Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Mommy Wants Vodka


I’m not sure if you heard, Internet, but there was this lady who got drunk, drove a mess-load of kids around, and then crashed her car and killed everyone. It was pretty gruesome. If you hadn’t heard, you’ve obviously been living under a rock, and if you’re living under a rock, perhaps the next logical question is this: how do you get Internet access there?


The media, of course, latched onto this case and immediately began nailing mothers who drink to the wall for people to shred. Some of us got spared, and well, the others, did not.

Honestly? The whole comparison to someone who names their blog “Mommy Wants Vodka” (or something similar) to someone who drives their kids around after drinking a 5th of Absolut is pretty much bullshit. Okay, so we have “vodka” in common. But, like one of my readers pointed out, it’s not like I named my blog “Mommy Wants To Get Loaded And Drive!” or “Mommy Says Drunk Driving RULES!”

Wanting “vodka” and wanting “to drive wasted” are two, well, separate things. Call me tasteless for not calling my blog “Mommy Wants Chicken Fingers LOL!!!” but don’t call me late to dinner a drunk.

It wasn’t that the comments by the readers about the articles were all together surprising. Combine the anonymity of The Internet with the asshats of the universe and you have the making for one ritual slaying. It wasn’t even the overly verbose, self-indulgent, pseudo-intellectuals who liked to wax boring poetic about how we were ruining society with our jokes about things that aren’t funny!!!! Some people have no legs!!!!

More than anything, this shit-storm of negative publicity got me thinking about how bloggers, especially ones who aren’t getting free cars and washers and iPods out of the whole deal, should handle criticism.

The general consensus about this situation is this: if you don’t want the nasty-grams, be more careful about what you put out there. And it’s true: I WOULDN’T post something about BPA in bottles causes cancer or abortion or gun control or even my relationship with Nat, because I don’t tend to court or appreciate controversy.

Plenty of people milk the controversy angle better than I do, because I’d never have made it onto the Debate Team because once I started to try and defend myself, I’d start throwing the podium around because I had no words.

But the things that I have put out there that you’d THINK I’d be thrown under the train for are never the ones that people tend to mock me for. If it were an if/then statement (50 million programmers can’t be wrong)(somewhere Dave started crying tears of joy at my proper usage of that term), it would be a clear cut situation.

“I will not talk about X and people will not assume Y.”

Anyone who has traveled around the blog-o-sphere knows that is a line of bullshit.

(coming soon to a blog near you! Aunt Becky carefully, thoughtfully lays out TYPES of trolls for your viewing pleasure).

The thing I am commonly trolled on involve one of my dogs, who, contrary to popular belief, I did NOT taxidermy when he misbehaved, and mostly reference things that are not quite true. Or they are, if you make up things that I write. Then, I suppose, they are.

The first time I got trolled by someone other than Pashmina (who was doing it as a joke) or a spambot (who cannot help itself), I was PUMPED. I did the White Girl Booty Shuffle and called The Daver out of a meeting to tell him. I was more excited than when I found out that they made sugar free Red Bull. Because I knew right then that I had officially Made It.

Mostly, the Trolls don’t bother me, except for when they kind of do.

I mean, I make my living (if you can call blogging tripe onto a free webpage “making a living”) off of writing about myself and my life. I don’t get paid for it. I owe precisely nobody a damn thing.

But how does someone, even someone with skin as thick as an elephant’s ass, handle the negativity? It’s not as though I’m performing a particularly poor rendition of Rosencrantz (or Guildenstern, even) and you’re telling the world that I couldn’t “inhabit the role.” No, you’re judging me on my life. These are MY stories, MY family, MY stupid human tricks.

The only answer is, of course, to stop blogging entirely.

It’s not an answer, of course, for someone as self-absorbed and narcissistic as I am, and I wouldn’t do it anyway. I’m not going to be chased off by some thesaurus-wielding moron, or someone who thinks that I am a worthless piece of shit, or someone who tells me in my comments that they WON’T be back. I’ve been called (and will be called) worse things by better people and I have had WAY worse things happen to me than this..

And besides, what sort of message would I be sending if I did that? Oops, kids, I can’t win and make everyone LOOOOVVVE me, so I threw in the towel! Not to be all “think of the children” or anything, but seriously, think of the children, people!

But I’d rather put myself out there than have ‘She Wasn’t Brave‘ carved on my tombstone. That would detract somewhat from the weeping out of work actors I’m going to hire to lay prostrate with grief on my grave, moaning and wailing, shrieking “WHY GOD?” at the sky.

Inheritance? What inheritance, kids?

So grab a drink, kiddos, if you’re into that, or don’t if you’re not, put on your Easter Bunny costume and let’s get this party started.

Your Aunt Becky? Not going anywhere. (Except maybe to hell.) *hums “Highway To Hell.”


How would YOU handle criticism as a blogger?

posted under Cheaper Than Rehab
97 Comments to

“Mommy Wants Vodka”

  1. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:13 am Maniacal Mom Says:

    AMEN! Nosey biddies with nothing better to do than complain and judge other people should be sentanced to do 52 weeks of community service in Stepford. Get a life you idiots and get a sense of humor! Your opinion is only vitally important to you. Keep blogging Aunt Becky! I’ll raise a glass/bottle to that!


  2. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:15 am Mommy Wants Vodka | Cars Guide Says:

    […] More: Mommy Wants Vodka […]

  3. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am Ms. Moon Says:

    I talk about religion, politics, gay rights, abortion- you name it. And you know what? I’ve never had a troll. So shit. I guess that means I don’t count. I’m not one of the big girls.

    Have no fear, Ms. Moon. I don’t get trolled on anything GOOD, just the weird stuff. Your troll, your troll is coming.

  4. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:08 am Badass Geek Says:

    Like I’ve been saying from the start… Fuck ’em all.

    “Fuck ’em All” would be a great name for an album.”

  5. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:22 am heather Says:

    One of your best posts by faaar. Let it burn, baby.

    Well, thank you. I’m a little shy about this one, because it’s a troll magnet.

  6. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:28 am Emma Says:

    I’ve never understood trolls, if I don’t like what you say (or at least find it entertaining) I won’t come back, I’d probably forget you even exist. As it is right now your blogs make me laugh or think, and if I have something to say about something you’ve blogged I’ll come in and join the comment party. If I disagree or take issue with something you’ve said (because omfg, I’m not you and do have my own views on some things)(I’m sorry aunt becky-please forgive me, your word is gospel) then I won’t post… Simple as that.
    I’m pretty good at not starting things in real life, I can’t be bothered with the I’m right your wrong crap, but if someone starts on me for no good reason then I will fight to the death (theirs, not mine ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

    No, I’m with you. No one has to agree with ANYONE 100%. I do not mind people disagreeing with me, for the record, so long as it’s fair enough and not a verbal slashing because I am hated by them.

  7. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:39 am Emma Says:

    Oh, and if I was a blogger who was critisised I’d track their ip address and send a hungry hedgehog round to bite off their toes… ๐Ÿ™‚

    And we both know that hedgehog bites hurt like HELL.

  8. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:39 am nic @mybottlesup Says:

    um. yes. you know how i handle my shit… with oxymorons… and calling out morons, asshats, trolls (whatever you want to call them).

    cheers bitch.


