Pregnancy Math For Dummies
While I’m not quite there yet, I’m getting dangerously close to third trimester territory. Hell, for all I know I could be in it already. Pregnancy math confounds even Calc 2 passin’ me, and depending on where I go for information, I can get any number of answers. So rather than sweat it, I’m just gonna roll with it (baby), and sometime within the next couple weeks say that I’m “in my third trimester” to the rando’s that ask.
Shockingly, no one has asked me if I’m pregnant with twins yet. Or made any other disparaging remarks. I suppose their stares say it all, right?
NEARING my third trimester now, I’ve been nesting like crazy, but without actually being able to do anything about it. Instead, I think about all the things I’d really LIKE to do to nest properly and sigh because for one reason or another, I cannot.
Take for example the nursery. Also known as Alex’s bedroom. Alex of the “horrible sleeper” variety. Here’s where bedroom math gets complicated (and also where I ask you again, What Would The Internet Do?):
Our upstairs has three bedrooms:
A huge master bedroom. Obviously ours. And ridiculously oversized, to the point where I seriously wonder what the shit the architect was thinking. I could easily fit an entire living rooms set in the empty space in that room. Which annoys me because…
The Nursery. It’s approximately the size and shape of a closet. It does fit the crib, a glider rocker and an armoire, but it’s seriously the armpit bedroom of the house. It works well as a nursery because as any seasoned parent knows, babies don’t spend a lot of time in their preciously decorated nursery. It’s also where Alex sleeps currently.
Ben’s room. It’s a decent sized bedroom, probably SHOULD be a little bigger (if I could only redesign the floor plan of my upstairs…).
Our “4th” bedroom is in the basement, and located in what I call the Teenager’s Lair. While I suppose we could move Ben down there now, it seems weird to have him so far away from us.
Which brings us to the Bedroom Math.
I don’t particularly care to put Amelia in our bedroom except for perhaps the first couple of months. Why? Because I hate sneaking around a sleeping baby, and Alex’s (lack of) proper baby sleeping has made me incredibly gun shy of disturbing the molecules in the air around a sleeping child.
We’re planning on moving Alex into Ben’s room as soon as we get another crib, because they sleep for roughly the same amount of time at night. There are several issues with this:
*Ben is unbelievably scatter-brained. I can tell him to “please be quiet” when he goes upstairs, and he IS quiet for about 25 seconds, before he starts singing loudly, banging around, and generally making my blood pressure rise.
*Alex and Ben do not go to bed at exactly the same time every night, which means that unless I can make sure Ben is asleep BEFORE I put Alex (a.k.a. Mr. Crappy Sleeper) to bed, I’m dealing with Ben banging around like the heard of thundering elephants only a 7 year old boy can mimic and waking Alex up.
*Ditto for the morning.
Sadly, Alex being the not-amazing sleeper he is, can’t share the nursery with his sister, which would be the best alternative, because of the sleeping issue. New babies get up a lot and I don’t need my not-so-new baby up and about WITH his sister. Because I will totally nurse a baby, but I draw the line at nursing my (nearly) two year old, who has been weaned since he was a year.
I’m not quite sure if there’s any better arrangement to be had, but I’d love to hear what The Internet has to suggest. Or perhaps you have a suggestion as to how I can virtually nest, so as to alleviate some of this unharnessed energy (while I am supposed to be letting my foot heal and REST, dammit.). Or maybe you’d like to come to my house and help me nest! I’d pay you in Halloween candy and beer and the pleasure of my (chubby) company!
Ooooh, I’ll come help you nest! I never got the nesting instinct personally (see the just now completed nursery for my 2 year old as proof) and I’d like to see it in action.
My only suggestion is to not sweat it until such time as it matters and then and only then do you make anyone move sleeping arrangements. Amelia may sleep like a log and you are worrying for nothing. Alex may change his tune – as babies are wont to do and all of the sudden sleep well in a few months. Who knows.
Just a thought to mix things up – have you considered moving yourselves into Ben’s room? Then the boys could have the gigantic room (possibly even putting up a divider?). Even if you left it open for a playroom in the middle maybe you could have some sort of curtains (manly curtains of course) to separate the beds and give a bit of privacy, so it would darken Alex’s area and Ben could read (for instance). You could put in a Wii or something cool so Ben wouldn’t feel like he was getting demoted for the baby – just my ramblings! Hope it all works out – please post because we will do similar bedroom tag if my IVF works!
