Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Nut Wars!


Wow, now holy crap! I even got The Daver to comment on my last post, which almost certainly means that the sign of Armageddon is nigh. A big thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on the post, because if I hadn’t wanted YOUR opinion, I wouldn’t have asked.

See, Aunt Becky cares what YOU think!

And hearing all of your different viewpoints made me feel the slightest bit better because I’ve been a bit mixed up since I learned of it.

Of course I am not all We Should Kill Kids With Allergies or anything, because even if they’re annoying kids (aren’t they all?) I still like ’em around, but this situation is both more than a minor irritation and absolutely indicative of something far greater wrong with Ben’s private school.

I have the greatest of empathy for children with severe allergies, trust me, I do, because I know just how severe nut allergies CAN be and I know how hard it is to shop healthfully for a child with Food Issues.

The issue has far less to do with this child and far more to do with the manner it has been handled by the school. There is no lunch prepared by the school for my son’s classroom, which means that we as parents are expected to pack it each and every day. No big deal. But if I am expected to pack him a lunch for school WITHOUT any sorts of nuts at all, no nut oils, no nut ingredients, (Nut Ban!) I would really appreciate an itemized list of things that are not allowed.

Because now, it is effectively up to the parents to research, pour over, and create foods that do not have any nuts in them whatsoever.

THAT is what I’m annoyed by.

Dave finally spoke with the school this morning and found out the incident that caused this Nut Ban! was when an infant sibling (not a student) was kissed by his older brother (a student) and went into anaphylaxis. The baby is fine, after a brief stint in the hospital, but this is what triggered the ban.

(apparently, there are also other kids with less severe reactions to peanuts but still allergic also at Ben’s school)

And of COURSE I don’t want dead siblings, but when Daver astutely mentioned that there should be some hand washing protocol (honestly as a nurse, there should be one anyway), the administrator had nothing to say about that. No real ideas about that being important. Also, no list of banned items for us. Again, the onus is on the parents to research and prepare.

So in my opinion, it’s time for Vodka (for me) and Public Schools (for him), where I can be ignored for free.

Now look! A blue car!

40 Comments to

“Nut Wars!”

  1. On August 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am kalakly Says:

    ooohhh, pretty car!

    I sometimes think public is a better way to go for kids with special needs. You have a lot more federal law to back you up and the schools are often more equipped, outof sheer necessity, to handle all of the different needs of ALL of the kids not just one.

    Thanks for stirring up the pot tho, nothing like a little blogger bashing to brighten things up:) It’s NUTS!! Sorry couldn’t resist…

  2. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:06 pm Badass Geek Says:

    Nut Ban? Nut Wars?

    Sounds like the name of a cheesy lesbian or gay (respectively) porno.

  3. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:10 pm Collette Says:

    I love me a little blog debate! It is always so much fun to read. Sometimes I enjoy playing devils advocate just to srew with people. Enjoy your vodka! You deserve it!

  4. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm electriclady Says:

    Hmm, interesting. Definitely sounds like the school just trying to minimize liability for themselves with as little work as possible. You know, rather than actually giving a shit and working to create reasonable policies. (And yes, I was one of the ones supporting the allergic kids’ rights.)

  5. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:27 pm bee Says:

    You crack me up!

    Hopefully, the pretty car will be less controversial…just make sure its a hybrid! 😉

  6. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:27 pm kbreints Says:

    Sorry– I am lost… what car??

  7. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:31 pm Kristine Says:

    I can’t believe that this was over a sibling incident. A non-student. ERGH.

    And good lord, how hard is it to write down what they think is unacceptable. Someone has a list, otherwise how do they know what to send home nasty-grams about?

    Public schools aren’t so bad.

