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May He Rest In Lizard Heaven


Now, part of the reason I feel so strangely about buying animals is because we tend to come across animals that need a home. This is how I happened to adopt Joey The Mean Hamster (a bad, bad idea) and the gecko that I named Robes Pierre.

I’d been oogling lizards for what was probably 10 years before we came across this gecko, who was owned by a kid who worked at the local pet store who had taken him when one of his friends had died (got that? He was third-hand goods). The Daver and I had been pricing out just what a gecko costs to set up when this kid offered us this gecko. Being the kind of people who take people up on these weird offers, Dave went to pick him up that night.

And Robes Pierre came our into lives already a geriatric. A scaly geriatric. And full of The Awesome.

He was never an awesome pet because he snuggled you or sought your attention, or even because he really gave a flying shit about you at all. He was awesome because he was neat to watch. I already have the world’s neediest animals, so I really didn’t need anything else clamoring for my attention.

Robes Pierre died over the weekend and although I knew that it was coming, I am still much more saddened by his ascent to, well, wherever it is that lizards go when they die.

Rest in Peace, Robes Pierre. You’re more missed than even you’d think.

posted under The Sausage Factory
27 Comments to

“May He Rest In Lizard Heaven”

  1. On May 12th, 2008 at 11:50 am kim Says:

    that is entirely sad. I’m sorry to hear about Robes Pierre…..


  2. On May 12th, 2008 at 11:55 am Dolores Schwartz Says:

    That just sucks!! I am sorry Aunt Becky!!

  3. On May 12th, 2008 at 12:03 pm DD Says:

    I have to admit, being a cold-hearted hag and all that, that a lizard would make a pretty nice pet for our home (if my son wasn’t so sissified).

    Your new pet, BTW, is very adorable. I think you should name him Squishy McSquishface.

  4. On May 12th, 2008 at 12:19 pm Lindz Says:

    ain’t it funny how the strangest animals grab a place in your heart!
    very sorry for your loss of Robes Pierre.

    he’ll be in cricket eating heaven.

  5. On May 12th, 2008 at 12:21 pm andria Says:

    RIP Robes Pierre

  6. On May 12th, 2008 at 12:29 pm Chris Says:

    “I already have the world’s neediest animals, so I really didn’t need anything else clamoring for my attention.”

    I love this statement. My children have been begging me to get them a dog, a cat, a hamster, a bird, a snake, and so on and so forth. My standard response is “Why would you need a pet when you can barely clean yourself.” End of discussion.

  7. On May 12th, 2008 at 12:49 pm kbreints Says:

    HA – Love the name

  8. On May 12th, 2008 at 12:55 pm b Says:

    Poor little lizard. I’m sorry.

  9. On May 12th, 2008 at 1:56 pm LaskiGal Says:

    But I bet he lived his final days as one happy little lizard!

  10. On May 12th, 2008 at 3:15 pm Backpacking Dad Says:

    Tasteless humour warning:

    Build a little lizard guillotine and finish the job.

    Tasteless humour completed.

    Tasty humour warning:

    There’s good eatin’ on one of those.

    Tasty humour complete.

  11. On May 12th, 2008 at 3:43 pm Vered - MomGrind Says:

    So sorry!!!

    And, it is so awesomely weird that you had a pet gecko. 🙂

  12. On May 12th, 2008 at 4:02 pm kc Says:

    Awww. No more Robes. I would say that I will miss him, but I barely knew him. He was cool and all, but he always hid under his cage stuff when I tried to look at him. Plus, I was scared to pet him.

    I hope he gets a steady diet of icky insects in Lizard Heaven.

  13. On May 12th, 2008 at 4:11 pm The Milk Maid Says:

    Poor leezard. RIP buddy!

    (So are you gonna get another one? Once the dust settles and all? Cause I want one too, and well you’d be a good “reason” to beg Jef for one- “All the cool kids are doing it and what not!”.

  14. On May 12th, 2008 at 5:47 pm Ames Says:

    RIP Robes Pierre ~ may you have plentiful crickets in lizard heaven

  15. On May 12th, 2008 at 6:10 pm Sara Says:

    You know, I just had a thought. You said no dogs, and look what happened. I say NO REPTILES and now I’m afraid of what might happen!

    And I’m creeped out by people who find lizards interesting and acceptable pets. You FREAK!

  16. On May 12th, 2008 at 6:30 pm baseballmom Says:

    Awww, I totally know how you feel. I thought I was weird when the kids’ (read: my) hamster died and I was SAD! She was so dang cute though, coming up to the bars of the cage to get raisins from me. Now they want a lizard, but we’ve been there, done that, and the problem is that they always want to hold them, and I’m afraid they’ll get away! We’ll stick with the fish, dogs, and bird.

  17. On May 12th, 2008 at 6:55 pm Jenn Says:

    Awww, poor Robes Pierre. That is sad. 🙁

  18. On May 12th, 2008 at 6:57 pm Kyddryn Says:

    I’m sorry.

    Lizard types go to a large, flat, sun-warmed stone with a free pass to get in and out of Hades so they may have fun frightening the phobics whenever they please.

    I heart lizardy types – they are simply cool.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  19. On May 12th, 2008 at 7:03 pm Cricket Says:

    RIP Robes Pierre. I think he went to French heaven with creme brulee.

  20. On May 12th, 2008 at 7:51 pm magpie Says:

    oh poor Robes. i know he had a nice life with you.

  21. On May 12th, 2008 at 9:32 pm Karen Says:

    RIP. Sorry you lost your friend.

  22. On May 12th, 2008 at 10:36 pm Painted Maypole Says:

    Robes Pierre is a fabulous name. I hope that his is off doing fascinating things in lizard heaven

  23. On May 13th, 2008 at 8:06 am Kristine Says:

    When pets die, it’s so sad, even if it’s expected.

  24. On May 13th, 2008 at 9:06 am Jerseygirl89 Says:

    That was a great tribute.

  25. On May 13th, 2008 at 10:04 am kalakly Says:

    You can never prepare to lose someone, something??? Is a pet a one or a thing?
    I hope you get a break from all this sad stuff and get some happy mojo back in your game. Enough already I say!!

  26. On May 13th, 2008 at 11:24 am Amy Says:

    Lizards go to the Rainbow Bridge too. At least that’s my thoughts on the matter!

    I’m sorry, may he rest in peace.

  27. On May 15th, 2008 at 12:32 pm honeywine Says:

    Lovely name. One hopes he didn’t have access to a guillotine…but that he does now. Strictly for the crickets of course.

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