Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Legacy

July7

I knew from a very young age what I was going to be when I grew up. While the other kids focused their sights upon flying into space or fighting fires, in kindergarten I neatly drew a picture of myself, one that my mother has framed somewhere, that says, “Rebecca Sherrick” “Obstetrician.”

Because that was what I planned to be.

Would it have worked out if I hadn’t popped Benjamin from my nether regions, a pregnancy unexpected, a life forever changed by the furious meeting of two gametes?

I honestly can’t say. Who can see what might-have-been when what-is is right in front of our faces?

When I went back to school, a single mother with an autistic baby slung ’round her hip, I re-enrolled (which is highly UNLIKE Rick Rolling) as a nursing student, which meant two things:

a) None of the credits I’d obtained during my brief stint as a Bio/Chem major were accepted and I had to re-enroll in different, easier versions of similar classes.

2) I had to come to terms with letting go of a dream I’d had as long as I can recall.

The first year of pre-req’s was heaven for me. I’d already completed the more complicated and challenging versions of the same classes, so I quickly rose to the top of the class. I was chosen to TA for numerous science classes, putting me smack-dab back into the lab.

I couldn’t have been happier.

I left my first class as Student Nurse Aunt Becky in tears. I’m sure I looked half-insane, walking to the train, my bag full of books I didn’t give a shit about, openly sobbing the kind of ugly cry that comes from a broken heart.

Rather than entrench myself in sorrow any longer than I had to, I simply made new plans. I’d re-enroll in school and become a microbiologist once my son was old “enough.” I’d juggled single parenthood and schooling as much as I ever wanted to and I intended to see at least some fraction of the kid’s childhood.

I did and I have.

Nursing career handily abandoned as, for the first time ever, I was able to stay home with my son, things didn’t go quite as expected. The quirks I still found so charming made for lonely company as he preferred to live inside his head to being with his mother. Coming off an over-worked, beat-my-A’s-with-more-A’s high, I had hours upon hours each day to fill.

With something. Anything to make my life feel worth living again.

I obsessed over the grout between bathroom tiles – which, no matter how many toothbrushes I wore to nubs- could never quite come clean, my son happily watched the same video about the planets over and over. I waited for something, anything to tell me what the fuck I was supposed to do next.

“Why don’t you start a blog?” The Daver asked after I tearfully wept, once again, that “I hadn’t worked my ass off to sit around and wonder which fucking brand of dishsoap was better.”

I couldn’t have thought of anything I’d like to have done less than blogging. I’d never so much kept a journal, so blogging, writing down my thoughts so that someone, somewhere could be equally bored by them?

Fuck no.

Until I decided to do it.

Learning that I could write things that didn’t involve this:

was like learning I could breathe underwater. All this time that I tried to find meaning in the bathroom tiles had been for nothing. Because I had this ability and I could use it.

And now I do.

I’ve spent nearly four years here at Mommy Wants Vodka, and three before that at Mushroom Printing, telling stories. Some good, some awful, most mediocre. I’ve used my words to let you into my world. To see things as I do. To touch each of you reading these words in some way, even if it’s a disgusted “God, this chick sucks.”

The words I have written, the friends I have made, the connections I’ve foraged has been so much more than I’d anticipated. I have been beyond blessed.

And yet, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about going back into academia. To return to those glorious calculations and those beautiful microscopes, leaving the world of words squarely in my past. I wonder if that’s even possible; to shut one beloved door so firmly. I don’t have an answer.

So I’m left wondering: is this my legacy? A few pixels blinking on your computer screen? Words turned into sentences turned into paragraphs?

Moreover, is this enough?

74 Comments to

“Legacy”

  1. On July 7th, 2011 at 11:46 am Meghan Davis Says:

    You are an amazing person, and inspiration to myself and I’m sure countless others. Your blog is amazing, insightful, witty and dripping with delicious sarcasm. That being said…if someone had asked Aunt Becky the question of whether or not they should take the chance to go and fulfill a dream, that although they love what they do they feel as you do what would you say? (horrible Aunt Becky impression to follow) “Dear Is This My Legacy: GO. BACK. TO. SCHOOL. This is your moment take it and run like hell. Meanwhile we will all be here cheering you on from the sideline waving our vodka spiked sports drinks…” Okay so maybe not the best Aunt Becky I can do but I hope you get the point. We are all here cheering you on whether you are blogging or gettin your nerd on we will always be your Pranksters.

