Truth and Fiction STC.
November2
Aunt Becky: “You can trust me because I have CREDENTIALS!”
Ben (my friend, not my son): “So WHAT are your credentials?”
Aunt Becky: “I have a DIPLOMA!”
Ben: “You do not.”
Aunt Becky: “I do! I didn’t even make it on dot matrix paper!”
Ben: “Who made it for you?”
Aunt Becky: “Um…”
(looks at hands)
Aunt Becky: “Me.”
Ben: “You made your own diploma?”
Aunt Becky (proudly) “On NON dot matrix paper. It’s purdy.”
Ben: “Does it have unicorns?”
Aunt Becky: “On roller blades. It’s wicked.”
Ben: “Is it in Sharpie?”
Aunt Becky: “PINK Sharpie.”
Ben (laughs): “Figured.”
Ben:
Aunt Becky:
The truth, I suppose, is somewhere in the middle.
Expert Photoshopping done by Rachel.
I for one am impressed.
Thank you, my sweet niece. Someday, Auntie Becky will make you one, too.
This is great. And I saw something about infusing vodka with stuff like starbursts and jolly ranchers and thought of you. You do something like one cup of vodka per one jolly rancher, or starburst, or other sugar candy. Let soak for a few days until the whole candy is dissolved. Might need to strain some of the small bits and pieces out….but it was oh so colorful and pretty and sure sounded tasty.
O.M.G. Jolly Rancher vodka? This is AMAZING.
Them is some sexy credentials.
Aren’t they? I feel they really capture my essence.
Man, my diploma isn’t nearly as cool and I bet it cost way more!
What a rip-off.
That’s a hot pile of bullshit, girl.
Makes my phd look sad.
You can bedazzle the SHIT out of that!