Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Why Blogging Is Important


Bloggers, especially mom bloggers, have taken a lot of heat. We’ve been accused of neglecting our children so that we can go online and post how-to-make-tutu guides on our frivolous, silly blogs. We should get our asses back into the kitchen and tend to our kids! We should turn off our pink lap-tops and stop trying to pretend we’re important. If we want a job, well, we should go out and get one.

To be honest, I don’t quite understand why anyone would get their hackles up over blogs about tutus, blogs written by women, or blogs written by Russian spammers, for that matter, but the New York Times is famous for dragging bloggers through the mud. My best guess is that they’re lashing out at the New Media (blogs, Twitter, Facebook, etc) and using it for page views and free publicity. You know, all of us who write our rebukes on our own blogs that link to that article we’re so furious about?

Anyway, it’s all bullshit. You know it, I know it, and the New York Times knows it, or they wouldn’t be writing about it every other week.

A couple of weeks ago, I sat in the keynotes at BlogHer, listening to all of my friends up on the stage, reading their words aloud, and realized how important what we do is. Their words were more moving to me than anything I’d ever read in the New Yorker or the Atlantic, because they were real and they were honest and they were true.

I hugged some of them later, amazed that my own friends could write such beautiful words. Words that moved me, words that inspired me, words that made me laugh. I was so proud to call them my friends.

Later, I sat with some of my infertile and baby loss friends, who had raised money, supported and loved each other through many of the procedures necessary to produce the very children I cuddled on my lap. They’d all met through the Internet. It was an honor to call them my friends as well.

When Amelia was born sick, my life was upended, all my neat plans were tossed aside as I flipped into survival mode. Part of what happens when a family member becomes very ill isn’t just the immediate threat of losing someone you love. It’s the change in dynamics of all of your relationships, and I do mean all of them.

People who you could normally count on to lend an ear or shoulder suddenly become harsh or distant or “can’t deal with you right now, Becky.” They say things that maybe they cannot recall, but you won’t forget. Everything is irrevocably changed.

In the midst of the chaos, I was so fortunate, though, to have the one thing I could count on: my band of Pranksters. You.

Maybe that sounds silly, saying that when my daughter was so sick, The Internet held my hand and made it all better, I don’t know, don’t care, but it’s true. It was amazing to know that people thousands of miles away were praying for me, holding my hair as I puked, and sending me love. It was what I needed. I’m honored to call you my friends. All of you.

So when I hear people mock blogging, I just laugh, because it’s clear to me that they have no idea what they’re talking about. They’ve never sat up at night, frantically trying to Google “blogs and prepartum depression,” desperate to make a connection with someone who might, just might, understand what they’re going through.

We don’t have coffee clubs* anymore. In my neighborhood, I’m the only one who stays home with my kids. I can’t find a mom’s club to save my life. My best friends all work big girl jobs in the city and have no children. During the day, it’s Your Aunt Becky and the tumbleweeds on my block.

That’s just the way it is now. Connections aren’t as easy as popping over next door for coffee and a chat. We have to seek out friends and confidants.

But I hope that none of us ever forgets that we are more than simple words on a computer screen. For every comment you get, there are ten people not saying a word, reading, learning, connecting with you, and though they may never speak up, they are there. Your words mean something, dammit, every single one of them.

And to anyone who says that blogging isn’t important, I say, with all due respect, “Fuck you.”

*what the fuck is a coffee club?


Incongruently, my Toy With Me post is up! It’s pretty hilarious. Sex toys and conservative in-laws, anyone?


So, Pranksters, what do YOU think about why blogging is important?

I’m putting up a Mr. Linky in case anyone wants to respond in a blog post.

142 Comments to

“Why Blogging Is Important”

  1. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:18 am Stacey Says:

    I haven’t been blogging for very long and certainly don’t get to as often as I’d like, but I’ve met some truly great people in the blogging community. And you’re so right. Many of whom write so beautifully and eloquently.

    What I love about blogging is that it’s a way of individual expression while also giving you a sense of community. You are able to share a little bit of yourself and there’s something about people finding you who get that part of you like no one else does.

    I’m rambling… See. This is why I write about food. πŸ™‚

  2. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:41 am Your Aunt Becky Says:


    See, I could never be a food blogger because I’d weigh 700 pounds. I’m getting hungry THINKING about your blog now.

  3. On August 25th, 2010 at 1:50 am Jenn-Jenn Says:

    I feel exactly the same way. I love the fact that I can vent or I can muse or do whatever I like and no one can tell me I’m talking crap! Even if I am! Well… they can, but I can review it and delete it so no one else knows. πŸ™‚

  4. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:38 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Got to love the delete key. Although, I’ve only had to use it with spammers.

  5. On August 26th, 2010 at 3:54 am Jenn-Jenn Says:

    You have to be KNOWN to get spam… Currently I’m relatively anonymous – I’m working on that.

  6. On August 26th, 2010 at 9:31 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha! Sometimes, my spam SOUNDS like actual people now. Like, “thank you for your opinion, I’ll be back to disagree with you in the PM.” It’s pretty hilarious.

  7. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:19 am Why Mom Drinks Rum (Holly) Says:

    I had to go PRIVATE because lawyers were actually using my blog in a custody dispute (not my kids)…how mother-freaking ridiculous is that? It IS important…which is why I went private instead of taking it down completely. It’s kept me sane more times than I can count.

