Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Lifetime Member of The Pen15 Club


So it’s been a pretty rough week. Alex has donned his devil horns and has been literally plotting my eventual demise, not that I really blame him. But I just had the most hilarious exchange with someone who knows approximately 5 words:

(On the changing table)

Me: You have a full diaper. Let’s change it.

Alex (reaching downward): Penis.

Me: Yes, you have a penis.

Alex (poking penis painfully with index finger): Penis!

Me: Yup. That’s a penis all right.

Alex (gripping penis between thumb and index finger) Penis! Hahahahaha!

Me (sighs): That’s how I felt the first time I saw one.

posted under The Sausage Factory
38 Comments to

“Lifetime Member of The Pen15 Club”

  1. On June 4th, 2008 at 6:05 pm heather Says:

    HA HA!!! First of all, the PEN15 club is very exclusive. At work, we just “inducted” a new coworker into the club. He wore a badge around all day until someone clued him in on the joke. Second, I am so glad I have a girl.

  2. On June 4th, 2008 at 6:33 pm Cassie Says:

    HAHA. Who knew boys got so obsessed with their penises so early? I think I am in for a rude awakening with this boy…

  3. On June 4th, 2008 at 6:59 pm CLC Says:

    You are too funny. I still feel that way sometimes!

  4. On June 4th, 2008 at 7:12 pm DD Says:

    It’s always pretty funny, too, when they squeeze, pull or flick it. I’m referring to babies and toddlers.

    It’s not so funny when they are 35.

  5. On June 4th, 2008 at 7:39 pm Kristen Says:

    Oh my… needed that giggle…

  6. On June 4th, 2008 at 7:47 pm Lola Says:

    From birth to death, they’re obsessed with that thing. He’ll be humping the floor any day now. Oh, hell, if I had one, I’d never leave it alone!!

  7. On June 4th, 2008 at 7:59 pm Anita Says:

    Thanks for helping me pee in my pants just a little!

  8. On June 4th, 2008 at 8:55 pm magpie Says:

    LOL – thanks for sharing what it’s like to have a boy.

  9. On June 4th, 2008 at 9:12 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    I don’t think that males ever get over the miracle of their own, personal penis. But at least they’re honest about it.
    Bless ’em.

  10. On June 4th, 2008 at 9:36 pm Tombo Says:

    Hey, the penis is about the coolest thing we have on our bodies! A little wonder and awe is well justified. 🙂

    Seriously funny post!

  11. On June 4th, 2008 at 9:49 pm Holly Says:

    Little boys and their toys.

  12. On June 4th, 2008 at 9:53 pm Heather Says:

    Back when the boy was about Alex’s age, I was telling our pediatrician about his (the boy’s, that is) obsession with playing with it and twisting/pinching at it, when he and E exchanged a knowing look and informed me, almost simultaneously, “yeah, well, he’ll be doing that for the rest of his life!”

  13. On June 4th, 2008 at 10:28 pm Sara Says:

    So glad I only have girls!

  14. On June 4th, 2008 at 10:37 pm chris Says:

    I hope when he grows up, girls won’t point at his penis and say “Penis! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  15. On June 4th, 2008 at 11:03 pm Emily R Says:

    I love how into their little manhood these guys are. And their p-nises are so fricken cute, so I cannot blame them.

  16. On June 4th, 2008 at 11:12 pm kate Says:

    they still do that when they’re older too. boys are weird.

  17. On June 4th, 2008 at 11:20 pm mrs.spit Says:

    I think the fact it’s always there, dangling, would drive me crazy. . . .

    My first thought was “wow, that’s ugly!”

  18. On June 4th, 2008 at 11:43 pm Hope Says:

    Becky anytime I need to laugh I know I can count on you lol

  19. On June 5th, 2008 at 12:04 am Jenn Says:

    I’m going to second (or third) the emotion that I’m grateful for girls. That’s a story for the baby book.

  20. On June 5th, 2008 at 12:27 am pamajama Says:

    The hobby that will last a lifetime, showing it to girls and thinking they’ll be as impressed as he is with his little friend:)

  21. On June 5th, 2008 at 1:26 am Heather P. Says:

    Typical male!!

  22. On June 5th, 2008 at 1:41 am trish Says:

    I was babysitting these kids, a boy (oldest), a girl (middle) and another boy (youngest). The youngest boy was about 3…he still had to have someone watch him go potty (lucky for me it was only pee). As he waited for the golden showers, he looked up at me and said, I have a little penis, my brother has a bigger penis, and my dad has a REALLY BIG PENIS. I think that sums up what they think about from age zero to death.

  23. On June 5th, 2008 at 4:54 am Meg Says:

    What a crack-up. That so beats “dog”, “mum” and “ta”, which are the type of things jasper is saying!

  24. On June 5th, 2008 at 8:22 am Heather Says:

    OMG that’s funny!! Mine just grabs it, no words for it yet. It’s awkward enough for me to see him playing with it… I don’t know how I’ll feel when he knows the name for it!! 🙂

  25. On June 5th, 2008 at 10:19 am ramblingamy Says:

    My little guy has always been very gentle with his. Whenever he’s without his undies he cradles it in the palm of his hand like a dainty butterfly.

    I think he’s afraid it’s going to fall off!

  26. On June 5th, 2008 at 10:50 am Kristine Says:

    Mine just tugs on his, and I think “that has GOT to hurt!” But he laughs.

  27. On June 5th, 2008 at 11:23 am kbreints Says:

    Ah yes, boys will be boys… and auny becky will be aunt Becky…

  28. On June 5th, 2008 at 11:53 am Lainey-Paney Says:

    Gage STILL asks me why I don’t have a penis.
    “you lost it?”
    “you broke it?”
    “you put it in the ‘cycle bin?” (recycle bin)

    …and I still crack up every time!

  29. On June 5th, 2008 at 11:55 am Ames Says:

    At least now I know what I have to look forward to if I have a boy this time around…thanks for the laugh Becky!

  30. On June 5th, 2008 at 12:08 pm Amy Says:

    That is too funny! Sad that I laugh still when I see a pen15! I mean seriously a garden hose on a man, really, c’mon now!

  31. On June 5th, 2008 at 1:04 pm honeywine Says:

    I still can’t figure out how guys run with those things! lol

  32. On June 5th, 2008 at 1:20 pm kc Says:

    Hilarious. I love your kids.

  33. On June 5th, 2008 at 1:42 pm PiquantMolly Says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha

  34. On June 5th, 2008 at 1:50 pm C Says:

    LMAO How hilarious! Glad I found your blog. My son is 3 months old today, can’t wait until he discovers his dong. Guess he probably needs to find his hands first.


  35. On June 5th, 2008 at 2:20 pm tash Says:

    Good to know thinking with that part of the anatomy starts early.

  36. On June 5th, 2008 at 9:03 pm Denise Says:

    Sounds like Alex and Phoenix would get along famously. Both love their penis’ and being a pain in the ass to their mothers.

  37. On June 6th, 2008 at 7:34 am mandy Says:

    OMG that totally sounds like DREW. Except, he can’t say it. He certainly knows it is there though. My teenager is totally grossed out by it! I think it is hilarious.

  38. On June 7th, 2008 at 7:42 am Jerseygirl89 Says:

    Too funny! Lovebug still grabs his and grins every time I change him.

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