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No Baby, No Problem


Am now home and still with child. While her lungs are indeed mature, my cervix hasn’t gotten the hint and I’m hoping to avoid a section.

If I can coordinate my big ass OB practice, I’m angling to try for an I induction on Monday. For the Crohn’s, not my ballooning legs.

I’ll be back online tomorrow to tell you the comedy of errors that was my hospital stay.

Big sloppy tongue kisses to you all. Oh, and any suggestions for getting some cooperation from my cervix, oh wise Internet?

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60 Comments to

“No Baby, No Problem”

  1. On January 22nd, 2009 at 8:26 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    I’m sure you REALLY want to hear this and you probably know it already but…there are elements in sperm which can help ripen the cervix, and the waves of orgasm can trigger contractions so….

  2. On January 22nd, 2009 at 8:49 pm Elizabeth Ann Says:

    Poor Becky, what a baby tease that hospital stay was. I’m with Ms Moon; go forth a get laid. It may be your last chance for awhile. Hang in there.

  3. On January 22nd, 2009 at 8:54 pm Rachel Says:

    Hate to say it, but I think that you and the Daver gettin’ it on might be your only chance at coaxing that kid out!
    Get out that hot maternity thong and do your thang girl!

  4. On January 22nd, 2009 at 9:04 pm Melanie Says:

    I know c-sections dont seem like the best deal, but after having two of them, I would hands down rather walk in and have a c-section than go through that induction stuff…… (and still possibly come out on the other side with a c-section)….. I really didnt think it was bad at all (and only stayed 2 days at the hospital with my second one….. and on the 4th day all i needed for pain was tylenol). Pushing a big ol kid through my girly parts would indeed scare the living daylights out of me….. so I hope if they tell you that it might be the way to go, that it doesnt upset you too much!

    I have heard that sex helps, but i gotta say sex (nor extra nipple stimulation) did anything for me…… my babies were totally find living it up in the ol uterus.

  5. On January 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 pm birdpress Says:

    I have no words of advice, but just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and checking back often, even though I haven’t been commenting. 🙂

  6. On January 22nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm lola Says:

    Please! I was the one put on bed rest for my entire seventh month, with massive, never ending contractions and a cervix that had to be induced a week after my due date. I got nothin’!

  7. On January 22nd, 2009 at 9:46 pm Erica Says:

    a friends uncle is a ob Dr. his suggestion was evening primrose its in with the vitamins and lots of sex…i never had to do any of this my babes always wanted to come early..hope she comes soon

  8. On January 22nd, 2009 at 9:57 pm Lynanne Says:

    Thinking of you and hoping the discomfort eases SOON! Um…wait…you’re gonna have a baby. This might take a while. How about… here’s hoping the next 18 years are kind to you! ?

  9. On January 22nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm Tiffany @ My Random Wisdom Says:

    evening primrose oil capsules,inserted in the va-jay-jay…lol..and worked for me…
    try to avoid the induction at least until your cervix is favorable…

    poor thing,i know those last few weeks are HELLISH…just hellish..

  10. On January 22nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm Collette Says:

    Ms. Moon is right! Sex makes the cervix cooperate. Something about prostaglandins in the semen help soften the cervix. If sex is out of the question, it is also available in a handy gel form! I think you might have to steal that from the OB and I imagine you are not very stealthy right now.

  11. On January 22nd, 2009 at 10:23 pm kalakly Says:

    Hook yourself up to the breast pump, grab a copy of Moby Dick or some other really long book and kick it for a few hours. I know it sounds ridiculous but….


  12. On January 22nd, 2009 at 10:28 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:

    The Sex. Get some of that, apply it, and see what results you get!

  13. On January 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 pm swirl girl Says:

    do what got into this in the first place…get it on.
    Purely for medical reasons of course.

  14. On January 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm Mrs.spit Says:

    sex (semen contains prostoglandins). Evening primrose oil. Insert capsules. Well, you know where. Red Raspberry leaf tea.

    Walking/rocking in a rocking chair.

  15. On January 22nd, 2009 at 10:45 pm Emily R Says:

    eat fondue. worked for me, although it was pretty nasty coming back up.