  8. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:34 pm Kristen Says:

    That reasoning doesn’t even make sense! That kid obviously ate peanut products and therefore cause the issue, not other kids at school eating them. ugh. When my kids attended school, we had separate lunchrooms for the allergic kids and non, and all students were required to wash their hands before and after lunch.
    If a kid goes home for lunch and consumes nut products, or has peanut butter for breakfast, the danger is not lessened at all for the severely allergic. It still requires strict hygiene practices by all.
    Honestly, we are not going to prevent severe reactions like that by banning nut products at school, the only way to do that would be to ban them from our world, which is ridiculous.
    I think it should be up to the parents of kids with dangerous allergies to do what they can to protect their children, sending epi pens, making sure everyone is informed and aware, and the schools should have reasonable protocols that do not limit what the rest of the kids eat for lunch. Limit classroom snacks, sure, but not their lunch.

    Great topic Auntie, good to see that everyone has an opinion.

  9. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:50 pm Maria Says:

    I do’nt know the extent of B’s sensory issues but at least in Florida, public schools are actually much better at handling special needs–due to federal regulations. I’m crossing my fingers that you end up being pleasantly surprised.

    That being said, his current school is being pretty ass backwards about that whole situation. It’s obvious risk management on their part, but yeesh. And YES, they need to provide and EXACT list of what is acceptable to pack. Reading labels is tedious and lame–I would never wish it on parents who don’t have to do it.

    In regards to a random commenter who wondered where these allergy kids were when we were kids. I wonder the same thing. So do researchers. Peanut allergies are up by a startling percentage–and this research was done in Europe and not solely with privildeged familes. (So there goes the other commenters wackadoodle notion that rich parents are making this shit up–also plz to be mailing me a check so I can quality as a rich parent, dude.)


    Anyway, it really makes you wonder what is going on in our environement/food that these kids are being born with severe allergies. I often question myself. Did I eat something wrong while I was pregnant? Do I live on a toxic waste dump? What is going on?!?!?1

    (Can you tell I’m procrastinating on work?)

  10. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:51 pm kim Says:

    it’s good that you get us riled up every now and then.

    Public schools can rock, you will get out of it, what you and the Daver put into it. and they allow cheetos and doritos too…..

  11. On August 25th, 2008 at 12:59 pm deb Says:

    um…, where’s the car? I dont see it?

    well whatever you decide to do about Ben’s school, I think you sure got an education yourself this time. maybe public schools is the way to go. eh, who knows.

  12. On August 25th, 2008 at 1:09 pm Jerseygirl89 Says:

    But I like red cars better!

    As an ex public school teacher, I have to join in the chorus of public schools often being better for special needs, if for no other reason than there are SO MANY laws in place for these situations. Also, public schools have to write out all policies – so if there is a nut ban, you’ll get a list of acceptable foods immediately.

  13. On August 25th, 2008 at 1:18 pm LilSass Says:

    I am tempted to write my own blog about how friggin’ ridiculous ALL of this is but I’m so exhausted with the utter stupidity of it all that I really just want some vodka. See what you do to us?

  14. On August 25th, 2008 at 1:21 pm KT Says:

    My girls go to private school. They had a nut ban. Now they are “nut aware.” Meaning they can’t really force you not to send nuts. But they ask you not to send anything out of respect for those kids with allergies. And any kids with peanuts in their food get separated. Or the kids with allergies get separated. Something.

  15. On August 25th, 2008 at 1:25 pm Rachel Says:

    Public school all the way! At least in Wisconsin, they’re great (we go back and forth with Minnesota for the top ACT scores, not that we’re bragging or anything!) My kid loves school for the most part, and even though I live in a town of less than 800 people, we still manage to have some pretty good stuff going on.

    With all that money you’re saving in private school tuition, you could take a vacay…and drink some vodka.

  16. On August 25th, 2008 at 1:36 pm Judy C Says:

    All I want now is peanuts peanuts peanuts.

  17. On August 25th, 2008 at 1:40 pm honeywine Says:

    Are you sure? It would be less trouble. They could start a nice on site memorial and ya’ll could sell Reese Cups to fund it. 😉

  18. On August 25th, 2008 at 2:48 pm MsPrufrock Says:

    I would like to instigate a Nut Ban at my house. Please.

    I hate to be this guy, but presumably kids had nut allergies in the past and there was no need to ban shit. I doubt that thousands of children have died from second-hand nut exposure. Ri-dunka-lous.

