Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

(no longer) Together Through Time.


Back in 2003, The Daver, being The Daver, saw the Discman I used on the train to and from school. He felt sorry for me, my pathetic Discman and collection of badly scratched CD’s.

(don’t ever loan me a CD)

He kindly gave me this:


It was the first generation iPod, 40 gigs of swinging death in a neat, cigarette-box of a case. It was also WAY over my head. I had no idea what a “gig” was if it wasn’t a band show, and the idea of putting music in a cigarette box made me suspicious.

But I fell in love with it.

I had it until The Daver took it back for some reason or another (I’d probably scratched it or something). I replaced it with this:


They’d been out of the green iPod mini I’d wanted, so instead I got the pink one, waggling my tongue at The Daver, whose iPod was now twice the size of my sleek Mini.

Last year, I decided that it was high time for a NEW iPod; the Nano. A chorus of “what the fuck’s?” met me when I showed off my new purchase. I do, of course, have an iPhone which neatly serves as an iPod as well.

I waggled my tongue maturely at the nay-sayers and explained that it was mostly for working out. The iPhone AND the iPod Mini weighed like 97 pounds and really, I couldn’t charge the damn Mini anymore. No power cord.

I’ve used it every day since. Beaten the shit out of it. Planned to continue beating the shit out of it because, well, the first two iPods still work. They’re like magic. The Nano, I figured, would last me forever.


I pictured us running off into the sunset together, me and my Nano. That is, of course, until my crotch monkeys left it in a puddle of bubbles on Sunday, sabotaging our relationship. Possibly, my life.

Dona nobis pacem, Blue Nano.

Rest in Peace.




*flops about the house*




Oooh! I can buy a SNAP BRACELET HOLDER for the new iPod.

On second thought, maybe I’ll buy my kids a pony instead of disowning them.

32 Comments to

“(no longer) Together Through Time.”

  1. On April 12th, 2011 at 12:32 pm Elizabeth Flora Ross Says:

    We have a collection of old Apple products in our house. My hubby is something of a gadget geek. Loves his Apple toys. I think I have had four iPods. My hubby actually used one to propose to me. When he handed me the gift bag, I remember thinking, “That’s not a ring.” LOL He had loaded all my favorite romantic music on it, and had the back engraved with, “Elizabeth, will you marry me?” I was so disappointed it was not a ring, it took me awhile to notice.

  2. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:03 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha. I could so see that happening to me.

  3. On April 12th, 2011 at 12:33 pm Joker_SATX Says:

    I will tell ya, I love my 60 Gig Sheila! That’s what I call her. The only thing in this Asylum that keeps me sane…

  4. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:03 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Sheila is a great name for an iPod.

  5. On April 12th, 2011 at 12:55 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    Have you tried leaving it in a bag of brown rice for a couple days to get out the moisture or was it straight bubble stuff the kids left it in?

  6. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:03 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s where it’s sitting. And uh, hrm. Nothing yet.

  7. On April 12th, 2011 at 8:25 pm karen somethingorother Says:

    holy crap…does this actually work? It sounds BRILLIANT

  8. On April 12th, 2011 at 1:04 pm Rusti Says:

    Hubs bought me an iPod shuffle last year for Christmas, and with a gift card from my boss to Best Buy I upgraded it to a Nano… a PURPLE one as I figured that would ensure Hubs wouldn’t “borrow” it… I was wrong. After he thoroughly beat the crap out of it with daily gym/hot spa usage he bought me a new (smaller!!) Nano for Christmas this year… somehow though, he’s managed to “borrow” that one as well… I think it’s time for me to kick his ass though, because the weather’s turning nice and this girl<– does NOT do yard work without tunes. I think I'll just get me a new one… on his dime of course 😉

  9. On April 12th, 2011 at 1:11 pm Sandi Says:

    Damn, if anything happened to my iphone I’d freak. I’d need time off work for the grief – I’ll check the policy to see if Iphone’s can be classed as next of kin…..

  10. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:02 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha! I need a hug.

  11. On April 12th, 2011 at 1:40 pm Suniverse Says:

    I just accidentally washed the husband’s shuffle [used to be the girl’s, but they had some weird barter-thing happening that I just decided to stay out of.].

    I think you two made a lovely couple. I’m sorry it’s over.

  12. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:01 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    We were brilliant together *sniffs* BRILLIANT.

  13. On April 12th, 2011 at 1:57 pm Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) Says:

    I have an entire room full of old iPods, printers, computers, laptops…i could open a second hand store if i wanted.

    I too had the original iPod and i totally thought i was the shit. Of course, i was…still am actually.

  14. On April 12th, 2011 at 2:00 pm Kana Says:

    Oh man! My 4th gen iPod (Where there was just the one turn wheel, but the same size as 1st gen) just passed away a month ago, after 7 years of faithful service. I MISS IT SO MUCH. I want a new (same old 4th gen) one for my birthday. They are AWESOME, nothing has holding capacity like it.

  15. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:00 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


  16. On April 12th, 2011 at 4:39 pm Kelly Says:

    My sister just got an I-Pad for her birthday/anniversary gift, and my brother-in-law, lovingly had it engraved, saying, “Don’t kill me now, for borrowing this later.” Or something along those lines.