  2. On July 7th, 2011 at 11:54 am Anastazia Says:

    I really have to say thank you. Your blogs are far from sucktitude, and have let me know that A) I am not the only quirky mommy out there,B) you unknowingly helped me find other parents that have lost children so I no longer feel like I belong in a leper colony. C) It’s totally okay to want vodka! Lol. You have brightened many a day with your wit and charm. And helped me feel less alone,it’s hard enough being a parent in this world and then when you become a parent after the death of a child(or children) it damn near makes you ready for a thorazine shuffle. Nostrovia!

  3. On July 7th, 2011 at 11:54 am Ms Dreamer Says:

    Auntie Bex, there’s nothing wrong with this legacy. You’ve kept people smiling through the tears, brought knowledge to people scared out of their minds when the doctor tells them about the ence…the same thing as Amelia had, and given some of us a place to tell our stories: the good, the bad, and the impossibly ugly.

    I don’t think you could give this up. So do both, find an orgasmic balance. It doesn’t really matter what you ultimately decide – majority of your Merry Pranksters want you to be happy as well.

    Side note: I want a shirt that just says “Prankster” on it. Ya know, keep those out of the loop completely confused. 🙂

  4. On July 7th, 2011 at 11:57 am Teala Says:

    You are really great at making me think. Which can sometimes be a dangerous activity for me.

    Like you I was going to be a doctor. A pediatric surgeon to be exact.

    But during my freshman year of undergrad was filled with horrible stress, depression, and close family deaths. And because of all that happened, I couldn’t hack it in the pre-med classes. So I wandered away from that dream I’d had for longer than I can remember, moved back home, bounced between a few more schools and a LOT more majors; and one day, I fell in long with books, writing, editing, and proofreading.

    Now, I have a BA in English and am working on my MA in English. It’s not something I ever planned to do, and I’m still coming to terms with it. And I’m still trying to figure out what the hell I want to be when I grow up.

    BUT I am so happy and proud to say that I found something I love. Right now, it’s enough. There are so many things I want to do, but I have to continually tell myself that I have plenty of time to accomplish them.

    Aunt Becky, I just have to say: if Mommy Wants Vodka, Band Back Together, and Mushroom Printing…the words I and many others read daily, is your only legacy, it’s a damn awesome one to leave behind. You have made me think, laugh, cry, and go all Furious George. You are amazing, and you make me proud to call you my Aunt Becky.

    So whatever you do, remember all of your Pranksters. Remember we love you and we’ve got your back. No matter what.

  5. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:01 pm Marta Says:

    Is it too late to go back to your dream job of being an obstetrician? I think if its something you really want to pursue you should go back to school, go back to trying to get to your dream job. I’ve got a quote calendar at work from some vendor and one of the ones I saved was “Your regrets aren’t what you did, but what you didn’t do.”

    Your legacy will be more than your job, more than your blog, it will be your kids.

  6. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:03 pm Barnmaven Says:

    This? Not your legacy, at least not all of it. A part of it, but when the sum total of your life is laid out on the screen, it will be so much bigger than this. Your children, your marriage, your friendships, your blog, what you do in the future, as big as the universe and as small as a mote of dust.

    I think when we look at our lives in retrospect we realize that the very big things we did and the very small things we did carried an equal measure of importance.

  7. On July 8th, 2011 at 12:52 pm Kristin Says:

    What she said!

  8. On July 10th, 2011 at 12:48 am guinspeg Says:

    Well put, Barnmaven!

    ps – AB. Kick ass and take names. Isn’t that what you’d say to one of us? We all believe in you xxx

  9. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:05 pm Chris in PHX Says:

    Cant you be a foul mouthed blogging doctor?

  10. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:05 pm Kizz Says:

    If your legacy winds up being all the people you’ve reached and helped through all your sites then I think it’s a pretty damned good legacy. I bet it’ll be that and a bunch of other stuff, though. Good stuff, too.

  11. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:14 pm katrina Says:

    Aw Aunt Becky…..only YOU know if this is enough. If you want it, go for it! As a wise man once said, “it is better to have something to remember, than nothing to regret.” (f. zappa)

  12. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:17 pm Rebecca Says:

    I’m pretty sure at the young age of 6 I had no idea what an obsetritian was. I still can’t even spell the word. You do whatever it is that makes you happy and complete.

  13. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:22 pm Ali Says:

    Aunt Becky, if you still have your dream follow it! Don’t live with regrets. If it doesn’t happen then it’s not meant to be for that time, and there is always another chapter of life where you can try again.

