Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

What A Difference A Week Makes…


Last Friday, I was sitting here at my Mac marveling at the positive pregnancy tests that I had in my pockets as sort of a good luck charm. I’d pull them out, smile to myself the kind of “I have a delicious secret” smile and put them back in my pocket. Occasionally, I’d pat my pocket to reassure that yes, indeed the test was really real.

And here I sit, one week later, having thrown out all of my pregnancy tests and feeling…empty. Just so very empty.

Happy Mother’s Day, indeed.

29 Comments to

“What A Difference A Week Makes…”

  1. On May 9th, 2008 at 2:17 pm birdpress Says:

    I’m sorry you are sad. That must be a really difficult thing to go through, especially this time of year.

  2. On May 9th, 2008 at 2:19 pm honeywine Says:

    Ditto, honey, ditto.

  3. On May 9th, 2008 at 2:33 pm DD Says:

    How do you let go of all those possibilities, even if they were around for just moments?

    Trust me, you don’t.

  4. On May 9th, 2008 at 2:40 pm Sillycakes Says:

    Ah, Becky, I’m so very sorry.

  5. On May 9th, 2008 at 2:53 pm Heather Says:

    This really makes me want to hug you, or send you cake or something.

    I am so sorry. I’m glad you’re letting yourself be a little sad about it though. As much as I’d like people not to be sad, I think it is SO important to acknowledge loss or you’ll go crazy.

    I will be thinking of you this weekend.

  6. On May 9th, 2008 at 3:28 pm b Says:

    Fuck Mothers Day! You and my wife should both be pregnant this Mothers Day, and you’re not. I say we start drinking at noon and don’t stop till we pass out.

  7. On May 9th, 2008 at 3:46 pm kc Says:

    You can be my Mom (part 2) & I can come live with you and Daver!

  8. On May 9th, 2008 at 3:51 pm andria Says:

    I’m with B. I’ll start drinking at noon with you.

    If you were in Texas I’d take you out for some BBQ and some liquored up iced tea and we’d make a day of it.

  9. On May 9th, 2008 at 4:50 pm Karen Says:

    So sorry. I always did hate Mother’s Day.

  10. On May 9th, 2008 at 4:53 pm Kyddryn Says:

    It’s not fair that Mother’s day should suck from both sides, for you…so to Hell with it. Let’s make an Internet Friends Who’ve Never Met Day, instead, and send each other cheesy cards and cheap perfume for it, and every now and then do it right and include a spa day or a weekend getaway, or maybe a month’s housekeeping or something. Anyone want in on this??

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  11. On May 9th, 2008 at 5:30 pm mandy Says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. Understanding ((hugs))

    Just so sorry.

  12. On May 9th, 2008 at 5:36 pm Amy Says:

    Thinking of you. I know how hard this is. I am so sorry. Big hugs, girlfriend!

  13. On May 9th, 2008 at 5:37 pm andi Says:

    I don’t know what to say but sorry.

  14. On May 9th, 2008 at 5:39 pm Jenn Says:

    Huge hugs. I’m so sorry.

  15. On May 9th, 2008 at 5:52 pm Ames Says:

    I’m so very sorry Becky! I’ll be thinking of you this weekend.

    On another note, I am so in on the “Internet Friends Who’ve Never Met Day”. Sounds like a blast to me!

  16. On May 9th, 2008 at 5:59 pm mrs.spit Says:

    Well, shit. C’mon up here. We got gin, we got whisky and we got bourbon. I’ll go get some more ice cream.

    I’m sorry love.

  17. On May 9th, 2008 at 6:43 pm theramblinghousewife Says:

    So, so, sorry. It’s awful . . .

    Just awful . . .

  18. On May 9th, 2008 at 8:27 pm Natalie Says:

    Bugger. I’m boycotting Mother’s Day. You can join me.

  19. On May 9th, 2008 at 8:33 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    I know it sounds hollow (because it did to us with every passing month that we failed to conceive our second), but you’re still a mom, even if you’re not pregnant right now. It’s difficult, and it’s sad, and it sucks. But it’s not going to be the end of your world. You can choose to be the woman who can’t get pregnant, or you can be the woman who has two boys. For emphasis: it’s your choice, you define yourself.

    It will get better, and if you still want another one, keep trying. Sometimes, it just takes a miracle (like my inlaws finally moving into their own home and us not having to do it like teenagers hoping that her dad doesn’t hear me banging his daughter) for everything to work out.

    I’d say I’ll pray for you, but that would be a lie. I don’t pray, but I’ll have a good thought for you. (I mean really, how can anyone pray to a kitten killer, right?)

  20. On May 9th, 2008 at 8:53 pm magpie Says:

    I’m sorry, hon.

  21. On May 9th, 2008 at 9:07 pm STE Says:

    My husband and I are going to hide away in our bedroom, eating junk food and watching non-baby related movies all day.

    It fucking sucks. I’m sorry, Becky.

  22. On May 9th, 2008 at 9:13 pm RhoRho Says:

    So sorry, wish I could have a martini with you.

  23. On May 9th, 2008 at 11:01 pm g Says:

    Next Holiday up is: Aunt Day, we will shower our Aunt Beckys in flower petals and vodka.


  24. On May 9th, 2008 at 11:30 pm Heather Says:

    Mother’s Day Sucks. How’s that for sentiment?

    And … you are still more than welcome to join me and mine on our Beachin’ (or, umm, Bitchin’) Mother’s Day Boycott in the Outer Banks.

    I’m sorry it’s especially nasty this year. Hugs, Beck.

  25. On May 10th, 2008 at 12:03 am b Says:

    I’m in TX too, so come on down. Andria and I will liquor you up and show you a good time. Time for that road trip!

  26. On May 10th, 2008 at 1:00 am Ann Says:

    I’m so sorry, love. That is hard to shake for a while. I wish I lived closer…I’d help b liquor you up. xo.

  27. On May 10th, 2008 at 10:08 am Jenn Says:


    Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you and sending you good mojo right now. *BIG hugs my friend*

  28. On May 11th, 2008 at 4:29 pm tash Says:

    I’m so so sorry. Timing is everything, and often it’s just a big steaming pile, isn’t it.

    FYI, I couldn’t drum up anything *perfect* so I donated to NILMDTS for my mother for mom’s day, and she was THRILLED to pieces. Good call. Thank you.

  29. On May 11th, 2008 at 7:54 pm Emily R Says:

    Just saying Hi. Because I am thinking of you today.

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