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Scars And Stripes


I’ve been pretty obsessive about documenting Amelia’s first days in this crazy mixed up world, although you’d probably not know it by looking at my blog. See, I always feel badly that the pictures are going to make my page load slowly although I don’t know if this is the case.

Either way, I’m going to start a Flicker account just like you crazy kids all have. My user name is MommyWantsVodka and here is the link. Then you can see just how badly I suck at taking pictures.

But I was just looking back to see if I’d taken any pictures of her third eyeball and it looks as though, nope, I didn’t. Probably a good thing since looking at it would make me weep openly. Hormonal, yes. Scary, also yes. My father, for those of you blessed to be my Facebook friend and be subjected to my status updates there (the only thing I’ve really done there. Which is stupid because it’s just like Twitter. Which I also have. Which, yeah.) posted one of the least flattering pictures of me that, well, I think might exist. You could see Amelia’s third eyeball there, but you’d probably not notice it because you’d be transfixed by the gigantic unkempt whale in the background.

I strong-armed him into removing it, thankfully, lest The Internet not find me sexy.

I may not have a picture of her third eyeball, but I do have this:

Oh, and this:

And this, which I warn you in all seriousness is pretty disturbing (it’s taken from far away, lest you all vomit onto your keyboard and send me the bill:

Yeah. I expected something a third that size and when the Asshole Nurse Practitioner (no really, that’s her name.) thoughtfully ripped the hat-shaped bandage from my poor daughter’s head, I nearly horked all over us all. Which, after she ripped out Amelia’s hair painfully, I probably should have. Bitch.


So, I suppose it’s a good thing that I’ve always thought scars were pretty neat. Because that one? HUGEMONGEOUS. You can’t probably tell from the angle which was deliberate, but it takes up most of the back of her head. It’s so foul looking that I spent our first night home crying over it.

Why yes, I am hormonal. My zit-covered face is pulsing proof!

Let’s just hope like hell that she never goes bald. Or if she does, she’s going to have to come up with one hell of a “this one time I was in a bar fight when I was like a month old. I cut a bitch!” story to regale people with. Or, I guess she could tell the truth. It’s a little scarier.

53 Comments to

“Scars And Stripes”

  1. On March 1st, 2009 at 5:45 pm Melissa Says:

    Personally, I like the “I was such a badass I got into a barfight at one month old, bitches!” angle.

    And while the incision looks really good from a medical standpoint, from a mommy standpoint it is awfulawfulawful, and the NP totally deserves a bitchslap or 10. May her next patient have MRSA of the nares and snot in her face for being such a douchechill.

  2. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:04 pm Danielle Says:

    I can’t say anything better then what Melissa said, nor should I try. So I’m going to cheat and DITTO her comment.

  3. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:18 pm swirl girl Says:

    I love that you have such an amazing sense of humor through all this. “I cut a bitch!” = a great line for her yearbook caption!

    LOL and {hugs}

  4. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:27 pm Anjali Says:

    Yes, well, looking at the scar makes me feel weepy, too.

    But I’m so, so glad she’s doing well.

  5. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:29 pm Jenn Says:

    Scar or no scar, she is beautiful! Nobody is even going to notice because they are going to be staring at her.

    Much like our stretch marks, it will all fade over time and be a badge of honor.

  6. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:35 pm Amanda Says:

    She’s beautiful. You do know how to make them. 🙂 I’m so glad that she’s doing so well. And I admire your restraint in not bitch-slapping the NP.

  7. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:36 pm Jen Anderson Says:

    She looks lovely. Make sure to keep pictures of the 3rd eye and scar somewhere because she’ll want to see them eventually. I was born with birth defects that were corrected by my wearing a brace on my feet for a few weeks/months. My mother was too upset to let anyone take pictures, so I have no idea what the thing looked like, or even what I looked like at that age.
    She’s so small now that she may not even have a noticeable scar when she grows up.

  8. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:51 pm Lainey-Paney Says:

    I ditto Melissa’s comments!
    It does look good clinically, but….so very out of place on her sweet head.
    And yes to Melissa’s comment about the Mega-Beast’s future patients—may they be very contagious!

  9. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:52 pm Ames Says:

    I won’t lie… the scar brought tears to my eyes. I am however so glad that everything went well and she is home with you where she belongs!

  10. On March 1st, 2009 at 6:54 pm magpie Says:

    I’ll bet you a nickel that you’ll not see that scar in a couple of months. They heal so fast.

