Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

What Would The Internet Do?


I’m not feeling a post today, dog, primarily because I’m going over to Steph’s parents house today to see them, and I’m not really looking forward to it. Mainly because I’m going to pull up and weep like a baby that she’s not here anymore and it will be cemented in my brain that maybe, just maybe SHE’S REALLY NOT COMING BACK.

Methinks that I’m still in denial.

Grief fucking sucks.

And as it’s been well documented (by myself and I would NEVER lie about myself), I have OCD and cannot go a day without throwing some sort of drivel out there.

So I present to you, Sweet Internet (have I told you that your butt looks hot in those pants? Because it totally does), another edition of Aunt Becky Asks The Internet:

1) Let’s say you have been invited to one of those in-home parties, A Pampered Chef, Candle Party or some such other thing, and you dislike them on principle, figuring that if the host needs money so badly, you’d rather cut THEM a check rather than buying useless crap that you don’t want in the first place. Expensive crap. PLUS, the whole thing chafes your balls a bit.

Do you:

a) RSVP and tell them you’re unable to make it.

b) Go begrudgingly because you think it’s the Right Thing to do and buy some crap you don’t want.

c) Blow off the whole thing because you find it rude.

d) Other

2) Let’s again say that you have an old engagement ring from a previous relationship that you’ve held onto for years, not because it has sentimental value, but because you don’t know what else to do with it. It’s a teeny thing (maybe 1/4 carat) white gold and diamond (solitare) and you don’t really want it, but don’t know where to sell it because you have no idea what size diamond it is (you have no paperwork for it) and it cost maybe $400 brand new.

Do you:

a) Sell it on eBay and give the proceeds to someone/thing that needs the money more than you.

b)Make jewelry out of it, even though it’s teeny tiny and not something you particularly want to cherish and love.

c)Toss it on the street and hope that someone picks it up and uses it for, well, SOMETHING.

2b) IF you’re planning on selling aforementioned ring, how does one do so?

a) eBay

b) Pawn Shop

c) Random Stranger

d) Other

3) If you read blogs often do you:

a) Comment religiously

b) Comment ONLY when you have something to say

c) Lurk in the shadows because you’re afraid of the big, bad, blog writer.

d) Other

4) What is UP with blogs that have product review posts? Anyone get it? I sure don’t. I mean that, I really don’t understand how that works, I’m not just being a bitch here (and no, I’m not contemplating doing so).

5) BlogAds (not because I’m looking or anything, just curious):

a) Do they actually pay anything?

b) Do they annoy you because it takes ages to load the page?

c) Do you not give a flying fuck about them?



Wish me luck today. I am so freaked out right now.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

posted under Cheaper Than Rehab
20 Comments to

“What Would The Internet Do?”

  1. On April 3rd, 2008 at 11:47 am Ames Says:

    I agree with you – grief totally sucks. I’m sorry that you are feeling the way you are, I wish that there was something I could say to make you feel better, but having been in this situation before, I know that there really isn’t. So instead, I’m sending lots of virtual hugs your way. I hope that your visit with Steph’s parents goes well even though you are sort of dreading it.

    And now onto the questions…

    1) I would RSVP and say I was unable to make it (I’ve actually done this many MANY times and it’s the best way out that I’ve found)

    2a & 2b) I would sell the ring on Ebay and give the profits to someone/something that needs the money more than I do. I would possibly bring it to a jeweler and find out the size of the diamond/what it is worth before putting the auction up on ebay

    3) I’m a religious commenter on the blogs that I read on a daily basis. If I just happen upon a blog I only leave a comment if I have something noteworthy to say.

    4) I’m in the dark on this one too…

    5) From what I’ve heard from other people they only pay pennies at a time and aren’t worth it unless you have a TON of traffic on your site. I personally don’t pay much attention to them, but I am annoyed when there are so many that it takes 5 years to load the page.

  2. On April 3rd, 2008 at 11:56 am Kirsten Says:

    1) If it is a friend I love or want to help (like someone who would be too proud to take a check), I would go and buy a token and give it to someone else. If annoying friend, RSVP not coming.