  19. On August 25th, 2008 at 3:05 pm Holly Says:

    Okay their reason is NUTS (yeah I meant it). Okay so parents are too “stupid” to have thier OLDER son go wash his hands or brush his mouth before getting anywhere NEAR his allergic sibling. Did they not know about the allergy in the first place. Cause in that case throw the world in a BUBBLE. There reaction is a little extreme when the school was in NO WAY at fault for what occured. Therefore neither are you parents.

  20. On August 25th, 2008 at 3:09 pm chris Says:

    Well, you got this one squarely. It’s all about how the situation is handled.

    Maybe the school’s administration are being overly cautious about this whole thing. I also see their point, but based on your description, it seems that they’ve gone over the top.

  21. On August 25th, 2008 at 3:12 pm Susan Says:

    While they can’t afford a separate lunchroom they can certainly afford a risk management robot to tell you what you can and can’t pack for lunch. I’m hoping, too, that you have a pleasant surprise when you try public schools. We certainly did. I’m off to find a cocktail that has nuts in it…Frangelico maybe?

  22. On August 25th, 2008 at 3:42 pm Jenn Says:

    Is it a SHINY blue car?

    I agree whole-heartedly that the way the school is handling it SUCKS. It sounds like they are just deciding as they go, whether or not a particular food/snack is acceptable. Assmonkeys.

  23. On August 25th, 2008 at 3:45 pm Comfort Junkie Says:

    @MsPrufrock: Secondhand nut exposure! Priceless.

    Well, I enjoyed the controversy while it lasted. I esp. liked the person who wanted to ban peanuts from grocery stores. Ah, good times.

    Public school is okay, I suppose (having gone to both public and private schools), but you really can’t compete with private schools in terms of actual education. It seems like public schools focus more on babysitting than educating, IMO.

  24. On August 25th, 2008 at 3:53 pm Painted Maypole Says:

    i see your frustration at your desire to help/follow rules but then not being given any support

  25. On August 25th, 2008 at 4:21 pm Karen Says:

    There is a nut ban in my niece’s public school. I don’t know if that is the answer, per se. But good luck. You have to go where you feel comfy.

  26. On August 25th, 2008 at 4:40 pm birdpress Says:

    This isn’t really relevant, but I once knew a guy who always used to put peanuts in his beer.

  27. On August 25th, 2008 at 6:24 pm Jenn Says:

    One, two, three, four…I declare a NUT WAR! (sorry, couldn’t resisit)

    I, personally, am allergic to snot. It causes me to gag. Therefore, all snot nosed children must blow their noses wash their effing hands before going anywhere near me. It’s more about teaching common hygiene and less about separating the “peanut butter cups” from the “fruit snacks”.

  28. On August 25th, 2008 at 6:42 pm heather... Says:

    These parents are nut jobs.

    THANK YOU! I’ll be here all night!

  29. On August 25th, 2008 at 6:55 pm Anjali Says:

    Nothing brilliant to add, except that I”m so totally craving a peanut butter sandwich right about now.

    And let’s put it this way, it’s not like a public school could handle this situation any WORSE!

  30. On August 25th, 2008 at 7:20 pm Melissa Says:

    I’m on my way over – save some V for me.

  31. On August 25th, 2008 at 7:56 pm Rebel Says:

    OMG, I was scared to open this….

    I get it, but yeah you should go be ignored for free!!!

    You are to much fun!!


  32. On August 25th, 2008 at 8:57 pm baseballmom Says:

    Damn, girl, you really know how to stir up a shitstorm! NOthing like human rights and kids to get people on their high horses. And the Daver was in the house, too…I go camping and look what I miss?! We had a kid at preschool who had allergies to everyfuckingthing on the planet, and the mom sent a list of things that we could not bring for snacks. It pissed a LOT of people off, and after a big bunch of complaints, they made a separate table for kids who didn’t have the forbidden things in their lunches, and the teacher sat there with him to prevent any accidental nut exposures, or, whatever. I guess the question is, although your kid is allergic, and could die, why are their rights any more important than someone with sensory issues? To me, that’s the issue. They don’t make everyone play inside because some kids are allergic to bees, so why a school-wide ban? I also liked one of the commenters’ points in the previous post, why are there so many nut allergies, and other life threatening scary things nowadays…where was all that when we were kids? We could even drink out of the HOSE for chrissakes. Also, a car? How un-PC is that? You shoulda said a BUS…a hybrid bus.

