Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive

Whore Face

October26

I had to go to the doctor yesterday. Routine stuff, really. No new diagnoses, no new ailments, nothing of the sort, except that I still give good (neck) spasms. Like, the doctor seemed impressed by my neck spasms. Apparently, I excel at neck spasms. Who knew?

But as he was examining me, he noticed my chin.

You’re thinking, what, you give good chin, too, Aunt Becky? What does that even mean?

To which I would say a resounding, “probably not” and “I don’t know.”

I’ve been stuck with this rash on my chin for the past couple of weeks. On any given day, I was convinced it was typhoid, a tick bite, malaria, diphtheria, the bubonic plague, tetanus, or cat scratch fever. To be honest, with everything else that’s been going on, I’ve sorta back-burnered my chin. I mean, I’m pregnant with a FOOD BABY! Everything else comes secondary!

But my doctor looked at my chin and decided it was a “rash.” He didn’t share the TYPE of rash, so I’m assuming it’s face herpes. I mean, that’s the logical guess, right?

(right)

If it’s face herpes, it means that my face has been sleeping around on me. So much so that I now have a new strain of herpes that grows on your chin. It’s like evolution, on my face! Really, it’s a win.

Except, I guess, if you’re my chin.

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We’re doing a blog carnival over at Mushroom Printing. You should join us.

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Also: my friend Amy sells Scentsy, if you like that sorta stuff (and I do).

posted under What, ME Neurotic?

12 Comments to

“Whore Face”

On October 26th, 2011 at 11:33 am Veryveryrustybrown Says:
We want pictures!
On October 27th, 2011 at 12:42 am MarsupialMama Says:
Yes! we! do!
On October 26th, 2011 at 12:00 pm Darcie Says:
Hey, I’m a new here, and lovin every minute of it. As soon as I can run off the rest of my customers, I will be checking out the carnival. I hate it when my business gets in the way of blogging and shit.
On October 26th, 2011 at 12:05 pm Jormengrund Says:
heh.. you know, you might be allergic to the stuff you leave sitting on your chin.. just sayin’!
On October 26th, 2011 at 2:14 pm Andrea Says:
I can’t believe we got to see your weenie of a food baby, but not your herptastical chin!
On October 26th, 2011 at 4:50 pm Pete In Az Says:
Spackle it and sand it down smooth. Start with 120 and work your way up to 600.
On October 26th, 2011 at 6:45 pm Tracy Says:
I went to the dermatologist because I had a giant pimple on my forehead – golf ball sized. She took one look and told me I had herpes on my forehead and gave me a prescription for herpes medication. I decided not to take the medication until I got the test results, and it turns out it really was just a golf ball sized pimple. I think doctors just love telling people they have whore faces.
On October 27th, 2011 at 12:50 am Steve Bailey Says:
You had me at whore face…. but then you lost me at face herpes!
On October 27th, 2011 at 9:52 am ColinP Says:
Contact dermatitis for the non-win.
On October 27th, 2011 at 5:27 pm Maura Says:
Sounds like something my chin went out and got when I was in college.

I came back from the MD shore ( where waves are non existant ) with a mild fiberglass burn on my chin from falling drunkenly onto a surfboard ( I think ) – but the fun didn’t end there. I got a lovely staph infection there, and it looked like road rash gone wrong – for weeks and weeks.

Some funky white cream from the Dr and I was fine.

Go get yourself some funky white cream.
On October 28th, 2011 at 11:11 am StephanieC | Seriously? Really? Seriously? Says:
I think thre is somehting seriously wrong with me when I was disappointed you didn’t call us, your readers, whore faces.

I feel… somewhat EMPTY.

I think I need to discuss this in therapy.

Remember – chin condoms, ALWAYS.
On October 28th, 2011 at 12:47 pm Brook Says:
Post a pic of the rash so we can all diagnose you over the internets.