Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Pink. With A Side of Pink.


When my crotch parasites came home to discover that my house, had, indeed been turned upside down and two formerly ugly rooms now had lickable colored walls (hey, purple’s a fucking flavor, dammit), they were impressed. I could tell that they had no idea what “painting the walls” meant, because they assumed that somehow The Guy on My Couch and I had painted pictures to put on the walls as well. And if they had any idea what sort of artistic aptitude I have, they’d have known better.

I have to admit, however, that I did appreciate being taken as someone artistic for a moment – even if it was by a four-year old.

Well, the rooms were a gigantic success. Not only am I no longer Furious George when I stare at my walls, slack-jawed and thinking, but they’re actually pleasant to be in.

Of course, there was an unexpected side effect. The moment my children realized that The Guy On My Couch and I hadn’t actually painted pictures, but changed the color of the walls entirely, they began to clamor for us to change their bedrooms, too.

Their bedrooms – two of the rooms that had BEEN previously painted by Your Aunt Becky. Of course. Two of the four rooms I’ve painted, and they wanted to repaint them.

I managed to stall the boys who are in a fierce deadlock between Purple and Green, but my daughter, o! my daughter, she chimed in, asking me to paint her room her favorite color. My heart, of course, grew three sizes and melted into an ooey gooey pile of mush on the floor right at my feet.


That tiny voice said, “Mama, I want a PINK room.”

Oh, my heart. My heart forever walking around outside my body.

Pink has been my favorite color well into my late twenties (I’ve now decided on a more grown-up “blue” as a favorite color, but only barely). As a tot, I loved pink – which horrified my hippie mother, who would’ve preferred that I like a nice brown burlap. I’d have shot someone dead for a pink bedroom (presuming, of course, I had access to a gun, which, hippies don’t like).

Under normal circumstances, I’d have fallen over myself to make this happen. But the room she lives in now? It WAS painted pink. A pink I couldn’t stomach. That room remained shut until I got pregnant with Alex, at which time Daver painted it a nice soft yellow.

My daughter is a rational creature, though, so I knew I could appeal to her logical brain.

“Okay, Mimi,” I said, hoping she’d forget it all. “Would you like me to paint your room instead of buying you a birthday present?”

“YES!” she screamed happily. “I want a PINK ROOM.”

For days, she told everyone we saw – including strangers wandering the aisles at Target looking for baking powder as well as the cashiers at Target – that she was getting a pink room.

So there you have it. For her third birthday, my daughter is getting a pink bedroom. Bubble gum pink if she has her way, which she will. You’re only three once, after all.

I will SO miss that yellow.

45 Comments to

“Pink. With A Side of Pink.”

  1. On January 16th, 2012 at 11:20 am Swirl Girl Says:

    My baby (age 8 today) is a pink freak! She wanted a pink room too! So now she has a Pepto pink bedroom! It’s a bit straining on the eyes, but when we go in there, we suddenly have no stomach upset.

  2. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:19 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahahahaahah! Maybe that’s how it’ll work. I really hope that I can get some relief from this awful gut rot.

  3. On January 16th, 2012 at 11:22 am Jeans Says:

    My room was glow in the dark pink when I was really little, it was awesome. Your daughter’s going to love it! My daughter wants bubble gum pink carpet. I may have to draw the line and offer paint instead…

  4. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Do they even MAKE pink carpeting?

  5. On January 16th, 2012 at 3:40 pm Pete In Az Says:

    They make pink rugs…

  6. On January 17th, 2012 at 12:15 pm Kate Says:

    They used to at least. My bedroom was light pink with darker pink carpet (it was a room sized remnant not wall-to-wall since for obvious reasons my parents didn’t want to spend $$$).

  7. On January 16th, 2012 at 11:31 am Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:

    You could always do what we did with my oldest daughters room we did stripes which I asume was easy, my mother and husband did it in a day LOL. One stripe it white for my daughter Mimi could of course pick any complimentary color to pink and the next stripe is pink. My daughter adores it. And we were able to turn it into a more mature Parisian themed room when she got older LOL. But we can never leave the pink behind. My youngest LOVES purple so she got popsicle purple as she calls it.

  8. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s kinda what I’d been thinking about – a chair rail or something.

  9. On January 16th, 2012 at 11:53 am Mayor Gia Says:

    Awww cute! I’m glad they like the new colors — I feel like you’re going to end up stuck with repainting every room in your home. 😛

  10. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:22 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahaha. I’d bet money I’ll do it. It’s like a crack habit to me.