    2) Sell it on ebay and use the money on something nice for yourself! That was the original intention from the person who gave you the ring, that you would benefit from it in some way. You will get the satisfaction of knowing some lucky girl who might not otherwise have gotten an engagement ring is getting your used one.

    3) ebay is awesome

    4) I only comment when I have something to say ๐Ÿ™‚ I love your blog and really enjoy reading it!


  3. On April 3rd, 2008 at 11:58 am baseballmom Says:

    I think almost all of my answers are the same as Ames’…
    1. Unable to make it, and i’ve done it lots of times
    2. Take it to a jeweler and find out the worth, then either sell it on ebay or find a store near you that purchases jewelry–not a pawnshop, because they rip you off big time.
    3. I comment almost always on the blogs that I like, and if I have something to say on others, unless I’m in a hurry and forget to come back later and comment!
    4. I HATE the product reviews, and will only do one if it’s something I find and love, and want to tell someone about–not for a company or money–it’s not worth it to annoy my few readers!
    5. Ditto to Ames’ answer.

    I admire you for going to see her parents, and I bet you’ll come out of it glad that you went. Good luck!

  4. On April 3rd, 2008 at 11:59 am paisana Says:

    1) B, but find it incredibly rude and tedious the ENTIRE TIME YOU’RE THERE and gossip viciously about it later.
    2) D, take it to a reputable jeweler and see if they can match the diamond into diamond stud earrings
    3) B, but I read them religiously
    4) D, I don’t read them

  5. On April 3rd, 2008 at 12:02 pm Tombo Says:

    1) C
    2a) A
    2b) A
    3) B
    4) Written by people who spend a lot of time on the internet READING reviews, and not finding reviews that they like.
    5) C

  6. On April 3rd, 2008 at 12:05 pm Kristen Says:

    I am thinking of you today, beautiful.

    1) I am probably not the person to ask, I tend to go to the parties. but worse, if I love the product, I almost always buy a kit and sign up. Cuz it’s such a great deal! But then I am too embarrassed (because everyone hates those parties) to ask my friends to a party to make any money for my business. So far I have joined Amway, Discovery Toys, Usborne books (love!!!!), Mary Kay and Heritage Makers (also love!) I totally suck.

    2) sell

    3)Complicated. Blogs that I read every day, I try to comment on every day, I find something to say:). Especially if they comment at my place often or I just plain care about the writer. Sometimes I just run out of time. There are some in my blog reader that I love to read, but don’t have a relationship with the writer and only comment on when I have something to contribute.

    4 and 5, no idea.

  7. On April 3rd, 2008 at 12:40 pm magpie Says:

    1 A
    2 A – though i might try a local jeweler instead of ebay.
    3 A or B – depending on how much time i have.
    4 I review books sometimes just for fun.
    5 C

    Good luck seeing your friend’s parents.

  8. On April 3rd, 2008 at 12:49 pm andria Says:

    1. C, unless hostess calls me the night before to inquire of my whereabouts and then I’d not answer the phone, but if stupid husband answers the phone requiring me to speak with hostess, then I have something to do that night. But mostly, C.
    2. None of the above. Give it your stepneice to have fun with and impress her teenage friends. Now, if it were worth A LOT of money. Of course if said guy ever comes wanting it back, be sure to glare at him menacingly and tell him you flushed it.
    3. do you greensheet?
    4. I comment when I have something to say. Lots of times I have tons to say but I’m holding a sleeping baby in my arms and haven’t figured out how to type with one hand yet.
    5,I like the product reviews if it’s for something I might actually buy.

    Good luck today.

  9. On April 3rd, 2008 at 1:44 pm Amy Says:

    I am sure today is going to be hard and yes, denial is one of those parts of grieving! It does suck! I’m so sorry that she’s not here with you anymore and I hope that by being with her parents you can find some peace. I wish you luck in all that you do today!

