Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Why Being Non-Anonymous On The Internet Rules


I blog under my real name. For as long as I’ve written on Mommy Wants Vodka, I’ve used my real name: Aunt Motherfucking Becky. I WAS plain-old “Becky” until The Real Becky came and smashed my dreams to smithereens. Apparently, there is no room on The Internet for two people named Becky.


There’s a lot of babble about keeping anonymous on The Internet and I completely understand why someone would make that choice. This is not a slam against those who choose to use pseudonyms.

I use my real name: Becky Sherrick Harks, which rules, and not just because I happen to be a narcissistic ass-clown who likes the sound of her own name.

This is why:

0) You never worry about anyone finding out that you have a Super Sekret Blog. Because the moment you’re all, “WOAH THIS IS SO-AND-SO’S SEKRET BLOG,” people find it more alluring and therefore titillating to stalk it. Pop my name into a search engine and BAM! you’ve got me out in the open. Not so exciting for my ex-boyfriends to find if I’m just THERE.

1) It keeps you from talking shit. Sure, a good old fashioned rant feels fucking great, but it feels a hell of a lot less great when someone’s feelers get all hurty. The best way to keep your posts anonymous is to post them via a third-party website, like Band Back Together (for non-rants) and Mushroom Printing (for snarky rants).

1) It ensures you will NEVER have to work again. We ALL know how lazy I am, right? That’s a given. Going to work every day is bullshit. Thanks to using my real name, I’ll never have to work again! What employer wants to Google a prospective employee only to find out that she talks about her vagina on the Internet?

2) You get a whole new identity if you ever decide to be un-Googleable. It’s like entering the Witness Protection Program! I’d have to legally change my name and adopt a new identity, which means I could finally be “Princess Grace of Monaco.”

3) You never have to use those annoying cutesy code words for family members, which makes it easier for people like me, who have tiny brains, to understand your posts without requiring a key.

5) You never worry about slipping up and destroying your persona. Because your persona is YOU, baby. Warts and all.

8 ) People relate better to other people, not personas. Even if it means they’re stalking you on Myspace.

13) You waste a hell of a lot less time blurring out the faces of everyone in pictures like they do on COPS. Not, *ahem* that I watch that show.*

21) You can add your Twitter Feed into your LinkedIN profile, ensuring that alongside the professional updates like, “I recently acquired a multi-billion dollar company,” yours can say, “YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND MAKE ME A PIE, WOMAN!”

being non anonymous on the internet

34) You realize that when world’s DO collide (online and offline) no one gives much of a shit.

55) People now expect when they meet you that you’ll probably hump their leg while eating a hot dog. That gets any awkwardness out of the way beforehand.

89) You can put your real name on any name badges, as opposed to “Sex Kitten23.” That’s especially helpful if you’re somewhere you want to be taken seriously**, rather than at Stardollars.

144) You know that no one ACTUALLY wants to track you down and make a lamp out of your boobs, because they would have done so already.

233) You know that – anonymous or not – if someone wants to find you, they will.


**Shut your whore mouth.


Your turn, Pranksters. What do you think about the internet and anonymity? Do you blog under your name or do you use a pseudonym? Why does that word look weird? Why does it smell like oranges in my house? Why does powdered gravy suck so badly?

119 Comments to

“Why Being Non-Anonymous On The Internet Rules”

  1. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:22 pm vickilikesfrogs Says:

    I totally got distracted by your MOTHERFUCKING FOOTNOTES at the bottom and forgot what the post was about. Oh…wait…are you talking about your privates again? *snicker*

  2. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:22 pm Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:

    I LOVE you. You are my hero! I only have cutesy names for the kiddos cause I keep them private cause well their kids and my ex husband is a cop and he’s kind of Psycho about it. So it something we agreed on. Otherwise I could care less. I am who I am fat ass and all. Take me as I am baby.

  3. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:23 pm Roxanne Says:

    Cool. I learned a while ago that one way to discourage online stalkers is to bombard them with information.

  4. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:28 pm TheBlended Says:

    Brilliant. Who wants someone that puts out like that? 🙂

  5. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:25 pm TheBlended Says:

    Well…because I am involved in an ongoing custody dispute. And quite frankly, I am scared shitless of someone calling me out that I have a blog talking about them. (What would our Parent Coordinator have to say about that?!) I’ve used my anonymity (also a weird looking word) as a testing ground. In the future, if I find I don’t royally suck at this, I plan on using my real name on a different blog. Warts and all.

  6. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:27 pm TheBlended Says:

    Strike 1 (lol…JK, strike 2). I forgot a period. I might suck.

  7. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:26 pm Justin Says:

    I thought myspace was destroyed my garden gnomes back in 2007?

  8. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:28 pm Rusti Says:

    I’m doing a bit of both… I use my real name (first name anyway, last name hasn’t come up) but I use my toddler’s nickname “Goose” and I call my husband Hubs – which I sometimes do IRL as well – but he doesn’t “get” blogging… and he hates social media of all types… oh, and did I mention he’s a cynical (read: PARANOID) cop? (and we definitely watch some COPS… and The First 48… and all sorts of other Cop-related shows – not all the time, but they’ve gotten their fair share of play in our house) Soooooooo… up until recently I also purposely did NOT have any pics on my blog… and then two weeks ago I posted my first vlog… and posted my third one today… so there goes that anonymity eh? Although I guess that would only apply for people who actually read my blog… and those numbers are not all that high 😉 and I’m thinking that anyone who has a grudge against Hubs because he threw their sorry ass in the county jail for a night (or ya know, longer) well… they’re most likely not spending their free time perusing the blogosphere looking for me. At least that’s what I’ll tell myself when I’m hearing strange noises late at night while Goose & I are home alone… so, uh – can you please not tell Hubs I’m posting vlogs on my blog? thankyouverymuch

    oh – and sorry for the EXTREMELY long comment. I ramble. and anyone who has watched my vlogs can testify to that.

