Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

You Asked! I Answered!


Without further preamble, I present the back of my daughter’s head:

Fracking huuuge, isn’t it? But shit, it looks good and hopefully she won’t get female pattern baldness. Or if she does, she can wear some kicky wigs.

What’s that? You DIDN’T ask for an obligatory cute baby pic? Well, too bad.

This is the reason we can’t have nice things. I was being all good and stuff and ordering diapers online like an intelligent person would, right? Except I shouldn’t be allowed credit cards in my sleepless state because look at the size I bought FOR AMELIA. Who weighs MAYBE 9.5 pounds.

That’s right, I bought the size BETWEEN 1 and 2 rather than the size between Newborn and 1. They’re dwarfing her delicate butt.

All you can do is laugh, right? Because diapers, they don’t spoil.


That’s right! Since about a week postpartum, my feet have returned to their pre-pregnancy size and my cankles have been banish-ed! Hooray for no cankles!

Anything else you want me to answer?

44 Comments to

“You Asked! I Answered!”

  1. On March 14th, 2009 at 11:43 am Marinka Says:

    She is just perfect. and your feet aren’t too shabby, either.

  2. On March 14th, 2009 at 11:50 am Cathy Says:

    You are so much braver than I. Daniel’s “this is what the back of your head looked list post op” pictures just aren’t for public viewing. Or anyone with a heart and stomach. I only took them so HE can see when he’s older. And the tube pictures? Oh forget it.

    It does look good though, for what it is.

    And hey, those bigger diapers are handy to have around sometimes, when the kid decides to start blowing out of her regular size, those will fit right on top!

  3. On March 14th, 2009 at 11:54 am gypsygrrl Says:

    omg she is so pretty…please give her a squish from me…
    i love your tattoos… how bad did they hurt?

    much love,
    your BBFF

  4. On March 14th, 2009 at 12:21 pm Danielle Says:

    It looks like it’s healing very well. She’s a very cute little girl! Glad your ankles have returned..yay for mini skirts ;o)

  5. On March 14th, 2009 at 12:45 pm Kristen Says:

    Wow, her incision is healing so nicely! It will be just fine in the long term I think. She is so blinkin’ cute! And so are your toesies. Now:P

  6. On March 14th, 2009 at 1:15 pm Eva Says:

    Actually I’ve heard of disposables expiring! But I think it takes, like, years.

    Very cute baby. Isn’t it amazing a whole human can weigh so little? And yet.

  7. On March 14th, 2009 at 1:31 pm tina Says:

    She’s cute, but my kid has more hair than yours 😉 Thanks for the comment on FB.

    Those sizes mean nothing to me. DS wears the ones for 35+ pounds. He’s closer to 24.

  8. On March 14th, 2009 at 1:37 pm Miss Grace Says:

    I bet she looks great in a fetching sun bonnet though.

  9. On March 14th, 2009 at 1:38 pm tash Says:

    What are you drinking?

    Cuz I’m pouring.

    She looks awesome, seriously. Back, and front. It’s all good.

  10. On March 14th, 2009 at 1:39 pm Madame Yu See Says:

    The hair will grow over it, or she can always do the ‘comb over,’ like a balding old man. Or she could get transplants, so the kids at school don’t make fun of her.
    WTF did that surgeon use to make an incision that long, scoop out the grey matter and sew it up all in 45 minutes? A hack saw and a portable sewing machine?

  11. On March 14th, 2009 at 2:19 pm Betty M Says:

    Nice feet. Lovely baby.

  12. On March 14th, 2009 at 3:26 pm swirl girl Says:

    she’s a cutie pie!
    and your feet are freaking me out!

  13. On March 14th, 2009 at 9:03 pm heather Says:

    Dude. Those are sexxy feet. And a gorgeous baby. And big diapers. So what do the brothers think of the little wiggle worm?

  14. On March 14th, 2009 at 9:55 pm Wife and Mommy Says:

    Cute baby! I’m so glad I clicked to come over and visit you!

    The reason I clicked to visit is to say thank you for your support in my Super Heavy Duty Post on Violence Unsilenced. I appreciate it greatly.

  15. On March 15th, 2009 at 12:15 am Trina Says:

    She is beautiful and think of all the stories she can come up with to explain that scar away!!! One tough little baby and georgous tats mommy

  16. On March 15th, 2009 at 2:11 am baseballmom Says:

    It’s amazing how quickly babies’ skin heals-when t had hernia surgery at 7 weeks, they didn’t even use stitches, they used that clear tape that just falls off after a week or so. I was scared to death that it would pop off and internal parts would leak out. Glad she is doing so great, girl.

  17. On March 15th, 2009 at 8:08 am Trish Says:

    Amelia is too cute. I am sure that her hair will grow back and you won’t even be able to tell that she had surgery. Glad to hear that your cankles are gone! I had terrible cankles while pregnant, so I feel your pain!

  18. On March 15th, 2009 at 8:21 am Lainey-Paney Says:

    in time, that little head scar will be covered.

    and yes—bye-bye cankles!

  19. On March 15th, 2009 at 1:26 pm Candi Says:

    You crack me up with the diapers. I went to the store 3 times for preemie diapers and came home with the wrong size each time. Who knew “N”, “1”, and “12-15 pounds” wasn’t some weird code for “preemie”? Cuz I sure thought it was. New mom brain…you’re allowed. And your ankles are beautiful.