Is there no way to section off the “ridiculously large” master bedroom so as to keep Amelia in there longer? That surely wont solve anything permanently, but maybe it would allow you to take a little more time to be able feel more comfortable about moving Ben downstairs. I realize it’a faaaar away from you, but with the sleeping – or lack thereof – arrangements in the house, I think it’s the only real alternative to deliver some sleep to all.
how about you and hubby take the room in the basement? they kids could make as much noise as they want upstairs and you wouldn’t hear a thing down there…ah, a peaceful night’s sleep! im kidding of course.
Maybe Alex will sleep better in a room with his brother. Maybe when he wakes up, he gets a little scared and can’t get back to sleep. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I’ll bet Amelia will sleep great. You just can’t have two bad sleepers. I’d love to come over and help you nest, alas, you are too far away. Maybe you could cybershop for a few things for Amelia’s room. Do you know how you want to decorate yet?
I would put the boys together and try to get them used to it and find a way to actually ‘sleep’ in the same room before the baby comes.
I just always kept my babies in my own room (and to be honest, my own bed) for quite awhile.
But I think that yes, somehow you’re going to have to put the two boys in one room at some point. Maybe if the baby sleeps in your room for a few months, at least, the boys will be better suited to sleeping in the same room when it’s time to give the baby her own space.
I will totally be there soon.
I’ve got a spare room, and I’ve heard that FedEx is pretty gentle with their “fragile” items.
How does that sound?
What is up with houses built like that, mine is the SAME WAY…….. if i could afford it I would really shrink up the master to make the other bedrooms bigger… our nursery is also what I think should just be a big ol closet, whose idea was this design anyway!
Clearly, Alex belongs in the basement! Of course, that isn’t practical, so I’m with Christine. Don’t worry so much!
If not-so-good sleeper is going to be moved at any time, I would suggest doing it before Amelia’s arrival, or he may be jealous and start acting like the newborn. Maybe the boys will get used to sharing a room after a few nights of it. Just a thought…
Both my kids slept great (and still do) anywhere, any noise level. When the oldest was born, we would watch the Sopranos really loudly so she would get used to a noisy environment. Same with #2.
It was either that they were used to the noise, or I drank too much wine while I was pregnant (kidding, well a little anyway)
Halloween candy and beer? I’m totally there.
I would consider having a wall built in the master to create another bedroom. Or have the boys share a room and invest in a good bunk bed.
Obviously the little princess gets her own room and the boys share a room. Don’t worry about the boys waking eachother or keeping eachother awake, that’s what boys do, and you’ll never get another night of uninterumpted sleep again. Can you expand the current nursery by removing a wall to the MBR?
Is moving an option? Or can you move to teen layer and put all 3 kids upstairs?
I’m a fan of the 3 kids upstairs. Although you might want the baby in the basement until she’s sleeping through the night. I know that’s what my hubby’s parents did when they got #3.
I don’t have a better sleeping arrangement but to fill your nesting need I suggest organizing photos or something that you can do from your chair.
I could never put all three kids upstairs and sleep somewhere else. This is why I can’t understand this new trend towards putting the MBR of new houses downstairs. I would lose my mind! I would move the boys together now (or soon) and still keep the baby in your room for awhile, especially if you’re nursing. Then no one feels like things changed because of her. Good luck with the sleeping. And believe me, I so feel your pain!
I got nothing. I can’t see remodeling this late in your pregnancy, and if you put up a wall in the MBR, you would probably have to pull a permit. That’s the only suggestion I like, though…
Oh geez, someone’s going to get uprooted no matter what. My vote would be to put the boys together in the same room, whether it’s Ben’s current room or if you set up the MBR for the boys. Alex just might sleep better with some company. When Cenzo was going through his nightly freak-outs, we put Cheeks in there with him. Took longer for them to settle, but when they settled, they were out cold. Plus, they entertained each other in the morning when they woke up, thereby letting us sleep in a little longer.
Halloween candy AND beer? I’m buying my plane ticket now. 🙂
We have this very problem at the Wafflehouse. And the armpit room? Is next to a GIANT 2nd story landing which has ZERO use, except that we think we’ll keep a wardrobe out there (armpit room has no closet) for the child getting the message “we love you the least, therefore you get the tiny ass room.
My suggestion? Soundproof full-body bubble-suits.
What do you MEAN those don’t exist?
Good luck!
sorry, I have no advice on the sleeping arrangements. I am just amazed that you are in your 3rd trimester. shocking!
congrats on the little girl! pink is sooooo much fun! (and this comes from someone who wears mostly black.)
I agree that I would start letting Alex have “sleep overs” in Bens room to get him used to it. It seems like that is the only option without moving you and The Daver to the basement, which may be an option after Amelia starts sleeping through the night. But I am getting waaaay ahead of myself on that one!
