OctoBaby
April24
When Amelia gets Hulk SMASH! Baby she has developed an incredible way of getting what she wants. She lets loose a fart or two that literally blinds me with it’s suffocating garbage-dump-like smell. Then she smiles broadly as I hand her the keys to my car and my Amex Gold Card.
Clever kid.
What is your superpower?
If you asked me I’d say I was super-powerless, but if you asked my daughter she’d tell you I have magical boo-boo healing powers. All I have to do is touch the kid (seriously) and she’s like “thanks mommy I’m all better now”….now if I could only find someone that could heal me like that with the way I get hurt all the time…then life would be good.
My kids say I have the power of sleep.
I can also suck the heat out of a persons body and still remain freezing cold.
I can roll a joint in about two minutes.
I can make annoying people leave the room with one comment!
I can break a liar in about 22 seconds flat with my Poppy face (a grimacy scowl I inherited from my dad).
and nanny garcia…I’ll race you!
The great Doobie Off of 2009? I’ll hold the stopwatch!
Oh, I’m in on that race, and I pack it with a match and snip off the ends!
Other than that loverly little superpower, I guess scaring off annoying bitches with my death stare is pretty damn super 😉
Oh I can get anything I want just by saying, “honey?” In an ever so sexy voice. For instance, right now he is out buying me a Starbucks Frappucino. All I had to do was say, “honey?” and he was all mine.
MU-HAHAHAHAH!
My superpower is that I can cobble together dinner out of whatever frozen or refrigerated remnants I can find, and therefore avoid going to the grocery store. I am so cool! Not as cool as Nanny, Swirl, Heather and Lola though.
My super power is of the adult variety…and involves my mouth. Now you know why I’ve been married for almost 16 years,
That’s hilarious Becky! Phoenix has officially claimed the title of Captain PoopMaster.
I can make children disobey me just by telling them what to do. It’s awesome.
Also, I pour a mean rum and coke.
My superpower? I can work out an hour a day and still put up a significant weight gain for the week.
Other than that, I can down a bag of chocolate donuts in an hour.
Wait. What?
I can keep kids on their toes by being completely unpredictable. “Is today the day that Mommy completely loses her shit because I put all the cars in the cars bucket instead of sorting out the ones that belong to the movie “Cars”? Or is this going to be one of those days when she responds to everything with “That’s okay, honey, you tried”?”
It’s been a long kid-filled weekend, and my superpower is in overdrive. I’m trying to be nice, patient, understanding Mommy but my success rate is only about 50%.
I can sit through EVERY FREAKING TELEVISED basketball playoff game and NOT kill my husband, does that qualify?
My true superpower is the ability to ignore ANYthing if I’m reading or typing. I often sort of drift back to the here and now to realize both children are 6 inches from my face, screaming about each cat having got themselves stuck head-first in each of the fishes’ bowl/vase thingys, and are now drowning, and COULD I PLEASE HELP??! Or some such madness. To which I respond, “Are you BLEEDING? YOU’RE NOT BLEEDING; IT CAN WAIT,” before realizing I should take action. I don’t think I could do this mommy bit if I couldn’t zone out completely from time to time. Bless their hearts.
I can read blogs and stir fry chicken at the same time, without burning the chicken. Does that count?