    Till you decide what it is you want to do, just know that all your little pranksters love keeping up with you!

  14. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:36 pm Jenni Chiu Says:

    Fucking hard questions…
    I ask the same a lot.
    Do know that you blogging is awesomeness… even for us crazy lurkers who only comment every now and then.You in medicine will probably also be awesomeness. But you as mom- more awesomer than all the awesomeness.

  15. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:42 pm Sandi Says:

    Definitely, definitely and definitely follow your dream. Hopefully you will still find time for a weekly or even monthly post here as you’re too damn entertaining to stop all together. However, what you’ve done so far in your life is a huge achievement and I’m sure you’ve helped many many people through your blogs over the years. Good luck, whatever you decide – but keep in touch!

  16. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:42 pm E3 Says:

    I think your legacy is the thousands of people who have been touched by your blogs. Those to whom you offered a piece of yourself for a much-needed laugh, cry or moment of comfort. Your writing has made your Pranksters feel that they are not alone, and given them a safe place.

    Sounds like more than enough to me 🙂

  17. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:48 pm VA Blondie Says:

    Go for your dream! Do what makes you happy. I am actually a little jealous, especially if you are going back for a PhD in micro. (I have a master’s in micro, and did not like the publish or perish society that is hard science academia.)

    Why do you have to give up blogging? I follow a blog with a person who is getting her PhD in something. (Chemistry or physics? Her research involves nanoparticles, and I am not a chemist or a physicist. Just a dumb nurse.) There are also numerous MDs who have blogs. Just post as often as you can. We will still be here and love you!

  18. On July 7th, 2011 at 12:54 pm Shoshana Says:

    Why did you want to be a doctor? The analytics or the helping? Or the helping with powerful tools.

    I could totally see you as a patient consultant/ guide helping people decide between courses of treatment, sort of a “consulting doctor” the way Sherlock Holmes was a consulting detective for all the hard baffling cases, putting people in touch with information across a wider spectrum than available to most doctors who over-specialize.

  19. On July 7th, 2011 at 1:00 pm Tershbango Says:

    YES. It’s enough.

    Just the fact that you’ve consistently written for this long tells me it’s an outlet that you need.

    Think how many readers you’ve earned!

  20. On July 7th, 2011 at 1:06 pm Becky Mochaface Says:

    Do they have to be mutually exclusive? Why can’t you have microscopes AND words? If it’s still your dream, IMHO you owe it to yourself to take another shot. Whatever you decide, I’m still going to be here reading what you have to say. Even if it’s science-y stuff.

  21. On July 7th, 2011 at 1:17 pm Anna marie Says:

    I just smiled thinking about you going back to school and becoming Dr. Aunt Becky. That would be awesome.

  22. On July 7th, 2011 at 1:17 pm Anna marie Says:

    I just smiled thinking about you going back to school and becoming Dr. Aunt Becky. That would be awesome.

  23. On July 7th, 2011 at 1:21 pm lostrack621 Says:

    Aunt Becky, I only recently joined your following, but I wanted to comment and tell you to do what feels right to you. Whether it’s going back to school or staying a crazy-lady blogger (and I mean that in a fantastic way), do what you want to do FOR YOU. But, let me also say that the pixels blinking on my screen and the words you write help ME in ways I never thought another person – random person who I’ve never met and probably won’t ever meet in real life – could. You have brought happiness to my grad student life, which is difficult to do when I am insanely busy all the time. You give me glimpses of the outside world that I wouldn’t get otherwise and I thank you from the bottom of my planetary-scientist-Moon-studying-Mercury-discovering heart. (which is what I do, by the way – I’m a planetary geologist studying geologic processes on the Moon and Mercury). Talk about insane.

  24. On July 7th, 2011 at 1:45 pm Anna Says:

    I am normally just a lurker, but I wanted to weigh in on this one. Someone I know very well is a doctor, and I have to say, its not what they thought it was going to be. There is lots of “busywork”, time spent worrying that you are going to get sued, lots of paperwork, etc. Being a doctor is an awesome goal, I would just hate for you to spend all of the time & effort (and money!) to become one and then not like it. It is not how it was “back in the day”. You work a million hours for decent pay – but not the big bucks docs made back in the 80s. Now a large chunk of your pay goes to malpractice insurance and you can expect to be sued at least once during your career. My recommendation would be to really look into what you’d actually be doing day-to-day in the job and see if it really is your dream job.

