Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Pleased To Meet You, Hope You Guessed My Name


So first and foremost, I’d like to extend a “howdy” to anyone popping by from that list that’s making it’s way around the blogs. I like meeting new people, so leave me a note so that I can come and visit you. This goes for anyone I’ve neglected to say “What’s up?” to lately; I’ve been a little pathetic and preoccupied lately, so holler and I’ll holler back this time.

Scout’s honor.

Yes, I was a Girl Scout. And yes, I sucked at it. Sucked majorly. Selling cookies door to door has turned me off cookies in general (something my ass is most pleased by) and causes me to throw money at any kid trying to go door to door and sell me stuff I don’t really want. Although the adults coming door to door do kind of freak me out.

Tomorrow morning I’m heading to Ben’s school for a Mother’s Day Tea, and to be completely honest (when am I not?) I’m ridiculously nervous about it. I don’t really know any of the other parents aside from knowing that they’re probably much older and wiser than I, and would therefore KNOW not to send chocolate to school with their children. I, on the other hand, am often tempted to upend a 5 pound bag of sugar into Ben’s lunch and empty a Mountain Dew into it. Just because I’m highly mature. And not the slightest bit vindictive.

I guess the simplest distinction between us is that they are crunchy and I still happily listen to Britney Spears. And maybe, JUST maybe I am hoping for her comeback. A lot.


What makes you insanely nervous for no real reason?

posted under It's Becky, Bitch
25 Comments to

“Pleased To Meet You, Hope You Guessed My Name”

  1. On May 8th, 2008 at 8:31 pm Backpacking Dad Says:

    BlogHer ’08

  2. On May 8th, 2008 at 8:41 pm Karen Says:

    You will have fun at the tea. It is your day with your son – not your day to impress the other moms. He will be so proud to have you there.

  3. On May 8th, 2008 at 9:01 pm Cassie Says:

    I am also ready for Brit-Brit to make a comeback. haha. I don’t think it will ever happen though 🙁

  4. On May 8th, 2008 at 9:08 pm Katy Says:

    For me, these little events at school too. For the same reasons. And this one man at work makes me nervous. Don’t know why. When i have to talk to him i worry about what’s he’s thinking. Just him. No one else. ??? WTF? Anyhow, i get it..totally. But have fun. Focus on Ben and no one else. Take pictures. It will be fun. ENJOY!

    Oh, and what list? I’d like to see what list you are on!

  5. On May 8th, 2008 at 9:14 pm Vered - MomGrind Says:

    Public speaking. 🙂

    And, I can definitely relate – school events are not my idea of fun either.

    But you are doing this for Ben, right?

    I agree with Katy – try to focus on Ben. Good luck!

  6. On May 8th, 2008 at 9:17 pm LAS Says:

    Speaking in front of anyone I don’t know. Talking at meetings. Talking to clients.

  7. On May 8th, 2008 at 9:42 pm Amy Says:

    I have a reason for everything to make me nervous but lately it’s been this:

    My niece, who’s 5 wants me to get a Criminal Background Check. She wants me to get it so I can attend field trips with her (school policy dictates I must have one to be with the kids!) I don’t have a criminal background but, What if??? You know you just can’t be too sure these days!

  8. On May 8th, 2008 at 10:35 pm theramblinghousewife Says:

    Stepping on a scale . . .

    Oh but there’s a reason, honey . . .

    A big one . . .(lol) 🙂

  9. On May 8th, 2008 at 10:40 pm Tootsie Farklepants Says:

    I totally laughed out loud at your blog header!!

    Meeting new people also makes me insanely nervous. I’m terribly shy around people I do not know. And totally NOT around my friends.

  10. On May 9th, 2008 at 12:36 am kate Says:

    i got kicked from brownies. swear to god. nervous? um…packing for a trip. i always pack badly and never like anything i brought when i get there. and christmas shopping. serious anxiety attacks. and books clubs. egad. the pressure. and using my debit card when i’m not *totally* sure there’s money in my account.

  11. On May 9th, 2008 at 12:36 am kate Says:

    oh, and making coffee for a meeting. it’s always wrong.

  12. On May 9th, 2008 at 6:05 am SciFi Dad Says:

    Thanks for stopping by last night. (Although I have to admit I find it amazing that you’ve never read a “dude” blogger before… especially considering the origins of the list are comments from a Dad Gone Mad post. However, I’ve often been accused of thinking too much, so there you go.)

    And my insanely nervous-inducing thing? Ah hell, I have anxiety issues. Everything makes me nervous for no good reason! But to pick some for you: my in-laws, meeting new people, last minute changes to plans, and the possibility of suddenly having to milk a yak.