  9. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:29 pm dianthe Says:

    i’m right there with you! back when i first started blogging, i was working on a nationally syndicated morning radio show – kind a hard to be anonymous when you’re telling all your business on the radio! after that, it didn’t make sense to go anonymous – not that an Attention Whore like me would anyway!
    besides, with a name like “dianthe”, i’m destined to go by one name – Madonna, Cher, Angelina, Halle … you sensing a theme? 😉

  10. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:31 pm JD Says:

    I use my high-school nickname online and my kids have fake names online. But I just went to Bloggy Boot Camp in Boston and I used my real name. Which confused people. They were all – wait – are you JD? Momagement? Who the eff are you? But that’s because I’m not all famous and whatnot. At least not yet. Oh, you’ll know my name people, soon enough. You’ll know my name. BWAH HA HA HAAAA. Oh, and my name? It’s JD. Remember?

  11. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:42 pm badbadwebbis Says:

    OBVIOUSLY this is my real name.

    (I only have my cleverclever pseudonym and snicknames for the putroids because 1. I teach at a university that acts in loco parentis and who would be SHOCKED! that I say anything out of line [and let’s not forget what happened to a PA teacher who blogged, plus I don’t need my students knowing about my personal life] and 2. I have teenaged daughters who. would. kill. me.)

  12. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:42 pm erin margolin Says:

    This kicks ass. I am non-anonymous on my blog as well, but the only thing I can’t really blog about is my in-laws. I just don’t know how to do that without causing drama. Perhaps it’s time to submit something again to BBT? But it would be far more satisfying to put it on my own blog. Just let all that shit hang on out. And then maybe I’d be done with them?


  13. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:44 pm Brandon Says:

    I can go either way. People know I blog. I even have my blog’s web address on the license plate frame on my car.

    But at the same time, I don’t come out and say “My name is Brandon Pearson, I live at…” on my blog, just because of the wacko factor. All you need is one creeper to show up at your door, going “Dude! It’s me! Plaxor!” and it’s all over.

    I don’t hide my identity, but I don’t waggle it in your face like a stripper’s dick at a bachelorette party either…

  14. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:49 pm Michele Says:

    I see your point, but as a one time anonymous blog keeper I see the other as well. I do not encourage people to use their children names at all. Because your child’s name will be search able even before they’re of legal age. And while some people are okay having giving blow jobs to spouses and ex boyfriend, how much they are disappointed and let down by their own kids being out there for the world to see, or even marital or mental illness issues, your kids don’t need their peers or their peers parents reading things about them. They have their own stories and things they’ll be will to share when they’re older, and we don’t need any more fodder for bullies out there.

    BTW I am the same person in RL, I speak out and against things I see going wrong. And in RL I’d still say to Dooce I think she’s mean in what she says about her children,and she’s got an ego the size of Manhattan.

  15. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:57 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Absolutely understandable and the last bit made me choke on my diet Coke.

  16. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:53 pm PBG Says:

    I have a hard time with “hubs”. I get why it’s done,I just have trouble with it. The kids, sure- we are embarrassing enough all regular hours– it’s cool of you to give them a break via privacy (also you can REMIND them of that as often as possible = potentially manageable teenager?) 🙂

  17. On May 11th, 2011 at 1:59 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Hubs is one of the ones that really eats me up. And I do have a censor as to what I write about my children. As Michele below pointed out, there are things that aren’t for public consumption.

  18. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:13 pm Lauren Elyse Says:

    I love that I use my real name but not my FULL name. Honestly, anyone could figure out my full name if they wanted but whatever. Who cares about surnames anyway? I’m Lauren and that’s all anyone ever needs to remember!

  19. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:15 pm Lauren Elyse Says:

    Also, I use Duck and Duckling for my husband and stepdaughter… but that’s what I call them IRL

  20. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:13 pm Jana A Says:

    I’m too tired to be anonymous. But I do try to watch what I say regarding my kid, husband or anyone else that might not feel like being “out there.” Respect for the OTHERS you write about is key. I don’t care who knows xyandz about me.

  21. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:49 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


    Me too. I do try to be respectful of others who may stumble across my blog. Doesn’t always (CLEARLY) work.

  22. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:18 pm Erin Says:

    I don’t have my FULL name on any of my blogs but I suppose it’s not hard to figure out who I am. I have a bog that I keep private because I like to be able to vent about family members. It’s a mommy blog and I would LOVE to have more readers but I don’t know how to get them without said family members finding it too. Word of mouth isn’t working…I may have to try something drastic.

  23. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:18 pm ArykanotErika Says:

    Well the most important question about all of this is, by saying powdered gravy sucks does this presuppose that you make your own gravy ?? Cuz, uh, that shit is hard. You go Aunt Becky.

    Anyhoo, I guess I blog under a pseudo-pseudonym – my real first name. And its unique enough that if you google it, its just about always me.

  24. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:20 pm Brandon Says:

    A pseudo-pseudonym? Sounds dizzying.

    Or fun, if said by Sylvester the Cat.

  25. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:49 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I vote mine to be “Basement Kitty.”

