Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Who Doesn’t Like Randomness?


*I’m thinking that it was a Very Bad Idea to have taught my children to call Anthony Bourdain “dad” when he comes onto the television. The therapy bills are making a nice “ching-ching” noise as they add up in my head.

*I don’t know why I cannot believe that something would go well for me. Although I’m not cutting my arms or ringing my eyes with black eyeliner, I feel much more pessimistic than usual. Is it a defense mechanism or am I a Debbie Downer?

*I find it nearly impossible to blog about going through bad times, yet I have no problem talking about the state of my unshaved bush. You know, the REALLY important stuff.

*In a stunning change, for the first time in well, forever, my hair is at it’s natural color. I got tired of the highlights, because on we black-haired ladies, it looks kinda funny. At least on me. My skin is dark and the blondness makes me look, well, green.

And you know what? I HATE it this dark black. I feel Goth.

*I think that the world would be a better place if everyone at some variation of the cheeseburger. This makes it doubly upsetting to learn that I cannot eat one right now, as they taste bad.

*The worst part about getting an US at my doctor’s office is that they don’t allow anyone to go back with you until they’ve done all they need to do. I find this incredibly stressful. Plus the US techs there tend to be pinheads.

Your turn, sweet reader. Your turn at randomness.

posted under I'm Big In Japan
43 Comments to

“Who Doesn’t Like Randomness?”

  1. On July 1st, 2008 at 2:43 pm kalakly Says:

    That’s b.s. and I’d be all over my doc like white on rice to at least let you have the husband there, just in case. Have him call your doc if you can’t and explain, AS IF it needs to explained, that for obvious reasons, you do not want to be alone in u/s room and to make you do so falls way below, like sewer below, any human decency or medical standard of care.

    Of course if you don’t want the husband there to keep the above mentioned state of the bush private, maybe just a really good girlfriend instead….


    Please update with GOOD news tomorrow asap, kay?

  2. On July 1st, 2008 at 3:02 pm Marie Says:

    Well, I named my son after an actor on a soap.

    I have curly hair and I hate it because I cannot leave the house feeling good about myself unless I used lots of product and some sort of heat device.

    I am on on cd 28 and feeling downright shitty about the world around me due to being in the tight rope called the 2ww.

    Random enough?

  3. On July 1st, 2008 at 3:06 pm kbreints Says:

    I chew my finger nails.

    I eat way to much Subway

    My boss likes to talk about the “world coming to an end”

  4. On July 1st, 2008 at 3:16 pm gingermagnolia Says:

    I’m a Debbie Downer, too, but I only blog about the bad stuff, I don’t tell most people in my real life.

    I’m naturally dark blonde, and when I got my hair highlighted, I hated it. I didn’t look right anymore.

    I’m left handed.

  5. On July 1st, 2008 at 3:29 pm Theramblinghousewife Says:

    i’ve colored my hair so much that I cannot remember what my natural color is.

    my child is a future vegetarian-nudist. he refuses to eat meat and prefers not to wear clothes.

    i work out daily but only get fatter.

    (the first two, I accept–but the last one truly perplexes me??)

  6. On July 1st, 2008 at 3:41 pm chris Says:

    I’m boring…Everything about me is predictable. I did give my pits and my breast hair a trim yesterday…I know TMI.

  7. On July 1st, 2008 at 3:58 pm Emily R Says:

    It is very hard to write about the hurtful, truly bad things. Much easier to write about the state of affairs down under.

  8. On July 1st, 2008 at 4:16 pm Deena Says:

    I need to remove my toe nail polish.

    Choopie slept in his crate all night long.

    My husband tried to hump me.

    I don’t want to turn 40!

    Are you coming to Houston with MM?

  9. On July 1st, 2008 at 4:23 pm Jerseygirl89 Says:

    Do you think my kids will need therapy because I call Anthony Bourdain “Daddy”?

    I have not liked my hair color in so long, I think I’m at the point I’ll never be satisfied.

    I need to trim my bush too.

  10. On July 1st, 2008 at 4:25 pm Heather Says:

    My fifteen-month-old is wildly contemptuous, strong-willed, and abusive (she smacked down the ped today for listening to her heart).

    I hate sweat. And humidity.

    Men with hammers will be at my house tomorrow.

    My dogs roll around in cow shit.

    Blond streaks don’t do it for me either.

  11. On July 1st, 2008 at 4:46 pm Milk Maid Says:

    I wish I could see my bush under my muffin top to shave it.

    And you should come to houston with me. I wanna hear more about Deena’s hot hubby trying to hump her and you are the kind of gal who can bring that out in people.

    My nipples have had their high beams on ALL freakin day.

  12. On July 1st, 2008 at 4:48 pm Milk Maid Says:

    Ok, my bush isnt under the muffin top- it’s DOWN there, somewhere, but it is not a part OF the muffin top. I wanted to clarify. Just in case.

    I talk about my junk too much.

  13. On July 1st, 2008 at 5:08 pm Painted Maypole Says:

    oh… the really hard things? the personal things? way too public, these blogs, even though very few IRL friends read it.

