Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

I (don’t) Put The Labor in Labor Day.


I figure that while most of the world will be off barbecuing delicious encased meats and getting sloppy on cheap beer, my spam bots will be bored and lonesome. So for you, my spam bot friends, I provide this gratuitous Mimi shot.


She always looks horrified by life when I get the camera out. Maybe I smell bad.

GOOOAL Potty Chair

Then there’s this that Alex picked out in our not-so-subtle-you-need-to-think-about-getting-out-of-diapers way.

So far, all we’ve managed to do is to scare the hell out of him.

(any good potty training wisdom out there?)

Because Obviously

All that I DO know is that I really think that I need to install something that cheers for me after I take a crap. That would be AWESOME.

Peace Out

Mimi says (and I quote), “Peace out, my bitches.”

I don’t know where the fuck she learned to swear like that.

posted under I'm Big In Japan
65 Comments to

“I (don’t) Put The Labor in Labor Day.”

  1. On September 7th, 2009 at 1:37 am kalakly Says:

    You know, I wish I knew where the hell my kids picked up their fucking trash mouths….it beats the crap out of me.

    Potty training, just wait and let him figure it out. If he doesn’t, one day with a bunch of bad ass kinder kids and their lack of sympathy over his diaper, will straighten him right out:)

    Mimi is ADORABLE! I love the hat.

  2. On September 7th, 2009 at 3:51 am eden Says:

    Peace out, Mimi. You are fucking adorable. Nom nom.

    Ummmm ….. I am in love with your new blog design. Fucking awesome. Like you.

  3. On September 7th, 2009 at 3:22 am DG at Diaryofamadbathroom Says:

    Thanks for the Labor Day cuteness. Have a good one!

  4. On September 7th, 2009 at 6:12 am Ms. Moon Says:

    Yep. I keep forgetting to mention your blog design and how much I love it. Not as much as I love your baby girl, though.
    As to potty training- it will come. Have you tried the M&M reward thing yet?

  5. On September 7th, 2009 at 6:32 am WiseGuy Says:

    I have an idea…it is her freckin’ Momma who has taught her the lovely words!

    Ever thought of spraying the potty seat with glitter?

  6. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:05 am Jill Says:

    Don’t look at me for potty training advice. Your Mimi will probably be potty trained before my 4yo stops having accidents at this point.

  7. On September 7th, 2009 at 6:32 am Jennifer Says:

    *insert mechanical spam-bot voice* You’re freaking awesome. That is all.

  8. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:33 am Lucy Says:

    What Mimi is really saying: ‘Mom! I hate these 80’s style bridal veil style headbands. And, I’m going to pull it off and chew it soon if you don’t stop playing dress-up with me!”

  9. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:34 am RJ Flamingo Says:

    She is *so* adorable! I can’t imagine where she’s learning those words – cable TV? I have a friend who took 3 days off work to stay home & potty train her kid. It had something to do with not wearing a diaper or any kind of pants on her bottom till she figured it out (the kid, not the mom – that would have been *really* traumatic!). But I ‘m not a mom, so what do I know?

    Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I posted my “Aunt Becky’s Card” “photo essay” on my blog, you know, in case you don’t read one of your zillion e-mail accounts, or just click delete when you see my name or something. Ciao!

  10. On September 7th, 2009 at 6:54 am a Says:

    Potty training wisdom? We’ve tried bribery and peer pressure and telling she she’s in charge, and nothing works. Potty chairs and potty seats and pull-ups and big girl underwear…sigh. Maybe when she goes back to daycare, they can do it for me.

    Amelia is most adorable! Happy Labor Day!

  11. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:34 am Inna Says:

    Labor Day cuteness for sure!
    I hope my kids don’t have fucking shitty trash mouths. I mean, they wouldn’t be hearing any fucking swearing from me, that’s for fucking sure.

  12. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:43 am Kelly Says:

    Mimi is sooo pretty!

    Throw out the diapers, and forget about pull ups, they are nothing more then a diaper. Go get some plastic covered training pants, and let him have at it….it doesn’t take too long for them to figure out that sitting in pee is gross. The m&m’s work, but so do stickers, or any other thing Alex likes…

  13. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:47 am Mommy on the Spot Says:

    As my 3 year old starts preschool this week, I am hoping that when something goes wrong she doesn’t blurt out, “Damn it!” or “Son of a bitch!”

    As for potty traning advice, I can only offer what worked for us. She loved her disney princess action figures so I got big underpants that matched. She also wanted to be like her older friend who was potty trained. When she was ready, I put on the underpants with no traning pants. Yes, there were accidents and we were on lock down for a week with a spray bottle of vinegar and some baking soda for clean up. After that, it was pretty much smooth sailing. I wish you luck!