  8. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:39 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Holy SHIT. Case and point and holy shit I’m sorry, Holly.

  9. On August 24th, 2010 at 5:44 pm voni Says:

    I hope we’re allowed to swear here, coz I am a MWV virgin and this is the first entry I’ve read and my 1st comment. Fucking lawyers! So many of them are the scum of the earth and I’m married to one!! (he doesn’t practice, could take swimming with the scum) People have to be VERY careful what they put out because it can and will be used against you, if the need comes. Which is why I stopped threatening to rip out the larynx of Verizon reps and feed them to my dog, I forgot the calls were being recorded!
    Be careful what you attach your full, real name to and remember that if you can see your name in a google search as “is on Facebook”, your security is probably not tight enough!
    Love what you wrote, it’s ALL so true, you really discover who your friends are when you or a family member, is chronically ill. And on that note: Julia C, you suck! (ex-friend)

  10. On August 24th, 2010 at 6:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Fuck yeah you can swear here, baby. ANY TIME.

  11. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:20 am Joanna Says:

    You wrote this on the perfect day. I was starting to get discouraged about my writing, and the reminder that people still get something from your writing even if they don’t comment really helped. When I look for an opinion or someone going through something similar to myself, I always turn to blogs. It’s nice to know we’re needed out here. Thanks.

  12. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:40 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s easy to be discouraged, and shit, I’m discouraged half the time. Sending you a fat hug.

  13. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:20 am a Says:

    Well, obviously, if it weren’t for blogs, I’d actually have to work at work, instead of reading all day! πŸ™‚

    To be honest, I think blogging is important sometimes, and other times, it’s mindless drivel. But it’s worth wading through the mindless drivel to get to the important. I think newspaper outlets are wondering how the hell they missed out on a phenomenon like this – they’re actually PAYING people to write and edit and stuff, and meanwhile, the ignorant masses are reading about someone’s kid and their escapades. For free.

  14. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:40 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    The mindless drivel is awesome, too. Like my blog. It’s totally mindless drivel. And that’s flipping awesome.

  15. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:18 pm a Says:

    Nah, you’re generally pure entertainment…

  16. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:39 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Entertainment = full of the awesome.

  17. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:21 am C @ Kid Things Says:

    You nailed it on the head. I stay home with my kids, too, and I would be lost without the connections I have on the internet. It’s about the only adult interaction I get most of the day. To say that it’s amazing to watch how we around the blogosphere rally around one another when necessary is an understatement.

  18. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:39 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    There’s so much crap that people complain about, that sometimes we forget what an amazing community we genuinely have.

  19. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:22 am Dora Says:

    Sing it, sister! Love you! And I loved having you cuddle my baby. Would write more, but I’m at work, and have gotten almost nothing productive (that I’m being paid for) done today.

  20. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:41 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You’re havin’ my baby….what a lovely way of sayin’ what you’re thinkin’ of me…

    Oh wait, what?

  21. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:24 am ZDub Says:

    You go, Becky, this is perfection.

    It is so hard to explain blogging (or dicking around on the internets) to people who don’t read blogs. I can’t imagine life without em. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m the only mom home on my street too during the day. I wish you were neighbors, we could have a block party with just us. BRING THE PILLS.


  22. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:42 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’ve given up explaining because it all sounds kinda dumb when I say it. I just leave it at, “I’m an international woman of mystery.”

  23. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:25 am anotherbecky Says:

    This is so true, and though I don’t blog, and I rarely comment on any blogs, I still connect with so many of them and feel connected to the community. Wish I was a better writer so I could really participate!!

  24. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:41 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    The connections are far stronger on blogs than they’ll ever be on any newspaper. Which is PROBABLY why the NYT is flipping out.

  25. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:26 am Suzy Voices Says:

    I started reading blogs long before I actually had one. The great thing about it is that I came across people who were LIKE ME, which was unusual. Silly, irreverent, honest people who weren’t afraid to tell it like it is. It was like coming home, if home were filled with people just like myself. πŸ˜‰

  26. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:43 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s EXACTLY it. Well put!

  27. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:26 am Leah Says:

    I grew up in a fundamentalist religion and always felt alone and like there was something wrong with me for not being happy there. Since I’ve started blogging, I’ve found a community of people from similar backgrounds who felt the same way I do, more of us than I ever could have imagined. Interacting with them is my lifeline and cheaper than therapy, and the added bonus that what I have to say might help someone else going a little further back on the same path.

    Yay for blogging!

  28. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:42 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    No matter WHAT you’re looking for, there’s always SOMEONE on the Internet who gets you. That, my friend, is priceless.

  29. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:30 pm Leah Says:

    Thanks, Becky! And I apologize, I didn’t know what the Mr. Linky thing was for. I haven’t written a post in reply so you can delete my name from there.

  30. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:49 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’ll leave it up there and let people find you anyway!

  31. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:26 am Catherine Says:

    Well said my dear. Blogging is like anything else that changes the world. At first it isn’t accepted and then it is criticized but then slowly it infiltrates the population and at some point “studies” will show it is going to be the next cure for depression, or will help lower your cholesterol. Those stone throwers just don’t get it.

  32. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:43 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Eventually, you’re so right, people will be all, ‘BLOGGING IS THE NEW BLACK!!!’

  33. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:31 am Becky Mochaface Says:

    People who mock blogging (or Twitter) make me want to vagina punch them. Until I remember they just don’t get it. And once upon a time, I didn’t get it either.