  9. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:41 am Tweets that mention Mommy Wants Vodka ยป Blog Archive ยป Mommy Wants Vodka -- Says:

    […] this page was mentioned by nic (@mybottlesup), Aunt Becky (@mommywantsvodka) and others. […]

  10. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:49 am Jane Says:

    You go, Mom! Our differences, individual opinions, etc. are what makes this crazy world interesting. I’m glad you say what you think. That’s why I visit your blog!

    If we were all clones of each other, the world would be a dull, sad place. This is what I try and explain to Ben, who seems to love to follow other people around. Constantly.

  11. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:50 am Brenda Says:

    The problem is……..trolls have NO ORIGINAL THOUGHTS! If it weren’t for people who post NEW THOUGHTS trolls would have no purpose.

    So, original thinkers – people who not only HAVE brains but USE them – can either stop posting their words of wisdom – and truly, they are most often words of wisdom, or at least thoughtful insight – or just shut up.

    Personally, I find silence overrated…….

    Silence is totally overrated.

  12. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:53 am Inna Says:

    I don’t get trolls, at all. I think they may actually may be more narcissistic than those of use who write blogs. I don’t mean that we are narcissistic for writing (we all write for different reasons, but we write about ourselves), I think that they use our blog spotlight, for their own attention. Either that, or its some deranged poor fool getting a kick out of being a jerk.

    I think that there are a number of different types of trolls out there.

  13. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:59 am Leigh Ann Says:

    So I stumbled across your site when I was reading Cakewrecks and she said that you won in that bloggy thingy award show. I now read this daily(at work) and have to keep myself from pissing my pants I laugh so hard. Cuz really, at work, that would be a tad bit awkward if I peed my pants at work.
    But anyone who has read this knows that you got your PHD in “smart assness” and are a true genious when it comes to writing. But people to need to get a sence of humor. The lady who killed her kids was an idiot! You don’t drink and drive and go down the wrong way for that matter!

    Please keep writing Dear Aunt Becky! I need some humor during my work day! Cuz you are far cooler than my Aunt Becky in real life!

    Anything to make you pee your pants. Thank you.

  14. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:03 am jeneria Says:

    Really, we’re all narcissistic screaming into a digital hurricane hoping that someone listens to what we say.

    Trolls have just figured out that the quickest way to get the eye of the hurricane is to be offensive, boorish, off-center, or brash. Idiots annoy me and idiots can be the uneducated racist assclown or, and most likely in my opinion, the idiots are educated Helen Lovejoy (from the Simpons–catchphrase: Won’t someone think about the children?) types who live their lives from a location of fear. Fear of drugs, drinking, swearing, sex, fear that people may be having more fun than they are and are not being punished for it, and what their kids may or may not come into contact with.

    I am going to hump your comment. Marry me?

  15. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:04 am dg at diaryofamadbathroom Says:

    I admire the perspective that you have about this. – guess that once we put ourselves out there, we have to take the bad with the good. However, you would think that common sense or at least a half way developed sense of humor would prevent people from making such assinine correlations, but obvi not. I don’t get enough readers to get trolled, but as soon as I do, I will probably come running to my Aunt Becky for advice. You demonstrate the meaning of grace under pressure.

    Well, thank you. AFTER I posted it, Daver mentioned that this was more “ranty” than my normal stuff. Which immediately made me feel kind of ookey. I don’t like doing rants, which is specifically WHY I waited until I wasn’t so angry to peck it out on the keyboard.

  16. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:10 am Alicia Says:

    I really don’t get these people. Lacking a sense of humor, irony, sarcasm seems like such a huge deficiency. What boring, bitter lives they must have.

    It’s not something that I really understand, but I’m not miserable. And I don’t, I should add, expect that everyone will like me. That’s not it at all.

  17. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:15 am Cathy Says:

    Ahhh trolls.

    Generally I don’t let criticism bring me down, operating on the “fuck you and the horse you rode in on” theory of dealing with people.

    And when I just can’t take it anymore, I usually go on hiatus or password protection, giving a very clear “if you can’t keep your crap to yourself, I will remove your opportunity to shit on me” message.

    And then? If I have a valid email address, I send spam.
    Because I’m mature like that.


  18. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:20 am Michelle Says:

    I wanted to point out that “Mommy WANTS vodka” /= “Mommy DRINKS vodka”

    (I know that I will sound less awesome and lose my burgeoning Street Cred when I say that I do not remember the last time I had a drink)

  19. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:23 am Tina Says:

    I only had a troll once on my old blog. S/he was pissed because I was thinking of rehoming our dog. S/he said I should have the dog put to sleep rather than give him to the in-laws. Complete batshit like that. Because THAT makes sense.

    I just got diagnosed with cellulitis. Thankfully I don’t have it on my eye like your DS.

    Dude. That SUCKS. I’m sorry. Are you in the hospital?

  20. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:49 am Dorothy Says:

    Aunt Becky –
    Help. I am sick. Come to texas and take care of me – or at least drink with me.
    Dorothy (the chick who has you on facebook as family)

    Dude. We’re all family here.

  21. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:56 am Whitney Says:

    I’m putting on my easter bunny costume AND grabbing a drink.

    I’ve never commented on here but this is bringing me out of my creeper state! I’m gonna go all junior high and just tell you the truth… people who say they hate you are just jealous of your awesomeness. ๐Ÿ™‚ I look forward to reading your blog every single day and would just *DIE* if you let them get to you. I will be glad to hand out ass-kickings to anyone on your behalf.

    Fuck the trolls. They suck.

    Tonight I will drink to YOU! In my Easter Bunny suit!

  22. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am Venti Vixen Says:

    The fucking internets have created a bazillion keyboard warriors who gladly spew shit from behind their computer that I guarantee they would not say to you in real life. Most of them are probably just jealous because they lack the cajones and originality to admit that hell, there have been days where their stay at home gig caused them to want some Vodka too. But they are so busy trying to fit in this role of perfect mommy and wife that they have created in their own head, it’s easier to just open their pie holes up all over you, about a damn blog. Really? Where do people find the time, seriously.

  23. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am BecZhang Says:

    I seriously wish that I had nothing better to do than drink haterade all day and bash people on their own blogs. (I really don’t wish that). Fuck what everyone thinks. Keep making me laugh.

    It’s a miserable person who has the time or inclination to do spew hatred all over the place. I feel sorry for people like that.

  24. On September 5th, 2009 at 10:01 am Alyssa Says:

    To put my opinion vulgarly, anyone who doesn’t love you can suck it.

    And I love you.

  25. On September 5th, 2009 at 10:06 am Barbara Says:

    We call trolls “Shuttle Drivers” because of a certain crazyass who used to stalk people on a blog I used to visit. **panic just set in because my blog address is up there….shudders** But I will have to have faith that he does not come here. Because if he did….well that would just ruin everything……and I would flee like a……well I would just flee…..

    I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting this person, but I’d certainly block the shit out of him if he did.

  26. On September 5th, 2009 at 10:09 am Love Says:

    I’ve never had trolls, except for my husband if he counts, so I don’t have a lot of advice, but keep it real. You’re doing something right because you’ve inspired so many other bloggers (including me) to do this thing and you’ve won awards for it and even better, you made it to the NYT. Hell yeah!!!

