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And Whispered To Her Neighbor, “Winter is Dead.”


It took me by surprise.

In part, I’m certain, because I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for three months running (which, I should add, always gives me the delightful impression of a severed human torso running around with feathers stuck in it’s puckered pooper)(you’re welcome), and in part because I’m readjusting to my new life.

Lemmie back up, for those of you not playing along at home: the weather here in Chicago is one of two seasons:

1) Ass hot

2) Ass cold

3) Construction

(I wasn’t so good at mah maths)

Collectively, we refer to them as “ass” which, in a nutshell, is accurate but couldn’t be farther from the truth of what Chicago really is. We’re a great city, we love our cheeseburgers, passionately cheer for our favorite sports teams (North SIIIIIDDDDEEE) whether they’re winning or not, and we’re a loyal bunch. It may take time to win us over, but once you have, we’re yours for life.

Which is why we all still live here, despite the temperatures fluctuating from ass to, well, ass.

The winter had been mild, as far as Chicago winters go, until the endless snow began in January. And February. Then March, that wily whore, decided to get in on the snow action. In April, naturally, the rains came.

I should stop to mention that the only reason I noted the rain was because I have moved from higher ground to on the motherfucking river (not, I should clarify, to be confused with “Rolling on the River” because I’m pretty sure that the Fox River is not the river of which Ike and Tina sang), which, naturally, is in a valley, which means that when the river gets high, my pooper puckers alarmingly. In the six months I’ve lived here, I have to admit that I’ve grown quite fond of the FBI Surveillance Van and would, therefore, hate to see it underwater.

I should’ve been annoyed today. My i(can’t)Phone was broken, which meant that the fancy whoodilly on my dashboard that allows magical gnomes to play my digital music over my radio would not be working. Which left me with two radio stations: The Badger* and some SUPER Christian station that’s always damning someone or another to hell. While occasionally amusing, I was running late for therapy because while blogging is SORTA like therapy, therapy is pretty awesome and allows me to flex my narcissistic muscle for upwards of an hour.

It had been a long day in Not Chicago, and while it was a good one, I was annoyed that I’d let myself do “just ONE more thing” before realizing it was time to scoodledoo, and OMG if I’m late, I’ll probably FAIL or something *whines* and and and and

That’s when it hit me.

Instead of being annoyed by the mountains of “white” snow, which I call “Chicago white” because they’re grungy and gross by April flanking the country road I take home, I was smacked in the face.

The world, well, it had woken up.

I cracked my window, preparing for some sort of weather incident in the car (I was imagining tornado, but it’d have probably been an ice storm, just for kicks), just because, well, obviously, and there it was. The wind blew into my car, smelling of fresh earth and new beginnings, reminding me, once again, why I pink puffy heart springtime in Chicago: the possibilities that yawn before us truly are endless.

The farmland that follows my merry way home had somehow transformed – where there had, just yesterday, been miles of yawning Chicago White sludge, I could see vast acres of green miles into the distance, peppered occasionally by crisp red barns. The robins, fluffy and fat on the earthworms the rains had dredged up looked fatter, more healthy and more determined than I’d seen them in many years.

An endless parade of people seemed to exit their homes to busy themselves, helping their bit of earth to wake up and coax their flowers into blooming, all of us pasty white from this unbearable, endless winter. They stood as I drove by, hands in the air, waving hello. I waved back like a lunatic, probably preventing them from ever attempting to wave at any stranger, ever, but I could tell they felt it, too.

The world was waking up.

The endless winter had, at long last, passed.

And the possibilities, well, they are endless.

*I can’t make this shit up.

11 Comments to

“And Whispered To Her Neighbor, “Winter is Dead.””

  1. On April 16th, 2013 at 9:03 pm @Vickyy_82 Says:

    RT @mommywantsvodka: And Whispered To Her Neighbor, “Winter is Dead.”

  2. On April 16th, 2013 at 9:19 pm Lovelyn Says:

    Great to see a new post. I’m in Florida and the weather here is just hot and hotter. We’re approaching the hotter months now so instead of going outsides people are retreating indoors to the air-conditioning.

  3. On April 16th, 2013 at 10:42 pm Kristin Says:

    I’m so glad spring has sprung and the possibilities are so wide open.

    I love spring with the one big exception of the damned pollen. It’s a real bitch.

  4. On April 16th, 2013 at 10:50 pm jeri Says:

    I just saw the first bud on a tree today and I may have peed myself Afrom excitement. And also seeing you back. <]

  5. On April 16th, 2013 at 10:50 pm The Comedy Ninja (@ComedyNinja) Says:

    And Whispered To Her Neighbor, “Winter is Dead.”

  6. On April 16th, 2013 at 10:57 pm Marta Says:

    All I know is that I will definitely take the rain over the snow. Plus, I just bought new rain boots which inevitable means that the moment they arrive it will never rain again. You can thank me for that when the sun comes out.

  7. On April 17th, 2013 at 12:01 am Grace Says:

    That gives me so much hope! We’re still stuck in January apparently out here. I’m hoping if Chicago is finally seeing spring, maybe ours is on the way.

  8. On April 17th, 2013 at 11:21 am Becky Says:

    Congratulations! Both on the weather and on Spring re-entering your life 🙂

  9. On April 17th, 2013 at 11:31 am Jaime Says:

    I love that first day of spring … when the day before you swear it was still brown and gross and bleak.. and then next it’s blooming and green and bright!

  10. On April 17th, 2013 at 3:27 pm Roxie Says:

    Don’t you get The Drive or The River? What about AM? You have to at least get WGN, WLS, WIND and WBBM!

  11. On April 17th, 2013 at 4:08 pm Erin Margolin (@ErinMargolin) Says:

    And Whispered To Her Neighbor, “Winter is Dead.”: It took me by surprise. In part, I’m ce… via @MommyWantsVodka

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