  34. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:43 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    No, I made fun of Twitter for ages. I even wrote a whole post about it. Heh. Humble pie, anyone?

  35. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:39 am Shell Says:

    Love this post. The connections we make are real.

    Though…um…if you get a free pink laptop for blogging, I’m still waiting on mine.

  36. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:45 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’ve gotten exactly (looks around), uh, some eye strain from blogging. You want some of that?

  37. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:50 am Shell Says:

    I have that already. And some carpal tunnel, too.

  38. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Shit, my wrists hurt.

  39. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:42 am moonspun Says:

    Blogging is important, because you know that someone, somewhere is going to read and care. And even if they don’t, you’ve written for yourself and that’s good, too. It’s one of those things, I believe, you can’t understand unless you do it.

  40. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:44 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Exactly. Some of the entries that I’m most proud of are the ones that no one read.

  41. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:46 am Becca Says:

    I don’t know how to do that linky thing, it looks easy but I tried and it so wasn’t! Anyhow, ive entered a new phase, where I’m blogging to heal. If somebody wants to bitch about my being too personal, fuck them! This is my only comfortable place to say some of this stuff!

  42. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:15 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Hahaha. Stupid Mr. Linky. I’m sorry, yo.

  43. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:48 am andygirl Says:

    A coffee club sounds terribly clandestine. must investigate immediately. also: you have a pink laptop? supremely jealous. also also: a blog by a Russian spammer sounds totally interesting. know a good one?

    I kid. on your awesomely serious post. I don’t know what came over me. oh I know! I started my period this morning. (I don’t know why I brought that up) (I’m really weird) (but you knew that)

    Anywayyyy. I agree. And I think this whole blogging phenomenon is revolutionary in terms of media. of course the NYTimes is scared shitless. they’re becoming extinct as everyday people everywhere are becoming writers of their own volition and creating free spaces where readers can read the work instantly. no publishing, no deadlines, no editors. it’s in the hands of the people. if that’s not a cultural revolution, I don’t know what is. how cool is that?

  44. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:14 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    The next five years will be fascinating in terms of the publishing industry. Not, perhaps, so much for the people depending on a paycheck (which I admit, sucks ass), but for those of us who do it in our own spaces. Very interesting.

  45. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:51 am Venti Vixen Says:

    I heart this post. Ridiculously well-written. I’ve gotta gather my thoughts and link up but kudos to you, LOVE this.

  46. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    *blushes* I welcome your thoughts. I know they’ll be amazing.

  47. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:55 am pattypunker Says:

    blogging has saved me many a day. connecting with like-minded, non-judgey people has breathed new life into my someimes dying soul. the nyt deserves a mushroom print!

  48. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:12 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    The NYT is getting precisely what it deserves.

  49. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:07 pm Katherine @ Postpartum Progress Says:

    I wish we had known each other when you had antenatal (pre-partum) depression. I would have given you the world’s biggest hug and tried to give you as much support as humanly possible. I would welcome you sharing your story on PP.

    And I couldn’t agree more with your post. You cite all the reasons why I love blogging and social media and the moms who do it.

    – Katherine

  50. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:12 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’d love to share my store on pre-partum depression. I remember googling it and finding nothing whatsoever about it and feeling so very alone (this was many years ago). I don’t want anyone feeling that way ever again.

  51. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:10 pm ThePeachy1 Says:

    15 months ago my life had 3 HUGE changes that encompassed every inch of my life. I got on line. Eventually I started blogging. I don’t blog about those things, I blog to be happy. I read to be happy, to be moved. Honestly the interaction from the internet has probably saved my sanity and given me a new life. so yeah in the immortal words of Demi Moore they can ” suck my dick”.

  52. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:12 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    God Bless Demi Moore.

  53. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:17 pm Neeroc Says:

    I started journaling online when I was going through my fourth IF treatment. Until that time I was operating in a vacuum. I’m not much of a joiner, I wasn’t about to sit around on uncomfortable chairs in a church hall moaning at my empty arms. But my LJ opened up a whole community of people experiencing the same sorts of things. They were there to support me through my failed transfers, my miscarriages, and many of them even stuck with me when I finally, finally, after 7 years of trying brought my own little baby home.
    This past spring we decided to try again and this time I didn’t breathe a word to my community. There was so much missing and I was so lonely cut off from my peeps. Things didn’t go well, I got pregnant and had a missed miscarriage, and as it turns out, still haven’t fully miscarried…ugh.
    I thought I just needed to write about it, so I started using this ID, but that wasn’t it at all. Finally, 2 days ago I ‘came clean’ in my LJ about my on-going emotional hell and I finally found the missing piece, the support and love that I’ve had at every turn for the past 5 years.
    I honestly don’t know if I would have been able to go through the last 5 years, 4 attempts, 3 miscarriages if it wasn’t for all the wonderful women I found online who helped me every step of the way.

  54. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:49 am Your Aunt Becky Says:


    Yes. This. Exactly. EXACTLY.

    Also, loves you.

  55. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:19 pm Silver Says:

    Brilliant. Well said. Like this very much. Thanks for posting. I 1000% agree.

  56. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:50 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Thank you, darling.

  57. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:31 pm step gas Says:

    well said, aunt becky. i have only been following you for a few weeks, but i already feel privileged to be a prankster and call you aunt becky. your blog is fucking awesome, and you are spot on with the support that we can find online and in the blogosphere.

