Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

What Happens In Vegas


Me (hobbling out of the bathroom 5-weeks post-abdominal surgery): “Oh my God.”

(flops on bed)

Me: “I shouldn’t have showered.”

Mandi: “Yeah.”

Me: “What are we watching?”

Mandi: “A documentary on hot dogs.”

Me: “Oooh! I’ve seen this before.”

(crawls under covers)

(silence ensues)

(time passes)

Me: “What the hell time is that party tonight?”

Mandi: “I dunno. Six? Seven?”

Me: “But we need to finish this show.”

Mandi: “Yeah. But you’ve seen it before.”

Me: “It was that fucking good.”

Mandi: “Oh fuck yeah.”

Me: “Parties are bullshit. Let’s fucking stay here and watch this show.”

Mandi: “We have go.”

Me: “Yeah. YEAH. Fuck. I’m so comfy.”

Mandi: “We need to finish this documentary. Period.”

Me: “I wonder what’s up next?”

Mandi: “Ooooooh! A documentary on Amelia Earhart.”

Me: “Let’s order room service, yo.”

Mandi: “Okay.”

Me: “We know how to PARTY.”

Mandi: (makes sign of the horns) “FUCK YEAH.”

13 Comments to

“What Happens In Vegas”

  1. On June 24th, 2011 at 9:44 am Jana A Says:

    In the ajoining room, Jana is watching the Heisman awards on ESPN like a dude.

  2. On June 24th, 2011 at 10:17 am Heather Says:

    Excellent idea! Sometimes you just have to veg!

  3. On June 24th, 2011 at 10:23 am SFD Says:

    A hot dog documentary? Is that code for porn?

  4. On June 24th, 2011 at 10:54 am Neeroc Says:

    I really need to lay off huffing white board markers. I can’t tell if I went back in time 9 months, you don’t know what city you’re in (and had more surgery?), you had a random post burble to the top of the posting pile or you’re rockin’ it hard at Type A (vajazzled beav and all) and this was just study in contrast.

    Or I may need more coffee.

  5. On June 24th, 2011 at 4:30 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahahaha. I was reminded of this day when I ran into Mandi here at Type A Mom.

  6. On June 24th, 2011 at 10:57 am Beth Says:

    I’m not gonna lie, one of my favorite parts of vacation is chilling on a comfy bed in a strange place with no one bugging me and nothing in particular to do. Screw parties. Big fluffy comforters and bad TV are where it’s AT.

  7. On June 24th, 2011 at 11:01 am katrina Says:

    Fuck Yeah! Sounds like my kind of vacation.

  8. On June 24th, 2011 at 12:46 pm Amber LaShell Says:

    This is why I don’t go to vegas.. I would much rather just stay in the hotel room watching movies than be out partying… You rock!

  9. On June 24th, 2011 at 8:25 pm Erin@MommyontheSpot Says:

    Please tell me that you will be willing to recreate this party scene at BlogHer and be ever-so-kind to invite me.

  10. On June 24th, 2011 at 8:43 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Um. DUH. That’s TOTES on the calendar.

  11. On June 24th, 2011 at 8:50 pm ChiMomWriter Says:

    I’m with Beth. I have lied, even to my darling old grandmother, about dates I’m in town so I have a couple on my own with nobody and nothing but the crap I want to do – or not. (Sorry, Grandma.)

  12. On June 25th, 2011 at 12:31 pm Westcoast Weirdo Says:

    Yeah – sometimes the best ‘vacation’ is the one doing nothing 🙂

  13. On June 27th, 2011 at 6:41 am John Says:

    Vegging is totally underrated.

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