Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like NaBloWhatever Is Over!


Today is November the 30th, which marks the end of an era. An era about Poop-Buckets, sleep deprivation, and apparently, how bizare I really am. You watched as I overused the comma frequently (and used parenthesis where I should have started a new sentence), Put Things In Capitol Letters That Should Not Have Been, and generally misspelleed eevenn tha siimplest oof wurds (I SOOO need a spell check for my site).

But you read (at least I’m pretty sure that you did. Without SiteMeter, I can’t be sure. Doesn’t matter anyway, does it?) and you commented, and I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my cold, blackened heart. It shrivelled a little less each time someone gave Aunt Becky a Warm Fuzzy, and was amazed each and every time Aunt Becky did not recieve a Cold Prickly. Aunt Becky knows a lot about Cold Prickly’s, laws yes, she does.

Happy (almost) December, Dear Internet, and may the month be filled of MORE posts about such titilating topics as: My Colonoscopy And What It Means To Me, Why Is The Baby Is Trying To Kill Me, (alternating between) I LOVE The Holidays and/or I HATE The Holidays, in addition to stirring subjects like Why Can’t My Family Change The Toliet Paper Roll?

No, but for serious, if you have some topic you’d like me to talk about, I’d be more than happy to oblige. Always feel free to comment, even if it is to tell me that you hate me with a passion, or that I am a complete idiot (trust me, I’m completely aware).

If you’re too shy to comment, you can always drop me a line at I love email, nearly as much as I love Christmas cards. And I loves me my Christmas cards. Anyone want to exchange them? I’ll autograph pictures of myself so you can put them on your fridge and when people ask who the hell that chick is making a corny face, you can say proudly “That is my Aunt Becky.” And then everyone will know that you MUST be awesome to have such a great aunt. (I know, I know, I’m delusional. *sigh* I better go refill my meds.)

For reals, if you want to exchange cards, email me and let me know. I stole that idea from Niobe, who I totally have a girl-crush on. Because she’s awesome.

Alex would like me to tell you that he says, and I quote, “What is UP my bitches?” I have NO IDEA where he learned such motherfucking swear words.

Ben (at age 2) would like me to tell you that he is completely ashamed of having me as his mother. He would prefer someone ELSE, like Io, or maybe Jupiter to be his mother.

But he stubbornly agrees that he’s cheeks are edible.

Ben would like me to inform you that he is NOT wearing a toupee, despite how it may appear, and Alex tells me that he’s much, much fatter now.

And as for me, Dear Internet, I will raise a glass with you tonight. Here’s to December! I just KNOW that it’s going to be a great month.

(clinks glass)

posted under The Sausage Factory
9 Comments to

“It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like NaBloWhatever Is Over!”

  1. On November 30th, 2007 at 5:36 pm Juli Says:

    Shit. You mean you’re not always this prolific?

    GREAT. Get me interested and then just abandon me.

  2. On November 30th, 2007 at 5:46 pm becky Says:

    Hahaha, I usually post daily during the week, but not on the weekends.

    No worries, I can talk FOREVER.

  3. On November 30th, 2007 at 7:18 pm Ashley Says:

    Oh my god….my future husband is the gerber baby!!! I want to reach through the screen and squeeze him. I LOVE that picture.

  4. On November 30th, 2007 at 8:16 pm Kim Says:

    you gots a beautiful family, Aunt Becky. thanks for welcoming me to the family.

    you are making me “almost” want to start a blog of my own.


  5. On November 30th, 2007 at 9:17 pm becky Says:

    Ashley, of course he’s the Gerber baby! He told me today that he can’t wait to become legal and marry you!

    Kim, of COURSE you’re welcome in my family! You should start a blog! Yaaaaayyyyy for blogs!

  6. On November 30th, 2007 at 10:28 pm gs Says:


    aww, your kiddies are cute.

  7. On December 3rd, 2007 at 2:08 pm niobe Says:

    Oooooh …being someone’s blog crush makes my own black little heart melt just a teeny bit.

  8. On December 4th, 2007 at 7:28 pm Denise Says:

    You have a beautiful family.
    I was going to comment how I found your blog, but I can’t even remember now after spending some time here. (I’d have to hit my back button a bit to find it. 😉 )

  9. On December 4th, 2007 at 7:54 pm becky Says:

    Thanks, Denise. I’m glad that you found me, no matter how you got here.

    Now I need to come find YOU!

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