  16. On January 22nd, 2009 at 11:00 pm Ginger Magnolia Says:

    You poor thing. I was gonna say what everyone else said. A big, fat orgasm may just help things along. Hugs and everything else, babe.

  17. On January 22nd, 2009 at 11:01 pm Danielle Says:

    That’s great that Baby Girl is healthy! if only she wold just PROVE to us how healthy she is by showing up on our side of the world. I was always told to avoid sex, as to not go into labor early. And from the above comments, I’m thinking that’s the way to go. Good luck! I’ll be sending ya some love. *HUGS*

  18. On January 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 am Jenn Says:

    Umm, I will say that when I was pregnant with both my kids I tried just about ALL of those suggestions and NONE worked. They were both late so it’s pretty much up to the kid (my kids are both stubborn procrastinators in life so far… coincidence?) unless you can convince your OB she needs to come sooner rather than later.
    I am dying to see a photo of your little girl, you know. And I’m not a patient lady! 😉

  19. On January 23rd, 2009 at 12:41 am How to Party with an Infant Says:

    Anyone who says ‘have sex’ is lying to you.
    BTW, I love that you’re blogging about this.
    Eager to hear what’s next!

  20. On January 23rd, 2009 at 1:02 am Karen Says:

    I am not an OB and I don’t even play one on TV. However, my mom was an OB, so here is my totally unqualified advice on coaxing your cervix along:


    I don’t know how or why, but I know it is what mom recommended to induce labor in the final days.

    Come on Daver. Step up to the plate. Or maybe get in the ring is a better analogy. LOL. Because being ultra bloated and 9 mons. pregnant and suffering from Crone’s really makes a person feel super sexy, right??

  21. On January 23rd, 2009 at 1:05 am kate Says:

    baby this and baby that. come on already. i want to see baby photos. put ben and alex in some ickle pink bonnets and take photos if amelia decides not to appear soon. I NEED ICKLE PINK BABY PHOTOS.

  22. On January 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 am kate Says:

    xo’s and thinking of you and good baby vibes and all of that too. because i’m sentimental and shit.

  23. On January 23rd, 2009 at 4:38 am SCY Says:

    No idea on what can help you talk to your cervix… oh wait! I always use a dildocam to talk to mine??? No???

    Hope she comes sooner rather than later Becks!


  24. On January 23rd, 2009 at 6:40 am Melissa Says:

    Sex with lots of nipple stimulation, evening primrose oil up the va-jay-jay, a homeopathic called caulophyllum, eating fresh (not canned or cooked) pineapple, acupunture (or acupressure), castor oil (best way to try this: in a root beer float!! Seriously, you hardly even notice the castor oil!), blue &/or black cohosh (but make sure you have proper advice with these, they can be dangerous if used improperly!)… that’s all I know! Trust me, you do NOT want to be induced if that cervix is not ready… BTDT!!!

  25. On January 23rd, 2009 at 7:17 am mumma boo Says:

    I got nothin’. C-section after induction with Cheeks, and repeat c with Cenzo. Sorry, honey! I’m with Heather – watch that swelling – even though your bp is low, if your face starts to swell, get back into the hospital and demand they deliver her ASAP. The low platelet thing has me a little worried, too. Big hugs and lots of good wishes coming your way.

  26. On January 23rd, 2009 at 7:29 am Kristine Says:

    We tried the sex, we tried walking 100 million miles. Nothing worked for me.

    Next time I’m going to try the evening primrose oil and sitting on a pilates/birthing ball and nipple stimulation. Next time…47 years from now.

  27. On January 23rd, 2009 at 7:41 am guilty noodles Says:

    My doula used to claim that several of her patients were induced by the hot sauce at Taco Bell.

    There’s always the creepy nipple stimulation.

  28. On January 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 am The Mommy Says:

    Sex never worked for me, either, but it’s always worth a try! My doc didn’t exactly “recommend” Milk of Magnesia, but she was on call during a holiday weekend and she said everyone who came in told her they had used it. I’ll admit I tried it with Baby #3 to no avail, and considering your delicate digestive system it may not be the best idea. But it’s a thought depending on how desperate you are…

  29. On January 23rd, 2009 at 8:12 am Heather Says:

    After four straight days of labor I was DESPERATE and tried the sex trick. By the next morning my cervix was dialating appropriately. I can’t say for sure that’s what worked and I know when I was whale proportions it was NOT first on my list (hence the reason it took 4 days for me to consider it) but something got my cervix’s attention!!

