Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

I Thought This Was Between US.


iTunes has betrayed me:

John C. Mayer Totally Hates Me.

Imagine my horror when I pulled up iTunes to download Tom Jones songs for Vegas this weekend (you ARE coming, yes?)(the answer is, of course, obviously) and iTunes told the WHOLE WORLD, or at least, my living room, that I owned some John C. Mayer songs.

I mean, how can I OWN HIS MUSIC after the shit I’ve talked about him? After our “Pulling A John C. Mayer” prank, I’m still number two and three for searches for John C. Mayer:

It goes to show that you really cannot trust everything you read on the internet. Hell, I might be a tiny, tiny man living in my parents basement playing Dungeons and Dragons all day and NOT ACTUALLY Your Aunt Becky. You just never know.

Unless you’re iTunes. Or Jimmy Motherfucking Wales. Then you pretty much know everything.

posted under john c. mayer
40 Comments to

“I Thought This Was Between US.”

  1. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:00 am Susie @newdaynewlesson Says:

    LOL. That made me chuckle. Thanks.

  2. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:15 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You’re welcome! Monday = day for laughing.

  3. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:04 am Becky Mochaface Says:

    I’d put Google in that category too. They are taking over the world. One search at a time.

  4. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:15 am Your Aunt Becky Says:


  5. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:18 am Becky Mochaface Says:

    I didn’t even think of Facebook! Which is totally their evil plan. I haven’t seen The Social Network yet but I’m pretty sure that is what that movie is all about… their evil plans to marry Google and make world dominating baby companies/websites.

  6. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:13 am Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points Says:


    I totally knew that you were a pasty little man wearing a Three Wolf t-shirt that was two sizes too small and rolling the twenty-sided dice.

    There are no secrets on the internet.

  7. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:14 am Your Aunt Becky Says:


  8. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:19 am Rebecca Says:

    You were high in the rankings for Adam M. Lambert for a long while after I pulled a John C. Mayer on Adam Mitchel Lambert. I still love Adam Lambert and I’m still waiting on my iPod full of every song he’s sang…of course it’s an iPod of the video variety because I love looking at Adam M. Lambert. Also, you rock. I love you Aunt Becky

  9. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:21 am stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    I always assumed you were a jobless World of Warcraft gamer killing time waiting for your gamer buds to get home from work.

  10. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:31 am natalie Says:

    god damn you, itunes…god damn you.

  11. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:37 am Tershbango Says:

    Does this mean that iTunes knows I like Def Leppard and Guns N Roses? SHIT! My cool cover is TOTALLY blown. Er…it may have been blown long before I got an iPod.

  12. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:38 am Erin@MommyontheSpot Says:

    Yikes! Who knew iTunes was such a blabbermouth?

    Have fun in Vegas!!

  13. On December 6th, 2010 at 11:47 am Beth Says:

    It’s okay. We all own some John Mayer. It’s like a disease.

  14. On December 6th, 2010 at 12:06 pm Holly B Says:

    Its okay to admit it. For as much as we may think he is a douchebag… we cant help but wonder if his song Wonderland is based on fact. Okay..maybe that is just me, but Im not ashamed to say I’d hit it…. something tells me JCM is a real “giver” …

  15. On December 6th, 2010 at 12:06 pm Didactic Pirate Says:

    AHA! J’accuse!!!! Traitor!!!

    You’re forgiven. Everyone has their little secret shames. iTunes recently revealed to my family that I downloaded three songs from Glee. It wasn’t my fault. I was clearly drunk.

  16. On December 6th, 2010 at 12:14 pm Kristin Says:

    Oh my BFF Aunt Becky how I have missed you. This made me laugh. I have been in such a dark dark scary place lately I haven’t even been able to concentrate enough to read your blog can you imagine? But I have missed you so much. And I hope to do better with my readings cause you always make me feel like I have a friend.

  17. On December 6th, 2010 at 12:17 pm Chanel Says:

    That is too funny. I can’t believe that they let out your dirty little secret.

  18. On December 6th, 2010 at 12:20 pm JenniferB Says:

    Would it be bad if I said I hate iTunes?? I do not now, and have never owned a damn iPod. Why would I spend all that money for something that plays music? I mean, my $50 mp3 player does a pretty good job of hooking up to the ol’ computer with a USB or with the memory card, and plays the music WITHOUT selling my soul to Apple. Right? Is there something I’ve been missing for the last decade? ‘Cause I don’t really get it. iTunes won’t let me DO anything with MY music that I’ve bought, and I just can’t tolerate that. Hmph.

  19. On December 6th, 2010 at 12:32 pm Chocolate Diapers Says:

    Move over Ralph Nader, Aunt Becky is a true consumer advocate!

  20. On December 6th, 2010 at 12:46 pm Erika Says:

    I can’t stand him, but before he became an ass I liked his music, so I hear you.

    Congrats on still being the number 2 and 3 listings, that is so cool.