    Trolls have something going on in their lives that have nothing to do with you, so please don’t make their problems yours. Keep on doing what you do, girl, and write a book (or many) and start getting paid for your talent. You’ve got a gift and you have to go with it.

    One more thing – I write my blog anonymously because they are going to put “She was not brave” on my tombstone (and I’d get fired if my employer ever read it) but I’d rather have whatever you think up to put on yours.

    Sending much love…. Love

    There is NOTHING wrong with writing an anonymous blog. Nothing. That is a matter of choice that I understand completely. It’s the people who leave fake email addresses and “Your (sic) a stupid bitch” as your name in the comments.

  27. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:09 am Maria Says:

    I hated that article.

    I think you’re awesome.

    That article was kind of off base, no? Certainly fed Stef to the vultures, which is total BS.

  28. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:15 am almostaraider Says:

    First I want to point out your blog title is mommy WANTS vodka. Not mommy is an alcoholic emotional wreck with a bad case of suicidal thoughts wrapped up in postpartum depression.

    It could be the same as Mommy wants Chocolate…would they then compare you to the moms who go on Maury with their kids who weigh more than I do at the age of 3 but they let them eat what they want when they want?

    (Sorry, pet peeve of mine, blaming someone other than the person who caused the problem)

    I usually Laugh at the trolls then Either ignore them completely or have a little fun with them if its not frustrating to me.

    Laughter IS the best medicine after all.

  29. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:38 am Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] Says:

    You deal with them by ripping them a new arsehole word-by-word. Your words are your vessel, your humor is your power.

    Now, I’m off to get a Jack’s Hard Pink Lemonade to 1) support breast cancer research by drinking al-chee-hol, and 2) learn my kids that Mama’s lemonade drink is different from their drinks – it’s a life lesson.

    You best learn them good, you hear now?

  30. On September 5th, 2009 at 10:46 am Kelly Says:

    Stupid people are stupid period. Trolls=stupid people. It’s usually uneducated, unread people who have such unforgivable opinions about things. In my experience it’s also usually these same stupid people that feel the need to voice their uneducated opinion about everything.

    I have actually had people start ranting about “those blacks” in my office, before noticing the pictures of my multiracial family, all over my office….

    As for those freaking out about mothers having a cocktail or two, they can bite me, your blog is not called “Mommy Wants Vodka and Likes to Drive her Minivan Around.” For crying out loud. Get a f’ing life trolls.

    Maybe I should change the name of my blog so that the ire is not unfounded.

    And for the record: you do not have to like me. Nobody has to like me. Period.

  31. On September 5th, 2009 at 10:47 am Emma Says:

    I know I posted earlier, but I’ve been thinking about the comparissons that have been drawn by others in the car crash case vs parents who meant vodka everynow and then in a blog. I have an Internet friend who’s daughter was a close personal friend of the woman who crashed her car. Everyone who knew her is addiment that she was not a drunk and I believe them. They are not to blame for her actions, and drunk or not you do not drive up an off ramp. It’s my belief that something made her snap, and the alcohol etc only comes into it in order to give her the guts to do it, Dutch courage if you will (because doing something so terrible must have taken a lot of guts, that kind of behaviour doesn’t come easily). I don’t believe that this was a substance abuse case, I don’t think we will ever know what went on in her head that day, but she has nothing to do with a mommy who wants vodka now and then.
    My own opinion on drinking as a mum is right now I won’t drink at home, if there was an emergency I’m the only one who can drive, and I think there should be a sober person around to take responsibility for young children. If I’m out though…. Time to get giddy on vodka and coke, although the last time I was pissed was…hmm… Nine months ago? ๐Ÿ™ lol!

  32. On September 5th, 2009 at 10:53 am Stone Fox Says:

    i’m puzzled by this “troll” stuff (and not in a “English is my second language” way, because i *understand* the concept, i just don’t *get* it). someone trashed you because of what you named your blog and some other stuff you wrote? what did they think you were going to do? start apologizing profusely and change the name or content?

    the whole “don’t put it out there if you don’t want it attacked” argument is surely the fastest way to avoid conflict, but whatever happened to “if you don’t like it, don’t read it?” or “if you don’t have a decent, valid opinion to write, don’t write anything at all.” i can’t stand seeing poorly written crap that has no point and nothing to back it up. you wanna attack what someone wrote? go ahead. give an opinion that shows you actually put some thought into it, not just an extended version of ‘i’m judging you, and my judgement says you’re a lousy human being. i know it’s true because i made it up myself.’

    i would never take someone who calls himself “Anon” seriously. let the haters come; the world is full of small-minded people who can’t see beyond themselves. they are often wrong, but never uncertain.

    personally, i would love to have a troll. i would have so much fun winding my troll up and watching him chase his tail in sputtering fits of moral outrage. one day i’ll be Big League enough to have my own troll..

    Oh, I have no doubt the trolls will get us all. But you’re right: it’s their poorly informed or executed opinion that often drives me bonkers.

  33. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:01 am ann Says:

    Just my insignificant opinion but…any mom who doesn’t admit that there are multiple times a day that she doesn’t want just a tiny sip of vodka is either a liar or not a mom. Just sayin’…..

    I’ve threatened Ben, as a joke, that I was going to sell him to the gypsies any number of times. Does that mean that I do not love him or want him? NO. Obviously. Or I’d be rolling in a pile of money like Scrooge McDuck.

  34. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:04 am a Says:

    I’ve recently come to the conclusion that not only do most people not think like me, they are completely unaware that there are other points of view besides their own. I think they get offended when someone’s view differs. I don’t write down anything I wouldn’t say to someone, and if it’s opposing in viewpoint, I’m more likely to say it to your face than to write it down. I think the trolls are the people who’d really like to tell you how wrong you are, but don’t have the courage to do so in person. That’s strength of conviction, there!

    That’s what I find so interesting: most of the comments on the article that were just plain nasty were things NO ONE would say to your face. And yet, there they were. Words, I hate to inform anyone, can really hurt.

  35. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:11 am Emma Says:

    Hmmm, I definately hit send comment about half an hour ago but my comment seems to have beeneaten by squirrels…. Try again- aunt becky, sorry if it duplicates, can you kill one if that happens?

    I know I posted earlier, but I’ve been thinking about the comparissons that have been drawn by others in the car crash case vs parents who meant vodka everynow and then in a blog. I have an Internet friend who’s daughter was a close personal friend of the woman who crashed her car. Everyone who knew her is addiment that she was not a drunk and I believe them. They are not to blame for her actions, and drunk or not you do not drive up an off ramp. It’s my belief that something made her snap, and the alcohol etc only comes into it in order to give her the guts to do it, Dutch courage if you will (because doing something so terrible must have taken a lot of guts, that kind of behaviour doesn’t come easily). I don’t believe that this was a substance abuse case, I don’t think we will ever know what went on in her head that day, but she has nothing to do with a mommy who wants vodka now and then.
    My own opinion on drinking as a mum is right now I won’t drink at home, if there was an emergency I’m the only one who can drive, and I think there should be a sober person around to take responsibility for young children. If I’m out though…. Time to get giddy on vodka and coke, although the last time I was pissed was…hmm… Nine months ago? ๐Ÿ™ lol!

