Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

As Thick As Blood


When I was a kid, on the list of things I would have happily gnawed off my own limbs for was a sibling. A whole MESS of siblings. Didn’t matter which brand–Japanese mushroom or cheeseburger–I just wanted more.

I had a pack of neighborhood kids that I chummed around with from sun-up until sun-down during the summer and after school most days (I don’t remember having as much homework as my kid gets) and that was all well and good, and I even was always pretty well liked in school. But I wanted a pack of siblings. A HUGE family.

My tiny nuclear family, well, most of them ignored me and I was a really lonely kid. I did have an older brother whose attention I vied for like an overzealous puppy, always shocked when he kicked me away, but eager to try again. Even at age 8, I was nothing if not persistent and shockingly transparent in my desire to be liked.

Luckily, while I didn’t outgrow my persistence, I did outgrow the gene that made me care if people liked me, but I never did outgrow the desire for a big family.

If you haven’t poured through my archives with a fine-toothed comb to discover that *gasp* my eldest was born *gasp* out of wedlock *gasp* and sired by another *gasp* father, well, he was, but if you haven’t, it’s because we don’t make a big deal out of it here at Casa de la Sausage.

Anyway. It’s not a dirty little secret or anything, it’s just not that important to us, because, really, it’s kind of old news now. But after I was pregnant with him and before I had met The Daver (this was a shockingly narrow window), I knew that I wanted to have more children, and, being the planner that I am, I wanted to have them closer together than my own brother and I are.

Part of the problems (but really, only a small part) that my brother and I faced were that we are ten years apart. What do an eight year old and an eighteen year old have in common? Fuck-NOTHING. The other problems are farther below the surface and much more purulent, so let’s just stick with the age difference, shall we?

Luckily, The Daver came along before I had to think about begging my male friends for a shot of their Man Juice–can you imagine the awkwardness? Because I can’t–and I would happily have dropped trou and tried to start makin’ babies well before I was Mrs. Aunt Becky Sherrick Harks.

The Daver is more traditional than I am (I know, you’re shocked), so we waited until after the wedding to cook up a couple of crotch parasites. I got pregnant with Alex as we were nearing our one year anniversary and Amelia as we were nearing our third. And no, to clear up any pesky rumors, we have no affection for the letter “a”.

I mean, it’s a good letter and all, and it’s a vowel so that makes it awesome by association, but if I had to BE a vowel, I would be “sometimes y”. Wouldn’t you?

It was weird the amount of ominous flack I got from people as I lugged Alex and Ben around, largely pregnant with my third.

“You’re going to be busy…” people would cluck meaningfully at me, obviously disdainful of my “delicate condition”

“Wow… you have your hands FULL,” others would sort of sneer, as I heaved a box of diapers and Alex, never offering to lift a finger to help.

While I appreciate that everyone is entitled to have an opinion on everything, and what comes out of (or, apparently, goes INTO) my vagina is no different, this was really not their call to make. They never liked to hear it when I told them as much, but come on, how rude could you be. I had 3 kids, not thirty. My uterus wasn’t exactly a clown-car yet.

But no, thank YOU, Mr. Fuckface, I appreciate you loudly judging me in front of my children, I have it under control. And you know what, I do. I still have it under control even now that I’m only pregnant with a burrito baby.

I sit in the other room sometimes, the baby banging merrily away in her saucer, gnawing on a pair of metal measuring spoons that were her older brother’s favorite toy too, screaming joyfully, her voice echoing against the glass door and bouncing back again.

Mingling with it are the indistinguishable voices of her older brothers, who have–5 years apart–the same tone and timbre of voice (without the words, I cannot tell them apart) as they scream delightedly together, piling on top of each other like squirmy puppies.

They are happy. My children, they are happy.

And I smile quietly to myself, as I sit there listening, knowing that if I do nothing else right for the rest of my life, I have done this right.

My children, I have done right by.

88 Comments to

“As Thick As Blood”

  1. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:32 am dubiousMa Says:

    You should put a disclaimer on here: DO NOT EVEN SKIM THIS POST IF YOU ARE PMSing…
    Then I would have read that and not be sitting here crying like I just found out the tooth fairy is really a drag queen with a thing for enamel

  2. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:03 pm Kelly Says:

    I know what you mean! I only had one sibling and she is a bitch who is also 15 years older than me. I have always wanted the big family i didn’t have growing up. Being pregnant with my fourth when my 3rd is only 9 months, you wouldnt believe the stupid comments I get. Just another thing to make me wonder who it is every day that unleashes all these morons into the world!