  26. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:22 pm Vinobaby Says:

    You are far braver than I am. I already piss enough people off in real life. I don’t need them tracking me down. But then I am truly delusional if I really believe anyone cares.


  27. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:24 pm Andie Says:

    I’m semi-sort-of anonymous on my blog. I’m pretty half-assed about it.. I mean, I’ve used my name, posted pictures of myself. I’m a little too narcisistic (fuck, I CANNOT spell that word) to be TOTALLY anonymous.

    I’ve avoided posting my kids’ pictures on there because A) I am paranoid of potential kidnappers and B) my kids are ridiculously effin’ cute and I kind of want to keep all the squee to myself. But even with them, I’ve been half-assed about not posting their names.

    Even my psuedonym is pretty half-assed.. Yandie, Goddess of Pickles –> Andie —> Andrea. Yeah, there’s a mystery for Inspector Clouseau.

    I try to be careful about friends and family and especially on the rare occasion I date someone for more than a week, boyfriends.

    Oh who am I kidding, I do it all half-assedly.

  28. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:37 pm txjennk Says:

    I have it all out there, but one blog I only “promote” on twitter and other blogs and my other blog I “promote” on facebook. The reason being I don’t care who reads my primary blog, but I have to think more about what I’m writing if certain family members were to read it. The blog I put out on facebook is for my family to track my training for a 5K because I’m special like that. And if I want to write something that I don’t want my family to know about…Hello Band Back Together. The greatest invention known to man.

  29. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:39 pm Nico Says:

    I’m just glad you said vagina instead of va-jay-jay. That euphemism makes me want to stab celery into raw chicken butts. Blame Farm Fresh Girl for that (it could be worse, actually.)

  30. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:48 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I have a vagina. I like my vagina. Euphemisms for it make me stabbity.

  31. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:58 pm Nico Says:

    I’ve always felt that if you can’t just say “vagina”, you’re probably talking about it in the wrong place. I am not burdened by a filter, so I can talk about my vagina anywhere.

  32. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:02 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I think we should all embrace our body parts as they are. Like my VAGINA (which is full of the awesome)(ew)(I just grossed myself out with that visual).

  33. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:26 pm Nico Says:

    It’s still a step up from a vagina full of fail.

  34. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:48 pm Shevaun Says:

    So, I have 2 little girls, and when I tell them to make sure and wash their vagina really well in the bath, my husband blanches…so I use it more. Even funnier is when they use it…I win at making my husband uncomfortable.

  35. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:04 pm Ms Dreamer Says:

    You make me want to sing “vagina.” 🙂

  36. On May 11th, 2011 at 8:32 pm MaryPoppinSertraline Says:

    My mother’s euphemism for vagina has always been “twitter”. I am not even kidding. IMAGINE our family’s chagrin when The Twitter became a social networking platform on the Interwebs. My brother is in sports radio/television with his own daily four hour show- he dies a little every time he has to say “Follow us on Twitter!!”. I confess to using the same euphemism with my four daughters when they were small, but only say “vagina” now. It is SO difficult not to revert and use “twitter” when with my charges every week. The cycle must end SOMEWHERE. Sigh.

  37. On May 11th, 2011 at 8:39 pm MaryPoppinSertraline Says:

    P.S. Now I CANNOT get the song ‘Three Point One Four’ by The Bloodhound Gang out of my head: “I need to find a new vagina/Any kind of new vagina/It’s hard to rhyme a word like vagina…” GUH. :/

  38. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:41 pm Robyn Says:

    I’m a trial attorney and I’m quite certain I would never win a case or be able to keep any clients if they read my blog. Not because there’s anything mind-blowing on my blog, but clients and jurors don’t want to think about attorneys in a personal way. Also, I like to complain about my job, so it wouldn’t behoove me to have my firm google me and see my frustration.

    “Worry” is too strong a word that I’ll be found out. But, there would definitely be some uncomfortable conversations that would take place if I was.

  39. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:43 pm Tershbango Says:

    Dammit. I totally have to go to work every day.

    I guess I need to write more posts about my vagina. My dad will be thrilled.

  40. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:45 pm Martini Mom Says:

    I keep thinking about going un-anonymous. In reality, I’ve gotten lazy enough about my “cover ups” over the past couple years that it shouldn’t be too difficult for people to figure out my real identity anyway. I had a woman at a PTA meeting last year walk up to me and say “Are you Martini Mom?” That’s what I get for not blurring out photos ala Cops, right?

    Really, it’s the job thing for me. I don’t mind so much if people are able to figure it out with minimal effort, but I do think it’s best if googling my name doesn’t bring up that post about the time I was pregnant and peed myself at the grocery store (I sneezed, okay?!). Let them discover my weakened bladder after they hire me, am I right?

  41. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:46 pm Bex Says:

    As another Becky, everytime I read your posts I am reminded about how, as a group, we Becky’s tend to be awesome. My “online persona” though is Bex, simply because my parents were the least creative people in the universe in the late 70s and named me Rebecca Ann Smith. Yup, Becky Smith, Google that and find me now bitches! When living with a generic name there is no reason to be anonymous on the internet because chances are no one can find you unless you direct them to your blog anyway.

    So in closing, you are a genius as evidence by your awesome name and your equally, if not more so, post.

  42. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:46 pm amber Says:

    As you know, I am completely findable too, although typing in Amber Page will also get you info about the stone, Amber.

    But basically, if I had a stalker, I’d be dead. I’m usually okay with that.

  43. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:48 pm Amber LaShell Says:

    I use my real name, and I talk about my vagina… alot.. and if someone doesn’t like it, then they can kiss my fat ass!