  25. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:07 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You’re really right and I don’t think I’d become a doctor now. Having entered the healthcare industry, if only briefly, I realized how lucky I was NOT to have done it.

  26. On July 7th, 2011 at 5:19 pm Anna Says:

    Yes, we don’t all become what we wanted to be when we were 6, and sometimes that’s a blessing! You just have to figure out what your new dream is now. Let me know what you figure out…I’m still working on that one!

  27. On July 7th, 2011 at 1:58 pm Alex@LateEnough Says:

    I wonder this at times. Is blogging transient until I go back to my ‘real dreams’ or ‘old dreams’ or create ‘real dreams’? Or will I just jump from thing to thing because it’s not about work at all?

  28. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:06 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s something I’m constantly wondering. Is this it? Is this what I’m “supposed” to do? I love what I do, don’t get me wrong, but is it enough?

  29. On July 7th, 2011 at 2:35 pm steph Says:

    I wish I had a magic answer for your questions. Unfortunately, I have similar questions myself.

    I am certainly the reluctant stay-at-home mom and have been planning for the “what’s next” since before my daughter was even born. Sometimes I plan for it so much, that I fail to notice what is going on now, and then I feel bad.

    Your blog has helped. If helping is why you wanted to be a doctor, then you have certainly accomplished it even if it wasn’t the way you intended. The home gig is a lonely one…which I didn’t realize. Four bloggers (you included) have helped me feel like I’m still part of the real world and not the only bent one in the Stepford Sea.

    Even if your dreams take you back to school or other places, thank you for being my Aunt Becky for at least awhile.

  30. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:05 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Your comment made me cry. In a real way. Thank you. I needed this.

  31. On July 7th, 2011 at 6:34 pm KaraB Says:

    That is an amazing comment and I think a lot of us feel similar. Thank you Aunt Becky.

  32. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:09 pm Dr. O Says:

    I know I don’t comment all that often, but I LOVE reading your blog. You’ve put me in touch with some meaningful writers through Band Back Together, and I’m sure that connection has helped some of my more regular readers, as well as some passersby at my blog. So I think your legacy is a good one, even if it only amounts to “a few pixels blinking on [my] computer screen.” But you and I know your legacy is much larger than that.

    On the other hand, I constantly wonder if my career in academia will amount to anything worthwhile. Sure, I love what I do, but will my research ever amount to something meaningful? I sometimes wonder if I’d have a much larger impact leaving research to teach high school. In fact, I know I would. But here I am, riding this roller coaster until it kicks me off, screaming all the way, and trying to find enough spare time to raise my son.

    In the end, my children will be my ultimate legacy, and I try to remind myself of that fact when work begins to get all-consuming.

  33. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:10 pm Kristen Says:

    Aunt Becky, I too am a normal lurker, but this post inspired me to give my two cents. I think you should always follow your dreams. I didn’t follow mine, but I am happy. I spend a lot of time wondering “what if”. At this point in life, I don’t have the means to pick up and follow them, but one day I will. And when that day comes, I hope I am not too scared to grab hold and let it take me. I certainly don’t want you to stop blogging. (I visit your page at 11am and hit refresh until the new post is up). 🙂 If you do decide to become Doctor Aunt Becky, maybe you could post one a week???? Your Pranksters think you are fantastic. Best of luck to you, whatever you decide.

  34. On July 7th, 2011 at 4:07 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You know exactly when I write! I love you for that! Seriously, I’m beaming.

  35. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:15 pm Ryan Says:

    Aunt Becky,

    Your blog quite simply “Rocks” and I for one, do not miss a posting.

    However, go with what your heart tells you to do as there is nothing more sad than a life lived with regrets or what if’s. A simple way of making the decision, Flip a Coin. Your heart will tell you the answer it wants before that coin hits the floor. I don’t mean to sound flippant, but it works… your heart and soul will always tell you which way you should turn, which path your should tread. Most of us just don’t listen.

    Whatever you choose, know that there are a whole whack of us out here who carry a piece of you with us every day through your writing! Now, it’s time for me to “shut my whore mouth” and for you to flip that coin!

    Hugzs

  36. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:28 pm AV Says:

    Lurker here but this post spoke to me and I had to say something…
    I got married real young, and my husband and I started university together promising each other to support each other and we agreed to not have kids until I was done with my undergrad (Bachelors of Science in Biotechnology)…

    I got through one and a half years before I got baby fever. I tried to console myself…I thought of getting kittens…but I couldn’t help myself…I cried every month when Aunt Flo came…and I managed to convince my husband to TTC…Our first child was born a year later…I had initally planned on going back to school when he was 9 months old but I got pregnant again a mere 2 months after he was born…a surprise baby…I found out i was pregnant only 6 weeks before classes started.