    See, I thought this woman must have been miserable too. I read all that stuff and I believe the family: I doubt she was an alcoholic. Just miserable. And suicidal. That was suicide. It’s such a shame. The whole situation is just so sad.

  36. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:16 pm Backpacking Dad Says:

    I intellectually bully trolls until they sputter something incoherent like “You need a copy editor!!” and stomp away.


  37. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:22 am lydee Says:

    weird. what happened to the first fricken’ amendment? we write what we want, they read what they want. if they don’t like it, they don’t need to come out and play.

    actually, they discovered that all of the so called “trolls” were actually only a tiny cell group of people who were hired by the government to play all “big brother” on us. beware! they’re watching you! everywhere!

    Theeeeey’re heeeeere….


  38. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:28 am Dana Says:

    I can’t believe you think you should put all of this out there for people…don’t you know you are contributing to the delinquency of the spawn producers. You should be more careful with your power over the masses…….hmmm..what? Where was I? Oh yeah I WON’T BE BACK!….gibberish, blah…thump (on my religious type book).

    Just kidding by the way. Glad you aren’t giving in to the trolls. Maybe you should do a post giving a step by step guide on how to use the back button for those people who might be offended by humor and good writing!

    Dana, you are seriously a genius. That would be an awesome post.

  39. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:49 am Beautiful Mess Says:

    When you first mentioned that people were comparing you to THAT gal, I got so pissed off! I know I’m totally naive, but can’t the trolls “get” that you’re not an alcoholic mother who lives by the bottle?! Just becuase you have “vodka” in your blog title, doesn’t mean that you drink vodka all the time! There is a thing called “responsible drinking”. It can be done, hell I do it! This whole thing has really pissed me off and it reall unfair. Some people just don’t understand when a joke is a joke and a real life tragedy is a real life tragedy.

    As for me dealing with trolls, I have no idea. I’ve had one fetish comment about how he wanted to do “things” to me feet. That guy, I just deleted. After of course I sent the comment to you and a few other people ;o) But no trolls. If I ever get gone, I’ll be sure to let ya know, though!

    I miss my boob guy that wants me to post shots of my boobies. He was my #1 fan!

  40. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:50 am Carol Bates Says:

    I read several blogs, and I typically will not read any comments because I don’t like to even accidentally read the negative troll comments. Same reason I don’t like Bill O’Reilly or Glenn Beck: I don’t like people shouting, even when it’s not at me. In real life, it can actually be easier to take than anonymous assholes saying things they wouldn’t have the guts to say live.

    One recommendation: ignore every posting with internet-speak like FWIW. Those people love to sound all internetty and stuff.

    Good luck! On the bright side, unless you are deleting a bunch of posts, you seem to have a LOT more people who really like and support you than those who holler!

    The dramaz on the Internet can really, REALLY get old, eh?

  41. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:50 pm ryanandjoesmom Says:

    Are you sarcastic? Am I not supposed to take everything you say at face value? So I shouldn’t be putting vodka on my toddler’s cheerios? Oh my, guess I better rethink some of my recent actions….

    Everything I say is dogma. Duh.

  42. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:55 am Tina Says:

    Nope, not in the hospital. I’ve been given antibiotics and told to come back if it’s not better in 2 days. Oh, and keep my unvaxed 6 month old from touching it in case it’s shingles.

    You poor thing. Get better soon. Alex got better pretty quickly. Here’s to a speedy recovery.

  43. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:01 pm Kyddryn Says:

    I hadn’t heard that story. My rock came with wireless Internet.

    Some people think of motherhood as a religion with mothers the high priestesses and child-rearing the most sacred of rituals. To those folks, mothering isn’t a laughing matter and we should all be as earnestly unfunny as they are.


    Parenting is as profane as life gets. Don’t believe me? Pop by Casa de Crazy some day when I’m cleaning up eleventy-million tiny little Legos (finding most of them with my feet) avoiding cold, wet piles of cat vomit, and trying to clean up unidentified sticky stuff without thinking too hard about what it may be…you’ll hear plenty of profanity.

    As for handling trolls – I say ignore ’em. If you feed them, they’ll keep coming back (kind of like dogs at the table, whining for scraps).

    Shade and Sweetwater,

    You’re RIGHT. Parenting is profane. I love it.

  44. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:02 pm Emma Says:

    Carol- fwiw = found willies in water? Fucked wilderbeast in washington?

  45. On September 5th, 2009 at 1:03 pm Kate Says:

    I generally just delete trollish comments and go on, but once in awhile, when a troll crosses the line, I call ’em out and share their “wisdom” with the world and let my commenters discuss what a stupid bitch would write something so vile. That tends to shut up the troll for awhile.

    Oh, I disabled anonymous comments, as well. It’s easy for an anonymous person to write something rude, but a lot of trolls don’t bother taking the time to log in in order to comment.

    As for the morons who would draw paralllels between your blog & that tragedy, I really have no words. Sometimes the stupidity of human beings leaves me speechless. Just know I think it’s ridiculous & I’m sorry you’ve gotten any flak. It’s beyond asinine.

    It goes to show that some people cannot take a joke. Lord, I didn’t name my blog “Mommy Wants Vodka” AFTER the tragedy.

  46. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:03 pm Melissa Says:

    I have to tell you, I live only about an hour from where the “Tragedy on the Taconic” took place (that what the local media referred to it as), so around here we’ve probably seen more news coverage of it than most of the rest of the country, and never once did it even cross my mind to compare you or your blog title to that woman. Some people are such ignorant bastards. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself and not taking the crap.

    That situation just plain old sucks. So, so sad.

  47. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:11 pm Pete in Az Says:

    I don’t have a blog but…

    (…peers around at the sudden silence…)

    …but, it apears that this is supposed to be a humor blog, right?

    People who come here without a sense of humor and start lashing out, should, in my humble opinion, be told to (you should excuse the expression) Fuck Off.

    By the way… Thanks to you, I have emptied my clothes dryer for the first time in I don’t know how long. Turns out I have waay more t-shirts then I thought. Thank you Aunt Becky. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Bwahahahaha! Loves it! Thanks.

  48. On September 5th, 2009 at 1:17 pm Kristi Stevens Says:

    You know, I’ve not had this problem (yet) on my blog. However, for two years before I started my blog I wrote exclusively over at DivineCaroline. Now, the readership over there is well – mind blowing. And I made a close personal friend (I mean troll) that just about made me start cutting (I mean drinking vodka every hour on the hour). This chick would hijack the comment section of just about every article I wrote. She apparently thought I was too hard on poor Sarah Palin (did you know I single handedly destroyed the woman with my widely read opinions of her?). Anyway, the troll who shall remain nameless (Cindy) gave me months and months of opportunities (hell) to learn and experiment on how to deal with trolls. It seemed the more I tried to diffuse her the worse it got. Then I decided to never engage her again. I thought for sure if I didn’t feed her she would go away. Well, remember that scene in Fatal Attraction where Glenn Close’s character tells Michael Douglas’ character “I WON’T BE INGORED, DAN!”? Oh yeah… she hated being ignored worse than me pissing her off with my comments (surperior intellect). So, what to do?