    Love you Aunt Becky…

  44. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:51 pm KellyRobin Says:

    I’m just getting into the game (read: have a site, but have not yet written a single word on it). It’s real namey. I don’t have any reservations about being completely “out there,” but the tiny monsters and husband may feel differently. The whole cutesy name thing bugs me, too. But, what the hell am I to call them all? Honestly, that’s the single reason I haven’t written anything yet. (Sad? Yes, it is.) Gah!

    Oh, and, I’d pee my pants in happiness if my mother-in-law saw some of the shit I think about her written up online one day. That would make it all worth it.

  45. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:51 pm Beth Says:

    When I first started using the internet, my mom was very, very firm about me never using my real name, location, etc. Which just made it all the more enticing. That said, I had years of fun as Gabrielle Collins, who was conveniently 18 and thus old enough to sign up for sites I couldn’t. Score! In any case, I now go as me. If someone wants to cyberstalk me or whatever, they’re going to. If they want to steal my information, they can do that online or in real life whether I use my name or someone else’s. At least this way I know who I am and don’t get confused. Most of the time.

  46. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:03 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Right? What’s my name again?

  47. On May 11th, 2011 at 2:53 pm Amanda Says:

    Hmmmm. I haven’t been using my full name because I worry it will be Googled and my blog will be found by a future employer and I will never get a job.

    Maybe I’m looking at it wrong? Maybe I should use my name so that I CAN BE Googled by a future employer and never get a job!

  48. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:03 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    SEE? It’s fucking perfect. You can’t work because you have a blog.


  49. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:06 pm Ms Dreamer Says:

    I’m half-anyonymous, but I like being Ms Dreamer. Makes me feel all Jane Bond and shit. It would so be my pseudonym if I ever finish/sell a book.

    And there is nothing wrong with the word “vagina.” Half the world’s population have one…why can’t we say it? Chaps my ass, it does.

  50. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:08 pm Ryan Says:


    Ummm err, well I guess I am in partial violation of this one, sorta straddling the fence if you were.. Ry is 1/2 of my real name Ryan, there it’s out… I hope no one wants to make a lamp out of my man boobs, now thats a keepsake nobody wants…

    Love your posts! Keep em coming!!

    Ry… I mean Ryan…

  51. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    “Man Boobs” = “Moobs?”

  52. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:12 pm A Vapid Blonde Says:

    I do anonymous. But give me a drink and I’ll hand you my blog card. I don’t do anonymous so that I can bash anyone in RL. I hate to give hurty feelings to anyone, even if I only have hurty feelings for them. So it is a strange blend that I try to remain anonymous yet I only type out what’s going on in my pea brain. Which is also why I only post about once a week. Not a lot of room in there for ideas.

  53. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:15 pm A Vapid Blonde Says:

    Also? How the hell did I post this comment five hours ago when I just hit the “Hit Me, Yo” button? Aunt Becky, your blog is a motherfucking time machine.

  54. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:25 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s a time-machine. A BLOG Time Machine.

  55. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:32 pm Momma Chaos Says:

    I blog under a completely fake name along with completely fake names for my kids & anyone I interact with. While I agree that it would be soo much easier to use my real name, I started my blog when 1/2 of my kids weren’t legally mine yet.. In the world of foster care, you have to watch your backs with the vindictive caseworkers who will take your *foster* child away simply to be evil because you said blue wasn’t the most flattering on them.

    *I may be slightly over-exaggerating but the principle is the same.

  56. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:34 pm MommyLisa Says:

    I wish I felt like I was young enough to wear a SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH t-shirt. Maybe I will get one for when I am 68 and don’t give a shit.

  57. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:52 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I can’t wait until you do.

  58. On May 11th, 2011 at 3:49 pm karen Says:

    My high school bully found my blog, and I’m 44!!! It only has my first name, because it is my first blog. I still don’t know how she found it, and I never named her so … I guess I rock as a diarist because she knew EXACTLY who I was talking about. Bwa ha ha ha ha !!!

    But seriously, I keep my blog to mostly my thoughts and opinions, and not about my family or friends, because I would rather tell them to their faces. And I might die if I saw one of the things that irritates people about me in print. But that’s just me, so I follow that golden rule.

  59. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:00 pm Cecily Says:

    what you said. 😀

  60. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:00 pm Cecily Says:

    what you said. 😀

  61. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:08 pm Andy Says:

    you might want to check the radiator behind the cat table. That’s usually where the oranges roll when they fall out of the fruit bowl and then make the house smell all orange-y for weeks till it then starts to smell moldy.

    Oh wait… maybe that’s just my house…..

    You better check anyway.

  62. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:12 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    I am what I consider to be semi-anonymous. People who know me IRL could find my blog since I use my real name & mention that peculiar house of mine often enough & I’m all ‘whatever, go ahead find me & read what I think about the PTO meeting’ but I don’t want people who know me online to be able to find me in real life, unless invited.
    You are just about the only individual online who actually knows my full name & address.
    I call my husband DH on the blog partly because he has The Nervous about his name being on my blog & partly because I’ve been calling him DH online since 1993 & sometimes have to remind myself not to call him DH during The Sex.
    The boys have nicknames because I feel they have a god given right to post their own embarrassing shit online & who am I to take that from them by using their real names before they are old enough to themselves?
    Mostly though, I have been online since local BBSes in 1989 & they were all limited to 8 character length names & they were all gaming boards & you used your character name. My full first name has more than 8 characters in it & between that & all the MUDs & RPGs I played, it just never occurred to me that I could use my real name until 2007 & by then I had been blogging for 3 years.

