Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

When Logic And Proportion Have Fallen Sloppy Dead


If you’re reading this in a reader, because you are a brilliant soul (Google Reader is not only my BFF but my lover and also, I would tongue kiss it if I could)(maybe some days I do)(shut UP), I’d ask you kindly to click through and see my fancy new design! It was done by the fabulous admin at Mommy Brained.

See, now, I know her REAL name, but unlike my stupid ass, she goes by “admin.” Intentional or not, I’m not positive. But she rules, and you really should check her out if you want a site design. And a laugh.

Along with my new design, I have decided that I am going to start my own (crappy) advice column, because the world needs to know more of my worthless opinions, right? (don’t answer that) On my sidebar, you will see a new page added “Go Ask Aunt Becky” and if you click on it, a page will open! Like delicious magic!

Your questions can be submitted directly through the site allowing for some degree of anonymity, because sometimes, shit the things I want to know aren’t really something I want attached to my good name.

The answers will air on Sundays (also known in my house as Post Secret Days) and any other time I feel the need to answer something rather than try and come up with a real, actual post.

(also, I’ve been trying to answer comments IN the comments. Because I win at LIFE.)

To answer the most burning and frequent questions that I will no doubt get, let me strike preemptively:

1) I’d guess that my sexy ass is a gift from God and genetics.

2) That rash on your crotch is scabies and no, I will not look at it.

You’re welcome.

69 Comments to

“When Logic And Proportion Have Fallen Sloppy Dead”

  1. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:12 am Sarah Says:

    LOVE IT.

    And your worthless opinions are exactly what this planet needs more of.

    And THIS is why I pay you to be my friend. Thank you.

  2. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:15 am Scattered Mom Says:

    Oooo I like your new design! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Oh hey, I’m giving away a pack of business cards on my blog. Pop on over and enter if you’d like some.

    Sweet ass!

  3. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:17 am Lauren Says:

    SQUEEEEEEEEE!! I lurve it! *HUMP*


  4. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:08 am Tawnia Says:

    Looks like you fell down the rabbit hole! Very Sweeet, I love it:)

  5. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:16 am Allie Bear Says:

    I love it and I can’t wait to read your first advice post.

    Hooray! I hope that I get some rock-n-roll questions.

  6. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:18 am Jayne Says:

    New design looks great and I’m sure your advice column will be a huge hit.

    I really, really hope that it’s fun and not scary.

  7. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:19 am Sara Says:

    Awesome! I can’t wait to have a question to ask you, since you won’t look at my crotch rash, damns it!

    (Sunday is Post Secret Day at my house too!)

    Good luck with the scabies.

  8. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:21 am Kim @ Beautiful Wreck Says:

    This is absolutely beautiful! I love it!

    She effing rules.

  9. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:22 am Melanie Says:

    Another great design! I love it. Also: you make me laugh so much! I almost don’t *need* vodka now that I’ve found your blog…

    Ha! There’s always room for vodkacuddly puppies.

  10. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:30 am heather Says:

    Love the new design, especially the subheading. Spelling is for nerds.

    Spelling is for pussies. Literally, I mean, like my cats.

  11. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:30 am MLorraine Says:

    Ooooooooooo. Preeeetty.

    Shiiinnnnyyy. I like it too.

  12. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:31 am Hilly Says:

    This design is just too swank for words.

    I’m kind of feeling unworthy of it now. Seriously.

  13. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:32 am pnjsmom26 Says:

    Great design! I live for Post Secret Day. Can’t wait to see the advice column. I’m sure I could use some Aunt Becky advice to make my life even more awesome.

    Awesome or awful, we’ll have to wait and see, right?

  14. On August 30th, 2009 at 10:52 am melanie Kerton Says:

    love the new design!

    Thank you! Me too!

  15. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:06 am Belle Says:

    Love it!!! And the advice column idea – you deserve some vodka!

    Aww, YEAH.

  16. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:08 am Brianna Says:


    But seriously. The Alice in Wonderland Goes Goth is awesome. I shall have to stalk this new person admin. (While wearing my “Some call it stalking, I call it LOVE” t-shirt. Oh yeah.)

    I’m mad, you’re mad, we’re all mad down here.