  11. On March 1st, 2009 at 7:35 pm Mrs.spit Says:

    I cried a bit when I saw it, and then I thought “nah”. With 2 older brothers? This wee one is going to show it off. She’s going to tell stories about how she got it, and they will grow in the telling, and she will be the kid that charges everyone a quarter to see it.

    Hugs Mummy. This will be ok.

  12. On March 1st, 2009 at 7:40 pm Maria Says:

    Holy SHIT dude.

    I may have missed the announcement but did pathology come back on it yet?

    She is a trooper, man.

  13. On March 1st, 2009 at 7:45 pm michelle Says:

    Gulp. Big ass scar, yes. Little sister of two brothers? she can SO handle it. Little girl of Aunt Becky? Wach it, bitches, this baby got ‘tude for sure. She will not only grow into this scar, she will most likely be complaining it is too light, shaving the back of her head one halloween and painting it up with blood and gore as part of her costume making poor mommy want to kill her. Yeah, kids got spunk, I tell ya.

  14. On March 1st, 2009 at 7:52 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:

    That is a big cut, but for your sake, I’m glad it’s all over now! And seriously, could you have more gorgeous kids already?!

  15. On March 1st, 2009 at 8:12 pm Michelle Says:

    She is adorable, big staple line and all. You would be amazed at how quickly kids heal. She may not even have much of a scar. But tell her she does so she won’t go all Britney on you as a teen and shave her head!

  16. On March 1st, 2009 at 9:00 pm Coco Says:

    Oh, babe. Listen, one of the best things about being a new member of the planet is that you heal awesomely.

    Bean split his forehead open last summer and between the actual injury, him pulling out all the stitches and then poking at it until there was a huge, icky wound and scar I thought “My only hope is long bangs”. But you can really barely tell now.

    I honestly think in a few months it will be amazingly hard to find.

    Also? Your kids are gorgeous. Of course.

  17. On March 1st, 2009 at 9:10 pm Dre Says:

    My brother in law had to have surgery to fix a skull abnormality when he was 8 months old. He has a nasty scar that goes basically from ear to ear over his head like a hairband. However, it wasn’t too noticeable until he joined the Navy and had to get a serious hair cut. Of course the questions keep coming… he tells them he is from Detroit, was involved in a gun fight, and got shot in the head. usually shuts them right up. Thank God your beautiful little girl came through with flying colors. With a mommy like you, she will have the perfect smart ass comments to shut up any one who asks.

  18. On March 1st, 2009 at 9:15 pm heather Says:

    Poor little Amelia; stupid Asshole Nurse Practitioner skank. How’s she doing (sweet baby not the nasty nurse)?

    You did NOT look like a whale. It was a sweet photo, and I didn’t notice the cyst in the photo.

    Are you breathing now? She beautiful!

  19. On March 1st, 2009 at 9:26 pm Jenn Says:

    1) I love pictures. If people don’t like it when your page loads slowly (it really doesn’t, even with photos, in my experience) then too fucking bad. People need to ditch the dial-up already. 😉

    2) I super love flickr and have already added you. Though flickr takes longer to load than your page.

    3) You have facebook? I am so going to stalk you on there.

    4) I would have cried about the scar. And then bawled and wailed too. But, as I am a friend I am obligated to say something “helpful” like… it’s not SO bad. Or… hey, at least it will be covered by hair! Or… it could be worse.

    5) In all seriousness, I am honestly just so very glad that she is all right. She is one lucky little girl to have you for a mom.

    6) Plus, scar and all it’s still one sweet little head. She’s absolutely precious. xoxo

    7) It smells like chicken in here. Old chicken. I should stop being lazy and take out the trash. Thought you should know.

  20. On March 1st, 2009 at 9:31 pm a Says:

    Well, I imagine that when she’s older, should anyone ever see the scar, she’ll have a new and more amusing story every day…just like mom! But she’ll probably start with…Well my brothers were totally jealous of how mom loved me the best, so they tried to rub me out. But I was a really strong baby, so I knocked their heads together until they agreed to worship me daily…

    Beautiful baby – glad she’s home safe and sound!

  21. On March 1st, 2009 at 9:50 pm Meghan Says:

    Shoulda puked on the Bitch;) I think it would serve her right;) I love the one of the boys…too cute.

  22. On March 1st, 2009 at 10:06 pm Jennifer Says:

    one day our kids can get together and compare scars…and bar fight stories. my son had heart surgery when he was three weeks old. i mean, he was crawling down a dark ally and got jumped by two brothas from the wrong side of town. they jacked him up real bad.