  11. On January 16th, 2012 at 11:54 am Me Says:

    That is so sweet! She will be so excited, and you can always paint it yellow again someday. 🙂

  12. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:22 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    She’s so freaking adorable about it that I could die. My ovaries die every time.

  13. On January 16th, 2012 at 11:56 am Fallah Says:

    I think it’s great that Mimi gets a pink room! I had to wait until I was 13 to get to choose my paint color (went with lilac- still my favorite).

    It could be worse. My brother was around 5 or 6 when they decided to redecorate his room. They let him choose the paint. It would up being this extremely loud sour apple green. My mother was appalled but my brother LOVED it.

    Also, take a gander at how one of the rooms in our house was painted when we bought it:
    Yes, that is a true representation of the color & not a camera artifact. They also painted the inside of the closet and the ceiling (!) that dark brown color as well. And the stripes were all uneven. Worst room EVER. 3 coats of primer to cover it. It’s the only room we left white.

  14. On January 16th, 2012 at 12:45 pm Marie Says:

    I physically recoiled and said “EH!” When the picture popped up. Wow.

  15. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:23 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    O.M.G. That’s simply incredible.

  16. On January 16th, 2012 at 4:48 pm Stephanie Says:

    I actually gasped at this. This is why friends don’t let friends paint drunk!

  17. On January 16th, 2012 at 5:55 pm Liz Says:


  18. On January 16th, 2012 at 12:01 pm Brett Minor Says:

    We painted my daughter’s room when she was about 6 and told her she could pick the color. We meant that. She choose NICKELODEON SLIME GREEN. That really was the name of it. It was this crazy rich, bright green. She was thrilled, but that room was really bright when the sun came through the windows.

  19. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:24 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Now that sounds like a rad color. I love Slime Green. I can totes picture it in my head.

  20. On January 16th, 2012 at 12:05 pm Teala Says:

    Yay for pink! Not *my* favorite color, but I do love a good pink. That’s awesome! <3

  21. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:24 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Not my favorite color, either. But hey, it’s a function birthday present!

  22. On January 16th, 2012 at 12:06 pm SarahBee Says:

    Cute! I’m hoping there will be some pics to follow

  23. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:25 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You know it, girl!

  24. On January 16th, 2012 at 12:16 pm Pish Posh Says:

    My mom made my room pink on pink when I was a little kid. Except I had asked for blue.

  25. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:26 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Mine was white. Hospital white. It was so beyond fug.

  26. On January 16th, 2012 at 12:29 pm Linda Sand Says:

    Ah, yes. The don’t give your child a choice you don’t want them to pick challenge. Been there; done that.

  27. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:26 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Hehehe. I cannot WAIT to see who wins the battle for colors in the boys room.

  28. On January 16th, 2012 at 12:58 pm Maggie Says:

    This made me giggle – girl won’t be distracted!

    I got to choose the decoration of my room when I was about 8 , in the middle of my extended monkey phase…my friends and I had a “monkey club” (yes we were that cool), people used to buy me monkey soft toys for every birthday and christmas, I was convinced that when I grew up I was going to SAVE ALL THE MONKEYS IN ALL THE WORLD. So obviously when it came round to decorating my room I wanted…a jungle. That’s right, brown carpet, revoltingly green walls and the snazziest damn curtains you’ve ever seen, they had lions and hippos and zigzigs and everything! No idea why my parents agreed to this but I was so so pleased with myself. We moved out last year, and even the curtains hadn’t changed. Was slightly less cool aged 19 I have to admit but totally worth it for the awesomeness at the time xx

    PS This is my first comment, Aunt Becky my aunts are a bit rubbish…one lives in another country and the other makes the rest of the family look like sane rational human beings…no small feat. You may have another adopted niece, k? 🙂

    PPS The soft toy monkeys? Yeah they still guard my bedroom at home.

  29. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:28 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’m still giggling. Because seriously, that’s SO what I’d have done (the monkey thing).

    And you’re already my niece. OBVIOUSLY!

  30. On January 17th, 2012 at 9:27 am Megan (Best of Fates) Says:

    I am totally envious. I would seriously live in that room today!

  31. On January 16th, 2012 at 1:38 pm katrina Says:

    You ROCK!! Mimi will love that room forever! She will always remember how cool her mom was to paint her room pink. These are memories in the making!

  32. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:28 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Or…she’ll hate me for something like not allowing her to paint it herself. Girlfriend is…willful.

