Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Now With 100% Less Corporate Sponsorship!

January1

Like you, I have found a number of uber bloggers and I often lurk around while biding my time (having a young child is often more boring than you’d imagine), and I have noticed something. Most of them have struck these deals to either write for a paid publication, develop a book and write review columns, and every time I notice this, I’m shocked and amazed. How does that happen?

Please don’t take it as another patented Becky Bitch Session, because this couldn’t be farther from the truth. I applaud this in other bloggers. I mean, the blog is essentially a journal or forum in which one can take what happens to them in daily life and OTHER PEOPLE CAN READ IT. What shocks me the most is that OTHER PEOPLE READ IT and sometimes they get paid for it.

When you think about it, that’s pretty damn amazing.

(what’s also amazing is how irate people become when a simple “donate” button is added to a site. It’s not like just because it’s there, you have to pledge your life savings to the author or anything. Just about everyone I know could use a little extra cash, and if people are willing to pay for you write, then mad props to you. I would draw the line, however, on paying to READ a site. That’s stupid. I mean, how would you know if the site was good until you read it?)

I’m not all “everyone should have a blog” or anything, unless it’s what makes you happy (which is why I blog) or fulfills you in some way, because in my boredom, I’ve come across some very dull sites that I would not go back to, mostly written by people who feel the need to constantly apologize for blogging once a month. If a having a blog and not updating it makes you feel badly, then why bother? There’s plenty enough in life to feel guilt about, and the way I see it, it’s not worth it to add to that guilt (don’t we all feel guilty when we don’t go for the walk that we swore we would today? Isn’t it enough to feel guilty for eating that double cheeseburger rather than a salad?).

But my interest is genuinely piqued by these people who are now becoming sponsored by corporations, not because I want a cut for myself (I don’t), but because I have no idea how it happens.

Are you approached by an entity to write for another site, or do you have to sell yourself there? I’m pretty certain that PR firms seek people out to review products and then write about them, but again I’m not positive. ARE THERE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO READ BLOGS, TAKE IT TO THEIR BOSS AND SAY “THIS BLOGGER SHOULD DO XYZ FOR US?” because I totally want that job.

But I don’t know how I’d feel about having to censor my usage of the words “fuck” “Dick For” (The Daver’s nickname) and “anal leakage” for anyone, and I’m pretty sure Better Homes and Garden dot com or Martha Stewart Living Online would object to hiring anyone with such a colorful vocabulary. The usage of profanity is likely to keep me from EVER developing a readership outside of what I already have (not sure why it offends people so thoroughly, but I know that it does. Any suggestions as to why that would bother someone so much?), and that is A-Okay with me.

I once gave up the Eff Word for Lent one year, and it didn’t work out so well for me back then. And if I can’t give up peppering a conversation with “fuck” for God, then I’m pretty sure I can’t do it for anyone else, either.

Do you guys understand this phenomenon at all? Did I miss some memo that got passed around? I suck at reading memos nearly as much as I suck at life.

posted under I Suck At Life
10 Comments to

“Now With 100% Less Corporate Sponsorship!”

  1. On January 1st, 2008 at 2:21 pm Cricket Says:

    I think other people are graced in ways I’m not. It pisses me off, then I go eat a cookie.

  2. On January 1st, 2008 at 3:38 pm Meg Says:

    Except for my speech, which is also full of swearing and many incorrect pieces of grammar, I am miraculously good at spinning bullshit like job applications, which I write for friends when I’m feeling extra nice.

    So yes, I could do it, but I’d probably get fucking bored.

  3. On January 1st, 2008 at 6:29 pm Karen Says:

    When you find out the answer, please let us know. I am also interested in this concept. And I don’t mind a donate button, but I used to read a site where a woman (single, 30, with no job) begged daily for the world to fund her IVF procedure. It annoyed me so much that I could not stop reading the site. And do you know people gave her the money and she had twins. I am waiting to see if she begs us to support the babies too.

  4. On January 1st, 2008 at 9:56 pm Jenn Says:

    I don’t really understand that whole concept of being paid to blog either.
    Personally I’m a fan of your colorful language. You make me laugh and you touch on topics that I can relate to. So fuck corporate sponsors… I like the way you write. 🙂
    I AM guilty of apologizing for not writing in awhile… mostly because if I am gone for too long I get emails from people asking if I’m alive and okay. So I feel bad for worrying people.

  5. On January 1st, 2008 at 10:30 pm Leslee Says:

    I totally want in on that shit. I’d LOVE to have a book deal due to having a blog.

  6. On January 1st, 2008 at 10:50 pm honeywine Says:

    Sign me up MotherFu… Oh yeah, we can’t use that languauge if we’re going to get that deal with Martha. Gosh darn it all…

  7. On January 2nd, 2008 at 9:57 am Kim Says:

    don’t know the answers to the questions, but think you should be blogging for cash.

    no doubt.

    and I am in desperate need of a manicure…FYI.

    and I have to pee, but I don’t want to leave my desk…FYI.

    and I’m tired.

    you are all caught up on my daily goings on now, enjoy your day.,

    k

  8. On January 2nd, 2008 at 10:48 am Kristin Says:

    Ok- here is how that stuff works….

    There are measuring tools that advertisers use to determine site traffic and reader/market demographics. Typically popping up on these measuring tools requires subscription to the powers that measure – but sometimes the subscription is managed by the site.

    If an advertiser is looking for a product review, they will often contact you via e-mail, butter you up by complimenting you on you blogging skills, and then send you free product to review. The idea is that you will appreciate the gesture and rate them favorably. If your site is wildly popular with the product demographic, they may outwardly offer to pay you for your endorsement.

    Additionally, if your site provider has adspace hosting capabilities, the advertiser may offer to pay for ad placement on your blog. Typically, you would get paid a certain amount per click through.

    You can also approach advertisers, but you will need some serious site statistics and compelling evidence of your ability to influence. Sometimes, making yourself available to the advertisers can be a great step just to get on their radar.

    Other ideas are to get in with Amazon or another site that will take allow you to post a link to their site, where you will receive a cut of purchases made by your readers…as long as they use your link.

    If you are just in it for the free swag – sign up to be a BzzAgent. http://www.bzzagent.com/ With this site- you answer questions about yourself and the site will qualify you to be a part of their word-of mouth ad campaigns. Sometimes they will send you free stuff, and ask you to “pimp it” to your friends. There are other companies like this, but this is the first to come to mind.

    Hope that helped.

  9. On January 2nd, 2008 at 11:07 am becky Says:

    Wow, Kristin, you know an awful lot about this stuff.

    I’m not actually interested in being corporately sponsored because well, that’s not the way I roll. I think people would get bored of me if all I talked about is products and reviews. But who knows? Everyone has a price, right?

  10. On January 3rd, 2008 at 11:51 am Emily R Says:

    OK, I had all of those questions, and Kristin gets a gold star for answering them.

    Oh, and I don’t do ads because they bog down load time and I don’t want to make everyone wait while my page loads.

Email will not be published

Website example

Your Comment:

My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!
My site was nominated for Hottest Mommy Blogger!
Back By Popular Demand...