  23. On March 1st, 2009 at 10:27 pm Melanie Says:

    poor thing! I am just glad she is past the surgery and on to life after…. my daughters hemangioma (while not anywhere near that size) really makes people wonder about what happened to her, I am amazed at how many people don’t realize its a birthmark…. most think I somehow managed to put a strawberry looking mark right on her forehead (maybe by dropping her???). While i am looking forward to the day it goes away (as they tell me 70% of them do by age 7)………its hard not to want it to be gone now. I think she is perfect, I just wish others saw her that way too!!! (and I am sure you are feeling similar feelings…… maybe).

  24. On March 1st, 2009 at 10:46 pm kalakly Says:

    When Amelia comes to visit, she and my daughter can share horror stories of little girl wounds. My daughter got her hand up and under a running upright vaccuum which then burned all the skin right off the back of her hand. THANK GOD she doesn’t remember it, but like you will with Amelia, I sure as hell do. In fact I think I need to go take a valium now.

    So glad you’re both back where you belong.

  25. On March 1st, 2009 at 10:58 pm excavator Says:

    So we don’t get to see the third eye, but the other two are pretty cute.

    Shame on the NP, who has obviously lost her sensitivity along the way.

  26. On March 2nd, 2009 at 1:17 am Heather P. Says:

    Yikes that’s a scary scar!
    Amelia has such a serious look on her little face. She’s such a doll!
    The boys and the dog are just too cute!
    Still praying for Amelia and you, the Lord is going to bring you through this!

  27. On March 2nd, 2009 at 4:16 am SCY Says:

    She’s gorgeous Becks! And don’t kill me right, but the incision does not look too bad from that angle at all… can you put tissue oil on it to help it heal?


  28. On March 2nd, 2009 at 4:34 am Betty M Says:

    Ahh she is a cutie scar or no scar.

  29. On March 2nd, 2009 at 6:16 am SciFi Dad Says:

    She’s beautiful, and from what I have been told, cuts from this age don’t scar like those when we’re older. I have nothing to base this on, but it’s what I’ve heard. Hopefully, hers will fade in time too.

  30. On March 2nd, 2009 at 6:36 am Cathy Says:

    When she’s 14 and says “I’m going to shave my head and you can’t stop me!” you will have to pull out scar pictures and say “oh yeah? YEAH? You go ahead and shave your head then.” It’ll at least make her think twice.

    You’re braver than I about taking pictures though. I have very very few that showcase the less pleasant aspects of our first year, and they are hidden 3 folders deep.

  31. On March 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 am Tiffany @ My Random Wisdom Says:

    for some reason, I expected it doesn’t look too bad to me, but then it isn’t *my* childs it is YOUR baby’s it always seems worse..

    I bet it will fade *a lot* as she gets older…but lets just hope she doesn’t wanna shave her head…

    and srsly, you should have hurked all over that NP..biznatch

  32. On March 2nd, 2009 at 7:17 am Janet Says:

    I have a scar on my neck from brain surgery about 2 and a half years ago. My cousin at one time had her boyfriend convinced that I got the scar because I was shot in a gang fight.

  33. On March 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am Rachel Says:

    I still cry sometimes when I look at the scar that goes all the way across Farty’s belly. It’s a reminder to never take our kids for granted, even when they’re making us nuts.
    SO happy you’re home. Let the normal begin.

  34. On March 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am Madame Yu See Says:

    Or, she could just say “You think this is bad? You should see what I did to the month-old bitch who put her hand on my mom’s boob.”
    (I was also expecting smaller due to the speed surgery being done in 45 min., but maybe that’s how they got it done so fast – through a large incision.)
    Going to check out the flickr pix now. She’s so cute, makes me glad I’m post-menopausal, or I’d buy some sperm online and have another one.

  35. On March 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am Mantra Says:

    That’s all so awesome. I’ve been off the blog following trail and come back to see gorgeous pics of your baby. Baby bar fight scar and all.

    Don’t you just love those hormones!? Crazy.

  36. On March 2nd, 2009 at 8:06 am Kendra Says:

    Oh, she’s just beautiful! I’m so happy to see her! And I’m happy to see the boys looking so happy too. I hope all this hasn’t been too hard on them; I imagine it’s been hard to explain the tension in the house without overhwelming their little sensibilities.