  58. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:51 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Aw, I’m glad to call you a Prankster, yo.

  59. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:41 pm Janet Melancon Says:

    Guilty stalker girl here…love this post. Wish I had enough to say to actually write a blog instead of stalking other people’s brilliance.

  60. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:51 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    There’s always room for stalkers πŸ™‚

  61. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:48 pm beta dad Says:

    I self-deprecate about my own blogging and joke about how I waste so much time reading and commenting; but really, as a SAHD, if I didn’t have grown-ups to interact with online, I might lose my shit.

    Sometimes I prefer “playing blog,” as my mom says, to emailing or facebooking “real-life” friends, because I appreciate the format of blogging: one person presents a thoughtful exploration of an issue (or a crass spew of filth–it’s all good), and others react, often thoughtfully as well. It’s the way conversation would happen in an ideal world.

  62. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:51 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    This: EXACTLY.

  63. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:52 pm sara Says:

    Blogging is so important because it’s helped get me through some of my lowest lows. I actually don’t facebook or tweet much…but blogging I find therapeutic. The support people have given me, or just knowing I’m not alone has helped me actually get up enough balls to try this whole pregnancy thing on my own again. Bloggers are like little hugs..and I don’t think we can ever have enough.

  64. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:52 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I don’t think there are many things I’d have made it through without my friends inside the computer. Honestly.

  65. On August 24th, 2010 at 12:59 pm Rebecca Says:

    I linked up and I love you Aunt Becky.

  66. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:05 pm SarahG Says:

    Hi there. I am one of the 10 that doesn’t say anything in comments. But here I am, coming out of the lurking background!!
    I have only “found” blogs in the last year or so. I have yet to jump in and start writing for fear of…..well, I don’t know, not keeping it up and adding it to the list of “unfinished shit Sarah wants to do”. Anyway, I greatly enhjoy reading about other Moms that are like me (real and cussing and flawed…). And I have yet to come out and try to explain to IRL friends.
    Enough rambling, thanks for the great post.

  67. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:16 pm k@lakly Says:

    Amen sista! A FUCKING MEN!


  68. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:17 pm soccermom Says:

    I so agree. Honestly, who the hell has a coffee table anymore?
    My kids need room for running up and down the halls with out any freakin head injurys.

  69. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:32 pm Jessica - This is Worthwhile Says:

    In my mom’s day they were called “coffee clatches” and it was all the SAHMs on the street that got together for moral support and friendship.

    I’m just like you – I can’t find a mom’s group to save my life. Well, that’s not true, I went to a couple, but it was more like a bunch of women standing around not finishing sentences because we had to rescue our toddler from the slide (or whatever).

    That’s the hardest part about being a SAHM: drumming up your own social interaction. I mean, yeah, the day to day, high alert stuff is exhausting, but it’s the finding your own life that really proves to be the stumper for most of us.

    And that’s exactly why blogging is so awesome. And Twitter. And Facebook. Because we don’t have to leave the house to get the social interaction we crave and deserve.

    Great post (and timely, too).

  70. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:34 pm Nancy C Says:

    I hate it when people say they aren’t “Mommy bloggers” because they are “so much more than a mother.” We all are. Good grief. Don’t be ashamed that you are a mom. Or that you aren’t. Stop dividing, people.

    God, do I make any sense?

  71. On August 24th, 2010 at 8:28 pm downriver deb Says:

    ABSOLUTELY making sense!! Too much wall-building and not enough bridge-building nowadays.

  72. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:40 pm Hannah Says:

    Dear Aunt Becky,
    I love you.
    I’ve only been blogging & tweeting for a few months. Its so amazing to me the support and love that I’ve received from total strangers. My husband laughed at me because I call all you peoples my friends, but its the truth.

  73. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:41 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    Great post! I am a lifelong journal writer. Journals are great for getting things out of your head. But blogs take that further, they let you connect with other people who have had similar thoughts in their head and have come out the other side. Or people who still deal with those thoughts & issues and can help you as you both come to terms with things. No matter if you have close friends or not, there are just things you cannot say easily to a person you know is listening. The anonymity of putting those words out there & having the time to think about them as you write while still having the chance for feedback is a great thing

  74. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:41 pm Sam Says:

    What a timely nail-on-th’-head hitter YOU are, Aunt Becky. Two days ago I finally broke down and blogged about my daughter’s ongoing medical condition. I felt like I’d been carrying this sad, dark secret by myself. Today I feel about ten pounds lighter. A couple people commented on the post, but most sent me personal emails. It was amazing. The number of people who said ‘we had no idea’ or ‘we’re praying for you’ or whatever was just humbling. I said to myself, this is why I do it. This is why I keep doing it. Not for my support, necessarily, but because there are some fucking AWESOME people in this world whom I touch and who touch back. (And only in a good way.) RIGHT ON, Aunt Becky.

  75. On August 24th, 2010 at 1:44 pm Kathryn Says:

    I completely and 100% agree, we are writers in varying shapes, forms and voices and that is why blogging is great. It’s the raw version of writing, which I enjoy. No polish or publishers, just honest, many times gut wrenching or gut splitting writing. My linky above is old, I tackled this question in April when my father pointed out he thought my new blog doodad was just a bunch of gossip and a waste of time. He’s come around and luckily rarely reads my blog since sometimes I talk about things like sex toys which is awkward, well for him anyway.

    Blogging is writing and it is most definitely important. It’s also free group therapy and we serve wine so honestly, could there be anything better? I think not.