  3. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:30 am Pamela Says:

    That is so very sweet!

    Whats it to other people how many kids you have? You can never have enough in other peoples views and sometimes you have enough. I always get told when are you going to have more kids?

    What was I saying again?

  4. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:30 am Libby Says:

    Why do people think they have a right to comment on family situations? I mean, unless you are the Duggars and inviting it, people should STFU! it doesn’t matter how many kids you have, or what their ages are, there is always someone ready to comment.

    It’s why I carry mace.

  5. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:31 am Kristen McD Says:

    I only have 2. Five years apart. But I often have cousins tagging along. And it’s then that I get the “you’ve got your hands full!”

    And all I can do is be thankful. Because, better full. Better full than empty. I would take full eighteen times over. Better full.

  6. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm Rebecca Says:

    I sometimes get it harshly from rudeness. I have a 4 year old who has thankfully been very healthy, but my 2 year old has had it all and then some. People always look at me with pity and ask if we are done having children……URGH! Of course, they look at my son’s braced leg and freak out and tell me crap like “You should have (should be) given him more milk and calcium/VitaminD” “You need to be more careful with that poor baby” (when he was 6 months old wearing a full leg cast) It also sucks when people who don’t even know me give me the eye…… eye that says “I know you’re a child abuser because how else would a child so young have broken his leg”

  7. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:34 am dg at diaryofamadbathroom Says:

    Uterus as a clown car may be my favorite analogy EVER. Wonder if Bozo the Octomom ever heard that one!

  8. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:35 pm Kate Says:

    Love this post!

    My 7 are awesome kids, but general society doesn’t see them as such. What they see is a passel of kids with disabilities and therefore I am a fucking idiot for continuing to procreate when I obviously can’t make a normal child. ‘Cuz only kids who don’t have visible disabilities are acceptable in this world, don’tchaknow.

    I hear, “Tell me you aren’t having any more!” on a regular basis. I usually smile and say, “Not today!” It’s no one’s business whether I have a uterine clown car or not. They aren’t the ones raising or supporting my kids, so why do they care if I have 7 or 17?

    I’m also here to say that kids with a large age gap CAN be extremely close. My 17 year old has a special bond with his 3.5 year old brother. It’s lovely to see.

    You ARE blessed, Aunt Becky, and I agree that you’ve done well by your kids. Any dissenter needs to have a big ‘ol cup of STFU and then choke on it.

  9. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:36 pm Jennifer Says:

    I get this all the time too. When did 3 kids become way too many? Asshats.

  10. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:37 pm Trista Says:

    Ack, I have something in my eye..uhuh yeah, that explains the moisture….this was very sweet, and you deserve to feel proud about having happy kids – that’s not as easily achieved as some think.

    I made peace long ago with the fact that certain people feel entitled to have an opinion on EVERYTHING and have no qualms about expressing it, especially where my kid is concerned (this spans everything from why I didn’t – couldn’t – breastfeed beyond 5 months to why she’s not *gasp* baptised).
    I’m an only child and kind of preferred it that way (no sharing), but I feel the need to provide my kid with siblings – I like the idea of having more than one child, and I hope that I can have them close enough in age that they will be close as a result.

  11. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:38 am injaynesworld Says:

    What a lovely (fucking awesome) piece. I bet you’re a wonderful (kick-ass) mom. Your kids are blessed (hell-yes lucky) to have you. Seriously good piece, Becky…

  12. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:38 am Kerrie Says:

    My older sister and I are 4 1/2 years apart….Gotta say – other than a few friends and quite a few miles that separate us – She’s probably my best friend. It’s my only regret for my daughter…I wanted more. He didn’t. Children aren’t something you force on someone – especially if they don’t want them. And I have a happy healthy little girl. I’m happy with that.

  13. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:39 am COURTENAY Says:

    Damn im jealous. I wish I was that confident in my parenting.

  14. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:48 am Stacey Says:

    Nicely done cyber lover. Want to have one more for me and just hand it over when it’s perfect?

  15. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:49 am Lannie Says:

    Aww 🙂

  16. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:50 pm IB Says:

    We stopped at 1 because…honestly, we just don’t do well with babies (or puppies). So, the world needs people like you because there’s more than a few of us incompetents out here.