  33. On August 25th, 2008 at 9:26 pm Edward Says:

    Ahh I knew it must be a private schoool or even a charter school…the nerve of them to think they run the world lol!

    Well this all sounds like an overreaction on the school or the parents part. I bet the parents have some $$$ to push this issue so far…I mean a kiss? Reall a kiss and still no peanuts? I mean I don’t want to see no dead siblings either but is this kid int he habit of apply peanut products like lip gloss and running around and kissing his class mates? Seems liek a problem for the family psychiatrist if you as me. And yes we do have a family psychatrist….see’s three of our kids and the state pays the dime in case your wondering…it’s called Medicaid.

    Anyways….I hpe you finda way to satisfy your kids appetitie all the while working with his sensory needs. It is tough. I remember trying to make tofu manacotti just to get my kid to eat. Good luck.

  34. On August 25th, 2008 at 10:13 pm Vered Says:

    “Dave finally spoke with the school this morning and found out the incident that caused this Nut Ban! was when an infant sibling (not a student) was kissed by his older brother (a student) and went into anaphylaxis. The baby is fine, after a brief stint in the hospital, but this is what triggered the ban.”

    This is crazy.

  35. On August 25th, 2008 at 11:17 pm wishing4one Says:

    Public schools rock in the USA, most places- I hope in Illinois too, I say go get ignored FREE OF CHARGE. I also say too, too many parents are nut jobs….

  36. On August 26th, 2008 at 8:12 am The Mommy Says:

    OK. During orientation for Oldest Boy’s Kindergarten, one mom mentioned that her daughter had a peanut allergy and carries an epi-pen. That was it. That’s the extent of the information I got about this situation. So, I packed my son’s usually PB&J for his first day…and he came home and said that some kids are allergic to peanuts…and he sat with them at lunch! I panicked, but only because I read all 100+ comments on here! Do you see what you do to me?!?!

    It’s a private school, but I’m hoping they figure out some way to protect this little girl without going overboard and putting all of the onus on us. How? Good question, huh?

  37. On August 26th, 2008 at 10:40 am tash Says:

    Funny, ha-ha, Bella came home from school last fall saying a word in a context that we sure as hell don’t use around here (we use words like Shit, Damn, and Fuck, not “Jesus!” as an interjection) so I thought it would be wise to let someone know, not so much that I care (see: Shit, Fuck, etc.) but that I didn’t want her repeating it and getting herself and some other kid in trouble.

    The director laughed, praised Bella for using it in the right context, and then said “often these words get introduced here through older siblings.” Which, I can see is logical, but it seems a round-about way of taking a policy: blaming the siblings.

    So not for nothing, but I now think this is kinda ridiculous.

    Look! Shiny!

  38. On August 26th, 2008 at 1:15 pm Queen-sized funny bone Says:

    make it a double, you can’t win…

  39. On August 26th, 2008 at 2:06 pm MamaCarter Says:

    The incredible rise in food allergies has made it tough on everyone. There is no way for the school to accurately provide a list of items that are nut free, as companies change their formulations from time to time and the warnings on many products are now useless (you know, this item may have been in the same building as a nut, yadda yadda). We have nut allergies in the family, and we have to read the list of ingredients on our bread…..every single freakin’ time I buy it. Because…who knows. They may have suddenly added almond flour in an effort to up the protein content! It is maddening. But, if reading that list of ingredients is what will keep my husband, my mother, or my child’s classmate from dying? I say I’ll suck it up. And you can too.

  40. On August 27th, 2008 at 7:04 pm Lola Says:

    I went to public school, and I’m a fucking genius! I hope Ben loves it. Be warned, though, there’s plenty of crazy-ass mothers roaming the halls of public schools stirring up all kinds of shit, too!

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