  76. On August 24th, 2010 at 2:02 pm Teisha Says:

    You never cease to amaze me.
    I blog because it’s cheaper than therapy.
    I read my blogroll and write my posts at work so without blogging what else would I do while I was here?

  77. On August 24th, 2010 at 2:03 pm Swirl Girl Says:

    NY Post? Who reads a paper anymore? THAT my friends and fellow-pranksters is why there is so much ado about blogging.

    I started blogging for cartharsis (catharto-blogging) then I ‘met’ people (several in real life) and felt bonded. Then I felt pressure to do it everyday, then week, then month…Two years later I feel at a loss for content. And for some of us, this burn out mirrors what happens in our real lives, much like relationships with flesh and blood. Reason, Season or Lifetime as the saying goes.

    We are such an instant gratification driven society – Blogs begat Facebook. Facebook begat Twitter. Everything wrapped up into 140 characters. What’s next??

  78. On August 24th, 2010 at 2:09 pm Lessons in Life and Light Says:

    This post resonates a lot with me right now and I know you understand why. The first thing I did when I came home from my first baby appointment was Google “blighted ovum, pregnancy loss, BLOGS”. I just needed to talk to people, reach out, be heard, and understand what the fuck was happening. Blogging has been my way of purging everything inside me…and it’s been so theraputic.

    I love you to death. I really, really do. Hugs, sweet friend.

  79. On August 24th, 2010 at 2:35 pm Melissa Says:

    I dont blog, but tweet, and I love reading blogs, because they are so real, and real people put themselves into it.

    Also, I THINK a coffee club is like a coffee of the month think.

    A coffee KLATCH is for coffee and gossip. The word Klatch is a german derivative of gossip.

  80. On August 24th, 2010 at 2:35 pm Sara @ Life With the Two Says:

    I blog, because I am too old and cranky to keep making new friends, so I have to keep my internet life. It’s really the only constant thing in my life.

  81. On August 24th, 2010 at 2:37 pm K odell Says:

    yep- gone are the days of quilting bees and tea parties. Gone are the days of mom’s bonding over morning coffee as their little ones play together. Blogs are very much an extension of these- because we all need others to talk to- and we need a good pat on the back occasionally as well.

  82. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:13 pm Leslee Says:

    I’m hoping that I remember you put up Mr. Linky when I make my next post, so’s I can use him like the dirty little whore he is.

    Blogging is important to me cuzz it gives me an outlet, especially now. Since I’ve been sick and have had to rely on everyone else in the world to get me to and from places, I’ve been treated like I’m a burden by the same people who told me that if I ever needed anything, all I had to do was say the word. Since I found out I’m pregnant (YES! I done got knocked up, yo!), and ultimately was put on bed rest, I’ve asked those same people to help me by doing my dishes or something so I didn’t have to feel so fucking guilty about not being able to do them myself. It’s amazing how people become busy when you ask them for help.

    If I didn’t have the internet, I’d probably retreat inside myself, which isn’t good. Since I’ve been on bed rest, I haven’t been able to blog as often as I would like to and even had to withdraw from the classes I was taking, but even just the little bit of interaction with people through facebook (since I’m not supposed to be on the computer for long periods of time) has helped tremendously! I’m hoping to be told no more bed rest tomorrow *finger crossed* and will probably be blogging up a fucking storm, being that I’m a hormonal mess and what not. It’s that release that helps through a lot of bullshit. πŸ™‚

  83. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:19 pm Meg at the Members Lounge Says:

    Although I don’t have kids, I treat my blog like one. I nurture it, love it, take it out to places like BlogHer, and make playdates with my little blog friends.(It stays home on vacation, though!).

    It’s one of the best things I did, and I’m still astounded I can connect with a ranch wife in Texas, a lawyer in Denver, and the triplet mom in San Diego. Amazing!

    And seriously, I think the NYT is just trying to propogate a smackdown where none exists. Like minds always attract like minds.

  84. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:33 pm Alexandra Says:

    What could I POSSIBLY say in a post that you haven’t said here?

    Except that blogging saved my mental state from a small town where I am the neighborhood nut for being a homeschooler and a bit “different.”

    Amen too you and your words above, and to all 66 comments before mine.


    AMEN. x500,000.

  85. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:34 pm Niki (Strawbrykiwi) Says:

    Well said πŸ™‚ I don’t understand people who view blogs in a negative light especially when they are people reaching out and sharing with other people in a positive or supportive way.

  86. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:35 pm The Mom(aka Amy) Says:

    I feel the same way. I have had a truly horrible year and in that every single one of my IRL friend has turned their back on me, ‘because I whined too much.’ I would have honestly lost my mind had it not been for my blog. When I had no one else to listen, I had that.

    I honestly don’t know if I can express this one on my blog. It is maybe a bit too raw, still.

  87. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:38 pm Nancy [Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas] Says:

    I couldn’t have said it better.

  88. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:46 pm Queen of the Rant Says:

    So true, that is exactly why I started blogging to see if anyone was going through what I am-this was a really great post-and blogging is far better then reading some crap in the newspaper that they have written, edited, censored etc. Its all bullshit! Blogging has feeling, emotion, and more depth to it then some idiot trying to tell us about something he knows nothing about.