    Answers to questions!:
    1.) B
    4.)A – now if they pay something yes, I guess I might get it but I don’t know! They take so long to load the page but then again, like I said if they pay to a good cause there’s the difference (or there’s the BEEF!)

  10. On April 3rd, 2008 at 1:49 pm Natalie Says:

    1. a I’d just tell them I’m not coming.

    2. a Sell, ebay or pawn shop or wherever.

    3. a and b. I comment if I have time to, or if I really want to say something. Or like now, when I’m avoiding cleaning my house.

    4. no freaking clue.

    5. I usually ignore them.

    Good luck today. I’m facing the same thing… my mom’s arriving tonight and I know it’s just going to make me break down and feel like shit thinking about how he’s gone.

  11. On April 3rd, 2008 at 2:14 pm Heather Says:

    1) D. Other – go, eat the free food, buy nothing

    2) A

    2b) Ebay

    3) B

    4) No idea.

    5) sometimes, yes, and no, I don’t

    I hope everything goes well!!!

  12. On April 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 pm c. Says:

    I am big on denial. I don’t think enough people see the benefits of it. Good luck.

    As for your questions:
    1. b
    2a. a
    2b. a
    3. a
    4/5. ?

  13. On April 3rd, 2008 at 8:06 pm CLC Says:

    I hope it went ok today. Grief blows.

    I answered ‘a’ to everything. Don’t go all Cosmo on me and tell me that means I am destined to greatness or some other cockamamy shit. Can you tell I am in a pissy mood?

  14. On April 3rd, 2008 at 8:36 pm Jerseygirl89 Says:

    I hope today was alright. Or that you’ve at least got a class of wine right now.

    1. a
    2. a (except when I did this, I kept the money – I was broke)
    2b b (it wasn’t a lot of money)
    3 a (I feel guilty if I don’t comment. I’m weird)
    4 c – I’m all about bloggers making money.

  15. On April 3rd, 2008 at 10:10 pm theramblinghousewife Says:

    1. Show up and buy lots of unnecessary crap (Why? Because I’m cool like that.

    2. Sell the ring on Ebay and keep the proceeds (perhaps to have money for the Pampered Chef Party?)

    3. Comment religiously to my favorite blogs (hint, hint, wink, wink)

    4.Don’t know a thing about blog reviews nor blog ads and really could care less! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Anything else? Whach’ got??

    This was fun! Great idea, Aunt Becky!

  16. On April 3rd, 2008 at 11:14 pm Karen Says:

    most importantly never stay home when it is a sex toy party. Also, I had the ring made into a earrings and solitare necklace.

  17. On April 4th, 2008 at 12:44 am Kyddryn Says:

    I’m sorry you’re hurting.

    1) You RSVP and decline the invitation. That’s all etiquette requires of you, and hopefully the hosts are too busy to (rudely) grill you about why you can’t attend. If you think they really, truly need the money, send it to them in an anonymous birthday card or something.

    2) If the man left the woman, the ring is then hers to do with as she pleases. If it isn’t an heirloom, then there’s no reason to keep it. I’d spring the fifty bucks or so to have it appraised and then either sell it and put the money towards something that supports my new relationship, or sell it and give the money to support a cause that is deeply important to me. You could sell it to a pawn shop for less than half the appraised value, or sell it on eBay for whatever you list it at (or, hopefully, more) some jewelers will buy rings, too, as long as you’re willing to fill out the “I promise this isn’t stolen” paperwork.

    3) I only comment if I think I can add to the conversation, and usually the first comment on a new blog terrifies me – I always worry that it may not be welcome. Sucks being the new kid.

    4) I might talk about a product that I like because I like it, but I wouldn’t know how to do a proper review. Mostly, I just natter on about the stuff I like and maybe post a link off to the side. Who knows, maybe that’ll change, but I don’t think so. I’m good with putting the links in the sidebar and letting nature take its course. I think some folks do reviews because they enjoy the product and want to hook their readers up with something useful. Nothing like a new convert!

