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The Joker To My Batman


Like me or not, I’ve never been known as a hateable person. Sure, the random person now and again decides that they hate me, but usually there’s a reason. Even Molly, the man-hands girl who had The Sex with my boyfriend had been nursing a long-time grudge waaay back from when I’d dared go to homecoming with a guy she was stalking er, trying to date.

That said, I was hated from the moment Amanda laid eyes on me.

It was an odd situation for sure, I was good friend with her boyfriend Mikey, who hadn’t exactly told me that he was dating anyone, so I literally had no clue why this chick was glaring at me the moment I walked in the room. I’d never been super popular with the ladies, so that maybe wasn’t a huge shock, but she shot me the hairy eyeball for so long that I began to wonder if I had a boogie on my face or she thought I was someone else.

But no. Turns out she was glaring at me because she hated me because I took the male attention away from her (there were a number of dudes there the night I met her, that were my friends). From that point forward, she was my own personal enemy. I was strangely flattered.

That is, until she set about ruining my life.

While it sounds dramatic and all, she didn’t try and kill me or anything, she just waged war on me. At any opportunity to make me look bad, she took it and ran with it. It was always about one-upping me with whatever was going on, whether or not I was even trying to compete with her. She was dying to get me gone.

Things came to a head when I was about 6 months pregnant with Ben. Faithful readers (that I pay heavily) will remember that I was unmarried, 20 years old, and unhappy as hell with my Baby Daddy Nat.

So Nat had a lady admirer, Megan, who I’d always kinda poked fun at. She was a nice enough girl, I suppose, incredibly irritating, and known to get drunk and command that everyone near her listen to her talk about her horribly abusive childhood and how she’d sometimes “cry in the shower.” It wasn’t so much a cry for help as it was a cry for the party to pay attention to her.

But for some reason, Megan thought Nat (who is not an attractive man. What was I thinking? I WASN’T.) was just the bees knees, and at any party we’d go to, she’d glom onto him and hang around him all night. I thought it was hilarious: this chick was obviously annoying, pathetic and stupid, but I never raised a stink about it. Why would he go for her?

For months, though, anytime Nat would see Amanda, she would tell him about how much better off he’d be with Megan, how Megan liked him, and she’d make sure to arrange any time that the two of them could be together without me. Hoping for some sort of reaction other than laughter (the girl was REALLY annoying) Nat would always tell me about this, and become sort of annoyed when I didn’t get jealous.

The one night that he cheated on me–while I was pregnant with Ben–it had been carefully orchestrated by Amanda. Now, of COURSE it was Nat’s fault. Of COURSE it was. But, Amanda was most pleased by this, after nursing such a high resentment towards me for years and years.

Finally after months and years of plotting, that stupid bitch had gotten under my skin.

I still see her now and again out and about, and she’s still equally pathetic and sad (she dated pretty much all the guys in one group of friends-my friend group–and they all dumped her). I’m sure if you were to confront her she’d deny any sort of anger, any sort of hatred.

But she’d be lying.

Stupid assed-bitch.

*claps hands happily*

Your enemy stories?

22 Comments to

“The Joker To My Batman”

  1. On June 16th, 2008 at 11:30 am Kristine Says:

    The enemies I had were mostly based on a similar, I was friends with their boyfriend and they couldn’t handle the thought of that, the same kind of crap you describe. Although, because I kind of just plodded away at my own life and tried to just ignore them, nothing ever really came to a head.

    Although at the moment, I am clearly hated by my husband’s best friend’s fiance. I may have refered to him as “my second husband – all of the work with none of the benefits.”

  2. On June 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am Marie Says:

    I am working on one right now. My son is in a play with the daughter of a woman that I was SERIOUS rivals with a highschool and she is such an incredible Biaaatch that I taste bile every day that I have to look at her. Last week my husband took my son to rehersal and I got there late and what do I find when I get there?? She is almost sitting in his lap with her big cellulite ridden legs attached to cankles very close to him. I was not happy. I filled him in and I don’t think it will happen again. He said he was extremely uncomfortable but didn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know her or the history. uggg but I feel better now for some reason.