  14. On July 1st, 2008 at 5:51 pm ewe_are_here Says:

    They don’t let anyone attend your US with you from the beginning?!

    That is so wrong.

  15. On July 1st, 2008 at 5:58 pm Jenn Says:

    Hmmm, random???
    1. I have to go back to work tomorrow, and I’m dreading it.
    2. I haven’t shaved my legs in 3 months.
    3. I also need to trim my bush, although I’ve trimmed more recently than I have shaved said legs.
    4. I’m fvcking Matt Damon!~
    5. I think thats enough for today!

  16. On July 1st, 2008 at 6:21 pm Lola Says:

    I have sex dreams about Eminem and the guy who plays Sonny on General Hospital. I like some of Eminem’s music, but I’m NOT attracted to either one, so go figure.

    My bush is in pretty good shape right now.

    I’m an optimist in pessimist’s clothing.

    I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue.

    I can’t decide if I like my hair color. I think I need a tan.

    I like that new show Wipe Out. I so think I could win for some reason.

  17. On July 1st, 2008 at 6:35 pm Gail Says:

    I want to name my next son Duncan. But I’m afraid he’ll get teased about Dunkin Donuts. Especially if he has a weight problem.

    But then, I figured that round about high school, people would start calling him “Duncan No-nuts” and I can’t stop giggling about it.


  18. On July 1st, 2008 at 6:52 pm Wishing4One Says:

    smoked chicken on a sandwich is awesome

    water pipes filled with cantelope flavored tobacco are yummy

    why are there so many kids here?

    i hate idiot drivers

    waking up late and making espresso

    love aunt becky and she knows it

  19. On July 1st, 2008 at 6:54 pm Jenn Says:

    Pretty much everything irritates me. It’s THE WAY.

    They won’t let anyone back there with you? That bites. I would probably have complained A LOT and demanded they let him (or whoever) because they work for me and blah blah blah. I’m pretty bitchy when I’m pregnant. And when I’m not pregnant.

    I had black hair once. I’m extremely pale so I ended up with the nickname “Living Dead Girl” (a song of the same name happened to be extremely popular at the time… yeah). Then when it started growing out, because my natural hair color is uber-blonde, I earned myself the nickname skunk. Yeah, I was so awesome.

    My niece was born yesterday and I get to see her on Friday. I’m the best aunt ever. Other than you. 😉

  20. On July 1st, 2008 at 8:19 pm birdpress Says:

    Sorry to hear that you have been feeling down. Is it just because of the pregnancy hormones? I don’t know what that’s like but I would imagine it makes you moody. I’m irritable enough when I have PMS, I can’t imagine being pregnant.


    I don’t remember what Anthony Bourdain looks like.

    Unlike Lola, I don’t like Eminem’s music but I do find him oddly attractive.

    I’m not one to get crushes on famous people, but I think John Cusack is oddly attractive also.

    My bush is never overgrown only because I can’t stand body hair. I hate when J lets his get overgrown too.

    Um, yeah, TMI…

  21. On July 1st, 2008 at 9:01 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    Ultrasound techs are the same here… try being the one with the toddler hopped up on sugar in a waiting room answering “What is Mommy doing now?” eleventy million times. Give me someone silently probing my gut with a remote control.

    So, uh, random… my cat’s breath smells like cat food.

    (I don’t actually have a cat.)

  22. On July 1st, 2008 at 11:20 pm Ann Says:

    I too am Debbie Downer lately.

    Everything my husband says makes me want to kill him.

    I have a recent addiction to Haagen Daaz Cookie dough so my ass is now the size of Texas.

    My workplace can kiss my large rump.


    That was fun, thanky.

  23. On July 2nd, 2008 at 12:25 am trish Says:

    I saw your post today and thought, Oh! What a cool idea! But I couldn’t think of anything random…and then this evening happened and I’ve entitled it: My OCD Had a Flare-up:

    If you lived next door, I’d make you watch while I took shots. You could take shots of water and pretend it’s vodka.

  24. On July 2nd, 2008 at 12:26 am pamajama Says:

    I’ve never heard of not letting the husband in for the ultrasound. I do, however, remember how awful it was to have to drink all that stuff beforehand and then be told not to pee. I started to cry, like a big wuss.

    As for random, I’m totally freaked out by the chick above who said she wouldn’t put private stuff on a blog. Is there a reason I shouldn’t? Should I save it all for my obituary? I love those things, especially the 1 in a million that are well-written, but you don’t get much space in the paper. How would I write ALL my private space in a single column?

    I would never have a double column obit because I always think those people are incredibly self-important & it’s just a boring list of clubs & stuff.

    I think that’s enough random stuff . . .

  25. On July 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am Like Alcohol, But Better « Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin’? Says:

    […] do the walkin’ over to a new-ish favorite blog, Mommy Wants Vodka, to leave a comment in her post today about random stuff. And I came across this comment from Gail: I want to name my next son Duncan. But I’m afraid […]

  26. On July 2nd, 2008 at 1:37 am heather Says:

    I’m on a diet, but I just ate chocolate cake.