    I thought about quitting. Then I got mad. And started my own blog. Now that I’ve found my voice. I’m not shutting up. And I’m happy to hear that you won’t be either. As long as anyone will read my writing, I will write. As long as YOU write, I will read.


    There is no reason to give in to the haters. I get the “I Won’t Be IGNOORRREED” people sometimes too. Ignoring them is just, well, full of the awesome. Trolls HATE being ignored.

  49. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:35 pm Bobbi Says:

    So I just west outside to plant some stuff we got today and managed to get stung/bitten by a hornet. My hand is fucking throbbing and while I wait for the drugs to kick in I’m going to write the rant I’ve been thinking but not writing since this whole thing began. (I’m in a lot of pain and typing with one hand so let’s just ignore spelling and punctuation errors, shall we?) Some Christians are some of the most un-Christian people I know. (I said some. Take it easy the rest of you.) I’ll just bet that your favorite troll goes to church every Sunday and then spends the rest of her time passing judgment on everyone near her. And some not so near. What would Jesus do? He wouldn’t be a judgmental shrew who wants to make the world over in her own image. I kind of get the feeling that Jesus had a sense of humor. He threw good parties, drank – or at least had available – large amounts of wine, hung out with good friends, liked kids and animals, and treated people who were less than stellar with dignity. Your troll is a bitter angry woman who needs to take a good hard look at how she treats people.

    You, on the other hand, give voice to things that we all think. And I thank you for that. (Think I’ll save politics for the “after I get sprayed by a skunk” rant. Swelling’s gone down and the pain is letting up. Benadryl is a wonderful thing.)

    It’s like you reached inside what is left of my brain and put down onto the screen what I’ve always thought. Thank you. And I’m sorry about the hornet. Those assholes are awful.

  50. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:35 pm Mwa Says:

    I haven’t really been criticized on my blog, so I’m not sure, but I would like to think I’d have a little party. I do, however, have some very regular commenters, and when one of these DOESN’T comment, I read all kinds of weird things into that. Mainly “you are a pitiful human being and you don’t deserve to be a mother.” But I’d like to think that outright criticism is different. Because then you know what the problem is and you can defend yourself, or just think they’re an arse.

    It’s a hard line to walk to defend yourself without sounding too defensive. It’s weird and I haven’t mastered it. Usually, I step back and give it a moment or a couple weeks or whatever and try to be rational before responding. Or I don’t respond at all.

  51. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:41 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    I ignore trolls & delete them. My blog is my world and in my world there is disagreement but anonymous droning hate does not exist. And kittens poop rainbows. I have plenty of kittens, so I know.

    I also feel very sad for them. I understand the power that comes from being anonymous, of being free to say whatever the hell you want without consequences,the release of being able to actually tell someone how you really feel. To rush with the group mind to BURN THE HERETIC!!!! I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be rushing to judgment all the time.

    Like you, I’m always shocked by how exhausting it must be to be sanctimonious and right all of the time.

  52. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm Bluebird Says:

    I’m honestly still just in disbelief that this conversation even came up. It’s so absurd! I can’t decide if it makes me sad, or super pissed.

    As for trolls, honestly, I can’t seem to get past the thought of, “OMG, who has *time* for that???” Scheeze.

    I’m a little surprised myself. I shouldn’t be, but I am.

  53. On September 5th, 2009 at 12:59 pm Sunny Says:

    I’m sorry the trolls are getting under your skin. ๐Ÿ˜› Finding humor in life is so important… it keeps us going! Your jokes are harmless, you aren’t crossing any morality line as far as I’m concerned.

    The title of your blog doesn’t bother me, either. I sometimes say after a difficult day, “Man, I could use a stiff drink.” But actually I haven’t had more than 5 sips of wine in the past three years. I don’t drink. But it’s the idea of the drink that I’m referring too — the relaxation and numbness.

    When I first started blogging, ALL that I found were the rosy, annoying mother-hood-is-amazing-I-live-on-a-cloud blogs. This was my pathetic attempt at throwing them a middle finger. Whether it was wise, I don’t know. But I think it’s a little late in the game to be changing my name.

  54. On September 5th, 2009 at 1:01 pm Petrop the Awesome Says:

    Dude, I hate trolls. I mean seriously…why listen to someone who lives under a bridge and spends their day attempting to eat oddly intelligent goats? What kind of life can that be? Oh, and don’t get me started on their hair! Yuck!

    Oh. Wait. What were we talking about?

    I know! They look like one of the members of Ratt. How old school is THAT?

  55. On September 5th, 2009 at 2:14 pm Margaret Says:

    i think that the hardest thing about criticism as a blogger is that pesky little fact that yes, this is your life. It’s one thing is someone can critique a piece of fiction, like you said, but It’s My Life, Dammit! I think that this may not be so much of the authentic answer, but if anyone were to start trolling my blog, my answer would have to be to press the giant DELETE key. The simple reason is that I don’t hang out with people who don’t like me or are rude to me in real life, why bother doing it on the Internet? Maybe it would be different if I had a ton of readers, and now they’re mostly friends, but seriously. Poorly thought through criticism is not worth reading or leaving up for the world to see. It belongs in the garbage.

    An excellent, excellent point. That was what Dave and I were discussing: none of my readers have to pay to come here. This isn’t a well-edited book or a scripted movie: this is my life. You don’t have to like it, or how I live it, or what I say. Hell, you can think about what a shitty ass job I do here.

    But then you need to prove that you can do what I do, post every day, keep up with all my readers, tweet, facebook, and walk a mile in my day, before you can call me out on it here.


  56. On September 5th, 2009 at 2:17 pm Lucy Says:

    I don’t mind criticism. Well, that’s not true: only 6 people in the world even read my blog and bother to comment, so if one of them were to get pissed off at me and say something mean, I suppose I’d cry or hold my breath until I turned blue or something mature like that.
    It’s the stalky readers who don’t comment that bother me more. They click over to my blog from one blog in particular (not yours) and I don’t know what they want from me! Am I that interesting a train wreck to watch?

    I just like you. And the stalky ones don’t bother me UNLESS (like you mention), I get the impression they’re here for the freakshow. Maybe we should just offer them popcorn.

  57. On September 5th, 2009 at 1:30 pm Rebecca Says:

    I would do one of a few things…..first, I’d call them out on every single thing they tried to call me out on. Because I know your blog is good heart-ed fun and it brings a smile to my face daily…sometimes more than once a day because I always come back to read and re-read the comments. Anyway, you should dissect the nasty comment patrol and just tell them how horrible they are and what a tarnished life they must lead to have such a lacking of sense of humor. If they are mean to you, that gives you the right to be mean to them. Invite your blog lovers to join in on the fight because I will be part of that army!

    Also, the magical thing about owning a blog (I assume) is just to delete the comment because if I read someone’s ramblings about how you aren’t a good person, it would make me frustrated and angry and I just won’t hear it…I mean read it *covering eyes and humming*

    Blog about them. Learn as much about the hate blogger that you can and then create a blog about them. Except you trash their every existence. But be careful not to pull a Lori Peterson or was it Drew Peterson………I love you Aunt Becky but I’m so poor I really doubt I could afford a good legal team to free you from jail if something horrid happens.

    Which brings me to another idea you can fake a death or mental hospital stay. Make the blog haters think THEY caused the death or near death of the Great and Almighty Aunt Becky.