  3. On June 16th, 2008 at 11:58 am Kymberli Says:

    My hubby’s ex-girlfriend from high school never liked me for some reason, even well before I had anything more than a hi/bye relationship with him. I was a freshman, she a sophomore, and he a junior when I first met them. I was actually dating his best friend at the time, but it’s not like we hung out as a group or anything. She had it out for me for some odd reason. The four of us were in band and though she tried with immature antics, I never let her get under my skin. Once when we were on a band trip she kept prank calling my room saying things like, “Oh, Kym’s so sad because she’s still a virgin….” Whatev. They broke up mid-way through that year, then eventually Frank and I started dating on and off through his senior year/my sophomore year/her junior year. From then on she was always jealous. Frank graduated in ’93 and we’ve been together steadily with no interruption since then. Imagine my surprise when the next school year started (my junior/her senior year) and she came back five months pregnant? Guess who was REALLY jealous of me? Guess who was a teen mom w/no support from the dad and was really missing out on the good guy? Yeah – who’s happy she’s still a virgin now, biatch? She actually tried to get him back for a couple of years after and though Frank still considered her a friend, he basically told her to talk to the hand as far as a relationship with her was concerned. Now Frank and I are a happy shiny couple with a 15-year long relationship and 6 days shy of our 12-year anniversary. Guess who’s still single? Coincidentally, she bought a house right around the corner from us and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t please me whenever she happens to see us all together, one happy shiny family. Ha!

  4. On June 16th, 2008 at 12:11 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    I have no enemies; just a path of destruction in my wake.

  5. On June 16th, 2008 at 12:28 pm Kristen Says:

    um. yikes! That is a severe hate-on she had for you. I am so sorry you have had to deal with freaks like that.

  6. On June 16th, 2008 at 12:31 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    This is not an enemy story but has a similar theme:
    My ex strayed like a tom cat. He WAS a tom cat. This was a long, long time ago and we were very young and I’ve got a sort of bemused attitude about it all now and we’re friends.
    But there is this one woman whom I know he had an affair with while we were married that I just can’t bring myself not to hate, which is so stupid- he slept with many women while we were married and it was no more her fault than it was his.
    But. I can’t help it.
    Logic has nothing to do with these things when you get right down to it.

  7. On June 16th, 2008 at 12:46 pm Sara Says:

    In high school, this girl “stole” my boyfriend. And to this day, she hates ME because of it. He wasn’t even a bad guy! Who the hell knows what’s wrong wtih this girl, other than she has a stupid name!!!

  8. On June 16th, 2008 at 12:56 pm Jenn Says:

    Oh oh! Your Amanda is my Christine! Only instead of trying to get my boyfriend to cheat on me with someone else, he cheated on me with her. AND she slept with all of my other guy friends too. She’s a mess now, with a drug problem and 2 kids by 2 different guys. It’s just sad.

  9. On June 16th, 2008 at 1:06 pm abandoning eden Says:

    I have an enemy who used to be my best friend. F or like 7 years- high school and college, and I actually went to the colelge I did because she was there and we all thought how awesome it would be to be bff’s there.

    In my senior year I called her out on some bullshit (she was fond of lying, I was high and was like “omg that totally did not happen!!), and she got mad at me and started screaming about how I was ‘judging her’ and then never talked to me again. Then she told all our mutual friends that they should stop being friends with me. Like in great detail, according to what said friends told me. Even years later, I would hear from random people that she had been talkign shit about me.

    Then she started making up fake names so she could be friended on my other (friends only) blog. Since I didn’t realize it was her at first (a lot of random people read my other blog) I friended her, and then figured out it was her a few weeks later when personal shit I wrote started being used in her diatribes to our mutual friends about how I suck. I unfriended her, but have had several random people try to friend me since then who I strongly suspect are her. (she’s not very bright when it come to choosing usernames)

    Meanwhile like a year later a mutual friend called me up to tell me that after being roommates for a while and the moving out, this girl had decided he owed her money (which he claims he didn’t- basically hte situation was that she turned into a giant cokehead and was trying to get more money for coke). So she started calling him 40 times a day and showing up on his doorstep, and hten calling him from other people’s numbers, and then called immigration because he had married someone so she could get a greencard (he was gay), and then called unemployment cuase he was working under the table earning crap money while looking for a more permenant job and collecting unemployment. He ended up changing his phone number and moving to get away from her.

    Basically, bitch was crazy, and I’m glad I wasn’t there for her full crazyness. Facebook keeps telling me I might know her cuase we have like 90bajillion friends in common, but no fucking way am I giving her a better way to stalk me.