  14. On September 7th, 2009 at 8:50 am Susan Says:

    Amelia is fucking darling. My shitbeast children cuss like damn sailors and take turns saying “Ballsack” at random moments. Pissers. The kid has to be the one to decide he’s ready. I did have fun with the boys, though, when they were learning. I put fruit loops in the toilet for them to aim at. Now they just aim at the toilet seat itself. Fuckers.

  15. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:57 am Jenn Says:

    Amelia is super adorable.
    Boo doesn’t swear (yet, haha) but she does say “freaking” a lot. Which horrifies my in-laws (everything horrifies my in-laws) but amuses me.
    Potty training… fun fun. My kids were so different that way. Monkey just didn’t want to use a toilet. He was more than capable but he refused until I got fed up. Then I just told him that the store didn’t make diapers in a big enough size for him so he had to learn. Took him about 2 hours after that. With Boo, SHE decided she wanted to be potty trained, pretty much. She just looooved the pretty underwear and knew that was the only way she could have some, haha. Not sure if that tactic would work on Alex though! 😉

  16. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:59 am birdpress Says:

    Hey, you were in labor three times, so this is your day, right? (What do you mean, it’s not THAT kind of labor?)

    Amelia has the prettiest big baby-doll eyes! If you take requests, I want to see a picture of her laughing.

  17. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:10 am IB Says:

    Kids swearing cracks me up. By the age of 6 our lad could swear like a drunken sailor. His grandparents were not impressed. Fuck ’em, I say.

  18. On September 7th, 2009 at 8:18 am Jennifer B Says:

    Yep, the potty training thing is entirely in their little hands, uh so to speak. You can try bribery, the big kid underwear, etc. But until they feel like sitting on the damn potty and doing their thing, they aren’t going to do it. The more you push, the more they tend to dig in their heels. I don’t think the fancy potty matters either. (I went with easy to clean- and I’m oh so thankful.) Ignore it and act like it’s no big deal, then one day, poof, he’ll sit his happy butt down and do the deed. What worked for me was having the potty in front of the tv and putting on his favorite show (obnoxious Roary the race car) which is perfect because it’s 10 min long. Although we did spend a lot of cash on dumb bribery toys, until we figured out he was milking it. Of course, now the only problem is that any time he needs to do #2, we get to experience full force as he watches tv and goes. Not good for house guests… unless you want to get rid of them… hey, I just had some good advice for the poster from yesterday! If you’re reading, my friend, go for the potty training excuse!!

  19. On September 7th, 2009 at 8:45 am Becca Says:

    Mimi is tres cute with that hat!! Nom Nom Nom!!!! Potty training is best figured out by the mom, sorry no fast answers for that one.

    My eldest was almost three, my middle was 1 1/2 and my youngest was almost 4. Who the hell knows what I was doing!!!

    Have a fun labor day.

  20. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:52 am swirl girl Says:

    The whole ‘cheering toilet’ thing is kind of freaky – but if it works ? Go for it!

    And can Amelia get any cuter??

  21. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:05 am darkfairymomma Says:

    She is so adorable! We’ve been working on potty training in our house too and doing the whole naked thing seems to be working out best for Godzilla. The Princess, on the other hand, has chosen one of the chairs in the living room as her personal potty chair so she’s back in diapers for now.

  22. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:11 am kyslp Says:

    Dang, that baby is cute!

    No advice on the potty training but you do have my sympathy. My 2 were horrible to train.

  23. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:33 am Mwa Says:

    Best advice on potty training: wait until you’re sure they “get” what they’re meant to be doing. Then put them on after every sleep, after every meal, and in between roughly every hour.

    This from the woman whose daughter “gets” it, has done quite a lot on the potty already, and was too lazy to put her on the potty after getting out of the car, so she has to go and change her just now.

    It’s just too tiring sometimes, right?

  24. On September 7th, 2009 at 10:34 am Sarah Says:

    No wisdom of any kind to share, least of all potty-training related. I would like to thank you for not calling it “potty learning”. Oh. PLEASE. Because telling them they’re learning rather than being trained TOTALLY changes their perspective on the utterly ridiculous idea of stopping life to go blow things out your ass.

    The cheering though – THAT might make me want to take more time out for such things.

    Mimi is the … answer to whatever question you may be posing. Or something. SO FREAKING CUTE. Proud to be called one of Mimi’s Bitches!

  25. On September 7th, 2009 at 10:30 am toywithme Says:

    You could give Alex the “That Was Easy” button from Staples. Everytime he goes – he gets to press a button that tells him “That Was Easy”.