  30. On January 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 am kbrients Says:

    Caster oil…. I had heard does the trick….

    OR SEX of course… but I was NEVER thrilled about THAT one when I was about to give birth….

  31. On January 23rd, 2009 at 8:27 am Jenn Says:

    I was induced for all 3 children via hot wings from Famous Dave’s. Followed by a long walk around Kohl’s.

    Sex did nothing for me. You know, as far as DIY induction went.

  32. On January 23rd, 2009 at 8:54 am Painted Maypole Says:

    catching up on all the drama…. hoping for a safe and NON c-section delivery, but the most important thing is that you and the baby are healthy !

  33. On January 23rd, 2009 at 9:18 am deb Says:

    sex, sex and then more sex. i know you probably want to have sex right now about as much as you want to “roll” to your next appt, but it may help.

  34. On January 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 am honeywine Says:

    Scare the child with penis? That works on sooooo many levels! ROFL

  35. On January 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 am Coco Says:

    My friend swears hot kimchee will bring on a baby.

    Of course, kimchee also tastes like sweaty jockstraps. Not that I’d know.

    I do have to suggest/second strongly that if they plan to induce and your cervix is still closed, BEG for a planned c-section. I swear to God I would cut myself open before I’d endure that 36 hours of unfed hell again.

  36. On January 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 am Coco Says:

    My friend swears hot kimchee will bring on a baby.

    Of course, kimchee also tastes like sweaty jockstraps. Not that I’d know.

    I do have to suggest/second strongly that if they plan to induce and your cervix is still closed, BEG for a planned c-section. I swear to God I would cut myself open before I’d endure that 36 hours of unfed hell again.

  37. On January 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 am Sus Says:

    Sex. Lots and lots of hot dirty sex.

  38. On January 23rd, 2009 at 10:28 am Kristen Says:

    Well I am sad that you don’t have baby yet, but so glad that everything is okay. Praying for you lots and I have no advice, I tried it all and nothing worked. I am 6 for 6. 6 inductions on this poor old uterus…
    Sending huge virtual hugs (good thing I have really long arms to reach around big preggo tummies(0: )

  39. On January 23rd, 2009 at 10:32 am heather Says:

    Good luck and hang in there!

  40. On January 23rd, 2009 at 11:02 am Melissia Says:

    The one thing has not been mentioned is that it is very important not to get up right after sex to pee (as many women do). This washes out the semen and reduces the effect of the prostaglandins. My question is about your low platelets, how low are they and is anyone concerned about HELLP syndrome and did anyone talk to you about warning signs? if not please check with your doctor after reading this attached link. I know that you don’t know me at all, but as a retired L&d nurse, I would just rather have you think of me as some crazy over the top nut than take the chance and not bring this to your attention. I apologize in advance if this upsets you, but I don’t want you to be unaware of any possible complications. Please contact me if I can offer answer any questions, and take care. Here is the link :

  41. On January 23rd, 2009 at 11:02 am Megan Says:

    Yeah, I’ve heard that sex will help things along (and I absolutely plan to find out in a few weeks), and the nipple stimulation, but if your nips hurt as bad as mine, that is NOT an option. Eat some fresh pineapple. And if you’re gonna take castor oil, do it in the morning. Well, unless you want to be awake all night sitting on the toilet.

    Good luck!

  42. On January 23rd, 2009 at 12:05 pm Miss Grace Says:

    I had good luck with Evening Primrose Oil (for the cervix thing).

  43. On January 23rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm MrsJoyner Says:

    I’ve always heard the sexy times is supposed to help as well as castor oil..Never having produced a baby before, I don’t know. They also told us in school walking, driving over a bumpy road, etc. So who knows. Hoping she shows her face SOONER rather then later!!

  44. On January 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 pm Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy Says:

    I drank a lot of raspberry tea and took black cohosh because that was supposed to make you go into labor, but I was still nine days overdue when my water finally broke, so I am not much help, I guess.

    I will just send tons of labor vibes to your cervix all day, how is that?