    Knock yourself out.

  17. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:50 pm amber Says:

    Misty. Yes, I am a bit misty. Lovely post…I want my daughter to have that closeness too, while the hub would rather stick with one. But I’ll win. I (almost) always do.

  18. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:53 am Ashley Says:

    I want you to adopt me. Please?

    You are a good momma to your kids, an excellent friend (to me, anyhow – especially for never having met me in person), and a generally nice person. The Golden Rule really does exist; and you, my darling Aunt Becky, have thus far abided by it in my eyes.

    *Hug* You know I love ya. 🙂

  19. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:57 am andrea Says:

    i have 4 kids 11, 9, 7 & 4 and would hear the same thing from people all the time! my favorite was always ” WOW you must have your hands FULL” to which I would say ” And?”

  20. On September 25th, 2009 at 11:59 am Kelly Says:

    I had to reread “only pregnant with a burrito baby” several times before I got it. It still feels like a Monday to me today. I was starting to wonder if the casa de la sausages were expecting another sausage/pink taco into the clan.

  21. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:00 pm Potty Mouth Mommy Says:

    your tweet was right… I AM misty….

    I want what you have… but instead, I’m going to end up with a ten year old with a baby sibling… HOPEFULLY… and unless it’s twins.. we’ll be essentially raising two *only* child(ren). Yay for me!!

    It sucks that you feel like you’re judged- I remember the looks I used to get as a 21 y.o. single mom (by choice dammit- I made a MATURE decision to not raise a child in an abusive environment)- it was like everyone assumed I was just some hussy out giving it up to any old Tom, Dick and Harry… It used to make me mad- now I kind of wish I HAD just been some hubby getting knocked up randomly- then I wouldn’t have the quandry I’m in now…

  22. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:12 pm a Says:

    There are 7 years between me and the next sibling I actually get along with… and 1 year between my next sister and me. I would have been OK with being an only child.

    I really don’t know why people want to comment on the lives of random strangers. It is my personal philosophy that women with 2 children retain some semblance of sanity, but women with 3 children are kinda crazy. I like to share that with my friends who have 3 children (and my oldest sister – she was my first observation of the phenomenon), but I wouldn’t share it with you if I ran into you in the grocery store. Unless I knew you. Because you’d expect that of me anyway.

  23. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:14 pm ZDub Says:

    I heart Aunt Becky.

  24. On September 25th, 2009 at 1:15 pm Lola Says:

    Ah, I always try to help the mommies trying to maneuver around Target with three kids in tow, and I couldn’t care less how many kids people have. Your uteruses (what the fuck is the plural of uterus? Uteri?) are yours to do with what you please.

    Me? My sister was eight years older than me, and she never could stand me, but I had my brother a year and a half behind me to hang out with or beat up or whatever. Our only human child seems quite happy being the only one. He does have three dogs and two cats to play with and his three cousins right next door.

    So, he’s never lonely and seems quite relieved when he comes home and shuts the door on the annoying cousins that follow him relentlessly as soon as he steps outside. If he desperately wants siblings, he never says, and he wouldn’t get one anyway. My uterus is retired!

  25. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:20 pm kckarla Says:

    I love the comment about what do a 8 and 18 year old have in common? My sister is 8 years older and my brother is 6 years older than me. So when I told people I never played Monopoly growing up…they couldn’t understand. By the time I got to the age I was old enough to understand how to play the fricken game, both of my sibblings were well into their teens. Somehow a board game loses the thrill when you are continually kicking the shit out of a third grader and your friends are going to football games and partys. I can’t say that I blame them…If the tables were turned I wouldn’t have wanted to handle that gig either. As we’ve gotten older the gap has gotten smaller, but I’m not making plans to play monopoly any time soon.

  26. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:25 pm Fawn - Like A Deer Says:

    I have four kids, NOT by the same dad, although I was married to each dad at one time or another. Still, I feel the glaring judgement coming from everyone to whom I try to explain the situation.

    I’m at the ballpark – my 7 year old son has a game.

    Other parent: “Hey, where are your other kids today?”
    Me: “They’re with their dads this weekend.”
    OP: “Their…dads?? Plural?”
    Me: “Yes…well, my older two, their dad lives in *** and the youngest, her dad lives in ***, so I just have Carson today.”
    OP: blink. blink. “Huh…so….how many dads?”