  63. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:16 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    make that my real FIRST name

  64. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:15 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    make that my real FIRST name. not my real name

  65. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:19 pm Ms. Key Says:

    Well! I had a blog that was TOTALLY NOT ANONYMOUS, and I loved it. HOWEVER, I am a new teacher, trying to still be hired eventually for a permanent position (for now I’m still supply teaching and doing long-term occasional assignments), and I realized that as my life was changing, my old blog just wasn’t working for me.

    I was censoring myself TOO MUCH because I was becoming afraid of being Googled, and in our tech-savvy world I really didn’t feel comfortable with the school community finding my blog (even though it never contained inappropriate material, I just didn’t want anything being taken the wrong way, PLUS, I was just naturally in writer’s block because of my fears).

    I also have an ex-boyfriend who I don’t care to share my life with anymore (and the other blog consisted of many, many stories of our life together and then the chronicles of our break-up), so it was time for a fresh start. Going anonymous in my profession, regardless of what topics I write about on my blog, is a must. Otherwise, I just can’t blog… students will find it, it will be taken wrong and/or be viewed as inappropriate for them to know so much about my personal life… so. There you have it.

    Teachers have a lot of responsibility for how they carry themselves! Stressful! haha.

  66. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:21 pm Amelia Says:

    I use my first name, and refer to my baby and husband by the first letters of their names. I don’t try to keep it quiet, I started on myspace with all my followers being people that know me. Then when the spaz went all wonky I started a blog and kept going as I had, it’s just that no one came with me b/c they’d already left and I was last hold out. So now everyone that reads are my internet friends not my real life friends. Whatevs. It would be interesting if my husband ever decided to read it. He says he doesn’t want to be mentioned. He’s too good of blog fodder to leave him out though. 😉

  67. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:36 pm Dr. Cynicism Says:

    Clearly I blog under my real name. I must say, I still fully appreciate and enjoy my anonymity!

  68. On May 11th, 2011 at 4:46 pm Heather Meyers Says:

    I use my real name. I’m with you on that whole if someone wants to find you they will thing. I don’t publish my phone number or address where anyone can see, because I don’t want to make it super easy. And I don’t use my daughter’s full name. And I protect our actual birth dates. Other than that I’m okay, because I know that someone actually stalking me in real life based on a non exploitative full clothed picture of my child is as about as likely as someone driving by her on the street and randomly abducting her. It happens, but it just doesn’t seem that likely.
    As for talking about people we know, I have almost decided to tell them to shut their whore mouths, because the person who gets the most upset about me talking about stuff THAT HAPPENED AND IS HAPPENING IN MY LIFE has spent years talking shit about anyone and everyone behind their backs. As long as you use some discretion and you try and be as fair as possible and express your own experience than if someone has a problem with it they can shut their whore mouths. Perhaps if you have something, or a lot to hide from the world, than you wouldn’t want me to repeat what five year old said to me. But if you have nothing to hide than, perhaps it shouldn’t matter who I tell. I hope that was good and vague enough for you!
    In the end, it’s like everything else, you have to do what you think is right at the time and live with the consequences. 😀

  69. On May 11th, 2011 at 5:15 pm Backpacking Dad Says:

    Also, because at some point you can start a website with the tagline “Here there B S.Harks.”

  70. On May 11th, 2011 at 6:58 pm Becca Says:

    I blog under my first name (Becca), but for the same reason I don’t use my kidlets names on facebook I don’t use them here. Because we work for DOC in the great state of Misery, we like just a little anonymity. But I understand about the whole secret post thing, it is precisely why I don’t blog about extended family…

  71. On May 11th, 2011 at 7:00 pm The Zany Housewife Says:

    I’m anon because of the Warden, I mean husband. It’s mostly because of his job. Occasionally my first name will pop up but I try not to make a habit out of it.

  72. On May 11th, 2011 at 7:14 pm Caroline Says:

    What started out as my attempt to be anonymous blog was shot to hell after my fourth or fifth. Friends would drop by and say shit like, “Very funny, Caroline!” The anonymity was a lame-ass attempt to hide my tracks should I rejoin the real business world. Now that that issue is out of the way, as I am now working for myself, I can say whatever the fuck I please. So next time I drive by my old office where I bitch fired me, I might just stop by and tell her to Shut Her Fucking Whore Mouth!

    I love you and you your whore mouth too!

  73. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:42 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My Whore Mouth Rule! Did you see they said it on Happy Endings last night?

  74. On May 12th, 2011 at 10:43 am Caroline Says:

    Tell me more about Happy Endings! I’d google it, but I’m sure I’d find nothing but porn and handjobs. I passed that phrase on to one friend last nite and told her to use it next time her BF starts an argument and another friend plans on using that phrase at the school direct at the end of the school year b/c her contract didn’t get renewed and he won’t tell her why.

  75. On May 11th, 2011 at 7:32 pm a Says:

    My job and a stalker ex-boyfriend from over 10 years ago and a husband who is paranoid about giving out information – those are the reasons I am anonymous. But I’m not that anonymous – email me a couple times and I’ll give you a work address. 🙂

  76. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:42 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    And THAT is totally fine.

  77. On May 11th, 2011 at 7:39 pm jess Says:

    You probably get this A LOT, but…


    And I love the lamp boobs idea.

    Just saying.

    Anyway, I HAVE been toying with the idea of anonymity.