    Heck yeah, I cried. I thought I was losing myself…I thought of all the dreams I had…I wanted to be an OB too…I wasn’t supposed to be a baby making machine…but then I ended up in the hospital because my water broke at 22 weeks…then, Aunt Becky and fellow Pranksters…my world changed. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks…able to see my first baby for just a couple of hours each day…going to bed in a cold sterile hospital bed without my husband and our son and I started reconsidering…

    The intense worry and love I had for my unborn child reminded me that being a mother was not a substandard job…i wasn’t useless. My husband would tell me that at night our first child would turn towards my side of the bed and reach out for me…then turn towards my husband’s side and reach out to him and thinking it was me, try to nurse…I got to go home when I stabilized but that time in the hospital opened my eyes to the fact that my kids needed me! More than I needed to go back to school and unnecessarily burden myself even more…raising children to be well-rounded adults is not an easy thing to do…when they grow up and contribute to society in the most beautiful and healthy ways THEY ARE YOUR LEGACY. They need you to show them the way…you have the chance to mold them into the perfect citizens of this world…

    Sorry for the ramble but Aunt Becky your legacy is your work…what you are doing with Band Back Together and your other blogs is nothing short of awesome. And I hope you never doubt your choices or your importance to us, your loyal, loving Pranksters.

  37. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:35 pm ChiMomWriter Says:

    Your reach and legacy is broader than just some words on a blog. Your scope of writing, extending from the witty and sarcastic to providing necessary resources for those in need of help, is truly amazing. The quality, the depth and the amount that you are able to cover on your sites is astounding. Along with the time you log answering your pranksters. And creating nonprofits. And writing books.

    So, if you’ve got an itch for some schooling, girl, do it. If there’s one thing you’ve proven, it’s that you can tackle just about anything. (And no one ever got hurt by at least applying!)

    And if you decide school isn’t want to spend your time, just remember that your legacy isn’t “just” anything. You’ve built real communities.

  38. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:37 pm Angie H Says:

    Sitcom. Definitely. Write a pilot! 🙂 Your posts frequently remind me of the sort of shows I would follow faithfully if it came into my home and played out before me!

  39. On July 7th, 2011 at 3:37 pm SarcasminAction Says:

    Follow your gut. You have strong instincts and they are speaking to you now.
    You’ve done great things in life already, and will continue to do more.
    If you’re asking yourself, is THIS all there is?? Is THIS it??….then it isn’t. Seek and ye shall find.
    Don’t be scared. Don’t be your own obstacle.
    Dare to make a change from what’s comfortable.
    Go Becky Go!!

  40. On July 7th, 2011 at 4:53 pm Katie Says:

    You make me feel like I am not alone. You make a connection with people, every day. That’s a pretty kick ass legacy

  41. On July 7th, 2011 at 4:57 pm KYouell Says:

    I want to be cool and supportive and tell you to follow your heart like others have, but I had a hard morning today and all I really want is to scream at you through teh interwebs, “DON’T LEAVE ME!” Selfish but honest. You help so much, you are helping so many. I’m sorry to be so needy, but like I said it was a hard morning.

  42. On July 7th, 2011 at 5:19 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Sometimes, it’s the truth that matters. I appreciate you saying so. Because I? I don’t think I can walk away from my words any longer.

  43. On July 7th, 2011 at 5:29 pm kim sisto robinson Says:

    Aunt Becky,
    Shit, Girl,
    your fans write you freaking novels.
    Is that because you rock the ages?
    I don’t even know that that means.
    “But is sounded cool.
    Interview up soon. xxxx Kiss from Mn.

  44. On July 7th, 2011 at 5:36 pm Dr. Cynicism Says:

    You’re a damn fine humorist – so that’s a skill you’ll always have with you, and one you’re good at. As far as getting back into academics, I totally understand; I wouldn’t be a professor now if academia didn’t have something that pulled me into it. If it’s eating at you, then maybe there is something to pursue there. But please, please, please don’t think that what you do now is just some ho-hum thing that doesn’t mean anything. Few people pull off what you have done.

  45. On July 7th, 2011 at 5:38 pm Michelle Says:

    I often wonder this myself. Is this why I’m here? Was this really how things were supposed to be?