    Me: “OMG. Just forget it.”

    Every. Damn. Time.

    Anyhow…my kids ARE happy, dammit. And they count each other as sisters and brothers, no matter who their baby daddy. So screw the world.

  27. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:26 pm Nitza Says:

    I almost died at “burrito baby.” OMG Aunt Becky, we are the same, you and I! Well, re: the burrito baby, that is. As for the happy cacophony, I’m not quite there yet, but I hope to do as good a job someday 🙂 <3

  28. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:27 pm Amanda@LadyScientist Says:

    People really comment on this? That’s just incredibly rude. Especially without offering to help with the diapers. My brother and I are two years apart and it’s worked out reasonably well. I wouldn’t say we’re BFFs or anything, but we like each other. And that says quite a bit. 🙂

    And you’re right. I’m all misty. Or it’s the fumes from the chemical hood. Probably the fumes.

  29. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    I have 2 boys, 15 months apart in age. When Mayhem was still a baby and people were not commenting on how overwhelmed I must be with 2 so close together, they were wondering when I was going to start ‘trying for a girl’ Because you have to have both genders, and apparently it’s ok to have them really close in age if you are going for the correct gender balance & you failed with the last one.

  30. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:33 pm jasmine Says:


    You are so confident in your parenting, thank you!! Reading this made me make a promise to myself that I am going to be more confident in the decisions I make regarding my little monsters.

    My favorite thing to say to people when they ask if I am having more, is no, are you? Nothing like throwing it back as someone to get them off my case. I say this to EVERYONE from my 70 yr old aunt to the teachers at daycare.

  31. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:39 pm Carissa Says:

    I feel the same way about the people who ask me, “So when will we hear the pitter-patter of little feet?” or any other equally nauseating variation. I’m always tempted to say things like, “Oh, maybe when YOU have a(nother) kid” or “Thanks for asking about MY sex life, but I’d really rather you just worried about YOURS.”

    You have some lucky, lucky children . . . they have amazing siblings, a great dad, and, I think, an incomparable mom. Yeah, your hands are full . . . full of GOODNESS, yo.

  32. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:41 pm Nel Says:

    I LOVED that post. It was perfect.

  33. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:44 pm Mrs Soup Says:

    You are an amazing mother. Your babies are seriously lucky to have you. Anyone else can go fuck themselves. 🙂

    And I would have helped you with the box of diapers.

  34. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:47 pm kalakly Says:

    absofuckinglutely lady, you did:)

  35. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:50 pm Coco Says:

    I am NOT crying. I have a splinter in my eye.



  36. On September 25th, 2009 at 12:57 pm Amy d Says:

    You have three of the most beautiful kids I have ever laid eyes on. They’re happy and healthy and really….isn’t that all that matters in this life?

    Have a great weekend Bex:)

  37. On September 25th, 2009 at 1:03 pm Ed Says:

    Two here, 12.9 months apart, similar dubious marital circumstances. Know what? Who the fuck cares about any of it. Our sons are healthy, happy, more loved than I ever was and Corsican Brothers-inseparable. So not to sound egotistical or anything, but I KICK PARENTHOOD’S ASS! And those of us who do should be proud.
    Also, LOVE Libby’s mace idea. Totally stealing that.

  38. On September 25th, 2009 at 1:04 pm Sara @ Life with the Two Says:

    Dude, I just love you.

    Every time someone mentions my girls being so close together in age (and it’s OBVIOUSLY because Hubs and I hump like bunnies…) I roll my eyes in a way that I have been told scares people. When really I just want to tell them all the juicey details of how we got pregnant so soon after our first was born. Think that would shut them up?

  39. On September 25th, 2009 at 1:08 pm Lucy Says:

    It ain’t like you’re the Octomom or anything.
    If people can’t take a joke (or that fact that you have 3 kids), fuck em.

  40. On September 25th, 2009 at 1:09 pm C @ Kid Things Says:

    My brother and I are 7 years apart and as close as siblings can be with such an age difference. I always wanted to hang out with him, he had better things to do. I used to wish that I had someone closer my age within the family, though. So I always knew that I wanted my kids to be closer in age (they’re each about 2.5 years apart). My mom, however, thinks I’m nuts.

  41. On September 25th, 2009 at 1:30 pm kyslp Says:

    Sniff, sniff. That was very sweet.