  10. On June 16th, 2008 at 1:10 pm abandoning eden Says:

    oh and also I secretly hate my ex fiance’s wife, whom i’m pretty sure he cheated on me with (considering he went to visit her, broke up with me a week later, she broke up with HER fiance the same week, and they got together “officially” a week after that. Very suspicious). I’m actually blog friends with her on my other friends-only blog, and I don’t think she knows I secretly hate her. But I like reading her blog and laughing to myself about how much more awesome I am then her.

    Perhaps I am a crazy bitch as well for doing that, but I don’t try to ruin her life or anything. I just laugh when it gets ruined 🙂

  11. On June 16th, 2008 at 1:26 pm heather Says:

    My enemy is my OB. We hated each other. I’m so glad she was the woman to bring my daughter into the world. Fucking bitch. Oh, did I say that?

  12. On June 16th, 2008 at 1:28 pm deb Says:

    I have no enemies. I love everyone and everyone loves me! (I just threw up in my mouth a little)

  13. On June 16th, 2008 at 2:39 pm tash Says:

    My HS boyfriend’s next girlfriend, who became his wife, HATES ME. And I thought it was me, you know, dumpee of the boyfriend who made it possible for her to get together with him? Who occasionally socialized with him after the fact cuz we ran in the same circles? Thought she was just the jealous type. Turns out she hated ALL OF US. ALL OF HIS FRIENDS. We were a bad influence (you know, running off to Ivy League colleges and all — you never know) that she banned his contact with anyone. None of us were invited to the (thrown together) wedding. He rarely keeps in contact with anyone unless it’s surreptitious, or she plans it and is present. I just don’t get these kinda women.

    I think she’s my only one. I think. But one never knows. Muahahahahahaha.

  14. On June 16th, 2008 at 3:02 pm Leslee Says:

    I think I’ve already rambled on about the chick that I was BANNED FROM LOOKING AT my senior year of high school.

    She’s still afraid to come with in 100 ft of me. o_O

  15. On June 16th, 2008 at 3:53 pm Frozen Star Says:

    Sadly (?) I have no funny stories about people that hated me. I guess I just fly under everyone’s radar.

  16. On June 16th, 2008 at 4:06 pm gingermagnolia Says:

    My enemy is my father’s wife. She gets jealous any time I’m around my father. Weird, huh?

  17. On June 16th, 2008 at 5:37 pm A Soldier's Girl Says:

    You always have the best stories!!!!

    And I have way to many enemy stories to pick just one. Although, I’m not sure why. I am sweet as apple pie…until you piss me off or just look at me crazy!

  18. On June 16th, 2008 at 6:16 pm Lola Says:

    I’d say the stripper that wanted to fight me the other night that I posted about yesterday has been hating me for a couple years. I don’t really hate her, since she’s borderline retarded, but I wouldn’t mind kicking her ass because she is so incredibly annoying! She’s a total dumbass, but she jumps in on every conversation and acts like she knows what she’s talking about.

  19. On June 17th, 2008 at 4:28 pm honeywine Says:

    What a BITCH! See…now that’s a case for risking the karma!

  20. On June 18th, 2008 at 6:08 am niobe Says:

    Um, I’m sure you know my sad, sad story about my best friend Sarah who started seeing my boyfriend Steve behind my back. And then they got married. And had a beautiful little girl. And, stupid and pathetic me, I still miss them both terribly.

  21. On June 18th, 2008 at 7:08 am Cassie Says:

    I have LOTS. Well, only one ‘enemy’ but lots of stories about her. I think I sound a little pathetic saying she tried to steal my husband (before we were married though, she FINALLY backed off when I got pregnant) but one Valentine’s Day she sent him naked pictures of herself and told him she loved him. She later tried to play it off by telling me that it was “a joke.” Lamest excuse ever.

  22. On June 19th, 2008 at 10:08 pm trish Says:

    I don’t have any stories as good as yours.

    But I have had numerous girls who hated me, just ’cause I got along with the boys. It’s not my fault I like football and pizza! AND I got out of my way to make girls feel comfortable if I’m friends with their man. That’s what you get for being nice. GIRLS WHO HATE YOU.

    But there was this one guy…who definitely pursued me (he was HOT), and we dated for three weeks. In that three weeks (and before), there was a girl, not so pretty, not so thin, who didn’t hide her crush on him. He would call me and complain how much it bugged him, but this girl was friends with his sister, so he couldn’t just kick her out (he and his sister lived with their dad)…After three weeks of dating, he said he loved me, I couldn’t say I loved him yet so he broke up with me, and who did he end up dating AND MARRYING?

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