It is with great pleasure to inform The Internet at large (as though anyone but me cares) that despite my wonky-assed thyroid (19.34, n: 0.34-5.6), I have officially lost 10 pounds. This puts me closer than I would have thought to my goal of 15-20 lbs down by Christmas and back at my pre-pregnancy weight by Alex’s first birthday (which is 28 pounds from where I stand today).

While I am cautiously optimistic, I don’t honestly expect that last goal to be met. I find it easier to be proven wrong later in the game if I have braced myself for it (this habit of mine drives The Daver insane). Doesn’t mean for a moment that I won’t do everything in my power to achieve it, but we all know what God does when he hears our plans: he laughs.

I want to do something for myself to commerate this goal being met, but I’m not sure what I should do. I’m going to get a cute haircut and sasstastic highlights (+ upkeep, which I suck at, but am promising The Internet that I will take care of it. I COULD NEVER LIE TO YOU, DEAR INTERNET.) when I hit my goal (that is, if I don’t shave it all off in frustration to thwart the yanking hands of my young son. Which would give me a striking resemblance to pinhead right now, which would effectively ensure I’d never get laid again.).

What should I do (besides what I really want to do, which is sleep for 14-18 hours. Because, hahahahaha. Yeah, RIGHT.)?

(I cannot go tanning, hate people touching my feet, dislike massages in general, and don’t want to go purchase fat clothes BECAUSE THIS WEIGHT IS COMING OFF WHETHER OR NOT IT WANTS TO.)

God, I’m really high maintenance.