    I was a lonely little child, too and longed for siblings close to my age. (My asshat brother is 11 years older than me.) I had to resort to imaginary friends and an imaginary pet dog, too.

  42. On September 25th, 2009 at 2:33 pm KyBraith Says:

    Dear Aunt Becky,
    Thanks for writing this. I laughed out loud. I loved it.
    Love, Ky

  43. On September 25th, 2009 at 1:50 pm kbrients Says:

    I almost peed my pants when I read….

    My uterus wasn’t exactly a clown-car yet.

    I love you.

  44. On September 25th, 2009 at 1:52 pm Krissa Says:

    I LOVE it! And I totally agree! My two girls are 17.5 months apart and while my mother was the most aghast at my “wham, bam, thank-you-mam, vagina parties, I am so happy they have each other!
    Right after I squirted out #2 she began showing up at my house to see the kids every day, (as per normal procedure), saying, “So, how are ALL my babies today?” After I got a bit annoyed and pointed out that I only made it into the plural by ONE BABY, she shut up. But I still remember feeling slightly aggravated by her telling me that “It’s just so much trouble.” and “You should let Kessa at least enjoy being a baby for a while.”, as if she would morph into a teenager the moment her baby sister was born. And she did all this AFTER I got preggers. Like WTF am I gonna do now, even if I DID buy in to it?
    Heh. YOU will always be your very best support system!

  45. On September 25th, 2009 at 3:05 pm Kristin Says:

    I have never understood what it is about pregnancy and child rearing that makes people think they can say whatever they want o you.

    And, while your uterus isn’t a clown car, I think Michelle Duggar‘s is.

  46. On September 25th, 2009 at 2:06 pm Mwa Says:

    It’s the best feeling, isn’t it? I was so sure I was going to be a terrible mother, and now I can be so happy that I’m not.

    I would like a third, too, and have been told by other people with third children that it’s perfectly normal in Belgium to be asked if it was an accident. Assumed, even. Because two is now the standard. I don’t care. I love the crotch parasites. (I used to just call them parasites, but I like your term much better. You’ll probably end up in the dictionary.)

  47. On September 25th, 2009 at 2:09 pm lifelaughlatte Says:

    I think I have ADD because I pretty much refuse to read any blog with more than 2-3 paragraphs…but I would read 2-3 pages of anything you write! Thanks for another great article! New at this blogging stuff…but you inspire me to be better. Anyone want to come on over and look at my 4 articles/videos at It’s lonely over there.

  48. On September 25th, 2009 at 3:02 pm Sue Robinson Says:

    I hate when people make comments like that. I go grocery shopping with both my kids because I don’t want to do it a night when they are sleeping, I think that is soul-crushing.

    I put my 7 month old in the sling and my 2.5 yro in the cart. People look at me and say thing like, “Your brave.”

    Brave? These are my kids! What am I supposed to do? Leave them on the fucking curb while I relax at the grocery store. They are my kids, they go with me everywhere.

    I wish people would just think before they speak.

    Ugh…thanks, I needed that. Can’t you tell I just went to the grocery?

  49. On September 25th, 2009 at 3:07 pm Kori Says:

    Hm, if you count the child I chose adoption for, I have birthed 5 children by four different men-and for three of the 5 I was married to the father. go figure that out, and then fuck you for thinking I am a slut (not the specific you, the collective you, you know? It is what it is). Once I got over the wierdness of it all, well, I just decided that my kinds were going to be siblings no matter who their fathers are, and life is sweet.

    Though actually writing those words in black and white kind of does make me sound slutty. I kind of wish I had BEEN more slutty, becuase that sounds kind of fun. i think it is way too late for that, though.

  50. On September 25th, 2009 at 4:36 pm Badass Geek Says:

    The image of your uterus, with a dozen clowns spilling out of it like a clown car, will likely keep me awake tonight.

    Even though your uterus is, no doubt, sexy as hell, the imagery will just be too much for my feeble mind.

  51. On September 25th, 2009 at 3:41 pm Venti Vixen Says:

    Uterus/Clown Car comment? Thumbs WAY up! OMG, hilarious!

    Sweet post!

  52. On September 25th, 2009 at 5:02 pm Nan Says:

    It’s a strange thing, three kids. Everyone is so helpful when you have two, but a third on the way? So soon? Obviously our OWN FAULT! We must be mad or something!

