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Stupid Vestigial Organs


In an effort to outdo my tooth surgery, The Daver’s appendix decided that it was tired of living inside his body, on a constant stream of Doritos and Funyuns.

It rebelled.

So I’m sitting in the hospital, mullet-watching and hoping to score some morphine.

I brought my nursing badges and am planning to go scrub in and assist in some surgical cases.

You guys’ll bail me out, right?

35 Comments to

“Stupid Vestigial Organs”

  1. On December 22nd, 2011 at 1:44 pm Melissa Says:

    Poor The Daver!

  2. On December 22nd, 2011 at 1:48 pm Melissa Says:

    PS I had to look up vestigial

  3. On December 22nd, 2011 at 1:56 pm Jocelyn @ ScooterMarie Says:

    Woah, what the hell? I think you guys need to switch water or something. I hope you’re both feeling better soon!

  4. On December 22nd, 2011 at 2:05 pm Mayor Gia Says:

    Ooof that stinks. Recovery is gonna be bad (for you). Man flu x 1000.

  5. On December 22nd, 2011 at 2:13 pm jenn Says:

    Just had a falling out with my appendix, too, and had to part ways. Hope he got the laproscopic surgery; so much easier recovery than being opened up (although not being able to pick up my two year old for weeks was a problem, because I looked ok to her).

  6. On December 22nd, 2011 at 2:25 pm magpie Says:

    Poor Dave. Give him our best. How’s your tooth?

  7. On December 22nd, 2011 at 2:33 pm Rebecca Says:

    Nothing says Merry Christmas like a stay in the hospital. I’ll be there with Joey four days after Christmas. Santa is just so good to us, making sure we land in the hospital and all. God Love that Fat Jerk.

  8. On December 22nd, 2011 at 2:48 pm Lizbeth Says:

    I swear, what’s it with men always trying to upstage us?!?

    Seriously, I hope you guys are on the mend.

  9. On December 22nd, 2011 at 5:50 pm Tina Says:

    I AGREE!! Every time I get sick or injured…there’s the hubbers, trying to do me one better. Jackhole.

  10. On December 22nd, 2011 at 3:32 pm a Says:

    Poor The Daver! Hope it’s not complex and he’s back home soon.

    That’s the worst Christmas gift ever. No one wants an invalid for Christmas. He’d better buy you a sports car to make up for it.

  11. On December 22nd, 2011 at 3:59 pm katrina Says:

    Ho ho ho…..I guess MzMimi will be running things at home. Wishing both of you a speedy recovery!

  12. On December 22nd, 2011 at 4:14 pm Sunny Delaney Says:

    Hope both of you are feeling better soon!

  13. On December 22nd, 2011 at 4:40 pm Andrea Says:

    Oh no! Maybe if you hang a stocking at the end of the bed they will just put a potpourri of pills in it!

  14. On December 22nd, 2011 at 4:54 pm Kathryn Says:

    So sorry – having lived through an appendectomy I can assure you two things. He will be high as kite for Christmas. He will also feel much better. Another positive? If it’s gangrene he’s part zombie which is very cool!

  15. On December 22nd, 2011 at 5:01 pm Paulette Says:

    Totally count me in for the bail. I can chip in a $1.50 towards it anyway. It’s what I have left after Christmas shopping sorry.

  16. On December 22nd, 2011 at 5:44 pm Sarah P Says:

    OK, so I’ve had a lot of Irish coffees, and I had to read this several times before I realized it’s his appendix and not his liver. I was wondering why you were being so light about the whole thing.

    Well, here’s a great article on Funyuns for you:

  17. On December 22nd, 2011 at 6:59 pm Kernut the Blond Says:

    Nothing like the onset of the holidays to bring out a trip to the ER.

    Will you be selling any of the morphine? Put down for some.

  18. On December 22nd, 2011 at 7:00 pm Kernut the Blond Says:

    And I hope you’re both feeling better soon!

  19. On December 22nd, 2011 at 9:08 pm Caroline Says:

    You’d be the best surgical assistant ever!

