Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » The Soul Portrait Of The Beholder

The Soul Portrait Of The Beholder

January11

There comes a time in every blobber’s life when you wipe the Pringles crumbs from your shirt, slurp the rest of your soda down and say, “Blobber-self, it’s time that I look deep within myself and find my soul.” Maybe you will have some mystical music playing or something because I feel soul-finding should have some Enigma or something playing (I don’t own any, but I may have to buy some).

Then, if you’re me, you spend a good bit of time wondering what your soul looks like. Mashed potatoes? Peas? Barry Manilow? A mashed potato sculpture of Barry Manilow? The possibilities are both endless and frightening.

This, however, this is epic.

Meet Adam. He’s also Avitable. And my BFF. Here we are in Vegas.

Adam and I decided that it was Time To Search Our Souls and find our Spirit Animals. I was scared. He held my hand.

We found the perfect person to guide us! Erial “meditates and tunes into you” to “get your unique essence”, and once he “gets an aspect of your celestial self”, he will transform a normal photo into a Celestial Soul Portrait!

This, Pranksters was a win! I needed something unique for a VD-Day Card (I’m too lazy to send out Christmas Cards) and this? This was just TOPS. So we anxiously sent off our questionnaires and waited.

Finally, the day come and I tore open my email and this is what slipped open.

The most beautiful souls on the planet:

Epic Fucking Soul Portraits

Apparently, THAT is what our souls look like. And THAT is our Spirit Animal.

Pranksters, which one of you is going to buy me an Epic Wolf Shirt to go along with it?

Photo courtesy: AngiePangie

posted under Aunt Becky Has VD

78 Comments to

“The Soul Portrait Of The Beholder”

On January 11th, 2011 at 10:44 am Avitable Says:
Our souls are obviously the most epic in the whole universe, as evidenced from this portrait.
On January 11th, 2011 at 10:47 am Becky Mochaface Says:
Worth every penny.
On January 12th, 2011 at 11:58 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
I would pay double. That kind of awesome doesn’t HAVE a price tag.
On January 11th, 2011 at 10:49 am Berserk Father Says:
AWESOME! Do you have a theme song to go with it? I am drawing a blank but I am sure the pranksters could thing of something the befits the photo’s kickassness. (great word right?)

I wonder what my Spirit Animal is… probably something awesome like a bear… or maybe a Ligre!
On January 12th, 2011 at 11:59 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
I think it’s a Ligre, yours, I mean.

I always thought mine would be a slug or a meal worm. And look at me now!
On January 11th, 2011 at 10:54 am Kristin (MamaKK9220 Says:
OMG that is amazing. You’re a wolf. I want one now. I must own one. I will buy you a Wolf shirt. And here I wrote a blog about how I hated the word Epic and when you use it I don’t hate it. I starting to think I just hate the person who says it. Hmm I am pretty sure that’s it. Damn well the blog is out there now. But that is AMAZABALLS!!!!
On January 11th, 2011 at 10:54 am Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:
OMG that is amazing. You’re a wolf. I want one now. I must own one. I will buy you a Wolf shirt. And here I wrote a blog about how I hated the word Epic and when you use it I don’t hate it. I starting to think I just hate the person who says it. Hmm I am pretty sure that’s it. Damn well the blog is out there now. But that is AMAZABALLS!!!!
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:26 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I think most people that say “epic” use it wrong. It’s funniest when coupled with “wolf” or “soul portrait.”
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:58 pm Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:
I think you are right. And I think that is why I hate the word Epic most of the time. But it is HILARIOUS when used with wolf and soul portrait.
On January 12th, 2011 at 12:14 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I think when epic is normally used, it’s really fucking annoying. EPICALLY annoying, even.

(hahahaha)

(I slay me)
On January 11th, 2011 at 10:56 am Tweets that mention The Soul Portrait of the Beholder | Mommy Wants Vodka -- Topsy.com Says:
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Aunt Becky and Angie. Angie said: seriously, the funniest image in the history of ever. @mommywantsvodka + @avitable + WOLVES = tru luv 4eva http://bit.ly/gdQ5rO […]
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:00 am Barbara Says:
OMG, that is awesome
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:25 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Awesome doesn’t describe it. Nothing can describe it.
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:03 am MidLifeMama Says:
Um…who is the chick with the candle antlers? Or am I the only one who can see her? Otherwise, that is fantabulous. And sparkly. I like sparkly.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:25 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
HAHAHAHAHA!

You’re the only one who can see her.
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:17 am Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) Says:
Well…i suppose that i will need to buy you the shirt…after all, we’re practically family now, right? spirit animal…my husband has an indian nickname that we got in arizona by spinning a wheel at the indian museum. He is dancing dear or as i like to call him, Pussy Bear.

hahaha…now where do i get the shirt from ?
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:25 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
You buy those Wolf Shirts from gas stations. Or rest stops. Or truck stops. Really, they’re EVERYWHERE.
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:20 am Hamlet's Mistress Says:
Very rufus.