  33. On January 16th, 2012 at 1:44 pm Kristin (@atyourcervix78) Says:

    I *love* pink. At 33, my room is pink (which may have something to do with my 2.5 yr celibacy) my bed and pillows and blankets? All pink. I was more of a purple when I was little (color and flavor). I’m so a pink though. Good choice!!

  34. On January 16th, 2012 at 2:28 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    There is nothing wrong with loving pink. After 30 years loving it, I’ve moved to blue.

  35. On January 16th, 2012 at 3:33 pm Deb Menard Says:

    Awww, that’s the sweetest thing you could do for her. 🙂
    Although that being said, I think they may take away her “kid card” for saying she would take a painted room instead of an actual gift. Soon someone must instill in her the need for all things material. It’s the RIGHT thing to do.

    “Future husband: Would you like this 7 carat diamond for our anniversary?”
    “Mimi: No thank you honey, but the living room walls could use a little sprucing up.”

    …….utter madness…….

  36. On January 16th, 2012 at 5:08 pm Lizbeth Says:

    She is going to love it. LOVE IT!!! My daughter has hot pink bathroom towels and floor mats. The walls are already bright blue with flowers so she went pink as the accessory color. It’s like crayola threw-up in there but she loves it. I just keep the door closed.

  37. On January 16th, 2012 at 6:06 pm Liz Says:

    I agree, the pink room must be. My daughter got the biggest room in the house when we lived in Oklahoma simply because it was already painted purple, with sponged walls on two sides. We found a can of purple paint we thought was the same and painted over one of the sponged walls to tone it down. Turns out it was a complimentary darker shade of purple. So I sponged some of that (doing a far better job than the original barf-job) over the remaining sponged wall. It was quite the purple room. She LOVED it. I left it that way when we sold it – the new owner had a daughter too.

    Current thing my daughter has that I did in order to get her to love her new room? Pink chandelier. It has pink ‘crystals’ on it, and we bought a floral ceiling medalion to spruce it up a little. Combined with the canopy bed covered in my blue and gold sari, it’s a true princess’s room I’ll take a picture for envy if you would like.

  38. On January 16th, 2012 at 6:35 pm Andrea Says:

    Pink and yellow are super sweet together! How fun! Take los of pics.

  39. On January 16th, 2012 at 8:46 pm alfred lives here Says:

    Sooo cute. I love that she gets to choose any colour she wants, I think that is so great. Makes it really feel like her own. Go pink or go home.

    My niece is 5 and everything is pink, and it is a statement all right. I think she will grow out of it. Or maybe not. But she loves it, it makes her feel pretty and special and gets her thinking about choices… ROCK ON JENNA.

  40. On January 17th, 2012 at 1:45 am Devan Says:

    This is FULL of the awesome! I heart pink!! I heart little girls!! I have two and one pepto room myself. I wanted one wall gingham. Can’t really paint gingham, so we did the unthinkable…..hung wallpaper, while I was 8 months preggo with my first princess. Wallpaper sucks but the room looks super-duper even 6 years later.

    We are gonna definitely need to see a pic of this fabulousness, AB!

  41. On January 17th, 2012 at 1:41 pm Tricia Says:

    My daughter’s room was just painted hot pink with zebra print accents and I have to admit I am crazy jealous of it.

  42. On January 17th, 2012 at 4:05 pm Mrs. One Day Says:

    I agree…you’re only three once. Pink it up, Mimi!

  43. On January 19th, 2012 at 5:16 pm KaraB Says:

    When I was a kid, my room was florescent green and I loved it with all my heart. I had picked it out. One weekend, I went camping with my brother, uncle and cousins and came back to a horrible pepto pink room. I cried for days over it! Now I’m not so dramatic, well about pink at least.

  44. On January 20th, 2012 at 11:05 am ModaMama Says:

    Oh I’m so with you! I love pink too. I used to hide it thinking that as a modern woman, actor, and urban mom I should like something more sophisticated like black or grey, but no longer! Now I embrace my love of pink – but I’m also partial to a rich bold blue too!

  45. On January 25th, 2012 at 2:15 pm Erin Says:

    My almost 8 year old daughter got to pick the color of her room when she moved from the “baby” room into a “big girl” room when her brother was born. Yep. We have a pepto bismol pink room in our house complete with curtains last seen at some sort of bordello (seriously, white sheers with disco ball spots and fake crystals hanging down – she cried when she saw them because they were “so beautiful”). I figure it’s only paint and she will only be little once. I can always paint over it someday if I want.

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