Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Quicken V. 3.0


A little over 2 years ago, our favorite buffalo wing place closed up shop, a far more traumatic situation than it should have been, I tell you that much. And although The Daver and I searched high and low for Replacement Buffalo Wings, nothing stood up and shouted, “Hey, fatso! Pick ME!”

Until last weekend, when we rediscovered our love for buffalo wings. Happily for my ass padding, the place is an hour away from our house, so I can’t just drop by (and by drop by, I mean move in) and have lunch there every other day. And night.

Today, much like last Saturday, we ditched the kids with their beloved grandparents and hit the road. Without the kids in the backseat, which saved my eardrums from being blasted by Alex’s indignant squawks, but ended up feeling a bit…empty, I suppose.

The wings were everything I’d imagined and perhaps more, and as we headed home on the highway, we discussed the upcoming baby more than we had in the last 17 or so weeks. While we’re both thrilled to pieces by the thought of another ickle one, we’re also both pretty shell-shocked and battle-weary from Alex’s infant-hood, and honestly I’ve been trying to just get the hell over myself, let go and let God. I’m not a pretty person when I worry, and without being able to control all of the variables in pregnancy, I worry even more fruitlessly than I should.

My pregnancy is just something I barely mention or consider myself unless I’m having an intense craving for hot ketchup (please, don’t ask) or going to the doctor. It seems easier to pretend nothing is happening, save for some bloating and kick-ass comfy pants.

Yet. And yet...

Tap, tap, tap, Baby Sausage reminded me for the first time today that although we were without my older children, we were not completely sans child. Tap, tap, tap.

The tiny fluttering reminded me to actually stop and enjoy this pregnancy, to revel in my weight gain and rib spreading, laugh off the insomnia and horrifying gas, and to pay attention to this new baby too, dammit!

So, Hello World, indeed, Baby Sausage. We just can’t wait to meet you, either.

41 Comments to

“Quicken V. 3.0”

  1. On August 30th, 2008 at 8:14 pm mrs.spit Says:

    I’m so pleased for you. I didn’t get much movement with Gabe, but I loved every bit I got.

  2. On August 30th, 2008 at 8:29 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    Oh- what a special moment that first flutter is. Congratulations.

  3. On August 30th, 2008 at 8:34 pm tash Says:


  4. On August 30th, 2008 at 9:55 pm KT Says:

    That is so cool!!! To feel the baby and know he/she is in there. I miss that. Enjoy!!! PLEASE ENJOY!!! You deserve it.

  5. On August 30th, 2008 at 10:04 pm kalakly Says:

    Right back atcha baby Mcbecky:0) Those little taps are what get me through the day, and nights mostly too…
    Isn’t it scary weird to forget it all and just let yourself feel the happy? Eeeek!

  6. On August 30th, 2008 at 11:11 pm Heather Says:

    Stop it! Right now! You are totally making me want to have a baby! That’s so awesome — one of the best parts of being pregnant; do enjoy it. And hello, tiny sausage, from all of us!

  7. On August 30th, 2008 at 11:40 pm Jenn Says:

    There were exactly three days that I liked being pregnant.

    1) Peeing on the stick.
    2) The first real taps and jabs
    3) The 20 week ultrasound

    As far as I was concerned, we could skip right to birth-day from there. But you enjoy it, you hear…

  8. On August 30th, 2008 at 11:46 pm Backpacking Dad Says:

    I had fish and chips tonight and I totally know what you mean!!!


  9. On August 31st, 2008 at 6:19 am Jenn Says:

    Yay! That’s the best part of being pregnant. The movement, not the gas.

  10. On August 31st, 2008 at 9:01 am birdpress Says:

    Congrats! I hope he/she keeps it gentle. 🙂

  11. On August 31st, 2008 at 10:03 am A Soldier's Girl Says:

    How exciting is that!?!? I can only imagine how great it must be to actually feel that little life inside 🙂 (Please remember this wonderful feeling when the little sausage is 9 months old and driving you bat-shit crazy).

    Oh & I, too, would drive to hell and beyond for some good wings. I have yet to find a decent spot in this little town I am in 🙁

  12. On August 31st, 2008 at 10:37 am Kyddryn Says:

    Mmm, hot wings and little sausages…

    Hello from the control tower at Road Atlanta, where I am running race control and communications for the AMA Superbike race. You can see us later today on Speedvision (not me, I’m in the tower) if you wanna.