  89. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:56 pm Aimee Says:

    I was so excited with the local newspaper called and said they were so interested in Mommy bloggers and wanted to feature me. They even came over and photographed me with my kids on my lap at my laptop. I was so happy to see our faces on the front cover of the paper…. and then I read the freaken article. Everything taken out of context, quotes from my blog that were from passages of hard ass days with not explanation to them, and it all just screamed “she is a shitty mom because she blogs”. I was fucken pissed. There I said it. Sure I wanted the traffic to come my way and possibly get more comments, and maybe just maybe help someone out there, possibly in my hometown here, to have an easier day because they can relate to me having an “off” parent day…. but was it worth my dignity and people thinking I am a shitty mom? Probably not. However I got a picture of my kids on the front of the paper to cut out and give them. Why the media has such an issue with us in wonderous–since isn’t the media pretty much the damn internet. Just cause I blogged I was having a shitty mothering day doesn’t mean I suck as a mother. Just because I am friggen honest with how I feel and write with raw flesh doesn’t mean you can take it and slant it the way you want to make it so people will by your newspaper and shake their head in agreement. And you know what is even weirder? Other people featured in the article LOVED it and it’s portrayal of who “we” are, and I just don’t get. That reporter can suck my left tit!

  90. On August 24th, 2010 at 9:10 pm MommaKiss Says:

    Just want to say that it SUCKS the local news did that to you! DAYUM!!!!
    We’re all parents, doing what we can. And venting is the point of my blog. My kids are loved, yah, but do I like them all the time? no f’n way.

  91. On August 24th, 2010 at 3:58 pm Erin on the West Coast Says:

    My husband’s elderly mom is part of a coffee club. They meet each week and compare notes on the local newspaper articles and recent happenings on the Weather Channel. I can’t make this shit up.

    Aunt Becky, you’ve had some awesome blog posts lately. They’ve created a lot of food for thought for me, a newbie blogger. Thanks for that.

  92. On August 24th, 2010 at 4:19 pm Krissa Says:

    Amen to everything you said and can I get the “Shut Your Whore Mouth” tee shirts in toddler sizes?

  93. On August 24th, 2010 at 5:10 pm starle Says:

    Go Aunt Becky! You are so fucking right.

  94. On August 24th, 2010 at 5:14 pm Peggy Brister Says:

    *fist bump*

  95. On August 24th, 2010 at 5:29 pm KaraB Says:

    I’ve never really been a blog reader before until I stumbled on(while I was looking up awesome cakes) Aunt Becky and her hilarious and thoughtful site. Now after following it for quite some time, I find my favorites button filled with other amazing blogs that I love checking as often as possible. I can always find something that I nod along with to myself saying yup, I hear ya, I hear ya.

  96. On August 24th, 2010 at 5:42 pm Anjali Says:

    Here here!

    If I didn’t have the support I did through blogging after my miscarriages, I don’t know what I would have done. Blogging saved me. Period.

    And some of the best writing I have ever read in my life, has been written by mommy bloggers.

  97. On August 24th, 2010 at 6:24 pm Princessjo Says:

    Love this post. πŸ™‚ Thankyou for writing it Aunt Becky.

    Blogging saved me in a way too. Therapy at it’s best at times.


  98. On August 24th, 2010 at 6:30 pm muskrat Says:

    You forgot that it’s important so that we can write off fun-filled trips to New York and Nashville and New Orleans and San Diego!

  99. On August 24th, 2010 at 6:54 pm Mommy on the Spot Says:

    True dat! I just spoke at my writer’s club about blogging and all the cool stuff I learned at BlogHer and. . . crickets. And if there weren’t crickets, they were asking questions and by questions I mean condescedning comments poorly disguised as questions. I just shrugged it off (which is huge for me bc I am not a roll-off-your-back kinda girl). Anyway, you summed it up: they just don’t get it. It’s more than just writing; it’s about connecting with others, too.

    And btw, mom’s clubs are kinda like a lame-ass sorority, except without all the booze and guys. . . at least at official mom club events.

  100. On August 24th, 2010 at 7:19 pm Hockeymandad Says:

    Oh blah blah blah blibbity blah, now go make me a sandwich. LOL

  101. On August 24th, 2010 at 7:31 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Would you like some homemade pie, too?

  102. On August 24th, 2010 at 7:36 pm Hockeymandad Says:

    No need, I made my own pie 2 nights ago. Key Lime pie to be exact.

  103. On August 24th, 2010 at 7:59 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Dude. SHARE.

  104. On August 24th, 2010 at 7:46 pm Catherine Says:

    This is such a great post and something I really needed to read right about … now! Great post. Fantastic blog!

  105. On August 24th, 2010 at 8:07 pm Marianne Says:

    I am blogging more and enjoying it more because of you. Did you know that you are an inspiration? Yep. No lie. You are!

  106. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:24 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I love you.

  107. On August 24th, 2010 at 8:38 pm downriver deb Says:

    Didn’t the feminist movement begin with women sitting down together in a room and talking honestly with each other? And what is blogging but conversation in a bigger room? We need more open and honest communication instead of the divisive name-calling and fear-mongering I see on so-called news programs these days. Reading women’s blogs makes me feel that I’m a part of something instead of feeling like an all-alone, weird person. Blog on, everyone!

  108. On August 25th, 2010 at 9:23 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Yeah, that’s actually what I was THINKING about when I was reading these comments! Too funny that you’d bring it up!

  109. On August 24th, 2010 at 9:12 pm MommaKiss Says:

    oh the life of a blogger. even one like me who does it as a total sounding board [i ain’t no writer]…

    judgy mcjudgersons can go screw.