And also, in the soul picture your hand looks like it’s actually Adam’s hand. And it just looks… right.

🙂
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:24 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
And I look to be about 100 years old.
On January 11th, 2011 at 1:44 pm Hamlet's Mistress Says:
Maybe that just means you’re an old soul. Which I think is completely endearing.
On January 12th, 2011 at 9:40 am Wombat Central Says:
Fanfreakingtastic. I’m digging the shiny forehead jewel. That would save a lot of stubbed toes for nighttime potty runs.
On January 12th, 2011 at 9:42 am Wombat Central Says:
Rufus as in “Never Been Kissed” rufus?

(ugh. Meant to post my previous comment in the regular comments and this one here. My spirit animal is totally calling me a sparkly asshat right now.)
On January 12th, 2011 at 12:14 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I think my spirit animal just took a shit in my house. I want a new spirit animal.
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:26 am Ms Dreamer Says:
O. My. Fucking. Awesome.
My spirit animal would wind up being the manatee 🙂
I need to saves my monies and get my Epic Soul Portrait done. Rock on, Bex and Adam. Rock the fuck on.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Okay, I snorted coffee everywhere. EVERYWHERE. You owe me a new keyboard. You ruined my spirit animal.
On January 13th, 2011 at 2:14 pm Ms Dreamer Says:
Ms D
the manatee
soft and round and snug-a-lee!

Wow…I really need a drink. Thank God I’m throwing darts tonight 🙂
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:34 am Marie Says:
uhhhh, oh. That’s FULL of the Awesome. Yeah. It loks KINDA like that’s HIs pretty hand with the nice ring on it. And the dots around your eyes DON’T make you look 80. Wow. You need to frame that bad boy and hang it over your couch. Not on the wall. On the ceiling.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

So Adam is pretty and I look to be an Old Woman. Perhaps this is what he does to punish people.
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:35 am irant Says:
Uh – hate to break it to you, but this dude is a phoney. Everyone knows Erial (with an ‘E’) is a girl’s name …

K
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
ZOMG. NO WAY.
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:35 am Kristin Says:
LOVE IT…but I have a question. Since you are draped in wolf fur, you are obviously the wolf. But Adam has that crown thingie over his head and there is that antler chick in the background. Does that tie the two of them together?
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I wonder who she is. I didn’t ask that. But now I feel I should find out.
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:41 am Kelly Says:
Aunt Becky, you are SO fancy!
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I am a fancy lady!!
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:55 am @wtfinmontana Says:
WOW. Did not know that a lady with an awesome headdress was an option for soul animal.
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:57 am @wtfinmontana Says:
No I am not a robot. ????
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:14 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
It’s pretty fancy, isn’t it?
On January 11th, 2011 at 11:59 am Varda (SquashedMom) Says:
LOVE the wolf you! And the dots on your face don’t make you look TOO much like an alien from the old Star Trek: Deep Space 9 series.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I think he hates me.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:00 pm Jana A Says:
That is far more fucking epic than anythink I’ve ever seen (or heard). I wish it was my face on the wolf, though. THAT would be even more epic!
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:19 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I bet we could ask him to make you into the Wolf Spirit Animal. She Who Is A Wolf-Face will be what I call you now.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:00 pm Neeroc Says:
I wonder if he’s ever met a soul that wasn’t iridescent? I mean, obviously yours are, but what does he do with the blackened, shriveled souls? Feed them to your wolf?
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:18 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Well, did you LOOK at what I “look” like now? I think that’s what you look like when you’re a bad person.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:02 pm a Says:
I’m confused, though…why is Adam wearing the tiara? I would have put that on you for sure. And I think that wolf is pissed that you stole his mate for a coat. I’d probably pass on the shirt, in case that pushes him over the edge!
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:18 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I think Adam looks rather dashing in a tiara…although you’re right. It’s a little more my style.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:26 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:
That is really amazing!
On January 12th, 2011 at 12:15 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
It’s really…it’s really something.
On January 11th, 2011 at 12:54 pm Dustbag Says:
I will order you this if you read all 1,873 Customer Reviews… (seriously, read them, they are better than the shirt)

http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A

Love ya Becks.
On January 12th, 2011 at 12:16 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Those reviews made me pee myself. I need to find those people and make out with them all.
On January 11th, 2011 at 1:13 pm Renee Says:
In the name that is spiritualy, your soul is absolutely beautiful. I don’t think mine would ever look like that. EVER
On January 11th, 2011 at 1:37 pm A Vapid Blonde Says:
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to walk around showing your epic fucking soul to everyone and just be all like…What? It’s MY EPIC fucking soul…jealous!
On January 12th, 2011 at 12:16 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
I should get my soul on a t-shirt. LOTS of t-shirts. And be all THAT’S MY FUCKING SOUL, BITCHES.
On January 11th, 2011 at 1:38 pm A Vapid Blonde Says:
I think my comment got sucked into your epic fucking soul. It was a good comment. Damn Souls.
On January 11th, 2011 at 1:51 pm Beth Says:
Huh… I would’ve figured something more obscure. Mongoose, maybe? Platypus? Maybe souls don’t do variety. This begs further research. Or some rum for this Diet Coke I’m drinking.
On January 11th, 2011 at 2:47 pm mumma boo Says:
Forget the wolf t-shirt – you need to have t-shirts made from your soul portrait and wear it on the cruise. Every day.
On January 11th, 2011 at 3:27 pm April Says:
This reminds me…
http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A