    I don’t want my future spouse to go, “Dude, you BLOGGED about vaginas when you were fifteen?!”

  78. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:42 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahahaha! Yeah. I can see that.

  79. On May 11th, 2011 at 8:17 pm Becky Mochaface Says:

    I guess I’m kinda half anonymous and half not. Although if you try just the teensiest bit you could find my blog no problem. So it’s a good thing I keep the rants to a minimum.

  80. On May 11th, 2011 at 8:46 pm Josefina Says:

    I blog anonymously. I need to do that for my own mental health. My old blog was under my real name, and that didn’t work for me.

    I don’t think I would ever give anyone advice based on my experience, because my home life when I was growing up was a bit weird and certain things still get under my skin that probably wouldn’t get under most people’s. I need a little breathing room. So, I do what I know I have to do for myself.

  81. On May 11th, 2011 at 8:51 pm Natalie Says:

    I use my real name, my kids’ real names, the hub’s real name. I post pictures of my family. I however do have my blog set to not-googleable. Just because popping up when someone types in my name seems a bit weird for me. But I’ve also been very aware that that does NOT make my blog super secret or even very well hidden at all, it just takes more than 10 seconds to find it so someone actually has to be looking.

    I’ve always made it a policy (okay, in the past 5 years) to not post rants about anyone and not name other people (unless they are bloggers and want to be named/linked to or something). My blog is about me and my stuff, it’s not for me to put other peoples’ stuff out there.

  82. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:32 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    TOTALLY agree.

    And since I know you’ve been blogging as long as I have, what do you do with rude comments?

  83. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:42 am Natalie Says:

    If they’re just annoying and rude I leave them and then go stew. Or I respond with actual facts and logic, if they happen to be rude and idiotic (which is typical).

  84. On May 11th, 2011 at 9:19 pm Neeroc Says:

    When I started blogging my husband was all, ‘the internet is full of weirdos wanting to wear you for a suit’ so I started using Neeroc. Which I’d previously used online gaming. And if you think about it for a second you’ll get my real name from it. He still doesn’t want to be associated with my blog and doesn’t want pics of our daughter posted, so I keep it to a minimum…sigh.
    Also, the first blog was an IF blog and he really wasn’t comfortable with me discussing his sperm count and my encounters with the dildo cam for all to see…I don’t know how I married such a prude.

    Any whoodle, my current blog is linked to my FB profile, my coworkers and bosses and friends all read it, but it’s still Neeroc.

  85. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:32 am Your Aunt Becky Says:


    YEAH. I don’t know if Daver would be happy about that, either.

  86. On May 11th, 2011 at 10:33 pm Mompetition Says:

    I planned on being anonymous, then thanks to Time that went down the shitter. Even still I suppose it’s a good thing, there are about 20 things I have NOT made videos about because well, my family/friends…friend, would leave me.

  87. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:38 am Jenn Says:

    5. You’re using the wrong powdered Gravy – Ina Paarmans (South Africa) is The Awesomeness!
    4. You got the wrong pot pourrie? You eat too much Citrus?
    3. It has a P… Who does that when the word is spoken without one???
    2. No – Although I considered it because I am dying to rant properly about The Crazy.
    1. I don’t use the Internet well – my Husband is all “Google is Your Friend” but when I ask The Google a question it sneers at me and gives me crap.

  88. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:43 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Apparently, I need to travel to South Africa!

  89. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:10 am Veronica Says:

    I’m not anonymous and I never have been. I guess in the beginning I never thought anyone would be reading and now I’m just glad that I’m not. It means that being “outed” is a non-event because “Duh, you can GOOGLE ME.”

  90. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:19 am Ness at Drovers Run Says:

    I love how refreshing this post is! Totally subscribing. Might not connect on Linkedin though… 😉

  91. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:46 am Sylvia Says:

    x. Shut your whore mouth.
    77. I always use my real name, try not to be too rude or anything like that.
    * That word looks weird because you took topamax. asshole-o-max has bad side effects.
    31. Sigh. I wish it smelled like oranges in my house.
    q. Powdered gravy sucks because it has junk in it. You’re the science girl, YOU tell ME what all those words are and I will demonstrate why it is gross.

  92. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:50 am Sylvia Says:

    Lmao. OMG. Lmao.

  93. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:56 am Lianne Marie Binks Says:

    I blog both on blogger (which I write as myself, post links to it on my Facebook and Twitter and have absolutely no issue about being public) and also on Open Diary which I use as more of a diary and can only be acessed by people I give access to. OD is for those types of posts where you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings that you’re bitching about, or want a little added privacy – like for example if I was writing about sex in detail that I wouldn’t be comfortable with my mother and father or colleagues or old school teachers reading.
    Or bitching about my mother and father. *laughs*
    The weird thing is that I’ve made so many friends through Open Diary (I’ve been there 11 years now) that they have spilled over into real life – they follow me on Twitter and Facebook, they come to visit, I’ve gone to their weddings and even gone on holiday with them.
    Two of them even rented my house for a while and that’s what became REALLY hard. These people were filthy disgusting pigs and OD was no longer a place where I could bitch about it because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings or make our mutual friends uncomfortable.
    In my opinion whether you blog anonymously or blog as yourself – if you make friends through your blog then it causes exactly the same result in the end, worry about censoring yourself!

  94. On May 12th, 2011 at 7:12 am Faery Chaos Says:

    I blog anonymously, mainly because of my job (which I want to keep) as a contractor for the government (and no, I don’t make the big bucks, alas). I never use real names (unless I have permission, and then it’s only their first name), especially for my kid/family. I do vent about coworkers (ok, A LOT, but damn they eat loud!!)