  21. On December 6th, 2010 at 1:07 pm James Says:

    i guess that’s what ya get for trying to hide the fact ya listen to john mayer next time you’ll know that itunes outs your music choices

  22. On December 6th, 2010 at 1:17 pm LAB Says:

    “Your Body Is a Wonderland” is a horrible song. But you know what’s worse? “Daughters”. It goes a little something like this: “Hey, dads? Can you be super nice to your little girls please? Because they grow up to be chicks I wanna fuck, and it’s a total pain in the ass for me to have to deal with babes whose jackass dads screwed them up about sex and men. I’m trying to get laid over here, dude.” Hate this song.

    Do agree that JCM is funny. I think before I heard any of his music I saw him on that VH1 “I Love the 80s” thing.

  23. On December 6th, 2010 at 1:31 pm TheTameOne Says:

    Not to be all braggy and snobbish and shit but I don’t one one John C. Mayer song. Woooooo hooooooo

  24. On December 6th, 2010 at 1:39 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh now, that’s a LOW BLOW.

  25. On December 6th, 2010 at 1:35 pm a Says:

    I hate iTunes too. It totally eats up all the memory on my computers with its stupid upgrades and annoying downloads. But my husband has an iPod. At least he got it for free, and I can say I have never given Apple any money. Because iTunes annoys me. (But I would really like an iPad – they look pretty cool)

  26. On December 6th, 2010 at 2:19 pm ColinP Says:

    You also forgot, or if we saw the video of you and the Princess of Bells…

  27. On December 6th, 2010 at 2:26 pm KC (aka The Resident Bitch) Says:

    HOLY. HELL. You have music from Avenue Q. You are officially my hero. That is one of my FAVORITE musicals … because, well, duh. Anything with puppets, sex, and profanity is all right in my book.

    Seriously though? I have a couple of his songs too … and I can’t stand him.

  28. On December 6th, 2010 at 3:09 pm Kelly Says:

    How else would you possibly have time to do all the things you do, if you weren’t a geeky 20 sided dice gamer? You and Dave probably host Game Night on Friday’s and stuff like that.

  29. On December 6th, 2010 at 3:24 pm Mary Says:

    So you had a moment of weakness. I went through my songs and found FOUR John C. Mayer songs (not the Wonderland one, though). It’s been so long since I listened to them, that I forgot I had them. (Well, to use the excuse “My dog ate my homework” wouldn’t really help much, would it?)

    If JCM would write a song about Aunt Becky…, after all, like it or not, you are a part of his life, now. You might even make some money, if your name is trademarked.

  30. On December 6th, 2010 at 3:33 pm Karen Says:

    But we all know that your Body is a Wonderland…

  31. On December 6th, 2010 at 4:24 pm Kristin Says:

    Damn, I sure hope you aren’t a little weird man in his parents’ basement or that dress is going to look seriously weird on you.

  32. On December 6th, 2010 at 6:39 pm Kate Says:

    Well, hell. If you’re Uncle Becky, I’m going to have to seriously reconsider my reading habits. (Not really. My father’s first name was Lynn. So, glass houses and all.)

  33. On December 6th, 2010 at 6:53 pm McGilli Says:

    I don’t care for the guy and definitely positively don’t and never have had any of his songs… legally purchased or otherwise… meaning gifts from peeps don’t get all excited Lars Ulrich.

  34. On December 6th, 2010 at 6:54 pm Donda Says:

    You had to have known this day would come! 😉

  35. On December 6th, 2010 at 6:57 pm Amy Says:

    LOLs Becky 🙂

  36. On December 6th, 2010 at 9:59 pm SharleneT Says:

    You’re going to double-hate me! I don’t have any of his recordings BUT the piano player, Mark Hartman, on Avenue Q has been a very dear and close friend of mine since ’93. [Don’t hit me!]

    Okay. I can see where iTunes keep track of your purchases, but are you saying that, if I pulled up a JCM recording, it would show that you also purchased it? That’s an outrageous invasion of privacy, in my book.Please explain. Thank you.

  37. On December 7th, 2010 at 6:22 am Jolie Says:

    You obviously were hacked! Yeah, that’s it…no worries. We understand.
    and have fun in vegas!!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!

  38. On December 7th, 2010 at 2:21 pm Nancy [Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas] Says:

    They’re out to get you. Who “they” are and what “they” want are still unknown. But it is clear they want you afeared.

    In other news….can’t wait to see you this weekend! I’ll be at the reception on Sat. night.

  39. On December 7th, 2010 at 8:16 pm Momma Chaos Says:

    I just googled it.. You are actually now # 2, #3 AND #4 on John C Mayer 🙂 Awesomeness! Plus the Urban Dictionary reference includes a sentence about you.. lol. At this point, I think it’d have to be almost odd if you didn’t own at least one song.. Research, it was all research 🙂

  40. On December 7th, 2010 at 8:32 pm AmyBlam Says:

    I’ve been to Vegas eleventh million times so let me know if you need any suggestions. For sure, go have drinks at the Parasol Down bar at Wynn and see the lake of dreams thing and check out the conservatory at the bellagio. Gamble on and check out freemont street!

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