  17. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:20 am Ginger Magnolia Says:

    That Admin sure does make great designs, and yes, she is hilariously funny. Can’t wait to see what people ask!

    I’m alternating between being thrilled and slightly nervous. I’m not very smart and what if people ask GOOD questions. Not like, “where are my keys?”

  18. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:20 am Barbara Says:

    Very cool Gothish Wonderland.
    My shirt says “Some call it stalking. I call it nylons”

    Bwahahaha! Brilliance.

  19. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:38 am Kristin Says:

    Absolutely LOVE the new design.

    Why thank you! Me too!

  20. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:42 am Kate Says:

    Damn! I was going to ask how you got so sexy! But I guess you basically already answered that one…

    I was just born this way.

  21. On August 30th, 2009 at 11:48 am DG at Diaryofamadbathroom Says:

    Sounds like lots of fun. Is there a limit to the advice or will it run the gamut from – Advice on how to get rid of the cranky mailman’s body TO Can I make gorgonzola cheese using yak’s milk? Or are we going stricltly affairs of the heart, in which case, the mailman would not count as I never liked him.

    Anything you want to ask. I cannot promise that the answer will help in any way, shape or form, but I’ll try.

  22. On August 30th, 2009 at 12:18 pm a Says:

    Love the new design!

    ‘Fanks, yo!

  23. On August 30th, 2009 at 12:35 pm Sarah Says:

    The catepillar makes me giggle. It reminds me of the old Disney movie… yay for blatant drug use by animated characters in a children’s film! Walt Disney was never the most subtle of men… that aside, awesome redesign and I can’t wait to read the new column!

    Did you see that Tim Burton is making a new crazy looking Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp? I cannot wait.

  24. On August 30th, 2009 at 12:44 pm Mimi Says:

    Yeeeeeaaaaaaah BABY! You rock, Becks. Wait. Where the fuck are the nav buttons? What did I do wrong? SOS! Let me see if I can figure it out…


    Your parents must have hated you to name you “admin.”

  25. On August 30th, 2009 at 12:51 pm Wishing4One Says:

    This design is HoT man! Love it!
    I am so waiting for the new column, its gonna be the new hit of internet reading for sure. And possibly material for a book? David Letterman made a really stupid worthless book of facts didn’t he? But yours, now yours, will be chock full a shit that everyone needs to know.

    I am certain that all of the questions will solve ALL of our burning questions. Or, like my friend said above “something.

  26. On August 30th, 2009 at 12:52 pm cara Says:

    Love the new sight design.

    It may take me a little while to come up with a question worthy of your awesomeness (what if the rash is not on my crotch?)!

    Still scabies ๐Ÿ˜‰

  27. On August 30th, 2009 at 1:00 pm tiddlyompompom Says:

    nice new look lady! looking forward to reading your advice column – i am sure it will be informative and educational to all. or something.

    I’m going to guess that it will be “or something.” And that, my friend, is a-okay with me.

  28. On August 30th, 2009 at 1:03 pm Peet In Az Says:

    Kinda…. black.

    In’ it?

    especialy around the edges…

    It is. Do you think another color would work better? (I am colorblind)(stop laughing)

  29. On August 30th, 2009 at 1:18 pm Nel Says:


    I can’t wait to send you questions. So far, I have not come up with any that are worthy of you reading, but trust me, I will.

    I will look forward to it.

  30. On August 30th, 2009 at 1:21 pm Mustang Girl Says:

    Love, Love, Love the new design! Alice in Wonderland after a few cups of the Mad Hatter’s tea-flavored vodka (they make tea flavored vodka – really!)

    Anyway, I can’t wait to read your advice…and think of some questions to ask. If I had all the answers I wouldn’t have anxiety attacks (or need vodka on occasion)! ๐Ÿ™‚

    They really make tea-flavored vodka? That’s WILD. I’ve heard–but never tried–that someone makes bacon-flavored vodka. Which. EW.

    And I DO like bacon.

  31. On August 30th, 2009 at 1:22 pm Beautiful Mess Says:

    Kick ass design! She did a GREAT job! I wish I could do cool shit like that. No…wait, I don’t. Then I’d have to share my talent with the world and I’m WAY too lazy to do that.

    Scattered Mom is doin the biz card thing too?! Well shit! I’m gonna have to hurry up and break out the construction paper and glitter and make mine!