I would so come help you nest if you weren’t halfway across the country!
I have absolutely nothing to say on the bedroom situation – Sadie is with us for another month max – only because we’re upstairs and our other bedrooms are down…too far to schlep up and down for nighttime feedings.
I just wanted to say that I LOVE the name Amelia – is that for real? Love it!
Hmmmm….I dunno.
Aren’t you glad I’m so helpful?
What about having Alex and Ben sleep in the same room on weekends (That way if it is rough on Ben, he at least does not have to get up for school..) Then during Christmas break, make the big move, once again so they can get used to it without worrying about school schedules as well??
*Keep in mind I have no children, so I am of no authority. We are trying for children, and I have a 6 month old puppy though so I obviously can give out unsolicited advice…. I mean kids and dogs are practically the same right? …..RIGHT?!?!?!?
No babies in the room and no babies in the bed. Its too hard to get them out of the habit. Besides who are you doing it for YOU or the BABY. They don’t care where they sleep when they are little.
Nest by redesigning your blog. Over and over and over. Photoshop is your friend.
As for sleeping, I know this sounds absurd, but what about putting Alex’s crib in your room? Would he sleep there? Then Amelia is in her room, you nurse there at night, and Ben can bang pots or whatever.
I dunno. I don’t know how your house is laid out, so maybe that doesn’t work.
I was a crappy-ass nester. I was too lazy in the third trimester to do much, and with Alex I was on bed rest (loved it-gave me an excuse to lay around and do nothing) so I did everything at the last minute. I hated those bitches that had their perfect nurseries set up in the first trimester, with matching everything…I, too thought of moving your two boys into your big room, since that’s what we did. Alex is a far crappier sleeper than T, and frequently wakes him up early on the weekends, but it’s worked pretty much. Maybe you could do that, with a divider, and have the one who goes to bed first furthest from the door, and turn on some white noise or something? I dunno-my kids suck at sleeping.
My vote?
Just wait until after the baby is here, and see how it all shakes down. Everyone’s sleep will get messed up, so there’s no sense in stressing about it now. Then, when things calm down, you can figure out what’s what and who’s where.
Alex’s sleep is likely to improve if you move him in with Ben.
I’m in the wait and see camp. If it were me I would have Amelia set up in your room…on the other side of the very large room…and see where it goes. Or someone else mentioned moving both Ben and Alex into your room and you and Daver take Ben’s room? That way it’s “special” for everyone.
Meh, don’t ask me. I will, however, provide drinks if there’s a redecorating party.
So much depends on the layout of your upper level, but I like the idea of putting the boys into the big ass room with a playroom diving them – seems to make the most sense – especially if you and the Daver can live in Ben’s current room 🙂
Good luck!
xxx
When I have something I want/need to do and I can’t do it right when I want to, I make lists. Get yourself a notebook or pad a paper and start listing the things you want to do, the things you still need, draw diagrams, make menu plans, etc. Keeps your mind and you hands busy.
I’m with everyone on not worrying about the baby’s sleep habits til she gets here. Do put the boys together before she comes though, and make it a big deal for them to be in the same room together. Get them something special for the room that they get to pick out, etc.
I’ll come for the beer.
If you, um, pay for my ticket.
Or the Daver can.
I’ll even babysit and never when I have had more than 6 beers.
So I don’t have kids. What can I say?
Here is an idea:
Give Alex beer to sleep!!
PajamaChick
What if you used heavy fabric to partition the master bedroom temporily and put Amelia in there. You could hang curtain rods from the ceiling and put up long drapes with liner. A lamp, a crib, and a rocker and you have a temporary nursery with a bit of sound proofing and light control.
Or you could get even more hardcore and build a generous walk in closet in your bedroom, except it would be the nursery for however long, then you can install shelves later.
I would probably put the two boys in the biggest room, the baby in the nursery and yourselves in Ben’s room. It’s funny because our upstairs is divided up strangely too. We have a HUGE master bedroom with a closet that’s almost big enough for another room and then the other bedroom is tiny. We sleep in the small room haha.
If it were me, I’d wall off a section of your room, but that’s easy for me to say as I have great friends who can build things such as that on the cheap.
My master is on the first floor, and my son is upstairs. It used to freak me out, but we just have one of those television monitors to make it okay. He’s been up there since he hit six months. I wasn’t about to have those troubles with trying to get a three year old out of my bed, so he went up there, slept through the night right away, and sleep has been easy his whole life.
Maybe Alex would sleep better with Ben. It’s easy enough to start trying it now. I’m sure Ben will let you know if it’s not going to work out 😉
Uh.. good luck with all that! I don’t have a clue.