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The REAL Meaning Of Marriage

October26

Becky: “Do you like my manicure?” (playfully wraggles black fingernails in Daver’s face)

Dave (grabs hand for closer inspection): “Ooooh. Freaky! Won’t Ashley be mad that you had black nail polish put on for her wedding?”

Becky: “Nah. It’s perfectly vogue now. It’s no longer JUST for goth chicks.”

Dave: “Ah.”

Dave (grabs her hand again. This time her right hand, although not unkindly): “Wait a minute…is your wedding ring STUCK ON?”

Becky (sheepishly, in a small voice): “Yes.” (pauses) “I kept in on to long after I got pregnant with Amelia. And now I can’t get it off.”

Dave (eyes take on a mischievous gleam): “You know what this means, right?”

Becky: “Please don’t take me down to the fire station to get it cut off. I’m so ashamed. I HAVE FINGER FAT NOW.”

Dave: “No, no. I wouldn’t do that. And your finger looks great. But…”

(pauses dramatically for effect)

Dave: “You SEE this ring? IT MEANS I OWN YOU.”

Becky: “That’s MY line, assface.”

Dave: “And look at how badly it blew up in your face.”

Becky: “Touche.”

posted under Aunt Becky Has VD, I Think I Love My Husband

40 Comments to

“The REAL Meaning Of Marriage”

On October 26th, 2008 at 10:05 am birdpress Says:
Amelia, huh? 🙂 Nice name!

I hope you don’t have to cut off the ring!
On October 26th, 2008 at 10:42 am Miss Grace Says:
My dad just had to get his wedding ring cut off. It was warping his finger in all kinds of bad. My mom can’t get her’s off either, that’s what 31 years of marriage will do to ya.
On October 26th, 2008 at 10:48 am Maria Says:
Amelia is one of my favorite girl names.
On October 26th, 2008 at 11:15 am Fancy Says:
My father had to cut 8 rings off my hands when I swelled up during pregnancy. Luckily none of them were really good ones. I love the name Amelia, also. My niece named one of her daughters that, and her nickname is Mimi.
On October 26th, 2008 at 11:42 am Cricket Says:
I’ve had two rings cut off, neither related to pregnancy. One, my old wedding ring + guard, stayed like that for years without problems. It was far from an emergency when I got it cut off – it was divorce!
On October 26th, 2008 at 11:50 am Emily (Apron Strings) Says:
LMAO! Very cute story. And I lurrrvvve the name Amelia!
On October 26th, 2008 at 12:02 pm Edward Says:
It is NOT ownership…don’t buy into it lol! Legally it is a contract between two people (in most states a man and a woman). This contract can be broken by either party.

When you think of it like that….it kind of seems strange that it even carries so much meaning don’t you think?

Well all that said…I still feel more comfortable being married. I would rather be married than not married but no one better try to “own”me because I will tell you…you probably already know…no one can control me lol!

The wedding ring thing seems so uncomfortable! And don’t be ashamed of finger fat!
On October 26th, 2008 at 12:21 pm Queen-sized funny bone Says:
Im gonna let the fat grow around mine what the heck.
On October 26th, 2008 at 12:21 pm giggleblue Says:
typically i can only get my wedding ring on before 9am. after that, i’m just not married that day i guess.

but you, you are stuck until the sausage patty make her entrance.
On October 26th, 2008 at 1:06 pm honeywine Says:
Kinky. lol Have the boys read the Amelia Bedelia books? 🙂
On October 26th, 2008 at 1:29 pm swirl girl Says:
Amelia is a much better name than taco.

…and who owns whom?
On October 26th, 2008 at 2:04 pm mandy Says:
I am sure the same conversation is going on in households all across america!

I so own you, boyy. (to mine)
On October 26th, 2008 at 2:39 pm Danielle Says:
AHAHAHAHAHAHA…dammit! I hate it when things come back to bite me in my ass.
On October 26th, 2008 at 2:40 pm Betts Says:
The real story is that they can’t survive without us. Our house and credit rating would crumble around him without me. I don’t think he knows how to operate the washer, dryer or dishwasher. I love him to pieces (lucky for him), but I could survive easier without him, than him without me.
On October 26th, 2008 at 3:24 pm Holly Says:
LOL he is so funny isn’t he. Yeah did you slap him up side the head. I would of. Put him in his place girl. LOL

Love the name!
On October 26th, 2008 at 4:15 pm Jenn Says:
Squeeee!!! I love the name Amelia!