    Of course, you would have to FAKE the death and then come back as the Ghost of Aunt Becky. I really think I am addicted to your writing and without getting a daily dose of you, I’d be in the mental hospital

    Of course, you should only pay attention to those of us who are totally in love with you. Screw the rest. Cliche but true….You can make some of the people happy some of the time…but not all people happy all the time.

    Blushes. Thank you. I’m pretty sure I’d make an awesome ghost.

  58. On September 5th, 2009 at 1:59 pm Katy Says:

    i have to say that i’m one of the verbose assholes who like to comment on your blog. i’d like to think it’s because i’m smart and i know shit, but really, it’s because i LOVE talking. i want people to listen to me. i like telling people EVERYTHING i know and then have them tell me, “gee, katy, you sure are smart. i like you.” VALIDATION GOLD-MINE. i know, pitiful. buuuuuuut, i think that’s what some of the people were doing on that article. they wanted someone to tell them they are right or they needed to be part of some community. either that or they are jerks and think everyone else is wrong and they NEED to tell them they are wrong. i dunno; i’m not a fucking mind-reader. alls i know is that when you assume, you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’ my 4th grade teacher taught me that one.
    as for them actually coming here to bitch to you about how irresponsible you might or might not be, that’s A LOT of work just to be shot down by like 50 other people who will verbally beat their ass. cause you know you got like an army of heinous, sarcastic fans. you know the battle of thermopylae, like in that movie 300? yeah, it’d be like that. we’d be persia and trolls would be athens. but we’d keep gerard butler and his delicious computer-generated abs. mmmm. and wash him a bit…
    ALSO, when you said that you will hire actors to flail themselves upon your grave and yell, “WHY GOD!?”, i totally heard in my head william shatner as capt. kirk yelling “KHAAAAAAANN!”

    I want to say something pithy, but your last line has me snickering so loudly that Dave is questioning what is wrong with me. Ha!

  59. On September 5th, 2009 at 2:06 pm Katy Says:

    oh, and i know what you’re thinking. “katy, if you like to wax poetic, why not have your own blog where you can say all the fun shit you want?” umm… i’m lazy and unoriginal and when it comes time to write something, it’s never as funny as the comments i leave other people. i know, how sucky is the superpower of funny when you can’t do it on command? sad.

    Dude. DON’T get a blog. Keep your comments here! I love ’em.

  60. On September 5th, 2009 at 2:14 pm boobarella Says:

    As one of my ex’s used to say “fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.”

    Great fucking point.

  61. On September 5th, 2009 at 2:42 pm Betsy Wuebker Says:

    Heh. I already have. Some animal rights nutbar posted a diatribe in my comments section about how sled dogs are mistreated after we mentioned we found ourselves following the Iditarod Trail for a time in Alaska. Umm, that’s because it’s about the only trail to follow around there, because it’s like the friggin’ wilderness and stuff, but I digress…

    Hey, I don’t know whether sled dogs are mistreated or not. It seems to me they’re pretty heroic and stuff, but what do I know? Maybe all that mushing is not as great as getting toted around to classy restaurants in Paris. Whatever. I figured if this troller was so goldarned knowledgeable about the issue, she’d have a blog instead of a Google alert on Iditarod dogs. But she didn’t. So, I did the only rational thing and deleted the comment.

    I’ll be somethin’ if I’m gonna pay $6/month to host someone elses’s brain waves. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Your last line is seriously my favorite idea ever. What a great way to look at it.

    Mostly? I get trolled on my dogs too. Something about rabid dog people just makes them go after all of us. Weird.

  62. On September 5th, 2009 at 5:22 pm Suzy Voices Says:

    No trolls for me yet, but if/when I get one I’m sure I won’t know what the hell to do. You’ll be hearing from me at that point.

    I love it when a troll leaves a comment and the other commenters proceed to rip him/her a new one. That gives me great satisfaction.

    I love you and your blog, and I always will!

    My commentors, if it’s a recent post, always do me proud. It really pays to be friends with your readers.

  63. On September 5th, 2009 at 5:30 pm Lea Says:

    I also came across your blog via Cakewrecks (mmmm….cake) and I think you’re frikkin’ frakkin’ fabulous. I haven’t friended (is that even a word??) you on Facebook because I don’t want to appear stalker-ish, but I find your blog make-me-snort-like-a-fat-sow funny (I had to stop reading at work becuase of this; my coworkers found it distracting) and even though I’m an inexperienced blogger sans rugrats, you putting everything out there has given me the courage to do the same. So, Aunt Becky, I thank you, and someday, when I’m a rockstar (could happen!) I will title my first album ‘Fuck ’em All.’

    Please name an album that! I would be SO excited! And we should be FB BFF! Hooray!

  64. On September 5th, 2009 at 5:48 pm sharon Says:

    soooo jealous! i want trolls! ;0)

    u’ve handled this whole situation with such grace! i totally agree with every1 that said “fuck em all!” i don’t think i could b as nice

    or hey, i can always send my huge, muscular (fine as hell) hubby after em! ;0)

    They’ll come out of nowhere, I promise. And then you can bitch slap them! Hooray!

  65. On September 5th, 2009 at 7:06 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    If I was ever cool enough to have a troll, I’d take their IP from my stat logger, reverse lookup it to get the ISP, and email the comment to the ISP along with a threat of litigation if they didn’t reveal the identity of the party, claiming libel. Then I would drive to their house and leave a flaming bag of my feces on their porch with a note attached that had a clonetrooper helmet that said, “the internet is smaller than you think. be nice.”

    And if I never need a hand hunting trolls you will be the first person I call.

  66. On September 5th, 2009 at 6:08 pm mumma boo Says:

    Some people just aren’t happy unless they have their panties in a twist about something. Best to ignore them or they’ll keep trying to feed on ya. Rock on, Aunt Becky!

    Rock on Mumma BOO!

  67. On September 5th, 2009 at 6:13 pm Totally deranged Says:

    How many times on this blog have you stated that you aren’t a raving alcoholic? Plenty enough that I understand where you are coming from.

    It never ceases to amaze me that some people are not able to think outside of their own narrow, shallow opinions and let others be different. Live for yourself and let the complainers stay in their own cramped boxes. Your quality of life outside their pokey squares will be MUCH MUCH better babe!

    It’s true: we’ll never please everyone. Period. I gave up that a long time ago. And you’re right. Anyone who has read my blogs knows I’m being tongue in cheek, not serious. So PUT DOWN THE VODKA. Or don’t. Whatever.

  68. On September 5th, 2009 at 6:19 pm Dorothy Says:

    Aunt Becky –
    I wanted you to come drink with me.
    But I am glad we are all family.
    Seriously, come to Texas and hang.

    Some day I will go to Texas. I’m honestly dying to come down. One year, I will roadtrip my ass down there and it will be awesome.

  69. On September 5th, 2009 at 6:39 pm stephen geevers Says:

    You did right to vent your anger. Those of us who love you already know that you care, those who don’t might “get it” if they actually read your words. If you didn’t respond to the trollls they would assume that you would just do another shot of vodka instead since they already think you always do that, being mommywantsvodka.
    What has been thrown at you is what Maya Angelou would call “being pecked to death by ducks.” She would say “I won’t have it!” I want you to say that too.