  20. On March 15th, 2009 at 3:24 pm Stacey Says:

    She is so cute! Congrats on getting your ankles back!

  21. On March 15th, 2009 at 4:29 pm Holly Cha Says:

    I *heart* you and Little Missy. She is BEAUTIFUL. I’ve been reading (Sorry I haven’t been commenting) and she couldn’t have a better mama. Love to you all.

    Ankles are a good thing.


  22. On March 15th, 2009 at 5:31 pm zelzee Says:

    She is beautiful!!!!
    With gorgeous eyes like that…………who needs hair?

  23. On March 15th, 2009 at 6:42 pm Elaine at Lipstickdaily Says:

    I LOVE her! And you’re very brave . . . I can’t imagine posting pics of my feet . . . of course mine never returned to their prepregnancy state . . . after 7 years I don’t think they will.

  24. On March 15th, 2009 at 6:42 pm Mrs.LaLa Says:

    Cute baby, nice tatts. =)

    I did the same thing with the girls diapers, I didn’t even notice that they made a size 1-2 until I got them home and they were effing HUGE on them.

  25. On March 15th, 2009 at 9:24 pm 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why Says:

    I had no idea diapers came in “in-between” sizes. Congrats on the real ankles! BTW, I love your ink!

  26. On March 16th, 2009 at 6:58 am Amanda Says:

    So cute! And it looks like the incision is healing rather nicely. She can definitely use the “I got this in a bar fight…” line.

  27. On March 16th, 2009 at 8:47 am SCY Says:

    You got good feet 😉 AND A CUTE BABY! Her cut is healing so well and soon her hair will totally cover it…


  28. On March 16th, 2009 at 8:08 am Io Says:

    Yes. I would like to know if you get hair on your toes and, if so, what you do about it.

  29. On March 16th, 2009 at 8:38 am heather Says:

    Feet look good, head looks good, all seems to be in order. This has truly been amazing.

    Has the doctor given you something to put on the incision to prevent scarring (after it’s completely closed)? I know that Mederma works, but they also have Dr. Blaine’s scar patch things that are supposed to work miracles. I know the hair will cover it, but if you can minimize the scar tissue as well, that would be so much better. Especially since her head is so tiny, by the time it’s adult sized, it should be nearly invisible.

  30. On March 16th, 2009 at 9:39 am Katie Says:

    She’s a beauty!! Mom’s feet ain’t bad, either. 🙂
    I have an award for you on my blog, come get it!

  31. On March 16th, 2009 at 11:12 am Susan Says:

    Oooh, you’re obviously feeling better and I’m SO glad. Your ankles and your daughter? Iz gawjus.

  32. On March 16th, 2009 at 12:09 pm magpie Says:

    She is friggin’ cute, and yes, better that you bought diapers too big than too small!

  33. On March 16th, 2009 at 11:34 am kbrients Says:

    her head looks great!! And so do your ankles 🙂

  34. On March 16th, 2009 at 11:47 am the mama bird diaries Says:

    Your baby is adorable. And you’re ankles look fab. 🙂

  35. On March 16th, 2009 at 11:58 am Nity Says:

    Great pictures! She is ADORABLE. She’ll have a scar that she can wear with honor! My friend had a tumor in her head that had to be removed and the only reason I found out was because she (crazy girl that she was) decided to shave her head in college.

    Yeah on ankles being normal. Huge relief.


  36. On March 16th, 2009 at 12:35 pm Susan Says:

    Nice tats. Beautiful kid.

  37. On March 16th, 2009 at 12:38 pm Coco Says:

    Actually, her incision looks pretty damn good, if you ask me. I swear by Neosporin for scar minimizing – when I blew out my windshield with my face at 18, it was all I used and you can hardly tell. And she is so freaking cute! I want to boop that little nose.

    Also, your feet are super sexy. I love the foot tats, did I ever tell you before?

  38. On March 16th, 2009 at 12:57 pm birdpress Says:

    The scar looks great! And when she gets older her hair will cover it anyway. You will be really glad you ordered those diapers on a few months. And wook at the cute wittle feet! Yeah, yours!

  39. On March 16th, 2009 at 2:16 pm mumma boo Says:

    She is so cute! I’m drooling over those baby cheeks, you know. Looks like the incision is healing up nicely! Amazing powers of recovery, those little ones. And sexy feet, mama. Sexxxeeeee…. 😉

  40. On March 16th, 2009 at 2:54 pm Kristine Says:

    I had no idea they made between sizes diapers…although I had to use huggies because pampers have perfume in them and SOMEONE has a sensitive butt.

  41. On March 16th, 2009 at 3:57 pm Ginger Magnolia Says:

    I’m glad you’re doing well, I’ve missed reading.

  42. On March 16th, 2009 at 4:43 pm Michelle Says:

    It actually looks great! (your feet look great too. How do you have such a great looking pedicure with a new baby?!) Did you take any pictures of it before surgery? (sorry. the doctor part of me is dying to know!)

  43. On March 16th, 2009 at 6:34 pm Jerseygirl89 Says:

    Your foot picture makes me want a new tattoo.

    Amelia looks amazing – back and beautiful front.

  44. On March 16th, 2009 at 8:12 pm Fiddle1 Says:

    She is stunning. So glad you included the obligatory cute baby pic, though, a better description is beautiful baby pic. I think her scar looks remarkably well. Think of the fun she’ll have telling her friends how she got it!

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