    I think this is a contest for winning business cards themselves. Either way, get crack-a-lacking, yo.

  32. On August 30th, 2009 at 2:29 pm Kate Says:

    Love your new design ~ it really “fits” you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    And cannot WAIT to read next Sunday’s advice! You are going to kick butt, I’m quite certain.

    I sure hope that you’re right. It should be fun. Although not as much fun as a barrel of monkeys. Whatever THAT means.

  33. On August 30th, 2009 at 2:40 pm Emma Says:

    Aaaw, you put an alice theme up on my twentyfifth birthday, how kind! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ first question for your collumn then- does being twenty five mean I am no longer a young mum and go I have to start behaving like a grownup? ๐Ÿ™ lol

    Wait, you have to act like a grown-up after 25? Hm. I missed that memo.

  34. On August 30th, 2009 at 3:30 pm Twitter Trackbacks for Mommy Wants Vodka ยป Blog Archive ยป When Logic And Proportion Have Fallen Sloppy Dead [] on Says:

    […] First Tweet 5 hours ago mommywantsvodka Aunt Becky Highly Influential Dude. You SO need to come check out my new design: view retweet […]

  35. On August 30th, 2009 at 3:35 pm Inna Says:

    I love the new design! Its awesome.

    And yeay for advice! I’ll start thinking up how to phrase my most dire questions.

  36. On August 30th, 2009 at 3:49 pm Melissa Says:

    The new design looks great, I love it!

  37. On August 30th, 2009 at 4:05 pm ZenMom Says:

    I LOVE the new design. Seriously LOVE it. ๐Ÿ˜€

  38. On August 30th, 2009 at 4:13 pm lydee Says:

    LOVE the new look!

  39. On August 30th, 2009 at 4:26 pm Cheryl Says:

    love the new look, but miss the archives option. I am new to your blog and would much rather read old posts and belly laugh than fold the mountain of laundry in my living room. HELP!

  40. On August 30th, 2009 at 4:27 pm Cheryl Says:

    crap. I found it. disregard. over and out.

  41. On August 30th, 2009 at 4:29 pm Sunny Says:

    Oooh, super cool new design. Dark and moody, but fun and whimsical!

  42. On August 30th, 2009 at 4:35 pm birdpress Says:

    I love the design too, and can’t wait to read your advice column!

  43. On August 30th, 2009 at 5:56 pm Mommy on the Spot Says:

    I love this design! I’m embarrassed to ask, but how did you do it? I just used one of the pre-fabed ones from Blogger.

    Cannot wait to see your advice column!

    I could never do this. It’s custom from a good friend. She does good work, eh?

  44. On August 30th, 2009 at 6:10 pm Cassie Says:

    I love it!

  45. On August 30th, 2009 at 6:18 pm Dani Says:

    LOVE the new design. I want a notebook design for my site. Great job!

    Why thank you!

  46. On August 30th, 2009 at 7:31 pm amber Says:

    This is absolutely fantastic. I love how you managed to still incorporate the notebook design…nothing similar about our sites anymore (what, me, jealous? naw…).

    I hear they’re doing another design upgrade for the notepad chaos. Maybe it will be easier to work with. That’s my complaint with that design. It was clunky. But shit, it was FREE. Which is ALWAYS better than paying.

  47. On August 30th, 2009 at 7:24 pm Krissa Says:

    Oooooh. Shiny and new, I like it! Now, besides needing lottery numbers I gotta think of some good questions… Hummmm.

  48. On August 30th, 2009 at 7:25 pm Holli Says:

    I love post secret too! Your advice + Post Secret= a little slice of internet heaven.

    Oh, Post Secret is the best. I got one of their books for Christmas and as soon as I can have a coffee table without a puppy laying atop it, I’m putting it out. It’s amazing.

  49. On August 30th, 2009 at 7:35 pm MK Says:

    Where are the f’n sunshine and rainbows?


    At the bottom of a vodka bottle?

  50. On August 30th, 2009 at 7:36 pm MK Says:

    p.s. I’ve submitted to post secret. it’s SUCH a thrill to see your secret!

    You know what is depressing? I don’t have a single titillating secret to tell them.