  110. On August 24th, 2010 at 9:42 pm Allison @ Alli 'n Son Says:

    Lovely, lovely, lovely. This post is so going on my weekly favorites list.

  111. On August 24th, 2010 at 9:48 pm pamtastic Says:

    I’m a newbie to this whole blogging thing, but I love it! It’s a way to mass connect, get advice, vent and gain support from so many more people than just the ones you can drive to see any ole regular day. Screw “them” for thinking stupid thoughts…I hope they all stub their toe tomorrow when they get out of bed…boooooo them…

  112. On August 24th, 2010 at 9:50 pm Momlissa Says:

    I so agree with the connections you make, especially during difficult times. There were times, especially when I was struggling with miscarriages and infertility, that only my online friends were truly there for me, could even remotely understand what I was going through. I am still friends with those people today and have taken my shots from my IRL friends with regards to my “internet” friends.

    My grandmother used to be part of a coffee club, so to speak. I would go with her as she met her octegenarian (sp?) friends every day for coffee and gossip. Hard core gossip. They were pretty ruthless for old ladies, but I still remember being fascinated by listening to them talk and wanting to write because of it, to capture the narrative. Anyway – thanks for the post. πŸ™‚

  113. On August 24th, 2010 at 10:08 pm Kristin Says:

    I’ve been blogging almost 6 years and I sure as hell wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t important. It’s a shitload cheaper than therapy. When I was going through my repeat pregnancy losses, it was friends I made on the internet that dropped their lives, packed up their kids, and came to the rescue. It was friends online who made me a quilt to remember the little girl I lost. I found the world of the ALI blogs and that is what lead me to finding the medical paper that gave me the information I needed to carry my pregnancy with Gabe to term. It was friends online who carried a cross and prayed every single day of my pregnancy with Gabe. You can’t tell me online and blogs aren’t important.

  114. On August 24th, 2010 at 10:22 pm Tricia Says:

    This post kicks ass. You are a badass, and I wish I could live in your neighborhood and come over and drink too much coffee, then probably puke because knowing me, I forgot to eat breakfast. Why that seemed an important sidenote to this story, I have no idea. But anywho, this post is why I blog. It’s why I keep coming back, even if I haven’t written in a while. Because the people I’ve met blogging are becoming my REAL friends, not just my “bloggy” friends. There is no distinction anymore. Without the people that live in my computer, I’d lose my f-ing mind.

  115. On August 24th, 2010 at 10:39 pm The Sweetest Says:

    Can I get an “Amen!” Even my husband has been giving mixed support. On one hand, he’s proud of me, but at the same time he is always asking when I am going to start making some money off “that blog.” It makes me feel like underneath it all he thinks I need to get a “real” job to prove my worth. Mothers should get paid.

  116. On August 24th, 2010 at 11:09 pm flutter Says:

    I fucking LOVE YOU

  117. On August 25th, 2010 at 12:10 am edenland Says:

    Well there’s 99 comments … thought I’d tip it over into the triple numbers. You are so welcome.

    Fuck I loved this post. I also love being able to say fuck in your comments. Fuck fuck fuck.

    It was SO COOL to meet you in the real, live flesh. Longer next time, hopefully. I will never stop blogging. And you sure as hell better not either.


  118. On August 25th, 2010 at 10:02 am Carrie Says:

    Blogging is SO important! I haven’t been blogging for very long, but love being able to reach out to people I normally would never come in contact with and share viewpoints. Mommy Wants Vodka inspires me to keep writing! Thanks!

  119. On August 25th, 2010 at 10:43 am Dotty Says:

    I was just fuming yesterday that so many people I know think my blog is a faze, a silly past time and a distraction from life. Your words are my words, lady! Blogging is a life line and a cure for everything that modern society is missing. Connecting to neighbors, making new friends, sharing triumphs and tragedies and keeping your head above water is what blogging does for me. That, and allow me to stretch my creative muscles and scream four letter words into a universe that loves the words shit and fuck.

    Thanks for a great post. You are now on my NOC list.


  120. On August 25th, 2010 at 11:06 am Ed Says:

    Seriously, yo. The friends I’ve made in the blogosphere are in many ways closer to me than the friends I hang out with. They’re definitely better neighbors. And they smell better. At least in my mind’s nose.

  121. On August 25th, 2010 at 11:26 am choosy Says:


  122. On August 25th, 2010 at 11:41 am Julie Says:

    Huh. For me blogging is important because it gets me so frequently LAID.


  123. On August 25th, 2010 at 7:00 pm Juliet Says:

    Oh my, now I have a new post because I was having writer’s block. Yes! “How to make a pink tutu”…First, make sure you are barefoot (check), have your husband’s permission (check), don’t say anything too truthful because motherhood is all it’s cracked up to be and remember you have a sewing needle in your hand (check),. now take you sewing needle and continually poke out your eyes but be sure to do it AFTER you’ve made dinner, muffins, your husband a cocktail and cleaned up the house (check). Also try not to bleed too much because your husband might think you’re not accepting any “visitors” because you are having a monthly episode…

    Ok, totally fucked up — but what the hell? This writer must have some serious mother issues…
    Or maybe he read my blog where I talk about what an awesome mother I am and how my kids feed the homeless daily after bringing me breakfast in bed…


  124. On August 25th, 2010 at 8:45 pm Maria Says:

    You are always reminding me of how much I love you with big puffy, sparkly, pink hearts.

