Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Move Along. Nothing To See Here.


The Daver was reading a book recently (he’s the literate one around these here parts) that had in it something I found more interesting than the cat video I was watching.

He said to me, that there had been a scientific study in the 1980’s in which groups of people talked about a negative experience with an untrained individual. These participants believed that sharing these experiences out loud may have helped them cope with their feelings, but it was not so, ickle Pranksters.

In fact, talking about these experiences did nothing to change the manner in which they coped with their problems.

Instead, The Daver told me, the individuals who engaged in a daily writing exercise, jotting down their most personal feelings and thoughts about their personal trauma in a journal, found a huge boost in their psychological – and physical – well being. The people who wrote down their innermost problems became happier.

Turns out that thinking and writing are actually very different. When we think about something – and chat about it – our conversations are chaotic and disorganized. However, when we write them out, we’re more invested in creating a story-line; a structure to our thoughts. While we write out our pain, we begin to make sense of what has happened and systematically approach a solution.

Those who write it out are happier.

And, Dear Pranksters, this would be why I blog, even after all these years.

That’s why I’m honored to receive all of the stories – your stories – on Band Back Together or Mushroom Printing.

And mostly, that is why I’m grateful to have found a family. My Pranksters.



30 Comments to

“Move Along. Nothing To See Here.”

  1. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:06 pm Veracity Says:

    I don’t think when I write, so I agree 380 % with that comment in thinking and writing.

  2. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:07 pm Teala Says:

    Aunt Becky, you are the shit. I appreciate you and your feelers. And I’m proud to be a member of your merry band o’ Pranksters, your family.

  3. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:07 pm marie Says:

    I totally agree. while my Blob has exactly 9 followers and I’m not currently writing anything worth reading, I had a time where there was shit happening and I felt SO much better getting it out. It cleared my head of the nasty thoughts, and I could see them and analyze them. My blob is only for me, to vent. šŸ™‚

  4. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:09 pm Teala Says:

    Aunt Becky, you are the shit. I appreciate you and your feelers. And Iā€™m proud to be a member of your merry band oā€™ Pranksters, your family.

    Also, many apologies for the double comment. The first one can be deleted/ignored.

  5. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:12 pm Jess Says:

    That is awesome! Thanks for writing and thanks to The Daver for sharing. I just knew this blogging stuff had a purpose!

  6. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:15 pm Caroline Says:

    I totally notice a change in my mood for the worse when I go days w/o writing. It is so important to the human soul.

  7. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:18 pm Ewokmama Says:

    Yup – this is exactly why I started blogging 10 or so years ago. I needed to write it all down, but I needed to let my friends/family know what was going on with me, too. Writing is super helpful to me.

  8. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:22 pm Cristi Comes Says:

    Oh yes, this is so the truth. Writing, blogging has made my grief easier to manage. Love this. Thank you!

  9. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:34 pm Penbleth Says:

    Now I have even more excuse to torment all two of the people on the internet who read my scribblings. I think there may be some truth to that, getting issues down in writing can help me let go of them as well. It’s as if I have made them manifest and now they can rest. Or I’m just forgetful, one of those.

  10. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:36 pm JennK Says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I don’t know how many well-meaning random street people (okay, neighbors and the like…) recommended group therapy or a shrink. Instead I started writing. Best thing I could have ever done, no lie.

    Power to the pranksters! Long live the Band!

  11. On August 24th, 2011 at 12:46 pm Vinobaby Says:

    It all started with a pink Strawberry Shortcake diary 30 years ago….writing keeps me sane. Whether it’s a fancy leather journal, cheap spiral notebooks, or a blog for the whole freaking world to see (or in my case, ignore) getting it out on paper or screen it cathartic. I will never stop writing.

    It’s a soul thing. Oh, and you can’t drink all day — much better to write it out before 5.


  12. On August 24th, 2011 at 1:10 pm Elly Lou Says:

    Well said! And honestly, I think writing rally helped me rcover from cancer – especially the chemo brain. Writing makes you slow down enough to really think about your word choices, too – help you bett define for yourself what you’re feeling.

  13. On August 24th, 2011 at 2:03 pm Twisted Domestic Goddess Says:

    This is why I’ve always written. In fact this morning I found a letter I wrote after my son passed away to my son the day before his funeral. I read it and couldn’t believe how far I’ve come. I was thinking about sharing it over on Band Back Together that would be a huge step for me.

    I love how honest you are it’s great you remind me a lot of myself

  14. On August 24th, 2011 at 2:07 pm Meg Says:

    I know I feel so much better after writing down whatever has been bothering me. It is almost as if by writing the feelings down I lessen the burden I feel they place on me. It is nice to have some sort of outlet for the chaos within,

  15. On August 24th, 2011 at 2:30 pm Lori Says:

    “Shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased.” Spider Robinson

    I’ve been wanting to start a blog for some time now; good to know I could be on the right track for a healing adventure. Thanks so much for sharing!