  51. On August 30th, 2009 at 7:49 pm Jasmine Says:

    Sunday is known as “Post Secret” day at my house too.

    How happy would I be if that was EVERY day?

  52. On August 30th, 2009 at 8:58 pm Westcoast Weirdo Says:

    *LOVE* the new look!!! Holla!!


  53. On August 30th, 2009 at 8:05 pm Sassejenn Says:

    The RSS feed button in the Drink Me bottle? Effing genius. Love it!

    Isn’t she amazing? I about died with glee when I saw that.

  54. On August 30th, 2009 at 8:25 pm Peet In Az Says:

    “Do you think another color would work better?”

    Heavens no… I was just used to the other color. When my screen went black in the beginning, I got nervous.

    What was the other color?
    (ok…so I’m old…)(What?)

    (I am too) It was kind of a teal color. Very pretty, but I don’t think it would go with this design.

  55. On August 30th, 2009 at 9:36 pm linzm0 Says:

    And yes, I am a dude. In the, uhm, creepy internet acutally-a-lady sense. Yeah.

    Me too! Hooray!

  56. On August 31st, 2009 at 6:50 am SciFi Dad Says:

    FYI: in-line linking works on page (here) but in my feed reader (Google Reader) the redirect 404s. This applies to in-site and off-site linking. (If you don’t understand what I’m saying, copy and paste this comment to your admin.

    Copy, paste, sent to The Daver. Thank you.

  57. On August 31st, 2009 at 6:50 am SciFi Dad Says:

    Oh, the feed I’m subscribed to is RSS2.

  58. On August 31st, 2009 at 7:41 am Kendra Says:

    I love the new design! When I first saw it, I just got an impression of overall, graphic awesomeness. Then I caught on to the “Drink Me,” and I adore it! Years ago, I heard Sara Vowell describe how, in the course of trying hang out with a group of hard-core goths, she realized that she was the rare “pink goth.” Perhaps this is a well-known concept, but she’s the first person I ever heard of articulate it. That’s what your layout makes me think of! The cutesiness and the creepiness of everything at once. Does that not sound like a compliment? It’s supposed to!

    That’s a total compliment, yo. I love the RSS button!

  59. On August 31st, 2009 at 8:05 am daisybv2 Says:

    Love love love the new digs!!! I am also stoked about the the new site.

    Can’t wait Yo!

    This Sunday should show Advice Column Numero Uno. Woot!

  60. On August 31st, 2009 at 9:05 am Lola Says:

    Very cool design, ladies!


  61. On August 31st, 2009 at 8:06 am Vinomom Says:

    I am loving the new site design. I will be submitting very important questions for you to answer soon. Great job! (And I just adore my google reader as well. I pretty much adore all things google. Except Blogger. I really miss WordPress.

    I cannot wait to get your questions (although I will not know it is you unless you say so). You like WordPress better? Why? Blogger seems so…easy to use!

  62. On August 31st, 2009 at 10:48 am moonspun Says:

    Very nice… I wish I had even a modicum of design talent…ah well…can’t have everything!

    Exactly! You cannot be both. This is what I reassure myself with when I am achingly jealous of other people’s talent where I have none.

  63. On August 31st, 2009 at 11:44 am Caroline Says:

    I frickin’ love it. Awesome sauce.

    Thank you! I’m pretty proud.

  64. On August 31st, 2009 at 12:40 pm Mrs Soup Says:

    You are totally my hero.

    LOVE the new design, especially since now it won’t throw me off when I find other blogs that have your old one. This is so incredibly you!

    I know! Every time I clicked on a blog with this template I was shocked to NOT see my name on it.

  65. On August 31st, 2009 at 3:21 pm Suzy Voices Says:

    Love it!! Alice in Wonderland is my favorite book!

  66. On August 31st, 2009 at 4:19 pm Katie Says:

    Ooooooh, me likes! Very nice.

  67. On August 31st, 2009 at 9:14 pm Antropologa Says:

    All good news.

  68. On September 4th, 2009 at 11:28 am mumma boo Says:

    Love it! I know, I know, I’m just catching up. Sue me. No, wait, don’t.

  69. On May 11th, 2013 at 4:49 pm steel targets for shooting 9mm Says:

    When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service?
    Thanks a lot!

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