    At my 10 year high school reunion, I was one of the few who wasn’t a doctor, dentist, lawyer, etc. I wasn’t a career woman. No, I was broke, married, had two kids…blah, blah, blah. Fast forward six year later and here I am, still the same ole broke chick. Still married. Those two kids are older & grate my nerves a little more. 😉 But, I’m in school. Grad school to be exact. I’m finally finishing the degree I started back in 2005. I want to be a teacher. By the time I’m establishing myself in a career, most of my friends will have been in their “niche” for years.

    I asked my sister a couple of years ago if I’m some sort of failure because my life hasn’t been what I envisioned and she told me know. She told me that I have failed at nothing because I have two children who are the world to me. That’s nice & all, but I have my moments when I just wish I would have done things differently. I don’t know.

    I think, though, that you should do whatever it is that feels right in your heart. I’ve had people doubt me. I’ve had people ask me if a Masters degree is really going to matter. I’ve had my fair share of people tell me that I’m just wasting time and money {these are also the same people who view me as a stupid woman, but I’ve since written them off}. You do what is right for you…everything else will follow along. And, if anything, in your children’s eyes you’ll be viewed as not only a hero, but as a source of inspiration…and that is how I hope my children see me.

    Oh, geez, now I need something alcoholic & chocolate. 😉

  46. On July 7th, 2011 at 5:39 pm Michelle Says:

    “I asked my sister a couple of years ago if I’m some sort of failure because my life hasn’t been what I envisioned and she told me know.”

    Clearly, I fail at proofreading!! LOL

    Know means no. Ha!

  47. On July 7th, 2011 at 5:47 pm Nancy P Says:

    I don’t write that often and I have yet to post to Band Back Together but oh my lord I swear on my stash of wine that I hold on like a lifesaver knowing Aunt Becky and the band are there.

    That said, of course I hope you do whatever you need to do for YOU. God knows you have done so damn much for others, more than you will ever realize.

  48. On July 7th, 2011 at 5:52 pm Polish Mama on the Prairie Says:

    I only started very very recently following you and reading your blog (which I enjoy) but you are asking the questions I am asking myself as well and I have not even been blogging one year already. Whatever you do, I wish you lots of success and happiness.

  49. On July 7th, 2011 at 6:45 pm DrLori71 Says:

    It’s not too late for you. The oldest student in my med school class was 41 when she started. Many of my classmates were on second or third careers, not 22 year olds straight out of college.

    Be proud of your writing. It IS a great legacy to have. Trust me, I’m a doctor.

  50. On July 7th, 2011 at 6:53 pm jess Says:

    Just joining in on the love Aunt Becky orgy. Seriously though, you really have given a huge gift to many, a sense of belonging, the ability to say, thank god I’m not the only mother that thinks, talks, dresses, acts, etc, this way. That the perfect PTA robot mom is not the only normal, and that is a bigger gift than I could possibly say thanks for. But I think a lot of moms are in your same boat, unsure if they can achieve their before kid dreams, if those are even the same goals, and if not, what the hell am I supposed to do! I guess its just part instinct and part getting out and trying. But please say you’ll still blog about your new adventures!
    And I wanna get in on the Prankster t-shirt idea, bc inside jokes totally rule.

  51. On July 7th, 2011 at 8:36 pm Kate Says:

    I wish I had the answer to a very large, very hard (but maybe not so large or hard) question.

    Whatever brings you peace and love, I think. My attempt looks like work, school, and single motherhood while trying to remain present and grateful- remaining aware and embracing the entire journey. If you go for it, do something wildly different, hooray for you and all the good juju juices you’ll be stirring up. We’ll miss you, but I think your loving Pranksters would rather know you’re happy and kicking ass than anything less!

  52. On July 7th, 2011 at 8:57 pm Brooke Farmer Says:

    “Words turned into sentences turned into paragraphs…” Yes. That’s enough. Some people (read: I) work their whole lives for that alone.

    And yet, if that isn’t what you are working towards, if that isn’t where your passion lies, go find your true passion and throw everything you have at it.

  53. On July 7th, 2011 at 9:09 pm Sarah Says:

    Why not go back to school? You don’t have to close the blogging door completely. You could post less here or do guest blogs else where.
    You’ll figure it out. I have faith in your awesomeness.

  54. On July 7th, 2011 at 9:23 pm Becca Says:

    Only you know what you’re version of enough will be. You have a legacy for your kidlets already just by being you, but you know that right?? I would miss your words horribly though, just saying.