  125. On August 25th, 2010 at 8:46 pm Maria Says:

    Oh and y’know what? Without blogging I would have run away from my family, or, my head would have exploded by now.

  126. On August 25th, 2010 at 10:21 pm Ali Says:

    “But I hope that none of us ever forgets that we are more than simple words on a computer screen. For every comment you get, there are ten people not saying a word, reading, learning, connecting with you, and though they may never speak up, they are there. Your words mean something, dammit, every single one of them.
    And to anyone who says that blogging isn’t important, I say, with all due respect, ‘Fuck you.'”

    This made me want to speak up. Your words mean something very important to me, Aunt Becky. They speak to a broken, hurt part of me that still cries for my sick baby (all healthy and big now, praise God) and the other baby that was never born. But, you’re also another kindred spirit that doesn’t forget to laugh at every ridiculous chance life give you.

    Thanks for reminding me that my words probably mean something to someone else, too.

  127. On August 26th, 2010 at 9:46 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Absolutely, you do. Much love.

  128. On August 26th, 2010 at 5:19 am Al_Pal Says:

    Great post. The blogging community is SO important.

  129. On August 26th, 2010 at 6:09 pm Kate Says:

    Why do you think that I blog? I blog as a military wife…for every one wife like me who will SAY what they FEEL, there are 30 who will stand silent. I blog because I am ALONE for large parts of the year. I blog because I CAN. Everyone else needs to shut their whore mouths.

  130. On August 27th, 2010 at 9:05 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Yes. Fuck yes. FUCK yeah. Loves you.

  131. On August 26th, 2010 at 6:57 pm Denise Says:

    I must admit that I just discovered blogs and just started my own blog. But I love that I can read someone else’s words and they make me feel connected. I hope that some feel that way when they read my silly blog posts.

  132. On August 27th, 2010 at 9:05 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You know, I’m sure that they do.

  133. On August 27th, 2010 at 9:13 am Just Jo Says:

    Thank you for being incredible. I only found your blog today, so I’ve been catching up on all the older posts. You really and truly are amazing and an inspiration.

  134. On August 27th, 2010 at 3:43 pm Beth Says:

    I agree with you wholeheartedly about finding a whole other community and support network. Plus sometimes it’s easier to find someone online than in real life who realizes I don’t realistically think that setting Wilson’s girlfriend on fire would be funny… though, y’know, it probably would be. Plus there’s just the release of the writing itself. I’ve let my time get taken away from me for this or that or the other thing, and blogging is one of those times where it’s like I can shut down for a little bit and it’s all about ME, dangit!

  135. On August 27th, 2010 at 8:32 pm Fave Links Says:

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  136. On August 27th, 2010 at 10:56 pm bashtree Says:

    I think blogging is important because I have lots of drivel that needs to escape from my head, and nobody around here wants to listen. But there’s ALWAYS somebody on the internet who wants to listen. It’s a win-win-win.

    Seriously though, blogging has been a way for me to reconnect with writing. As a girl who had a TBI mere months after graduating with a journalism degree and subsequently lost pretty much all writing skillz, blogging has made ‘writing’ a lot less scary. It’s made reconnecting with that part of me a little (ok, a lot) easier than trying to re-learn what once was my trade and my greatest interest.

  137. On August 28th, 2010 at 12:19 pm Jerseygirl89 Says:

    I love you, Aunt Becky.

  138. On August 30th, 2010 at 8:38 am Nicole Says:

    Dude,I love all those tutu tutorials! I have made like 4 tutus!

  139. On September 2nd, 2010 at 12:05 pm Betty M Says:

    Bloggers got me through infertility, repeated miscarriage and mild depression. For a Brit who couldnt contemplate actually going into therapy they were my therapy.

  140. On September 8th, 2010 at 12:53 pm badbadwebbis Says:

    I’m late to this party, but I wanted to tell you that even though I jokingly mentioned recently that I was glad there wasn’t a Blogging Interwebs when I had wee ones bc I would bug the crap out of people with my nonironic mommy posts, I wish there had been some community out there.

    I was lucky enough to live in a compact neighborhood with 2 other SAHMs – the problem was that when one of them moved away to a much more better neighborhood, we had to have playdates. Which are a pain in the butTOCKS with wee childrens.

    I think that the problem the NYT has with motherhood-oriented blogs is that some of them reek of the money-earning desperation…pandering to advertisers, that sort of thing. You and those like you are clearly not sucking up to anyone, are flying your freak flags happily, and putting yourselves out there.

    Me? I’m the equivalent of the blogger off in the secluded corner of the room since my Place of Employment and Certain Relatives and Ex-Things may not appreciate this in the least. I have yet to have to make the thing private, although I will if I have to.

  141. On September 8th, 2010 at 2:31 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You know, I think you’re absolutely right about the NYT. My freak flag will always happily flap (heh) here.

  142. On February 21st, 2011 at 2:57 am Why Blogging Is Important Mommy Wants Vodka | Mommy Wants Vodka Says:

    Why Blogging Is Important Mommy Wants Vodka | Mommy Wants Vodka…

    […]Honestly the interaction from the internet has probably saved my sanity and given me a new life. so yeah in the immortal words of Demi Moore they can ” suck my dick”. [Reply]. Your Aunt Becky Reply: August 24th, 2010 at 12:12 pm ….. Blogging…

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