    Now, my number 3 was ‘an accident’, but the joy that he brings to me and to his brothers is huge. I cannot imagine life without him! He completes our family. And listening to them play, roughouse and laugh together is the best thing ever. They love each other so much, and I am so happy they have each other.

  53. On September 25th, 2009 at 4:40 pm Brianna Says:

    Funny thing is, I DIDN’T mean for my kids to be so close together, and I got it anyway. LOL I admire your determination for doing it intentionally. I wanted mine 2-3 years apart, either 2 or 3 of them (wasn’t sure until we got knocked up with #3, which sorta ended the debate) and instead I got barely a year between the first and second, and a third due three years later.

    At least I got the timing right 50% of the time. Bwuahaha.

  54. On September 25th, 2009 at 4:41 pm rebekah Says:

    And here I was thinking at the end you were going to say: so, I’m pregnant with another bozo.

    Yet, no.

  55. On September 25th, 2009 at 4:46 pm Kristine Says:

    You know, I’ve always believed that people should have as many children as they can handle – and no more…and that number for some people is zero – and for some people it’s 18 – and it’s really none of my business as long as I don’t have to pay for them (either through welfare or when they grow up and become incarcerated.)

    We’ve settled on 2, maybe 3 – and we’re even kind of wavering on the 2 thing…I’m just sayin’.

  56. On September 25th, 2009 at 5:33 pm Sunny Says:

    What a sweet post. 🙂 And well-timed for me. Being pregnant with twins and having an 18-month-old son… well, you could say I’m flipping-the-shit-out at the prospect of birthing three kids in two years. If I am not certifiably insane already, I will be quite shortly. Sometimes I fear that we should have stopped while we were ahead (i.e. when our infertility treatments worked the first time) and not attempted to have more kids after our son. Will he suffer when the twins come and pull all of our attention on them? But it’s nice to be reminded about the joy that siblings bring to each other — one day, they will be old enough to (hopefully) appreciate it.

  57. On September 25th, 2009 at 5:35 pm honeywine Says:

    Can I imagine the awkwardness? Ummm…have you forgotten that Paladin’s plan to knock me up includes man cream from his 61 year old father? THAT, my dear, is awkward. LOL

  58. On September 25th, 2009 at 5:37 pm Melanie Says:

    I don’t think I will have more than one. The Duggars really actually piss me off. But you make me happy. Very, very happy. Please have more children because the world needs more people like you that will make people happy.

  59. On September 25th, 2009 at 6:00 pm Another Melanie Says:

    I have 5, ages 10-8-6-4.5-3 and would have 5 more if I were younger. Soooo tired of being asked “are they all yours?”. Soooo tired of the shocked looks from people when they find out that the 3 or 4 that happen to be with me aren’t all we have. Soooo tired of hearing how expensive college is going to be, as if we should be guilty about it. I like telling people with 6 kids that they must be nuts!

  60. On September 25th, 2009 at 6:04 pm Liz in Virginia Says:

    It cracks me up ( but not in a good way) how people always assumed that my third child was an accident, a mistake, a surprise, a disappointment — find the word for the way people can make really lame and false and utterly ignorant assumptions about another person’s life choices, intelligence or parenting philosophy.

    This youngest urchin of mine is a gift, a wonder, a blessing, a challenge, a child I strove mightily to conceive. She is my reward.

    I’ve loved your blog for quite some time. Hope you like mine:

  61. On September 25th, 2009 at 7:18 pm Sarah Says:

    You totally did right by your kids. 🙂

  62. On September 25th, 2009 at 6:56 pm Beautiful Mess Says:

    You DID do right by them! You’re a great mom!

    After we had Nae, I didn’t want to get pregnant right away. I wanted to wait until she was 2 to start trying. If only I knew it was going to take us 5 years to get pregnant, I probably wouldn’t have been so stressed out about it. I sometimes think about what our life would be like if we did have those two babies that ended in miscarriage. But, obviously we wouldn’t have Zilla. Sometimes it sucks to have them 6 years apart, but generally it isn’t too bad. It’s challenging, but what isn’t, right?

  63. On September 25th, 2009 at 7:28 pm Bella Says:

    Hi, I’m a new reader, and I just wanted to say I LOVE your blog. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry, and I can’t get enough. I even gave your blog a shout-out on mine, and added you to my blogroll.