    And when I saw the incision, my first instinct was to go all weak in the knees with the thought that someone CUT A BABY to make that! I’m sure it will heal and be covered by tons of beautiful hair. And she won’t have to remember how terrifying it was when that scar was coming to be.

  37. On March 2nd, 2009 at 8:34 am Kristine Says:

    You know, now that I think about it, the surgery I had at 4 on my ear (to also remove a cyst, but it was on the inside wrapped around the bones) didn’t leave me with an awesome scar (they were able to go through my ear drum), so now people don’t believe that I’m half deaf. I got gypped. At least she’ll have a story to tell.

  38. On March 2nd, 2009 at 8:56 am g Says:

    Man, she is a gorgeous baby, Bec
    Scar and all. It will get smaller and be covered by her luxurious hair. Then if she gets rebellious as a teenager (IF, haha) she can shave her head like Sinead and look like a bad ass.


  39. On March 2nd, 2009 at 9:48 am kbrients Says:

    oh she is adorable…. and it may be scary looking, but how wonderful that it is where it is and hair will soon enough cover it!

  40. On March 2nd, 2009 at 10:39 am Susan Says:

    “this one time I was in a bar fight when I was like a month old. I cut a bitch!”

    I have a big one of these right on my chest. And, yes, I use that story.

  41. On March 2nd, 2009 at 11:33 am Miss Grace Says:

    That scar is too too scary/sad, but your little girl is simply lovely.

  42. On March 2nd, 2009 at 11:47 am Elaine at Lipstickdaily Says:

    She’s AMAZING!!! So beautiful!

  43. On March 2nd, 2009 at 12:42 pm Minnie Says:


    I’d work on a story for her high school days whereby, “This guy tried to take it to far at the movies…”

  44. On March 2nd, 2009 at 3:36 pm Betts Says:

    Pics don’t make your page load slower, so load us up with images.

    Poor baby (that’s you and Amelia). That is a big scar, but luckily it will be covered with hair and she won’t be disfigured and teased mercilessly at school.

  45. On March 2nd, 2009 at 3:47 pm mumma boo Says:

    She is simply gorgeous. It must hurt you to see her like that, but, thankfully, she’s little enough that she can’t reach up to play with the stitches. Cheeks will need a birthmark removed from her head in a month or so, and I know I’ll be handcuffing her to keep her from touching the incision. And then she’ll probably bribe Cenzo to scratch it for her.

    I’m so glad that everything went well (except for ANP – bitch) and that everyone is home together. You do make some gorgeous children there, lady.

  46. On March 2nd, 2009 at 4:03 pm birdpress Says:

    Just think of all the fun you can have searching the internets for baby hats! I saw some really cute ones on Etsy. That scar is scary now, but it won’t be for long. She is so beautiful!

  47. On March 2nd, 2009 at 7:20 pm tash Says:

    It’s straight, she’s beautiful, and her hair is going to cover it up in no time.

    And if anyone asks, tell them they should see the nurse.

  48. On March 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 pm Lola Says:

    Ahh, she’ll heal up just fine. Plus, if I remember right, you’ve got some thick hair to pass onto her. She’s super cute, as is the rest of your brood!

    I do love the newborn bar fight story, though!

  49. On March 3rd, 2009 at 6:18 am Badass Geek Says:

    Scars are hawt.

  50. On March 3rd, 2009 at 12:45 pm honeywine Says:

    I’m glad the surgery came out ok. I wish I’d been around more for this. She may not get hair back along that line (Paladin’s head looks like a treasure map), but at least she’s a girl. She can always let her hair grow long enough to cover it. 🙂

  51. On March 3rd, 2009 at 10:06 pm Ilana Says:

    Ouch! And Ouch! The baby will heal quickly – the double ouch is for you. Take deep breaths and pat yourself on the back – you are doing a much better job than you realize. Oh, and the scar will probably be gone in a couple of months – my infant son had surgery too. He’s 16 now and mighty thin skinned, literally, and he has practically no scar at all. Mwah! Sending you hugs and kisses (yes, weird from a total stranger) b/c I’ve been where you are and really care.

  52. On March 4th, 2009 at 7:08 pm deb Says:

    Ah but I like the barfight story better. I hope she uses that one should the need arrive.
    Great pics Becky! Beautiful kids.

  53. On March 7th, 2009 at 11:45 pm Painted Maypole Says:

    i’ve been out of town and otherwise insane… but I’m catching up and while that is one heck of a sew job… She’s HOME! and it appears things went well. and… HOORAY!!!!

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