    I won’t have it. What a great line. No, I won’t have that.

  70. On September 5th, 2009 at 6:56 pm Murgdan Says:

    I’m a new reader here…and for today would just like to say THANK YOU. I’m a pretty thick-skinned bitch, but trolls remind me of something I learned in, oh, 5th grade. “It takes hearing 10 nice things to cancel out hearing one bad thing.” Oh, and maybe that thing I learned in preschool about, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

    Now, nobody has to candy-coat things for me, or agree with me 100%, but it doesn’t matter how many good comments I read daily…it’s the one asshat who feels the need to verbally bitch slap me that completely ruins my day.

    Then again, I know when I’m writing, exactly which statement will get me the hate mail. I type it anyway…I publish it anyway. After all…the trolls just KEEP COMING BACK for more.

    Anyway…if the criticism is logical and presented in a respectful manner, I will by all means read it carefully. I have found it is rarely submitted respectfully though…and therefore the trolls can BITE ME!

    Thank you for this post today…after a nasty e-mail yesterday…I needed this.

    Disagreeing or being critical is one thing. That’s fine with me. I’m not right all the time (or even mostly) and I don’t claim to be the authority on anyone other than me. And that, THAT is debatable.

    I’m sorry you’re getting picked on too. It’s one of those situations where it’s so hard to determine what TO do. I’ve struggled with it before and no doubt I will struggle with it again. And you will to.

    But they don’t need to win. Period.

  71. On September 5th, 2009 at 7:18 pm Tina Says:

    You know what you should do? Post their shit for a good old-fashioned shaming. Seriously. My New Years resolution for 2009 was to call people out on their bs. If it means embarrassing them, so be it. They’ll think before they try it again.

    Ha! I thought about doing it a la Dooce. Maybe some day I will.

  72. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:36 pm swirl girl Says:

    who’s picking on you?
    should I slap ’em silly?

    It’s Pimp Slap time, yo!

  73. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:38 pm Sarah Says:

    OK, so I rarely comment on your blog because well, you get so many, I usually see what I want to say already written! But I do read, every single day, and all I have to say is this: WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously???

    As a recovering mommy alcoholic (for real), even I think not only is the name of your blog incredibly HILARIOUS, but also so much of what you write! Anyone giving you shit is full of shit. Huge ass horse shit.

    I joke about VODKA (my drink of choice once upon a time) all the freaking time. In fact, I love saying to my mom “so. Who’s pouring?” She doesn’t think its funny, but really, it is.

    I can directly link my alcoholism beginnings to very near my post-partum depression, and I GET THAT ITS A SERIOUS ISSUE. I lived it. But if I couldn’t find the humor in the disaster of my life, I never would have made it this far. Alive, anyways.

    So basically, FUCKEMALL I say. In fact, if I were you, I would temporarily rename your blog “Mommy Wants Alot of Vodka” for a week, you know, just to goad the naysayers and piss em off more. But hey, thats just me.

    I think I’m done now. btw, I love your writing and you cheer me up daily. KEEP IT UP SISTA.

    See, now, you just made me feel less nuts. BOTH of my parents are in recovery. BOTH OF THEM. And I figured, rather than be gloom and doom, I’d laugh about the subject. That’s how I handle stuff.

    Thanks for making me feel less silly.

  74. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:11 pm Jill Says:

    This is the best attitude about trolls I’ve seen in a long time. Don’t let the bastards get you down. There’s a reason they put a delete function on comments.

    Delete is a lovely key.

  75. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:26 pm amy d Says:

    It’s so hurtful that some moron would compare you to a woman who made such poor decisions. I have thought about you often this week as this woman’s husband went all over the news declaring her innocence and swearing she didn’t drink….that the toxicology results were wrong. Really? Is that why they found an empty vodka bottle in the wreckage???

    It’s highly disrespectful to the victim’s families for this man to be spewing such bullshit. You? Have nothing in common with this woman.

    Please remember all the laughs you offer to all us strangers! Love you, love the blog!

    THAT whole situation is just so, so sad. Just awful.

  76. On September 5th, 2009 at 8:27 pm cara Says:

    Someone needs to remind those mother truckers to take their bitter pills and return to the loony bin where no one is listening to them anyway!
    Keep on writing what is real and whatever you want. I need the daily laugh from your site to keep m sanity so you better no let those morons get to you.

    Ha! Bitter pills. I heart you!

  77. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:50 pm RJ Flamingo Says:

    I’m not sure I even know what a troll is, much less been the target of any. I mean, when I wrote about the abortion doctor who was murdered in church, I braced myself for attacks. What I got was new followers and BFF’s like you. ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t worry – I’ll be getting back on my soapbox real soon and give ’em all another crack at me. I just really wouldn’t worry about it. I guess. But that’s just me.

  78. On September 5th, 2009 at 10:09 pm Nicole Says:

    I honestly don’t get the whole troll thing . . . are those people being paid by some corporate conglomerate to spew their hatred or do they just have that much extra time in their day?! If you don’t like what someone has written, DON’T READ IT!

    Keep on, keepin’ on – I, for one, LOVE IT!

  79. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:27 pm tryingin2007 Says:

    tell all “those people” to piss off! I got pretty beat up when I posted that I had 1/2 glass of red wine when I was pregnant. I had to start moderating comments.

    “mommy wants chicken fingers” is another story. I’m a peta member. nuff said.

    Bwahahahaha! *ducks and hides from PETA*

  80. On September 5th, 2009 at 9:32 pm Leslie Says:

    I just recently found your blog and love it! I would be sad if you quit. I also love a good lemon drop! ๐Ÿ™‚

    There ain’t NOTHING wrong with a lemon-drop!

  81. On September 5th, 2009 at 10:19 pm Jennifer Says:

    I don’t know the news story you are talking about… Shit! Make me go look up something other than Facebook apps. I knew you were a bitch. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  82. On September 5th, 2009 at 11:29 pm Maggie Says:

    My dad used to say that if you walked into a bar and the bartender called you an asshole, maybe he was just having a bad day. If you walked into 10 bars and every bartender called you an asshole, then maybe you should rethink how you order your beer.

    Blogging is as blogging does. These ARE your thoughts, these ARE your feelings, these ARE YOUR stories.

    If someone cant take a joke, fuck them. WE ALL GET YOU, AUNT BECKY.

    And really, we’re the only ones that matter. ๐Ÿ™‚

  83. On September 6th, 2009 at 11:30 am Sam Says:

    I just recently started a blog, and then wrote a blog solely ABOUT not reading negative comments. I’m being totally proactive for when my blog takes off like a rocket on nitrous and assumes Aunt Becky cool-status. Genius! And ps: whenever someone stupid makes comments about my possible Final Destination (i.e. hell) I always sing “allll my friends are gonna be there TOO….) So other than your totally famous blog (which you write, and I read), we have that in common.

  84. On September 6th, 2009 at 11:58 am Kristin Says:

    The one and only time I had a troll, I deleted the comment, announced I had made it, and held a contest.