  64. On September 25th, 2009 at 7:32 pm Stone Fox Says:

    i need to bitch, here, about the people who have said the same things to me. yeah, i AM AWARE that i have three kids under 5. guess what? my hands ARE full. i AM busy. some days i struggle with getting it all done and keeping it all together and making sure there is more laughter than tears. sometimes i’m not very successful. so, Total Stranger, now you can sleep tonight knowing your unspoken judgment of me is correct. asshole.

    aunt becky, i think you are an awesome mom. thanks for not always pretending it’s easy. cause two kids, a big pregnant belly, and a box of diapers is not fucking easy. 🙂

  65. On September 25th, 2009 at 9:08 pm April Says:

    My sister and I are 12 years apart and it sucked. My girls are 3 years apart and yes life can be hectic but I can’t wait until they’re old enough to play together.

  66. On September 25th, 2009 at 8:11 pm Chris Says:

    Yeah, I’m never quite sure why people think two is OK, but three is too many. I had a girl, then a boy, and then another boy, and people ask me why I didn’t just stop with #2 because I had one of each! WTF? Is it actually any of your business? Our youngest is such a perfect addition to our life, and I can’t imagine it without him. Yeah, we WERE being careless when I got pregnant with him, but again, NOT YOUR BUSINESS!!

    So go back to whatever rock you crawled out from under or I’ll sic my 5 year old on you and

  67. On September 25th, 2009 at 8:15 pm Ginger Magnolia Says:

    This makes me smile. 😀

    P.S. Last night, the boys and I were watching The Simpsons, and I heard Homer say, “It’s uterUS, not uterYOU!” I thought of my dear Aunt Becky. *Tear*

  68. On September 25th, 2009 at 8:25 pm Love Says:

    Everything everybody else said, with the addition of bravo on using the word Fuckface. You have made my weekend. Thank you.

  69. On September 25th, 2009 at 9:08 pm Beth Says:

    In the end, doing right by the kids is all that will really matter. Well done.

  70. On September 25th, 2009 at 9:27 pm Lisa Says:

    People always tend to have an opinion on someone else’ uterus. So much so I’ve decided I no longer need to have an opinion on my own. Strangers down at the shops will do that for me.

    We have a five year gap between our first *shock – out of wedlock* and our second and third *shock – out of wedlock again*. I think I’m a slow learner about the whole wedlock thing 😉

  71. On September 25th, 2009 at 9:46 pm kat Says:

    i would for sure be sometimes Y as well.

    nice post!

  72. On September 25th, 2009 at 9:50 pm Mama Cas Says:

    I’m sitting here trying to figure out when having 4 kids became OH MY GOD YOU HAVE FOUR KIDS?!?! Ours are 9 and 7 (both boys), 3 1/2 and 2 (both girls). We’ve had our share of bizarre comments and staring.

  73. On September 26th, 2009 at 12:38 am flutter Says:

    you’ve done right by YOU, too.

  74. On September 26th, 2009 at 2:32 am Totally deranged Says:

    AWESOME Becks! Just so awesome. We were never happy kids. I just love it when I see kids that are like yours. Way to go babe!

  75. On September 26th, 2009 at 5:59 am Wishing4One Says:

    You are awesome Aunt Becky, AWESOME.

    I wish i could have just one baby, and damn I can’t even get that? But I will next month right? (wink wink)

  76. On September 26th, 2009 at 6:34 am birdpress Says:

    I think it’s just something people say, the “you’ll have your hands full” thing. I never really considered it rude until you expressed your disgust with it in previous posts. Now I know never to say that to anyone! People also say similar things to those of us without children, not considering whether or not it is by choice. What can you do? We know better than to care what other people say, right?

  77. On September 26th, 2009 at 6:35 am Mommy on the Spot Says:

    I love this post. You captured all the mushiness of a loving family with no sarcasm spared. That takes true talent.

    I think it’s wonderful that you have been able to foster positive realationships between your kids. My sibling and I have little in common, even though we are only 17 months apart. I hope that my babes (3 years apart) have it better. Your house sounds like a fun and cozy place to hang out. Sounds like you did do right!