    You did ask what we were doing for our weekend…

    Shad and Sweetwater,
    K (who just can’t leave the Internet at home)

  13. On August 31st, 2008 at 10:39 am Edward Says:

    Congrats on Baby Sausage saying hello and making his or her presence felt. Enjoy it, enjoy it all as much as one can. You are supposed to gain weight, crave things, be moody, and smell bad but at the same time all that estrogen in your body is making you so round, bright and beautiful!

    I have been there. We had one unplanned baby (I know yours was planned) and I felt similar. I did not think much about it, life just went on. When she was born I looked her in the eyes and it was instant love. It took 5 children, and an unplanned baby to make me be able to love my baby instantly, the rest….they had to grow on me lol!

    Oh, as still be shell shocked from Alex….I’m guessing he is the young man with the autism….I hear you…I do…the shell shock will never leave. Atleast it has not for us. Rick mentioned to me that when I was pregnant with our 3rd child, and he was born that he thought he forgot how hard babies were. When the 3rd one came we realized that babies really are not all that hard, the 2nd one just had something going on. What a relief it was to realize that.

    Best wishes. I am so happy you found some good wings to pad your ass with…enjoy my friend, enjoy!

  14. On August 31st, 2008 at 10:51 am LAS Says:

    OOOHHHH wings – yum! I’m so happy for you and can’t wait to hear all about Baby Sausage! Someday, I would love to drive out to where you are to meet you since I live so close!

  15. On August 31st, 2008 at 11:05 am Melissa Says:

    How cool is that? That is SERIOUSLY the one thing I loved about being pregnant. Okay and that I could eat anything I wanted 🙂

    I will keep living thru you, because this baby train has officially stopped…

  16. On August 31st, 2008 at 11:39 am Lainey-Paney Says:

    …oh those first little movements….I miss that~!

  17. On August 31st, 2008 at 11:45 am The Mommy Says:

    Hot wings and baby kicks. {SIGH}. Life doesn’t get any better than that…OK, maybe if you throw in some ice cold beer. Twist my arm. OK. I’ll go have one for ya!

  18. On August 31st, 2008 at 12:38 pm kate Says:

    hello sausage. i am a vegetarian, but i still totally dig you.

  19. On August 31st, 2008 at 5:08 pm Madame Yu See Says:

    How exciting!
    Soon the other kids will want to feel the baby move, too.

  20. On August 31st, 2008 at 6:21 pm honeywine Says:

    Aawwww…she just wants some wings! Or to become a Hooters girl. 😉

  21. On August 31st, 2008 at 6:35 pm mandy Says:

    I just can’t believe how quickly the time goes!! I wish I had savored mine more too.

    (HELLOO in there, baby sausage, can’t wait to meet you)

  22. On August 31st, 2008 at 7:06 pm Kristen Says:

    Aww! I feel such joy reading this post, as you know how I can relate to the ambivalence and worry. Your words often comforted me when I was where you are, so thank you. I truly wish you joy and excitement with this pregnancy.

  23. On August 31st, 2008 at 8:34 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:

    Good lord, this post covers all of my favorite things:

    Wings – Awesome!
    Kick ass comfy pants – More Awesome!
    First baby flutters – More, MORE Awesome!

    and you, too. you’re awesome!

  24. On August 31st, 2008 at 9:40 pm Tiffany @ My Random Wisdom Says:

    THAT is the BEST feeling..enjoy it 🙂
    I so miss it..some days I wish we were still in the gene pool..

  25. On August 31st, 2008 at 11:01 pm bee Says:

    Oh it is traumatic to lose your favorite wings. We actually moved away from ours. 🙁 Glad you found a replacement. You should make it a point to eat there as much as possible (as long as the indigestion holds off) during your pregnancy. If the tummy is going to be expanding anyway, might as well fill it with some tasty wings!

    BTW, I found some pretty tasty ones to make at home. VERY EASY!