    Becca

  55. On July 7th, 2011 at 9:23 pm Becca Says:

    Only you know what you’re version of enough will be. You have a legacy for your kidlets already just by being you, but you know that right?? I would miss your words horribly though, just saying.

    Becca

  56. On July 7th, 2011 at 10:02 pm A Field of Dreams Says:

    Aunty Becky = Author. That is all…

  57. On July 7th, 2011 at 10:12 pm ScienceGeek Says:

    Your legacy is decided by those you have touched. And hon, you’ve touched us all in the best possible way.
    If you’re thinking of going into science, for what it’s worth, I’m a research assistant and I write every damn day, sometimes the necessary work-related writing (grants, ethics applications and, when it’s reached the Oliver Twist level of neglect, my lab book) and just as often, I’m pouring words out into a vague approximation of fiction. Also, fluency in swear-words is a requirement for science. Bonus points if you come up with something that breaks a student’s mind.

    If you decide to do a PhD and aim to be Aunt Lab Head Becky, you know you’re going to be writing until your fingers fall off. And don’t think your time blogging is going to be wasted. Someone who can write the story of the science in a way that’s both entertaining and understandable is worth their weight in cupcakes. Cupcakes made of gold. Cupcakes lovely hand-crafted in gold by people who’ve spent all day in a lab and now have to sit in a dark lecture theater that’s five degrees too cold and try not to fall asleep.

    Er… what I mean is, I think your legacy is already awesome, and if your desire to hang around microscopes is an interest in science, on behalf of people who get way too excited about RNA and cytokine receptors, come hang out with us!

  58. On July 7th, 2011 at 10:36 pm Kristin Says:

    You know, just grab something and run with it. I teach college US History as an adjunct at 4 different community colleges. Not what I planned but I’ve enjoyed it. I’m 38. I tell my students when I grow up I’m think about library science. Or just working in a bookstore. I don’t know when that moment will be but I say, when the moment strikes and if you can, go for it!

  59. On July 7th, 2011 at 10:36 pm Kristin Says:

    You know, just grab something and run with it. I teach college US History as an adjunct at 4 different community colleges. Not what I planned but I’ve enjoyed it. I’m 38. I tell my students when I grow up I’m think about library science. Or just working in a bookstore. I don’t know when that moment will be but I say, when the moment strikes and if you can, go for it!

  60. On July 7th, 2011 at 11:24 pm sue j. Says:

    I was going to say artwork isn’t your destiny, but that’s mean, so I take it back. You’re someone whose left and right brain works, which is unusual and very cool. Whichever pull is the greatest, go with it. Or not. Your choice.

  61. On July 7th, 2011 at 11:58 pm Michy Says:

    If a legacy is something based on how many people whose lives you’ve touched, then yes, this is ENOUGH. If it is based on something inside you that needs to be fulfilled, then we probably can’t answer it for you.

    I will say this though, if you totally left the blogging world, I would really, truly, deeply miss you and your words.

  62. On July 8th, 2011 at 1:15 am Kristin Says:

    Sweetie…this is not a small legacy. It’s an amazing legacy. You have helped so many people through Band Back Together and by sharing Amelia’s story. However, you need to do whatever it take to satisfy the cravings of your soul. You are a brilliant, inspiring, talented woman and will kick ass at whatever you decide to do.

  63. On July 8th, 2011 at 1:38 am Jenn Says:

    Personally I think follow your dreams (obstetrics/ micro-biology/ nursing… whatever) because you’ll always wonder… “what if…”.
    Once you’ve done it, and if you decide you don’t want to play that game after all, then you can write your book. But that “what if…” thing is a bitch and never goes away. Do what you love and everyone and everything around you is blessed.
    Just my opinion.

  64. On July 8th, 2011 at 1:43 am Jenn Says:

    Oh… and you can blog on the side… even if it’s three times a week – I study (Accountant), have a 3 yo, a husband, a full time job in Tax and a part time job in sales, and I still find time to blog at least three times a week – granted… it’s from my phone (God bless BB!!).

  65. On July 8th, 2011 at 2:31 am Joules Says:

    It’s enough if it’s enough for YOU. Most of us don’t become what we wanted to be as kids. If we did I’d be a ballerina artist who writes books. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of that thing that we were always reaching for, to let something go unfinished. I think the most important thing is to finish only the things we truly still want to instead of spending the precious little time we get doing something out of habit or obligation.
    Your legacy will be this blog, your other blogs, all the people you have touched and helped through those blogs, your kids, your relationships, hopefully your books(hint, hint) and the other projects that your crazy creative mind is bound to unleash on the world.
    Let me tell you, it is enough and it is RAD.