  17. On April 12th, 2011 at 5:59 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha! That’s brilliant.

  18. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:15 pm Krissa Says:

    I always knew you were an optimist! Way to keep an eagle eye out for those elusive silver linings!

  19. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:44 pm Genyfur Says:

    I thought I was the only living soul left who has ever heard of the Ipod mini. I still own, use and love my Ipod mini green. I can’t bear the thought of “upgrading”.

  20. On April 12th, 2011 at 6:45 pm SharleneT. Says:

    I’ve had an iPod for months, now, and still don’t have the courage to make it work. One more high-tech thingy for me to figure out! So, tell me, are all your songs and things (what else can go on them?) saved somewhere that you can download? What happens to all your stuff? So far as getting the little darlings a pony? I had three for my girls and guess who ended up cleaning stalls, horsies, hooves, to the end of the list of horse care… just take a wild stab at it? Have fun and come visit when you can.

  21. On April 12th, 2011 at 11:31 pm MXW Says:

    Depending on the iPod, they can hold songs, movies, TV shows, photos and more. Your stuff is stored on a program such as iTunes on your computer and you upload them to your iPod from there. 🙂

  22. On April 12th, 2011 at 7:39 pm Kristin Says:

    I don’t have an iPod. I have a gorgeous, sleek, tiny little mp3 player that I puffy <3. I think it will last forever too.

    Cameras on the other hand…Gabe killed the last one and the current one is MIA.

  23. On April 12th, 2011 at 8:43 pm Becky Mochaface Says:

    How did you get your iPods to last more than a year? Mine never seemed to make it past 13 months which incidentally is just after the Apple warranty expires. I was beginning to think Steve Jobs’ evil plan of taking over the world was working.

  24. On April 12th, 2011 at 11:19 pm Tracie Says:

    A friend gave me an ipod, but my dinosaur of a computer couldn’t understand what it was….so I can’t load song onto it or charge it. Sad little ipod is still sitting in it’s box until the day I get a new computer.

  25. On April 12th, 2011 at 11:29 pm MXW Says:

    I had a first generation Nano that got stolen (read: lost) so I finagled my way into a Video (score!) and then discovered my stolen (read: lost) nano in an old purse two years later. Awesome.

    Second iPod (aka Pierre II) recently fell into a toilet, so I am now onto Pierre III. Sigh… Loves of my life all dust in the wind… I hope you find peace soon. Either in equine or electronic form.

  26. On April 13th, 2011 at 5:31 am John Says:

    I remember buying that first generation iPod, not sure the technology would hold up, thinking it was Apple’s last hurrah. See, my girlfriend at the time (now my wife) loved her MacBook & wanted something guaranteed to “just work” with the overpriced laptop.

    I’m, obviously, an idiot.

  27. On April 13th, 2011 at 5:33 am erin margolin Says:

    I have a hot pink Nano myself and the sad part about it is that it’s clogged with mostly kiddie music and 80s tunes. I love me some Duran Duran.

  28. On April 13th, 2011 at 6:59 am Tracey Says:

    I’ve washed my husband’s Nano three times (he doesn’t take the damn thing out of his pockets! Is it MY job to check his pockets before I do the wash? NO! But I digress…)and the fucker still works. Granted, the screen doesn’t light up, but the music still pours from it faithfully. Maybe try throwing it into a load of wash to get the bubbles out and then let it air dry? Couldn’t do it any more harm, right?

  29. On April 13th, 2011 at 7:08 am Ann Says:

    I just blogged about my poor, tired generation 4 Ipod, which is the model after the one the Daver took back from you.

    RIP Blue Nano.

    Luckily my offspring is beyond drowning my electronics and has moved on to calling me at odd times and *asking for bail.

    Did you know the jails in GA won’t let the incarcerated make phone calls to cell phones? This is not good if you don’t have a land line (me, me!)

    *Only once. But I won’t let him forget it.

  30. On April 13th, 2011 at 8:50 am Melissa Says:

    When we had my daughter, we put my 1st gen iPod in her room – got a mini from a friend when he got an iPhone… THEN hubs got me a shuffle for mother’s day… which he stole BUT – he, who may be one of the biggest geeks ever (why we’re married), did surgery on the 1st Gen and gave it a new battery and hence, a new life ($17 + shipping)and it’s now back in my car holding my music and my daughter’s!

    Also, oddly enough, we’re doing a really pretty rendition of Dona Nobis Pacem in the choir we sing in…

    And this for kicks, because it’s funny:

  31. On April 13th, 2011 at 9:29 am Megan (Best of Fates) Says:

    I love how a life can now be followed by the different generations of gadgets.

    Just think how much it sucked when you had to be like, “look at my new stick! Quite similar to my old stick, just not stuck inside that mastodon.”

  32. On April 14th, 2011 at 8:47 am jen Says:

    Good luck with the rice treatment – a friend just ran her ipod through the washing machine, and after three days in rice it worked, so there is hope for a happy reunion in your future.

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