Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » 2011: You’re Officially Off To A Good Start

2011: You’re Officially Off To A Good Start

January1

My life is complete.

This is what brought people to my blog today, in the wee hours of this morning.

Jimmy Wales Wikipedia stop begging for money

Jimmy Motherfucking Wales!

Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia (that’s probably how he probably signs his checks)(I sign mine, Becky Sherrick Harks, Mummy Hunter Extraordinaire, ESQ)(don’t judge, Pranksters), it appears that I am not the only one who has a problem with your “I’m Judging You As You Search Wikipedia For ‘Vagina Itch'” eyes.

(here’s my aside: why don’t you get a puppy to stare cutely at me instead? I’d be more inclined to give money to a puppy than to you.)

2011, I’m already humping your leg.

posted under Jimmy Motherfucking Wales

27 Comments to

“2011: You’re Officially Off To A Good Start”

On January 1st, 2011 at 12:15 pm Carri Says:
HOLY CRAP. That is epic epicness right there. You know you’ve got good content if “drag queen fucking” points people to your blog.
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:25 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
RIGHT? Fucking EPIC.
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:15 pm Kristin Says:
Ummmm what people search for to get to your blog scares me. But Jimmy Wales also scares the shit out of me. Every time I see him I no longer want to go to Wikipedia but they have ALL the mother facts dammit. It’s bullshit. Damn You Jimmy Wales.
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:25 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Trust me. It scares me more. There’s a reason I only have the top 10 available for me to look at. I don’t need to see that shit.
On January 1st, 2011 at 1:12 pm Kristin Says:
OMG if that’s only the top 10. How do you sleep at night? Do you have nightmares cause the top 10 kinda make me wanna go to the corner and rock and weep. It’s so cold.
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:25 pm Heather Says:
Epic!! They need to rename the internet to Aunt Becky’s World!!
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:27 pm Halala Mama Says:
While I am enjoying the whole Jimmy Wales thing, the rest of your key word searches are enough to curl my hair! Hahaha!
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:34 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Page two is always worse.
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:43 pm Halala Mama Says:
Well then, I HOPE that was page two…and I think I would always go there first! 🙂
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:28 pm Yvonne! Says:
“Aunt watched me suck my own dick”. Seriously?? Did I miss something?
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:34 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Hahah! It’s a combination of keywords. I’ve used all of those words…SEPARATELY. Some Uncle Pervy searched for that combo and wound up here. Sure they left in a hurry.
On January 1st, 2011 at 8:17 pm Suzie Says:
Seriously. That’s the one that caught me off guard the most. LOL
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:30 pm Natalie Says:
All I have to say is that you get WAY more colorful things bringing people to your blog than I do! That’s why I love it over here so much 😉
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:33 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to see page two. I CAN’T see page two. I’m not unhappy about that.
On January 1st, 2011 at 12:52 pm jules Says:
We actually had a teacher in our building who DID sign her name: Mrs. Name, NBCT
National Board Certified Teacher

Mind you, she SUCKED as a teacher. As with all certifications, it’s a bunch of tests, portfolios, and BS. But she wrote it on EVERYTHING, including little notes home to parents.

The teacher across the hall from me was about to retire so he started signing his name: Mr. Name, R
Retired

I miss him.
On January 1st, 2011 at 1:00 pm Rebecca Says:
I hope 2011 is better to everyone that 2010 was. Happy New Year!
On January 1st, 2011 at 1:06 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:
How did I miss the drag queen???

and what were the boring things???
On January 1st, 2011 at 1:10 pm Jeannine Says:
That’s pretty amazing Aunt Becky!
On January 1st, 2011 at 2:21 pm Neeroc Says:
The thought of being able to see how people are stumbling over my blog scares me. The last popular one for me was ‘ass parades’ someone was mighty disappointed by the time they got to my site!
On January 1st, 2011 at 2:25 pm Lucy Cooper Says:
Drag queen fucking. Brilliant. That’s got to put a spring in your step!

Happy 2011……
On January 1st, 2011 at 2:57 pm Kristin Says:
I’m jealous of your search words. Absolutely hysterical!
On January 1st, 2011 at 9:40 pm Magpie Says:
You are more and more amazing everyday.
On January 1st, 2011 at 10:18 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
My search terms bring all the boys to the yard….Or…maybe not.
On January 2nd, 2011 at 9:30 am Kelly Says:
Your search terms are way more interesting then mine. Although I have had searches for “recipes for making monkey soup…” Um, ewww…
On January 2nd, 2011 at 11:54 am Meg at the Members Lounge Says:
I like your search list better than mine. I wrote a blog entry about my
colonscopy and constantly get hits on the term “laxatives”. Must fine tune the keywords in 2011! Happy New year Aunat Becky!
On January 2nd, 2011 at 9:35 pm Noa Gavin Says:
I like to imagine that they’re not individual key words that lead people to me, but dead on phrases that I have used that connect us in a terrible terrible way. And then I get, “Granny fucking a tree branch,” and I sick myself out.
On January 2nd, 2011 at 10:16 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I laugh because it’s so, so true. I can’t see anything past the first ten or so and really, that’s enough. I don’t need to see it.

But MAN, there have been times that I’ve laughed, but mostly, I’ve gotten barfy. BLECH.