  45. On January 23rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm Sarah Says:

    Well… duh with sex obviously, but seriously, am I the only one that’s going to come right out and say that you can certainly score an orgasm AND get semen on your cervix without any penetration having to happen, considering the discomfort of Crohn’s?? I mean, yeah, it comes in damn near gel form, right out of your husband! Apply as required.

    Step up, The Daver Dude!

    And sitting on one of those big obnoxious exercise balls and rotating my hips as much as I could stand to do – get that little noggin down there with some natural pressure. 😀

  46. On January 23rd, 2009 at 2:36 pm Betts Says:

    I’ve heard eating pepperoni pizza can help, but that might not work to well with your Crohns. How about a drive on a really bumpy road?

  47. On January 23rd, 2009 at 2:47 pm ScienceMama Says:

    Hang in there, Becks! You’re almost done!

  48. On January 23rd, 2009 at 3:08 pm heather Says:

    Dude. I know you want her out, and I’ve never had to actually *push* out a person, but I highly DOUBT I would ever – in forty thousand years – allow anyone near me who had sex on the brain while I was large and (not) in charge and gestating a baby whale. But that’s me.

    You’ve had inductions with your other buggers, haven’t you? Maybe you need to be frank with her. Tell her she will be left totally in the care of young Alex when she arrives if she doesn’t get this show on the road.

    I think the time has come, Amelia. In fact, I think the time has passed. Your mother is growing impatient.

  49. On January 23rd, 2009 at 3:36 pm heather... Says:

    phew. I’m glad you’re okay. You had me worried, dude!

  50. On January 23rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm Betty M Says:

    sex, long walks up hills, some kind of spicy or other foods that give you an upset tummy, acupuncture, raspberry leaf tea, exercise balls – some or all are said to have worked by various people I know.

    I’ve been induced – it was fine. Not as easy as when not but fine all the same – no need for further interventions.

  51. On January 23rd, 2009 at 4:30 pm Purva Brown Says:

    Being induced isn’t that bad. If I did it again I would have the nurse crank up the pitocin right away though. It’s hard to stay excited (and awake!) for 24 hours! And then when it’s time to push, you’re freaking tired.

    Good luck, though. Can’t wait! (Oh sorry, wrong thing to say?)

  52. On January 23rd, 2009 at 6:34 pm mandy Says:

    sex…not to induce labor, but do it now before you are sleeping with a newborn and maybe if you are lucky, your cervix will get the idea.

    I know this is a tough time, you just want her out so you can hold her and see her. You are almost there. We’re eagerly waiting to send internet kisses to her smooshy cheeks.

  53. On January 23rd, 2009 at 7:46 pm KT Says:

    Caster oil. My friend did it. It worked. Baby came that day.

  54. On January 23rd, 2009 at 8:43 pm Amy Says:

    Dude, it’s coming up on one full day without you! What’s up? Did you all do the funky monkey or what…did the little one finally decide to show up? Thinking of you and sending you sloppy wet kisses!

  55. On January 23rd, 2009 at 9:11 pm RhoRho Says:

    Has anyone said have an orgasm?

  56. On January 23rd, 2009 at 9:38 pm Stefanie Says:

    OMG I just caught up with this. And I almost IM’d you today. Woweeeee! Babeeeee! Coming!! I’m so excited. I’m holding your virtual hand. xxxxoooooo

  57. On January 24th, 2009 at 6:18 am Badass Geek Says:

    I got kicked out of Cervix Crisis Negotiation school for making some crude jokes, otherwise I’d help.

  58. On January 24th, 2009 at 8:44 am quietgirl Says:

    My cousin also went into labor from sex…. hot hospital sex? You’ll never forget it, good or bad.

    Good luck in the hospital. (I hate those places) Don’t let no one give you any shit, and best wishes to you and babygirl. Happy happy wishes for a smooth delivery and great health and happiness.

  59. On January 24th, 2009 at 10:22 am A Soldier's Girl Says:

    Awwww….well, I was hoping I’d be coming over to see pics of the newest member to the family! 🙂 I have no suggestions about widening the cervix :), but I hope that it happens soon….:)

  60. On January 24th, 2009 at 3:00 pm Candid Engineer Says:

    Hang in there, Aunt Becky! I’ll be thinking of you as you try to get the baby out. As for the whole cervix thing, I confess that I know nothing about it. xoxo CE

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