  27. On July 2nd, 2008 at 6:39 am Karen Says:

    Go get a wax. I think it will lift your spirits.

  28. On July 2nd, 2008 at 9:05 am Kymberli Says:

    Why wont those clothes over there in the corner fold themselves? Berry Cap’n Crunch would be really good right about now. I hope my dog is done puking. Maybe I should do something productive right now, like go back to sleep. I hope Becky will have a good appointment today.

    Thinking of you.

  29. On July 2nd, 2008 at 9:36 am b Says:

    I cannot sleep in the bed with my wife after she has an IUI, because I think I’ll get pregnant.

    I am unable to tell my college bff that i’ve gained weight because i’m embarrassed. This is why I wont send her a picture, or go see her.

  30. On July 2nd, 2008 at 9:38 am Calliope Says:

    too tired to be clever
    just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

  31. On July 2nd, 2008 at 9:58 am niobe Says:

    Okay, so I was (quickly) reading through your bullet points of randomness and said to myself, gee, I must be missing a fashion trend. ‘Cause I think Aunt Becky is the only person I know who highlights her, um, Tierra del Fuego.*

    Please tell me that I’m not the only person who thought this.

    *Yeah, I’m a total priss who can’t say bush. Wanna make something of it?

  32. On July 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am Kristine Says:

    I think the pattern they used on the bottom floor of the stairwell in my office building looks like they skinned a giraffe. I’m pretty sure that’s not the intension, and the colors aren’t right, but the shapes are there. I cannot stop thinking about it everytime I go down to check my mail.

  33. On July 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am Kristine Says:


  34. On July 2nd, 2008 at 11:28 am Kyddryn Says:

    I describe my hair as “hair colored”, it’s so nondescript. Well, except for the blue.

    I like cream cheese omelettes.

    There is a dinosaur on my chair. I am informed that when he roars, he is pooping. He roars a lot.

    I am watching a program on crop circles, and I swear it’s narrated by Principal Skinner!

    That’s as random as I get, today.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  35. On July 2nd, 2008 at 11:31 am PiquantMolly Says:


    -Much wearing of swimsuit this 4th of July weekend at family cabin situation. Serious bush trimming required, stat.

    -Have to drag my ass to Capitol Square to apply for residential parking permit. Already dreading it.

    -Leftover Minnesota Wild Rice Soup one of the most delicious things on god’s green earth.

    -This is already the longest day EVAH.

  36. On July 2nd, 2008 at 12:30 pm Momma's Tantrum Says:

    I have sex dreams about Bourdain all the time. It makes my husband mad when I tell him this.

    My kid is making me really pissy with his incessant whining.

    I get to see George Michael shake his ass tonight in person, and I might die from the anticipation.

    I am really good at getting incompetent boobs at OBGYN offices fired. If you need I can come smack some heads for you.

    Man, I am bitchy.

  37. On July 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm Sara Says:

    I am a natural blonde.

    I ignore my husband when Anthony Bourdain comes on the TV.

    My two year old thinks that blowing raspberries at people means she wins arguments.

  38. On July 2nd, 2008 at 1:11 pm Jessie Says:

    I have NO idea what my natural hair color is. (that kinda seems to be a trend)

    I have a compulsive need to know all aspects of everything going on around me, whether they directly affect me or not.

    I am very large chested and secretly love the attention that it gets me.

    Just right this minute a grape tomato from my salad dropped down my cleavage. I’m at my desk in the office and have left it there because I don’t want to be caught digging in my boobs. I like the attention, but not that much!!

  39. On July 2nd, 2008 at 1:59 pm mandy Says:

    My highlights are half grown out, literally down to my hears. The blonde has turned green because our well water has a blue deposit. Anyway, I was trying to figure out if I should go darker or what. I need some help! I hate green highlights mixed with my stupid brown, frizzy hair. Send a picture of yours! I also need a new cut, help me. This is my obsession of the day, can you tell?

  40. On July 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm magpie Says:

    I’m wearing a skirt for the first time in I can’t remember how long. I bought this particular skirt over a year ago and today is the first time it’s been out of the house.

    Which reminds me – I need to leave the house again.

  41. On July 2nd, 2008 at 9:57 pm Ti Says:

    I’m wondering right now which would be better..Oreos with milk or the last couple bites of Choc Chip ice cream.

    Wondering if anyone will noticed the chipped the paint on my toe nail. I ran over my own foot, with my own office chair, while sitting in it. Ouch.

    Wondering why my son’s hair looks like someone took an egg beater to it.

    I like this random stuff.

  42. On July 3rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm Nate Says:

    Nuts to cheesburgers. *BACON* makes everything taste better.

  43. On January 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 pm The Cream of the Crop - The Best Posts, Books, and Comments from 2008 « Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin’? Says:

    […] at Mommy Wants Vodka in a post about random stuff: I want to name my next son Duncan. But I’m afraid he’ll get teased about Dunkin Donuts. […]

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