    5) OK, guilty – I have ads at the very bottom of my blog page…but I really need the two cents a month they generate to pay for my medicine!! Hey, if someone is feeling benevolent and they click so I get that eighth of a cent, bless ’em. If they don’t, c’est la vie. Sometimes, the ads are fun – they try to match what I’m writing about – which means they are often a tad schizophrenic! Whee!

    I wish you retroactive luck with the day – I hope it went…well, you know…that it went.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  18. On April 4th, 2008 at 7:02 am MsPrufrock Says:

    Since I’m late with this (as usual), I hope your visit went as well as it could have.

    1) Don’t know an answer, as, praise jesus, people don’t have that kind of thing here really. Lucky escape, this whole expat thing.

    2) a – specifically for the UTERUS brigade fun mentioned on my blog as well as the blogs of a few others I won’t link to because I’m too lazy to do the legwork. However, that’s a big donation to make and you might want to do family things with it. Say, a nice day out or some such.

    3) Sensitive matter for me at the moment since my comments are practically non-existent. How does one go from an average of 20ish comments to only a few in a matter of 5 posts? Come to my blog and find out! I try to comment regularly on most of the blogs I read, but I admit that I generally don’t unless I have something relevant to say. :::cough::: HYPOCRITE!

    4) Product reviews sometimes make people money, so more power to them. I don’t really read them, mainly because I’m so avant garde or whatever.

    5) As you know, I’m all for ads, but I do hate them when they slow everything down, or there are too many. That’s the primary reason I like BlogHer ads (PIMPIN’), because they look nice, they don’t flash or blink, and there is only one large-ish one. I know they don’t earn much money for me since my traffic isn’t huge (weep), but hey, anything I can accumulate to give away is a good thing to me.

    Phew. I’m tired now.

  19. On April 5th, 2008 at 10:22 am As American as Apple Pie Says:

    I hope your meeting with Steph’s parents went well. I am sure you feel much better afterwards for having gone. Here are my answers.

    1. Go and buy stuff. I am the kind of freak that loves these things. Especially b/c there is usually really good food and I’m all about eating. I also used to sell Pampered Chef and totally love their products.

    2. I’d totally make jewelry out of it or sell it and buy something fabulous for myself.

    3. I comment religiously on the blogs that I read daily, when I have time. Damn job and kids keep getting in the way. Doc says it’s only a matter of time before I have my own blog, but really, what would I write about? If I’m just cruising around, I will comment if something strikes my fancy.

    4 & 5. Because we have them on YJKOBT I know that they are supposed to pay out, but it is measley! Definitly not retirement fund. It doesn’t annoy me, I don’t pay attention to it.

    That was fun! Looking forward to more.

  20. On April 5th, 2008 at 12:07 pm Leslee Says:

    Um… Let’s see… With the party thing, sometimes I go and sometimes I don’t. I almost always say I’m gonna go and intend on going, but I damned near always forget. Almost every one who knows me knows that my memory has gone to shit since being put into menopause this summer, so I’m usually forgiven.

    The ring? Unless you know how to haggle with a pawn shop, I think your best bet will be to either use EBay or sell it to a friend. When my ex-husband pawned my engagement and wedding band (about 6 months before I left him cuzz he “needed cigarettes”) he got maybe $60 for both. That was complete bullshit cuzz while the wedding band wasn’t all that expensive, the engagement ring was about $2000.

    I typically only comment when I feel like I have something to say and there are blogs where I’ve only ever commented once or twice. I get anxious about leaving comments sometimes. The only thing I can come up with is that I’m a wee bit off somewhere. Mayhaps I am socially retarded? ESPECIALLY on the intarwebs?

    I don’t particularly get product review posts (unless they are there for the funny, like Manny (hispanic at the dicsco) did with the energy drink things. I think I have an ad on my blog, but I did that just to see if I would get any clicks. Hell, both gas and cigarettes are expensive these days and that little check I might get means I could choose between a pack of cigarettes or a gallon of gas. So get to clicking! ๐Ÿ˜›

    I hope your visit went well. I’ve had a few friends pass, but never visited their homes after. I can’t begin to imagine how hard that must be.


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