  20. On December 22nd, 2011 at 11:05 pm kate murphy Says:

    well i’m sorry for the appendix business. i especially understand how frustrating it is when someone cuts in on your whining time for your previous grievous ailment. it’s like “can you please wait for a minute i’m not done complaining and i’ve still got about a week left on this one thanks.”

    oh and p.s. i had to quick complain to someone who will understand: i just got a PRIVATE message from someone telling me that they enjoyed reading my blog but don’t anymore because i’ve started to use “language.” i counted the swearwords. i used TWO in one post and…well a few more in the other but still. honestly? language? grow up. it’s just a word.

    p.p.s. my blog is not well-read at all. no commenters, no followers to boast about. trying to get there, but apparently i’m throwing everybody off with my potty-mouth. what. the. fuck. any advice??

  21. On December 22nd, 2011 at 11:30 pm TheBeerLady Says:

    Hmm, what does it say about me that I instantly decided I must read your blog as soon as I saw that someone was complaining about potty-mouth? (I suppose technically it says that I’m one of those people who will spend Christmas dinner desperately hoping that I don’t drop any f-bombs on my unprepared relatives.)

  22. On December 22nd, 2011 at 11:57 pm kate murphy Says:

    hahaha! i accidentally dropped on in front of my husband’s grandma during thanksgiving. i was like “ummm i mean…shoot??” luckily she’s hard of hearing and i’m not sure she actually registered what i had said. now i’m going to go read your blog you made me laugh. 🙂

  23. On December 27th, 2011 at 9:59 pm Kathleen Says:

    She probably heard you. And was choking back laughter at the idea that anybody thought she’d explode or something. Old ladies are a lot stronger (and often a lot saltier) than you’d think!

  24. On December 23rd, 2011 at 6:55 am Miss Adventure Says:

    I’m in the same boat. I’ll read you if you’ll read me? 🙂

  25. On December 23rd, 2011 at 2:21 pm kate murphy Says:

    AGREED 🙂

  26. On December 27th, 2011 at 10:02 pm Kathleen Says:

    Well, counting me, you just got 3 new readers. Hope that makes up for that one prissy bitch!

  27. On December 23rd, 2011 at 6:03 am Amy Says:

    Hope everything goes well.

  28. On December 23rd, 2011 at 6:54 am Miss Adventure Says:

    And this is where I would enjoy if the world cut you guys a break. Just saying.

    Hope Daver’s all right. I’d bail you out if I wasn’t broke, lol. XD

  29. On December 23rd, 2011 at 9:01 am By Word of Mouth Musings Says:

    Is this the bodies way of protecting of all the partying you would otherwise be doing/
    No fun … but hope you wear the scrubs home!

  30. On December 23rd, 2011 at 12:08 pm Jonah Gibson Says:

    I was reminded of course of the story of the Vestigial Virgins of Rome, keepers of the eternal flame of Vesta, which, as we all know, now resides in the London offices of Virgin Airways and is soon to be carried into space aboard the first commercial space-liner. It is good that we have organs, Hammonds are my favorite although it’s hard to beat a good old-fashioned custom pipe beastie for tonal off-putting, to remind us of important cultural and historical phenomena like virgins that have fallen into the dusty bins of ‘that’s so yesterday’.

  31. On December 23rd, 2011 at 12:13 pm Jonah Gibson Says:

    Sorry I confused Vesta, ancient goddess of useless things like nipples on men, with Vestigia, ancient goddess of dead ends and double entry bookkeeping, not that there is much difference between the two when you think about it. Funny that both should require the servitude of virgins though, don’t you think?

  32. On December 23rd, 2011 at 12:58 pm lorraine Says:

    Nurse Becky,
    You slay me.
    Nurse Lorraine
    Merry vestigal Festivus!

  33. On December 23rd, 2011 at 10:07 pm Sue at Naperville Now Says:

    you go, nurse Becky (but don’t forget to wash your hands first). Tell Daver to hang in there. I had my appy out 100 years ago. I hear the technology is waaay better now.

  34. On December 28th, 2011 at 10:13 pm habanerogal Says:

    That manufacturer really ought to recall those appendixy bits seems they cause nothing but grief for such a big proportion of the populace. Cheers to the Daver. As my DD would exclaim welcome to club “shitblood” (long story)

  35. On April 8th, 2012 at 5:54 pm Brittany Says:

    As an avid mullet junkie, I respectfully demand under threat of death any awesome shots you may gets of aforementioned hairy goodness. Many thanks!

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