    I don’t really censor myself, except for personal relationship issues, for which I have a totally separate private blog that is locked down.

    I like to pretend that there is a technical loophole that they can’t PROVE it was me (in my little faery head at least). I do random searches on myself and on my fake name and it’s just too general (thankfully) for anything to be tied back (yet).

  95. On May 12th, 2011 at 8:58 am MKP Says:

    I admire the heck out of you for blogging the way you do.

    My blog, though you can’t find it by googling my name, is read by my dad, coworkers he occasionally forwards posts to, and friends on twitter (some are IRL, others online only, others online-with-benefits like FB). I’m really only anonymous for people who find my blog by googling random shiz. Generally I like to be pretty open – when I started this particular blog in the first place I was interning at a publishing house, and though I used pseudonyms for everybody/everyplace in it, I was comfortable showing it to my bosses at the end of the summer because I was aware enough from my drama-filled LJ days that shiz spewed on the interwebs ALWAYS comes out eventually.

  96. On May 12th, 2011 at 10:06 am magpie Says:

    Now that you mention it, I love seeing your twitter feed on linkedin, which is the tightest ass bit of baloney ever.

  97. On May 12th, 2011 at 10:09 am Susan K. Proulx Says:

    I’ve been stalked, harrassed and slandered to my entire hometown, friends, employers and husband by a FORMER brother who I’ve been hiding from online. So I’m using a variation of my real name, and must say that hiding under a rock instead of being myself doesn’t suit me.

    If you can be you, do it all the way. Now that I’ve gained a bit of an online presence anyway, he’s free to again blog about my lifelong Kway-lude addiction or the fact that I’m on the most-wanted list.

    No one who matters would believe that about me anyway. And I’ve realized, he’s low, but I can squash him silly with the truth about him.

    So I’m thinking I’ll come out of the closet completely, let his slander fall where it may. Those who know me know the truth: I’m a good kid.

    I’m with you Aunt Becky. Also, you’re outrageously funny on twitter and even cooler here. I’ll be back! :=)

    Susan K. Proulx

  98. On May 12th, 2011 at 10:15 am Tracy Says:

    The initials-to-describe-family-members had me confused for some time. I figured out that DH was describing the husband, I just thought it meant Designated Hitter. I thought the wives were referring to their husbands as designated hitters. Ha. I’m so smart.

  99. On May 12th, 2011 at 10:38 am steph gas Says:

    i’m like half anonymous. like i post links to my blog on my facebook, which is full of friends i know IRL, yo. my bloggity name (steph gas, fyi) is like half of my real name. you might be able to guess that my first name is ‘stephanie’. i don’t put my last name because i really don’t like the idea of prospective employers in the future (if i ever decide not to own my own company anymore and need some jack, yo) seeing my blogs about drinking, taking tarzipan, and bothering my cats. if i google my real name, this shit don’t come up.

    i call my husband ‘awesome husband’ and refer to everyone else by things like ‘dad’ and ‘my brother’. i don’t really blog about like friends or anything because i’m a narcissistic whore. so. HOWEVER i don’t do the blurring people’s faces shit at all. but i do make sure they don’t mind me putting their faces on mah blogz.

    i don’t want to have to pretend – i’m all me on my blog. but i don’t want people to know my full last name because i’m kind of private like that. and awesome husband and i have already been the victims of identity theft on three occasions, so there’s that too.

  100. On May 12th, 2011 at 10:52 am The Mommy Therapy Says:

    I guess I blog under a title. What does that mean?

    I do use my real first name, Leslie, but don’t often put my last name because it’s so long and Greeky. Dadidakis

    I sort of feel like I’m easy to find anyway and I’m not hiding behind anything. I also use my kids real first names…which does creep me out sometimes because I often talk about how they annoy the hell out of me and I’m afraid some psycho is going to come and try to steal them because I don’t deserve them or something crazy like that.

    It looks weird because p and s shouldn’t reside next to one another.

    Orange air freshner? Actual fruit?

    Powdered anything is just creepy, regardless of how it tastes.

  101. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:03 am Becky Says:

    Well, CRAP.

    There can’t be two Beckys (Beckies?) on the internet? But I like being Becky.

    On the other hand, since you seem to have abandoned the “Imposter Becky” title, maybe that one is still up for grabs?

    I have a better thought. Maybe all the Beckys (Beckies?) can come forth and create a big band of Becky bloggers. We can choose the zebra approach – anonymity through sheer massive numbers. We can blog about whatever we want and then simply duck behind the backs of other Becky bloggers if we are ever worried about future employers. “Who, me? No, I didn’t blog about charging my husband for sex… that was that OTHER Becky blogger.”

  102. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:40 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I love this idea. We should be a FORCE of Becky’s. ALL OF US.

  103. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:50 am Tracie Says:

    I’m all out there with my real name (and non-blurred out pictures).

    I don’t have enough time in my life to try to think up cutesy nicknames for everyone and then remember those names for the rest of my life. Being real is just so much easier!

  104. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:02 pm John Says:

    I happen to be looking for a snarky writer who watches Cops and writes about her vagina. Would you happen to know anyone?

    As someone who decided to “reign in” just how out there he was, some of this has me absolutely giggling. I’ll say this, though, having your blog “out there” and linked to you makes having the super-sekret blog all that much easier to hide.