  26. On August 31st, 2008 at 11:50 pm Sarah Says:

    That is the coolest thing ever!!! Makes me all giggly and squishy and wiggly. And Miss Being Pregnant which is crazy because I, TOO, Suck At Being Pregnant. Love the wiggles, love the end result, actually kind of like giving birth, but the pg thing just kicks my ..booty.

    I love Baby Sausage.. that sounds so cute.

    And ENCASED MEATS??? !!!

    Was that always there? How could I have missed that?


  27. On September 1st, 2008 at 9:32 am sara Says:

    Hello baby sausage! Very cool that you’re feeling the one move about. Congrats on finding some new wings…ahhh life’s tiny pleasures, right? Okay – what’s hot ketchup? I have only seen regular ketchup. They make it in a hot version? I must learn more, so please tell. I’m all ears! I used to put ketchup on everything as a child. I’ve scaled way back – but I still own more ketchup than batteries “just in case.” Our pantry must have about 6 bottles even right now, and it’s only my husband and I, LOL! Hope you had a great weekend 🙂

  28. On September 1st, 2008 at 11:41 am chris Says:

    Got a name yer for baby sausage?

  29. On September 1st, 2008 at 4:18 pm Trooper Thorn Says:

    There is something desperately wrong with me. I read through the posting and after the lovely maternal story, the only thought I had was, “I need to meet a woman who likes buffalo wings and beer as much as I do.”

  30. On September 1st, 2008 at 4:56 pm Stefanie Says:

    I ate so many hot wings when I was knocked up with Elby that I almost turned into one. Which would’ve been weird and probably tough on the whole birthing process. But seriously, I wanted to drink vinegar.

    I’m so excited for you – and I have to say, your pregnancy is going so fast for me!

  31. On September 1st, 2008 at 5:49 pm Mumma Boo Says:

    Hooray for the first flutters! Hello in there, Baby Sausage! Keep right on swimming and fluttering, but lay off Mommy’s bladder, ok? So excited for you!!!

  32. On September 1st, 2008 at 5:49 pm shay Says:

    I’ve never quite understood the wing phenomenon but it seems, I am alone:)

    I love to hear/read your comments on the tiny bean:)

  33. On September 1st, 2008 at 6:42 pm Jen Says:


    (about the flutter, and the wings.)

  34. On September 1st, 2008 at 7:07 pm Anjali Says:

    That has to be the most magical moment of pregnancy — the first time the baby really touches you!

  35. On September 1st, 2008 at 7:09 pm Michelle Says:

    I missed those first flutterings with my daughter, because I did not know I was pregnant till I was 4 months along. There is a part of me that wants another, but hubby does not and I am not getting any younger! I might just have to live vicariously through you!
    And where did you go for wings?

  36. On September 1st, 2008 at 7:31 pm heather Says:


  37. On September 1st, 2008 at 9:15 pm theramblinghousewife Says:

    Awww . ..There’s nothing like those first few flutters. So sweet . ..and fleeting . …

  38. On September 1st, 2008 at 11:39 pm STE Says:

    I didn’t cry at the beta, I didn’t cry at the heartbeat ultrasound; it was that first, definite sign of life (I think that’s what my grandmother called it) — when I felt something, pushed gently at it, and someone pushed back. Definitely one of the top moments of my life. Zero to bawling in 10 seconds flat.

    So glad you got that little reminder. Tap tap tap. So wonderful. So glad for you.

  39. On September 2nd, 2008 at 12:41 am swirl girl Says:

    Tap , Tap, Tap – “Mom? Can I get hot wings please?”

    Hope the Sausage enjoyed his first trip out for wings. Get ‘ em used it to it early – and taking them to restauarnts will always be easy! Hahahahaha

  40. On September 2nd, 2008 at 7:36 am Maria Says:

    Hey lady. I gave you an award (I think?) on my blog. Hi, I’m five.

  41. On September 2nd, 2008 at 12:02 pm Lola Says:

    Awww, the flutter kicks. Brings back memories of one of the very few things I enjoyed about pregnancy. I think if I lost my f’ing mind and got myself all knocked up just before menopause strikes that I would try really hard to accept the misery of pregnancy and just enjoy it. I was all about trying to control and micromanage my pregnancy, and I made myself nuts. My OB wanted to strangle me!

    Oh, hell, I’m NEVER doing it again, so why am I even going there. Do enjoy yourself, though!

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