  26. On September 7th, 2009 at 10:42 am Barbara Says:

    Oh man….the comments crack me up! Too funny. I can not remember the whole potty training of my kids. Must have been very tramatic so I have blocked it out. I know there were no rewards, nothing to aim at. Just a good old white toddler potty that had to be cleaned out after it was used. And a lot of “Do you have to go pee-pee?” every 10 minutes. My son still to this day wants to show me that he “made a poopie”. He’s 23…..**shudders**……He will sometimes call me on the phone and say “Oh man…I just took a great duke. Want me take a cell phone pic and send it to you?” Ah….that would be a NO!

  27. On September 7th, 2009 at 10:51 am Lori in Denver Says:

    No fair. I don’t get no stinkin stadium cheers.

  28. On September 7th, 2009 at 11:14 am Lea Says:

    Mimi is SO cute. Seriously. ‘Horrified by life’ is an expression I have often when cameras are around. Of course it’s usually the mother-in-law who has the camera, so that could be part of the reason.

    No advice regarding potty training, as I, y’know, don’t have kids. But I know that I would personally love stadium cheers after Number Two (good ol’ IBS makes pooping quite a chore sometimes).

    Happy Labor (or as we spell it in Canada – Labour) Day!

  29. On September 7th, 2009 at 11:36 am Katy Says:

    don’t have any potty training advice, cause i don’t have any chillens. the only potty training experience i have is trying to clean out my cat’s litter box so he doesn’t poop in the tub or in our laundry. that totally turned into a “i don’t have kids yet, so i have a cat” thing…
    HOWEVER, i have to say that i consider that satisfying ‘plop’ my own cheering section when i take a crap. tmi? never.
    also, amelia definitely looks like she’s saying “bitch you BEST get that camera out of my fuckin face. i can make life REAL difficult for you.”
    i also have a feeling that *just* because we are imagining her being a mini-becky, the universe will have her act like a lady. you know, just to mess with everyone. like cross-your-legs-at-the-ankle lady. like she will be wearing frilly things and shit and having tea parties that don’t have imaginary liquor or beer, her barbies aren’t dressed like skanks and there won’t be doll orgies after. or was that just me, then?

  30. On September 7th, 2009 at 1:21 pm Rebecca Says:

    Your little girl is completely adorable. If you are ever in my neighborhood, please stop by for a play date.

    How old is Alex? When my daughter turned 3 (she was NOT interested in potty training at all). I just took all her diapers away. Showed her where the potty was and told her to use the potty from now on. She had a few accidents and I made her sop up the urine with a towel (she HATED doing this). She eventually gave in and sat on the potty. I told her that if she made her pee and poo in the potty she would get Pepsi every time. She had NEVER tasted soda but really wanted Pepsi. I took one of those medicine cups that comes with liquid children’s Tylenol and filled it about half full and she’d sit there and drink that like she was getting something really special and was quite pleased with a teaspoon of Pepsi. Good luck with potty training.

  31. On September 7th, 2009 at 5:34 pm SArah Lindahl Says:

    OMG she’s CUTE! I’d too would like some cheering for my craps. I ask my hub to come and look and be impressed, but he just won’t. I’ve been thinking about making a “My Impressive Poops” blog. Too much?

  32. On September 7th, 2009 at 4:43 pm Belle Says:

    That toilet seat is so flippin weird but hilarious. I would be willing to bet that I know where she gets the cussing…

  33. On September 7th, 2009 at 5:56 pm Sunny Says:

    Stadium cheers when the kid takes a crap… why didn’t *I* think of that!!!

    Coincidentally, DH is out buying a potty for DS right now. When I showed him online what kind to get, he was horrified that we actually have to CLEAN it. He wanted to get one of those toilet seat cover ones that have a smaller opening so the kid doesn’t fall in. Dude, our son is 18 months old. Those are aimed at older kids — our son’s sweet little tush would still fall through. My husband is SO lazy when it comes to cleaning our son’s crap. Can’t imagine why.

  34. On September 7th, 2009 at 6:32 pm Krissa Says:

    Well, she is a little doll! Too bad about the potty mouth, maybe you can break her of it. 😉

  35. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:45 pm Lucy Cooper Says:

    Mimi- what an angel face. I love serious baby faces. My boys always look like they’re mid- thought. Or mid-poo.

  36. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:14 pm Mama Cas Says:

    I bet for the price of a lollipop, you could train the children to cheer for you when you go poo. Sounds like loads of fun, no?

    LOADS. Get it?! I made a funny!

    Anywho….with my 2 older boys, I told them that the Hulk came and took their diapers away. I then put them in underwear and showed them where the toilet was. For the first day, there was poo and pee ALL OVER MY HOUSE…but they got the idea that poo and pee all over themselves wasn’t so much fun. On the second day, their success rate was about 50%. After that, it was pretty smooth sailing. Please don’t throw tomatoes. This was the one area of motherhood that went really really well for me.