  105. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:34 pm VEG Says:

    I blog anonymously because my husband is in a public field of work, and I have been specifically told that I cannot reveal myself on my blog. Which chaps my ass, but I like being able to blog, and since they are not keeping me from swearing, being insanely inappropriate or otherwise censoring me, I guess I will keep it to VEG for now. Plus that’s how all my blogging friends who have become IRL friends refer to me. Plus plus it is hysterical to me that I have all these vegan followers now. Boy, are they in for a surprise.

  106. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:49 pm Theresa Says:

    I started out blogging anonymously, but I didn’t like it and I found it was helping me do what I wanted to do. I am no longer anonymous, but I don’t give out too many details about where I live or the names of my family members.

    I like it that way, its my space, my voice, my whore mouth can say what ever it wants. Although my dad reads it, so I try not to say things like “whore mouth”

  107. On May 12th, 2011 at 5:49 pm Kate Says:

    My blog os My name is Kate. Can’t get much more honest than that. Certain things I can’t talk about, being a military wife and all, but for the most part I am trying to give the public an open look into what it’s truly like to be an AF wife, knocked up, with a toddler, and dealing with a deployment.

    Honesty FTW!

  108. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:28 pm Suburban Snapshots Says:

    I could not be more with you on #3, I find it so jarring to have to read first initials or keep sorting out nicknames, especially being so drunk most of the time. I did get a little freaked when one post sent a huge spike in traffic to my previously quiet little blog, but I’ve since gotten over it.

  109. On May 13th, 2011 at 2:15 pm Mwa (Lost in Translation) Says:

    I try to be anonymous, but then blogger goes and published my real name just like that. Which is not fucking funny! I want to be a teacher in the future, and Belgian schools don’t mess about once they find out you’re on the internet saying you like gay porn, peeing in the shower, and talking about all things bum. Because the Catholics don’t have assholes, you see.

  110. On May 13th, 2011 at 2:32 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Blogger is an ASSHOLE.

  111. On May 13th, 2011 at 4:13 pm Issa Says:

    I am and I’m not. If I’d wanted to stay completely anonymous, I’d never of gone to BlogHer. Twice. Or been on a keynote. Shrug.

    I do it for two reasons. One, my step-mother is an insane crazy hose beast. Two…well I don’t put photos up and I use fake kid names, because my ex-husband wants it that way. And in reality the last thing I need is custody issues. I do use real names, just not their actual names.

    I know a lot of people who know my real name (Issa is a nickname that my family doesn’t use) and my kids names and I am completely fine with that. But my girls names are really google-able and I don’t want that. I did crack up at a friend at BH last year who thought my real last name was the one I use on Facebook. As in, she told the hotel that was my last name. I’ve known her for years.

  112. On May 14th, 2011 at 12:08 am Susannah Says:

    Hey! Just found this blog – Hilarious!! (and wow – the ‘real’ Becky sounds like a total bitch!!

    I use my real first name for blogging … but I’m not really trying to hide myself at all. I link to sites that have my real name so it wouldn’t be hard at all for people to figure out who I am. I used to be anonymous online but that was because I was in an abusive relationship and so was somewhat cautious. Nowadays I’m divorced and don’t really care if he does find me online!!

    The only reason I don’t use my full name on my blog is because I don’t especially want family finding it because I find I can write more freely that way. I don’t have too much privacy irl because I’m bedbound and have to have carers – so I choose to have that little bit of privacy online. 😉

  113. On May 14th, 2011 at 1:51 pm Penbleth Says:

    I use a pseudonym that everyone who knows me knows and then I go and tell everyone online my real name anyway. I’m an intellectual GIANT.

    My kids and my sister read my blogs as do some real life friends. I call Hub, “Hub” because he would kill me dead in a second if I used his real name, he’s not keen on social networking. The kids deserve their anonymity, so they get annually increasing digits. That gets tiring after a while.

    Really, what you see is what you get.

    Lynn McGinnis-Evans

  114. On May 14th, 2011 at 4:18 pm Denise Says:

    I guess I’m “sorta anonymous”. I use my first name but letters or dorky nicknames for everyone else. It was a way to appease my husband who wanted me to be a bit more anonymous. But I post pics and other things. I figure eventually I won’t be anonymous at all because if someone wants to find you or figure out who you are, they will.

  115. On May 15th, 2011 at 10:38 pm 10 Things I Love Today « Hamlet's Mistress Says:

    […] This post by Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka, because while I do post anonymously pretty much, I’m […]

  116. On May 16th, 2011 at 10:22 pm bronnie Says:

    I blog as me. For me, that keeps it honest and real, and means it’s also like a journal or memoir for my kids which they will have forever. There are certain very personal/legal things I can’t blog about, but if I ever feel the need to vent/share anything like that, there are no end of lovely bloggers willing to host those posts. But I don’t usually get around to it anyway.

  117. On May 16th, 2011 at 10:33 pm Tara Says:

    I’m all out there, baby.

  118. On April 23rd, 2012 at 10:43 pm Susan K. Proulx Says:

    Actually, everything my brother’s written about myself and our parents is true – they battered and broke four boys – broken children raising/breaking more broken children.

    And I should know, as I am one.

    Susan K. Proulx

  119. On August 23rd, 2013 at 2:59 am Andres Says:

    Ok, and why not having both? You can have two identities in the internet, ona can be the public youself but you may need being anonymous sometimes. So i think both its the best. Not everyone needs to know everything about you and all the info in the internet is accesible to anyone.

    Ah you know what is worse than the Spanish Inquisition? The North American Holocaust. Yes the way almost every native american was slayed.

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