Okay, I got a little excited there. Do you want the ring to come off or are you hold out for after baby is born? My girls are summer babies and I had that problem with both of them and had different solutions to both. Let me know if you need help.
On October 26th, 2008 at 5:54 pm Deb Says:
Finger Fat = Ownership.

Got it!

Note to self, avoid finger fat…
On October 26th, 2008 at 6:57 pm Amy Says:
I just had to say, I love the name Amelia!! 🙂
On October 26th, 2008 at 7:29 pm heather Says:
Oh come on, you know you want to name that kid heather.

Amelia is good – it’s rare enough that you probably don’t know any jackass kids who ruined the name for you.
On October 26th, 2008 at 7:49 pm Jen Says:
Amelia! Love!

I stopped wearing my ring this week. It made my finger look like a sausage link…
On October 26th, 2008 at 8:21 pm Lola Says:
Amelia, huh? I love it! What will be the shorthand when you’re yelling for her to “Get back over here and put on your clothes NOW”? Meeley, Amy, Lia, Meme, Ahhh? Three syllables is rough when you’re in a hurry to get your point across.

I can’t stand when I eat too much Chinese food and I can’t get my rings off. Makes me nervous. My fingers were nude little sausages during my pregnancy. I saw no need to accentuate the finger fat.
On October 26th, 2008 at 8:47 pm Ms. Moon Says:
Ah. Just wait.
http://blessourhearts.blogspot.com/2008/10/twenty-four-years-of-marriage.html
On October 26th, 2008 at 9:32 pm lindz Says:
Amelia..very very cute.

ah, the daver, what a good man to EVEN notice that th ring was stuck.
On October 26th, 2008 at 10:03 pm heather Says:
A certain wild womanl whom we fondly call Beans will share a name with your wee one. Her middle name is Amelia spelled the same. Told you we were twins.
On October 26th, 2008 at 10:04 pm heather Says:
A certain wild woman whom we fondly call Beans will share a name with your wee one. Her middle name is Amelia – spelled the same. Told you we were twins.
On October 26th, 2008 at 10:08 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:
Gah! My ring gives my finger a bit of an irritating rash. I wonder what it says about the strength of my marriage!

Adding my ‘love it’ to the name choice!
On October 27th, 2008 at 2:05 am baseballmom Says:
Amelia?! I love that name…if T was a girl, that was one of our top choices!
On October 27th, 2008 at 4:08 am SCY Says:
Amelia is an uber cute girl name 🙂

I like that he said your finger was fine – hehehe, he knows not to admit to fat even if it’s on your finger 😉
On October 27th, 2008 at 7:07 am SciFi Dad Says:
I believe the term is pwned.
On October 27th, 2008 at 8:22 am mumma boo Says:
Love the name! Finger fat is all kinds of sexy. 🙂
On October 27th, 2008 at 8:34 am Kristine Says:
Amelia is a great name.

Our ring conversations generally go:

“Hey, are you married?”
“Nope.”
“Me neither.”
“Do you at least know where you ring is?”
“Uh…I think it might be by the kitchen sink. Or the bathroom sink. Or the computer. Or my bedside table. I’m pretty sure it’s at least in the house.”
On October 27th, 2008 at 10:07 am As American as Apple Pie Says:
I love the name Amelia! So perfect for a sweet little girl!
On October 27th, 2008 at 10:35 am magpie Says:
Oops about the ring. Will it really not come off?
On October 27th, 2008 at 11:19 am Coco Says:
I’m chuckling to myself at the idea of you (with your neo-Goth manicure) being taken to the Fire Station by the Daver to get your ring cut off.

Try a little dish soap. 😉

Two thumbs up on “Amelia”.
On October 27th, 2008 at 11:54 am chris Says:
Own ya, right…No one owns Aunt Becky!
On October 27th, 2008 at 12:42 pm kbrients Says:
LOVE the name– what a sweet twisted thing to say….
On October 27th, 2008 at 1:21 pm elle michelle Says:
Your Dave = my Dave. Seriously, they could be the same person. We’re lucky ladies, huh?
On October 27th, 2008 at 3:36 pm tash Says:
It’s bad that I still can’t get mine off, huh.

Damn ownership. Might as well brand me.
On October 27th, 2008 at 4:52 pm Melissa Says:
I LOVE the name Amelia! ::swoons:: Black nail polish is really awesome, too. 🙂

Also, if it makes you feel any better, I got a hell of a lot more than finger fat and I’m NOT incubating a cute little bambino.
On October 31st, 2008 at 12:48 am Painted Maypole Says:
he he he