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The Tiniest Caped Crusaders


(my living room, four days before moving)

Me: “Hey J, come check out this costume! It’s a SHARK! You could be the Land Shark for Halloween!”

(sidebar: I’ve been trying unsuccessfully for 11 years to get one of my children to be the Land Shark for Halloween. 11. Years)

Alex (uninterested): “Nah.”

Me: “HEY MIMI, YOU could be the Land Shark this year for Halloween!”

Mimi (similarly uninterested): “Nah.”

Me (gearing up to spend some quality time perusing the wares at one of my fav Halloween stores): “Well, what do you want to be for Halloween this year?”

Alex: “Batman.”

Mimi: “Batman.”

Me: (goggles)

Me: “Are you SURE?”

Alex + Mimi: “YES.”

Me (tries not to look TOO unhappy about the prospect of not perusing costumes for the kids): “Ooookay.”

(time passes as I sulk. Mimi tries unsuccessfully to wrastle the iPad away from me.)

Alex: “Hey, Mama? What are YOU going to be for Halloween?”

Me: “Hrms. The Twitter Fail Whale?”

tinest caped crusaders

Alex (genuinely puzzled): “What?”

Me: “Nothing. I don’t know – maybe “Your Mom” or something?”

Mimi: “You should be Catwoman.”

Me: (thinks to self – no longer in my early twenties = not dressing slutty for Halloween) “Um…”

Alex: “Or Poison Ivy. You love plants.”

Me: “Ummmm….”

Alex: “Dad can be the Penguin.”

Dave, from the other room: “HEY!”

Alex (confidently and not deterred by Dave’s dismay) “And Big Ben can be The Riddler.”

Me (three remaining brain cells spell out one phrase “buy cat ears and DO NOT LOOK SLUTTY”): “Okay, kiddo. You got it.”

(Alex and Mimi scamper off.)


I took to The Twitter to ask for advice on buying capes for the tiniest of crusaders, figuring having new capes at my house could help with the transition a bit, and this is where it’s awesome to have Pranksters. My girl Jessica came through for me. Again.

tinest caped crusaders

(note: the boxes are, thankfully, now gone)

(the awesome hat, however, remains)

Tinest Caped Crusaders

(just looking at the boxes gives me hives)

Tinest Caped Crusaders

And now? They’re ready to fight crime. Just like the recycling lady.

And no, for the record, I never did go to the office and pick up the sheet about recycling. Seemed… like a waste of space.


I wrote this, too. I learned stuffs.

12 Comments to

“The Tiniest Caped Crusaders”

  1. On October 9th, 2012 at 10:22 am Aunt Becky (@mommywantsvodka) Says:

    The Tiniest Caped Crusaders

  2. On October 9th, 2012 at 10:42 am Shelley (@momma_oz) Says:


  3. On October 9th, 2012 at 10:47 am Cindy Says:

    I think the tiniest caped crusaders are the best. They really just want rthe world to be right. Well, that, and maybe a cookie or something; and really, that’s not so bad at all.

  4. On October 9th, 2012 at 11:29 am Synnove @ Don't Chew On The Dinner Table! Says:

    The hat is FANTASTIC!

  5. On October 9th, 2012 at 12:21 pm Jessica Layman Says:

    Yay! Tiny superheros! Those things are washable btw.

  6. On October 9th, 2012 at 12:22 pm @artemis_selena Says:

    In which I make capes for tiny people cc @mommywantsvodka

  7. On October 9th, 2012 at 3:13 pm JodieGirl Says:

    I will TOTALLY dress up as The Land Shark! Ain’t gotta ask me twice!( Or 11 years!)

    Me: Knock-Knock
    Home owner: Who is it?
    Me: Candy Gram (Bwahahaha!)

  8. On October 9th, 2012 at 6:15 pm Joules Says:

    Mine’s going to be the Hulk so no cape necessary. I’m going to be Thor and I will be rocking it cape style. Not so tiny, though

  9. On October 9th, 2012 at 7:07 pm Jennifer Harlow Says:


  10. On October 9th, 2012 at 9:58 pm alexis (You can call me Al) Says:

    My aunt always made my brother’s and my capes when we were little. i wouldn’t have known where to start in terms of buying one. Those are perfect.

  11. On October 10th, 2012 at 1:40 am Kristin Says:

    Please, please tell me you are going to get a group picture of y’all on Halloween!

  12. On November 5th, 2012 at 9:07 am Robin Waits On The Sidewalk - Mommy Wants Vodka Says:

    […] Batman. Now, when I was a kid (cracks knuckles, grabs cane and tries to figure out how to use cell phone), […]

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