  13. On May 9th, 2008 at 8:11 am MsPrufrock Says:

    I’m nervous making tea because Brits slag me off rotten for my tea. Fuck you, make your own tea then!

    I’m nervous leaving the house every day, as I’m convinced people feel bad/make fun of my frumpy lumpyness.

    I’m nervous watching someone pop a balloon. I will have a heart attack from this one day.

    I’m a very nervous person I think.

  14. On May 9th, 2008 at 9:04 am kbreints Says:

    I used to get nervous when walking into school late (for whatever reason)…. I get serious butterflies for no geed reason all the time!

  15. On May 9th, 2008 at 9:15 am PiquantMolly Says:

    I would totally talk to you at parent’s day. We could sit in the corner and make fun of the other parents. And then I’d slip you the fifth of vodka hidden inside my coat and soon we’d be sozzled. Everything’s better when sozzled.

    Seriously, though, I will echo Pru’s nervousness over balloons popping. I will never be entirely comfortable around balloons, unless they’re the thick, metallic mylar kind.

    I get nervous whenever I have to make a phone call to someone I don’t know. Even like calling a store to ask their hours freaks me out a bit.

    Insects. If I know there’s a bug on the ceiling, I will not relax until someone kills that fucker. Otherwise I’m entirely sure it will fall into my drink and die and then I’ll drink it and vomit vociferously in public.

  16. On May 9th, 2008 at 9:16 am PiquantMolly Says:

    Also, I was in Girl Scouts for 12 years. Yes. My mother was the troop leader (Troop 673, tyvm) and wouldn’t let me quit.

  17. On May 9th, 2008 at 9:33 am Rachel B. Says:

    I get nervous when I know somebody at work is about to get chewed out or when some kind of big change is imminent (whether or not it affects me). Also, when I owned a rental property inhabited by the tenants from hell, I got nervous whenever I heard my phone ring for fear it would be one of them informing me that the police had been called yet again to deal with the other roommate. I’m just now back to where I don’t break into a cold sweat every time I see that I have a missed call.

  18. On May 9th, 2008 at 9:56 am b Says:

    Love the Stones, therefore I love you. I immediately sang WOO WOO after reading your header.

    I got kicked out of Girl Scouts for eating Brownies! YES!! I LOVE THAT JOKE!!!

    I hate to call K’s doctors office. They always pretend not to know that i’m her partner..and have to check the file to see if they’re allowed to talk to me. Fuckers!

  19. On May 9th, 2008 at 10:26 am Don Mills Diva Says:

    I am too deluded to be nervous about much. I would love to go and give the granola types something to talk about – I am so NOT a granola type.

  20. On May 9th, 2008 at 10:28 am mandy Says:

    Any social situation. In-laws, church, anything…I hate the anxiety. I am tempted to stay home, every time. School stuff? OMG-I had the worst time with my oldest…17. Ex: Soccer practice and games…I was YOUNG, like 18 and alllll the other moms were rich, older, soccermoms. I was poorer than crap and young. No one EVER spoke to me. They were a tight little clique and huddled together every practice and every game. I think it brought them pleasure to leave me out. Anyway, this exaserbated my already terrible anxiety. Rawr.

  21. On May 9th, 2008 at 10:38 am Ames Says:

    Public speaking and/or calling people I don’t know totally creeps me out to the point that I feel like vomiting. It is a constant battle for me to talk my husband into calling for take-out because I get terrible anxiety over speaking to the person who takes the order. *sigh*

  22. On May 9th, 2008 at 11:08 am niobe Says:


    And stop laughing. Or else.

  23. On May 9th, 2008 at 11:37 am Jenn Says:

    Ugh. I literally dread the parent/child events at Monkey’s school. I am a lot younger than all of the other parents (and a lot more awesome, if I do say so myself) and I generally feel sick to my stomach. I have more in common with the kids there than the adults!

  24. On May 9th, 2008 at 12:10 pm Kyddryn Says:

    Meeting people. I don’t like to meet new people – I always think they’re thinking “Oh my god she’s so fat!!” or “Someone let her go out into public with hair like THAT??” I am always afraid I won’t meet the standards (whatever they are).

    Going out into public in general, where people can, you know, look at me and stuff.

    Oddly enough, I am quite comfortable barging into other people’s blogs and commenting (eventually).

    Also, I sing. On stage. In front of strangers. Can’t let the fear win.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  25. On May 9th, 2008 at 2:38 pm honeywine Says:

    Though crunchy, I say a little prayer for the comeback everytime I hear a tabloid report on BritBrit. It’s starting to take up about 3 hours a day.

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