YOU NEED THIS SHIRT. Magic happens when you wear it. Read the reviews–it is REAL I promise
On January 11th, 2011 at 3:31 pm Dana Says:
Why do I think my Spirit Animal would be something like an opossum or an armadillo??
On January 11th, 2011 at 3:57 pm AuntieEmBabes Says:
are those like shark tooth necklaces? pink sharks? was his a beer shark? (it totally looks like a tiny mug of beer)
On January 11th, 2011 at 4:20 pm Amelia Says:
I’m pretty jealous of this. I really want my soul portrait done,but we’re in a recession yo. You should have done one with more cleavage though, I liked what he did to the girl’s cleavage in the other picture.
On January 11th, 2011 at 5:13 pm Lenette Says:
that is so freakin cool!
On January 11th, 2011 at 6:07 pm Cassie Says:
Really random, but I saw this shirt today and it totally reminded me of you:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/65674343/dont-go-bacon-my-heart-valentines-day
On January 11th, 2011 at 7:01 pm sue j. Says:
But I thought my spirit animals were wolf and Medusa. The tie dye effect is definitely yo’.
On January 12th, 2011 at 11:17 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

*wipes eyes*

It’s so…it’s so LSDish.
On January 11th, 2011 at 8:41 pm Jessica Says:
Are you the wolf or rainbow Medusa?
On January 12th, 2011 at 11:18 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
I haven’t been able to ascertain that bit.
On January 11th, 2011 at 9:15 pm Libby Says:
I hate to be all “um, WHAT” but really, why does he have a crown and you don’t? Also, I am pretty sure he stole your hand in the spirit world. In the first picture it is definitely yours, but in the second, it just looks like homeboy has a nice manicure.

Please don’t send your wolf after me.
On January 11th, 2011 at 10:09 pm Johi Says:
This is beyond awesome.
I have never meditated with Erial personally, but I firmly believe that my Spirit Animal is a hawk (or a unicorn?) and that my soul looks like a bedazzled Holly Hobby, who is doing laundry and drinking wine out of a box. Yep.
On January 12th, 2011 at 12:48 am Karen (SubMommy) Says:
Oh Gawd. No Enigma. SubHub calls it, “Hump Music.”

Congratulations on your recent discovery of – whatever the hell that was.
On January 12th, 2011 at 1:29 am Josefina Says:
The wolf was a surprise ending for me. I halfway expected you to be your own spirit animal, you are that rad. But I’m no Erial. Obviously.

Also, I notice what appears to be a very Queen-of-England-esque double-strand of pearls behind the shark-tooth necklace. That is some deep stuff, right there.
On January 12th, 2011 at 9:33 am Professor M... Says:
Previous post asked for a theme song: How about “Hungry Like a Wolf”?
On January 12th, 2011 at 9:58 am Berserk Father Says:
Not bad. Though that song seems more carnal than the whole picture displays.
On January 12th, 2011 at 1:34 pm Lannie Says:
It brings a tear to my eye 😀
On January 13th, 2011 at 3:59 am Angela Says:
Fun picture. And he’s cute. Ahem.
On January 14th, 2011 at 9:26 am Crystal Says:
THat’s hilarious! I’m not sure if my soul is quite so happy. Somedays I think my soul is pissed. Staying home w/4 dudes is a lot of work!! I am new to your blog…so excited to read more!!
On February 16th, 2011 at 2:55 pm The Most EPIC of All EPIC Purple Glitter Sparkle White Horse Nightgown We Know Awesome — We Know Awesome Says:
[…] My kid now has her own spirit animal because Aunt Becky says she needs one. […]
On March 7th, 2011 at 7:09 pm JuliBo Says:
Waay Cool- Adam’s spirit animal is the wolf, and your spirit animal is Cher. Wow. No wonder awesomeness emanates from your being. Cher!
On March 7th, 2011 at 7:10 pm JuliBo Says:
no bot, just a prankster
On December 28th, 2011 at 11:29 am - Mommy Wants Vodka Says:
[…] after I’d gleefully showed you that my soul does, in fact, look like an Epic Fucking Wolf (also: Adam has a pretty lady hand), I’d gotten a comment from Dustbag saying that if I read […]