  16. On August 24th, 2011 at 2:35 pm Working Mommy Says:

    It is so true!! Writing down everything definitely helps me a lot…it is that whole judging aspect of saying these things out loud, I think, that makes it more difficult to say.


  17. On August 24th, 2011 at 3:13 pm Heli Says:

    What about venting? I have always been from the school of thought that I am better off venting my feelings. I have heard, however, that some people think that might just exacerbate your feelings and not actually help.

  18. On August 25th, 2011 at 6:50 am The Daver Says:

    The book I was reading, “59 Seconds”, by Richard Wiseman, talks a bit about the idea that venting frustrations by, say, punching a pillow, is a way to ‘release’ those frustrations. The studies showed the opposite: turning the frustration into action actually increased the emotional response. Instead, the book suggests, try to list out the positive events that came out of the thing you want to vent about. Also, doing nice things for other people (even small things like giving them a smile) gives a HUGE benefit to your own well-being. Finally, focus on things you are grateful for in your life rather than things you are angry or frustrated about. (Note, trying to simply not think about something bad is not helpful: it tends to make you focus on it more. The key is to think about it with a focus on what good can or did come of it )

  19. On August 25th, 2011 at 4:44 pm Heli Says:

    I like that idea, visualize calm cool collected feelings and maybe you will become calm cool and collected. In most cases though, I’m thinking vodka may be a quicker fix…just ask Aunt Becky which works better for her šŸ™‚

  20. On August 24th, 2011 at 4:23 pm Tom Says:

    I love you, Aunt Becky … and the Daver, too. (He’s so smart!) All along I’ve called my blog “an exercise in self-therapy” … and now I know that means something. I’m so proud to be a Prankster!

  21. On August 24th, 2011 at 6:49 pm alfred lives here Says:

    So warm, so caring, so loving…

    reading is overrated. yelling is better!

  22. On August 24th, 2011 at 8:47 pm Kristine Says:

    Oh, oh, oh I love this and it resonates with me so much. I lost a lot of friends because I didn’t talk to them about the inner most secrets I shared about Cora on my blog. They didn’t get it. You get it. That’s why I’m your new cyberstalker.

  23. On August 24th, 2011 at 9:23 pm Suniverse Says:

    Fucking A Right.

    You have created a wonderful community for people to share their feelings in a non-stupid way. Keep that whore mouth open, sister.


  24. On August 24th, 2011 at 10:13 pm Andrea Says:

    You are way cooler than the cool kids in high school were! Now I can stop worrying about having only tens of followers and can think of how many tensor dollars I save in therapy bills by just writing!

  25. On August 25th, 2011 at 1:08 am Sister Sister Says:

    Makes total sense to me.

  26. On August 25th, 2011 at 4:51 am Alexis Says:

    i suspect my blogging has brought me ultimately more peace and acceptance than have the combined efforts of my shrinks. (Sorry, Dr. Jeff.) Reading Aunt Becky’s blog certainly has given me more benefit than anything my shrinks have told me.

    But should one blog, or even speak in public, under the influence of Vicodin?

  27. On August 25th, 2011 at 1:19 pm Marta Says:

    Totally agree. I share easily, its a problem I have. I find that writing about it always makes me feel better than talking about it. Usually you don’t get the reaction or response you want or expect when talking about it. But when writing you get everything you put in. My latest post (go read it!) was just that. I got much more out of writing about that incident than if I had talked about it.

  28. On August 25th, 2011 at 6:58 pm A Morning Grouch Says:

    Interesting. Makes sense why, for me, writing is so much more therapeutic than talking. Writing combined with Xanax and wine makes one HAPPY girl! Hah!

  29. On August 25th, 2011 at 7:48 pm Valerie Says:

    oh thank you – made me worry less about our daughter. She is irritable, negative, amazing, talented, funny, introspective – AND almost 15 yrs old which actually explains most of it. She writes and I told her that it wasn’t good enough to write feelers on paper to herself – talk to someone. I will go back and encourage it instead – and not worry about an amazing becoming woman thing who has the misfortune to be a teenager – for now. It too will pass but this way she can enjoy reading about it for a long time šŸ˜‰

  30. On August 26th, 2011 at 6:41 pm Kate Says:

    Makes big kinda of sense, now that you say it. I feel a difference keeping a journal. Thanks for backing that up with a book read by the Daver (though trying to argue the point the with reference, “The husband of a woman whose blog I follow- no, I don’t know the name of the book!” probably won’t go well, but it sure as hell makes me feel better.)

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