  78. On September 26th, 2009 at 11:26 am Lippy Says:

    my brother and I are very good friends and we always wish there was another one of us. This is a big reason I wanted 3 kids. And people act like I am crazy. Why is three just over the line? We get extra crap because we already had a boy and a girl, so why did we need another? Ummm maybe because we want to. My oldest has been asking when we are going to have a fourth. My kids are happy to have each other.

  79. On September 26th, 2009 at 12:50 pm Maria Says:

    I’ve always thought I only wanted/needed two. And after my 2nd, I had a tubal, because I was sure. And now, recently, I start thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad to have a third.

    Then I start thinking of everything I haven’t accomplished, the price of raising a kid, and the potential of being a Single Mom of 3 and I’m like…

    still confused.

  80. On September 26th, 2009 at 12:52 pm Maria Says:

    I just totally pre-ejaculated the comment all over your blog.
    I wanted to say that I think whatever # is right for you is right for you and I never think twice when I see people with more children than me. Unless it’s like 40. Which I never see, so yeah, I never think twice.

  81. On September 26th, 2009 at 3:08 pm Sue Says:

    Damn straight. It always amazes me how strangers feel they have the right to pass judgment — and to share that judgment with you. Because it never occurred to you that you’d be *busy*? That you’d have a wonderful house full of toys and noise and silliness? Of course, it did.

    Way to go, Becky. You totally rock.

  82. On September 26th, 2009 at 6:19 pm Alicia Says:

    I got these same reactions when I was pregnant with my third, and then again with my fourth. And now? Oh my God. If we ever go out together as a family, stand back. We get stares that no one even tries to hide. I don’t understand how you go from one (not enough) to two (perfect!) to three (WTF is wrong with you? (unless, of course, your first two are of the same sex, then that MIGHT be okay)) to four (you are completely fucking insane), especially when four was considered normal just a couple generations ago.

    They’re MY fucking crotch parasites, you know? They don’t bother anyone (except me). All of them were planned and wanted.

    My husband is an only child (of an only child), and I have just one (half-)brother, 10 years younger than me. If we wanted a big family (and we did), we had to DIY!

  83. On September 26th, 2009 at 10:17 pm Aunt Juicebox Says:

    Eh, ignore those assholes. Mostly, people say that kind of shit out of jealousy. They wish they had the balls to deal with what you’ve had to. Don’t be nice, don’t be polite, call them out. If they’re rude, let them know they’re rude. None of their damn bidness, if you ask me. Which, you didn’t. But hey, I love to give unsolicited advice, just like every other asshole out there.

  84. On September 27th, 2009 at 8:13 am Jenn Says:

    People suck! Someone actually told me once that you’re a bad person if you have more than two kids because it’s ruining the planet! Something about overpopulation. The real cause of overpopulation is that people live too damn long nowadays. 🙂

    As long as your family is healthy and happy, who gives a fuck how many are in it?

  85. On September 27th, 2009 at 10:54 am Chibi Jeebs Says:

    This one made me feel all warm and gooshy. Knock it off, eh?

    (You HAVE done right by your kids and you continue to do so. The happiness of all three of your children is proof of what an awesome parent you (and The Daver) are. <3 )

  86. On September 27th, 2009 at 11:00 am Christine Says:

    unless you are paying my bills, don’t comment on my choices – cause, well I don’t give a rat’s ass what your opinion is. Unless you want to tell me how brilliant I am, because then I will totally listen.

    Anyway. Keep on keepin’ on… you rock.

  87. On September 27th, 2009 at 4:13 pm Bluebird Says:

    “They are happy. My children, they are happy.”

    “My children, I have done right by.”

    My mother would say that there is no greater accomplishment. I tend to agree.

  88. On September 27th, 2009 at 8:09 pm Rachel Says:

    I only have the one kid, but something that shocked me when I got pregnant (OK, when I got past that awkward “Wait, is she really fat? Or pregnant? Can I say something about babies without offending her?” stage) was the amount of negative comments about newborns. No one would *think* of going up to a pregnant lady and saying “Dear God, labor is the worst fucking pain, you will wish for death, and attempt to kill your own husband!” because, you know, that’s terrible. But they think nothing of going up to her and saying “Haha, boy is your life about to change; everything you know and love will disappear, and also you won’t sleep for the first 6 weeks, haha!” And you know what? They’re all mothers. I think it’s a hazing thing.

    I was fine with the prospect of labor, it was the prospect of having an infant that terrified me. Bitches.

    Also, I’d totally be the “sometimes Y” too!

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