Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

We Can Dance If We Want To.


Unfreakingbelievably, the bathroom is now completely painted, which ends my current foray into home improvements.

One half of the bathroom is a light blue and the other is chocolate brown, which Dave (btw–go visit that duder, he’s feeling lonesome) is too tactful to actually come out and admit that he hates. I reminded him that no matter WHAT we did to that room, it couldn’t be worse than it already was. The bathroom looked like a runaway from some stuffy old lady’s house who had died in approximately 1974. To give an example, we pulled down the light fixture from there and threw it into the garage where it is currently sitting. I may never part with it, because I imagine that anytime I am feeling sad or mad or whatever, all I will have to do is have a look at it, and I will burst into gales of laughter. Like blogging, it’s cheaper than therapy.

Ashley called it Testicleeeez (say it out loud, for once I intended to mispell something) whereas I happen to think that it looks more like boobs. Sweet Jesus, these people had no taste.

So YAY! bathroom is done. Well, I should clarify that: MY part of the bathroom is completed, and the ball is in Dave’s proverbial court (because we don’t ACTUALLY have a court here, dumbass), where I am sure it will remain for the next several months until I learn how to install a toliet tank and bathroom sink. I don’t know what is scarier, the thought of me installing a toliet by myself or the thought of having to sit on the couch, phone in hand while I dial 9-1 and wait for the screams before I hit the next 1. I’m thinking about having a Housewarming Party in my bathroom, providing I can clean up the blood in time.

To celebrate the possible demise of my husband by toliet, I give you a video:

(I SOOOO want to learn to do the robot.)

5 Comments to

“We Can Dance If We Want To.”

  1. On September 5th, 2007 at 10:31 pm d.w. Says:



  2. On September 5th, 2007 at 10:35 pm becky Says:

    See, YEAH, and THEN where will I pee?

  3. On September 6th, 2007 at 11:55 am Ashley Says:

    I’m impressed. You cranked on that. Have you ever noticed that some people say “humping or humped” when they want to say you were working at an impressive speed. Random aside, but I think that is awesome. Another random aside, this is post a comment on a Becky Blog day.

    Hey Daver, blue and chocolate brown are a fantastic combo. Respect.

  4. On September 6th, 2007 at 12:19 pm Kristin Says:

    So, since you are done, you are going to come do home improvements on your favorite townhouse, right?

  5. On September 6th, 2007 at 4:51 pm becky Says:

    Thanks, Ashwee! You need to come over and we’ll order pizza delivered to my bathroom. It’ll be hot as fcuk. I’ve never heard humping or humped to refer to speed.

    Kristin? No habla English.

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