  66. On July 8th, 2011 at 7:00 am Barbara Says:

    I’m very glad you started your blog as I enjoy reading it everyday. You are a great writer that is clearly passionate about what you do. Your blog is more than enough, but if you want to go back to school DO IT! You only get one life, live it your way.

  67. On July 8th, 2011 at 1:25 pm John Says:

    Aunty Becky – you’re more than just a few pixels to most of us . . . your regular posts are a little reminder that days are better with witty comments, heartfelt stories, oddball tangents, and, most importantly, constant creativity.

    I don’t post to my blog nearly enough, but I absolutely love that you keep yours up so well. Your love of writing, and your love of life, comes across more strongly than a slap in the face from a hollywood leading lady. It simply can’t be ignored.

    Your writing your blog makes others want to write more – to capture some of your inner-Becky.

    If you do go back to academia, we know you’ll kick ass, because that’s what you do. If going back to academia meant you couldn’t post as much, we’d support you, but we’d miss you. Something fierce.

  68. On July 8th, 2011 at 1:26 pm Kristi Says:

    During a very long, bad time you and PW made me laugh. Which probably didn’t rock your world, but it made a big difference over here. On days when my three healthy, insane, energetic, LOUD kids are on me like white on rice, you reminded me to be grateful rather than psychotic. Again, you probably didn’t feel the magnitude of that over there, but it was the difference between night and day.

  69. On July 9th, 2011 at 1:31 am Walkingborder (Karen) Says:

    I don’t know if THIS blog will be your legacy if you don’t go back to school, but Band Back Together very much would be. Yeah, Doc Becky could leave behind a great legacy, but Bang Back Together Becky, would up being a pretty damn good one too. Band Back Together HAS saved lives, Doc Becky probably would too. Six of one, half a dozen of another. So I’d worry less about the legacy, and more about what would make our Aunt Becky happy.

  70. On July 9th, 2011 at 11:17 am Raisel Says:

    I hear you, I really do. I’ll be 40 next year and we’re just now starting to dig our way out of debt, and we don’t have any children yet, and I hate my job…I too wonder if I’m enough. I thought I would have achieved more by this point in my life, that I would have made some kind of difference or been influential in some way. I know this is vague and that may be part of the problem – I’m not really sure what kind of change I thought I would effect.

    My husband’s grandmother died a couple of years ago and at her funeral, the pastor gave the best eulogy. He said that she had lived her life simply and fully and that she had done good where and how she could – in small, yet very meaningful, ways to those who came in contact with her. She didn’t make a zillion dollars or cure cancer or become wildly famous. But she lived her life meaningfully. She was very gentle and kind and loving.

    When I think about this eulogy, I think that may be the best possible way to be known in your life and to be remembered.

  71. On July 9th, 2011 at 11:02 pm badbadwebbis Says:

    I went back to school at the age of 36 and I do not regret it at all ever in the least for one minute.

    If you want to give it another shot, do it. Even if medicine is not your thing, I do believe that science is. My brother works in medical research (he played around in college too much to get into medical school) and he loves it.

    I don’t think you’ll ever regret not giving education another shot.

  72. On July 11th, 2011 at 9:07 am Wombat Central Says:

    I’m thinking if you’re asking us this, you already have an answer in your heart. Or gut. Or some other internal organ that you could identify far easier than I. I agree with those who are cheering you on to do what you’re feeling like you should do, as well as those who suggest that you might still stop by here to share some words now and again. Even though we’d miss the more frequent posts, I know we would collectively be cheering you on in your new endeavors.

    You go, girl. (just come back sometimes, m’kay?)

  73. On July 11th, 2011 at 2:10 pm Joker_SATX Says:

    Great post….Hey, if you can keep this Joker interested, I would say it’s a WIN!

  74. On July 12th, 2011 at 12:01 pm abandoning eden Says:

    A. I’m in academia. I have a blog. The two are not mutually exclusive. Yes you probably won’t be able to update every day the way you regularly do, but that doesn’t mean you have to give one up for the other

    b. You have a nursing degree/certification already? Not to discourage you from medical school (although I just watched a bunch of friends go through it and it seems pretty horrific) but if you are still interested in Obstetrics, have you considered becoming a certified nurse-midwife? Seems like it would have all the benefits of obstetrics without spending the next 4 years in med school and then another 4 years as a resident…

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