  85. On September 6th, 2009 at 6:07 pm Natalie Says:

    I can’t fucking stand trolls. I’ve gotten trolled on multiple occasions, which as you say, I guess in some ways means I’m one of the big ones now to actually garner negative attention like that. But I just really can’t understand how people can possibly justify being a judgmental asshole on something that absolutely positively doesn’t affect them. What I do, what I write about? Only really matters to my husband, dogs and cats, since they are the ones I live with. If I AM a trite, selfish, ignorant asshole – so what? I’m in my own little corner of the interwebs. Leave me the fuck alone if you don’t like it.

    The worst one I ever ran across (not on my site, and not directed towards me), was that the troll was justifying their abhorrent behavior by saying that it was teaching someone a required lesson in life, that they were enlightening the people they were trolling by showing them how stupid/boring/whatever they were. I thought, oh my GOD what bullshit…. what incredibly self-serving bullshit. They were doing it because they derived some sort of disturbed pleasure in it, and that was the end of it.

    If something is obviously trollish I delete, cry, and wail to my husband about how hateful people can be. If it’s even somewhat a valid discussion I leave it be – even if it’s really just not phrased in any sort of “nice” way, and I try to address it. To be perfectly honest the out and out trolls are much easier to deal with, because I don’t feel like it’s personal and I can delete guilt-free. Someone was getting their rocks off being an ass, and I want no part of it. It’s the people who come across as trying to be helpful, who either you “know” as a commenter or who really sounds like an honest person, those are much harder to handle, because it feels personal, it feels like for whatever reason this person doesn’t like me. And I hate that feeling. I know not everyone is going to like me, but it’s something else to really see right upfront how some people have such a twisted view of you. There’s a desire to react, to defend and explain. Which most of the time is pretty useless.

  86. On September 7th, 2009 at 1:24 pm Lindsey Says:

    Dear aunt becky,
    I love you and your blog (not literally of course, for if I did love you, having never met you, that would be a bit odd) and I hardly drink but that’s not to say that i don’t have moments (daily) when I think damn I need a drink… Of course then I have lots of moments each day when I imagine smacking some of my coworkers’ heads into the nearest wall… there’s a big difference in WANTING and DOING.

    keep it up… your blog makes me remember there is life outside of my cubicle

  87. On September 7th, 2009 at 1:28 pm Amanda@LadyScientist Says:

    The thing that bothers me the most about the side effects this story has wrought (I love the phrase “has wrought”) is the vilification (also love that word) of mothers who do drink responsibly. As a kid, I was always taught about drinking responsibly from the example that my mom set. She and my dad had wine or beer with dinner every so often and both were careful where driving was concerned. Their example of alcohol consumption was one of the things that stuck with me and probably kept me from making stupid decisions. Also, their example to drink in moderation when they had a strong motivating factor (me) to drink more is, in retrospect, one of their more admirable accomplishments.

    And, well, you know that you’re awesome. And, obviously, there’s a bunch of people, me included, that have the same opinion. So, there’s not much more to say about that.

  88. On September 7th, 2009 at 5:50 pm Sarah Says:

    Wow – missed this! Uh… THAT’S what I wanted to hear. Screw’em. SCREW’EM!!

    And… I don’t know how I’d handle it… but I’m happiest when I’m unapologetically being ME, no matter how many cows in TX drop dead every time I speak my mind – PETA can pack sand with the rest of them – so go go gadget YOU and don’t go changin’.

  89. On September 7th, 2009 at 11:50 pm Vodka Dave Says:

    I say you have a great sense of humor and if you can not express your thoughts and share them on a blog then where can you? I also raise my glass of vodka and orange juice to you!


  90. On September 8th, 2009 at 11:07 am Mrs Soup Says:

    I’ll bring the cheese if you bring the Vodka for our handbasket trip.

    <3 Love ya! And you are handling this all beautifully.

  91. On September 8th, 2009 at 12:35 pm Heather Says:

    I’m with you. It is always the stuff that I think is perfectly innocent that gets me thrown under the bus. All the stuff I expect controversy from seems to somehow get nothing.

    As for how to handle it… I’m not so sure I know the answer to that. I’ve tried taking down comments but inevitably I get someone who calls me out on that and makes it worse. I’ve tried not responding, responding, letting other readers respond and one time I even pulled a Dooce and put the comment up in it’s own blog post.

    I’m not sure any of it has made it any better. I think in the end you just have to assume that if these people have nothing better to do with their time then tear someone down they don’t know then it’s their loss, not yours.

  92. On September 8th, 2009 at 12:16 pm Kellie Says:

    If it makes you feel any better (or worse, LOL), I thought of you as I broke my baby food puree-er while attempting to make a frozen strawberry margarita on Friday night. You bring the vodka, I’ll bring the foofy drink mix!

  93. On September 8th, 2009 at 1:36 pm Coco Says:

    Oh, Aunt Becky, my darling…you know I will ALWAYS defend you from your trolls.

    I am Queen Bitch Troll Killa, yo.

  94. On September 8th, 2009 at 10:27 pm lola Says:

    Well, oddly enough, I don’t get trolls. If I did, I’d treat their criticism just the same as I treat real, live, brave souls who dare to criticize me: If there’s a grain of truth to their complaint, I’ll take it under advisement. If they’re completely wrong or if I’m particularly cranky, then I’ll squash ’em like an ugly bug.

  95. On September 9th, 2009 at 8:46 am Anna Says:

    I got accused of plagairism once.

    I called out the “anonymous” commenter for days and made a mockery of them and their idiotic ways. (If you can’t tell, I didn’t plagairize anything.)

    Then, sadly, I pulled the blog that was anything heavier than fluff and poop stories and have continued to tow the line of “okay, if I say that, who am I going to make mad today?”

    I’m angry, still, at myself for allowing that.

    And then I put up comment moderation. Which, ironically, I was de-activating when you were likely clacking away on this post. I figure now – anyone that comments can comment. Its not like I write anything with my heart or black holed soul anymore.

    You won, troll. (Wow, I’m not bitter, right?)

    Someone DID plagiarize me once, after Mimi was born sick. I didn’t go after them like I should have. And the first time you realize that someone will happily judge you meanly, it’s hard to go back and write freely.

    You could still do it!

  96. On September 11th, 2009 at 11:02 am Katie Says:

    Dude, I get trolls for the most random things. Apparently, right now, someone is simply seething that I didn’t deposit my daughter’s birthday money into her own bank account.

    I honestly don’t care if it’s anonymous, because I think that’s totally chicken shit and I don’t hang with chicken shit. If I don’t respect you, I don’t care what you think. Now, if mommywantsvodka said it was wrong of me to steal my daughter’s birthday money, I’d be sad. But anonymous? Eh. I don’t care.

    Anyone who doesn’t have the nuts to attach a name or an email address to their opinion obviously knows that they’re being nasty.

  97. On September 21st, 2009 at 3:58 pm trish Says:

    So, I’m obviously behind on my blog reading, but I think it’s rather fortuitous because this post is very inspiring after the BITTER posts that went up after SOME people didn’t win a stupid blogging award. And I’m not even talking about mommy bloggers! I’m talking about the quite nerdy section of book bloggers! Bloggers, who, after they found out they didn’t win an award, were all, These awards are too much like high school and I hated high school! And I want to be all, That’s weird, because the awards don’t remind me of high school, but your bad attitude does!

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