  37. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:24 pm Aunt Juicebox Says:

    I learned all the really good swear words from my grandma. I love those little potties that have a little magazine rack built in the side, and a roll for tp.

  38. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:36 pm Lucy's mom Says:

    I actually thought we were going to have to start buying attends for my 3 year old son, he resisted every attempt at potty training (including the m&ms, his favorite treat). One day we were in the backyard and he started grabbing his crotch, I knew where this was heading. So I said you know, you can pee out here if you want, just pull down your pants and go for it. He did, he loved it and for the next few weeks he would run out the back door every time he needed to go. We worked in the toilet as a back-up and voila! We scored toliet training (finally *sigh*).

    My daughter toilet trained at daycare with the big girls because she didn’t want to be left out – she was 16 months. I believe it was divine intervention for the hell my son put us through.

    Your daughter is beautiful by the way, what extraordinary eyes.

  39. On September 7th, 2009 at 7:59 pm mumma boo Says:

    She is so deliciously gorgeous.

    We’re still in the throes of potty-training Cenzo. He hated his potty seat and went right for the regular toilet. So we let him. We let him run around naked, we bribe him with M&M’s, and don’t forget, he’s the kid who put the donut on his penis. Yeah, we’re potty-training rock stars. Don’t listen to a fucking word I just said. Except the part about Amelia. Nom, nom, nom!

  40. On September 7th, 2009 at 8:02 pm Heather P. Says:

    Mimi is a doll!

  41. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:03 pm Potty Mouth Mommy Says:

    I’d be terrified of that toilet too- it looks like a soccer ball and cheers when I poo???!!! yikes!!!

    My daughter- HATED the potty… I bought her a stool and a thingy to make the ring on the big toilet smaller and had her go after watching me- and that worked… also letting her run buck wild- she only peed on my couch once!! 😀

    I’ve heard people say good things about getting their little boys to aim at cheerios, then I’ve also heard the horror stories of parents whose little boys still wanted to EAT the cheerios after… urp!

    *gags* Good point. BLECH.

  42. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:14 pm Kate Says:

    Mimi is beautiful ~ her eyes are absolutely gorgeous!

    As for potty-training, my theory is to wait until the kid wants to wear underwear and then it’s not a fight, nor do you have to do a damn thing aside from remind them to go pee before you leave the house or they go to bed. Yes, I’m serious. 6 kids PT’ed so far and I’ve never had to deal with the hellacious stories I read about online from moms who worked to try and get a child who wasn’t ready or interested in using the toilet to change their mind and start using it. I’m lazy; my method works for me. My youngest to decide he wanted to start wearing underwear (yeah, a boy ~ so much for the “boys are harder to train than girls theory” in my house) was 28 months. My oldest to be totally in underwear was almost 4 years old (my autistic son ~ he became completely continent 11 days after having his tethered cord released). The others were 2.5 years, 2.75 years, 3 years and 2.5 years. The youngest won’t be potty trained since he’s got spina bifida and has nerve damage to both his bowel and bladder.

    Okay… not that you asked, but here’s what I do:

    1. Take child to the store and let them pick out some cool underpants. Tell them they will be able to wear the very cool underpants when they decide they want to use the toilet.

    2. Get home and put underpants on dresser in child’s room. Out of their reach, but within their view.

    3. Periodically comment on the cool underpants, reminding child that when they want to wear the underwear, they should just let you know.

    4. When the day comes that the kid tells you he wants to wear the underwear, put them on him. Remind him that he can’t pee or poop in the underwear and tell him that if he has to go, he needs to use the toilet.

    5. When the first accident happens (and it will), remind kid to use the toilet and clean up the mess. Don’t make a big deal of it.

    That’s about it.

    I’ve only had one kid who tried to tell me she had changed her mind and didn’t want to wear underpants anymore. I told her, “I’m sorry; once you made your choice, it was made. You’re a big girl and need to wear panties now and use the toilet. I know you can do it!” So she did.

    I’m lazy. I don’t want to have to remember to take a kid to the toilet every 30 minutes or hour or whatever just to hopefully prevent an accident. To me, that means the parent is trained, not the kid. Also, this is one thing that you cannot control. If a kid is prone to power struggles, this WILL be one he engages in and he WILL win. You can’t force a kid to go to the bathroom unless you’re cathing him and using enemas (oh wait, that’s the process for a kid with spina bifida). So don’t engage in the fight. It’s not worth it. Kids are smart and they know you can’t MAKE them use a toilet. It has to be their choice to do so. Try to make the decision to use a toilet enticing and then wait for the kid to take the bait. It WILL happen in time and I personally don’t see any reason to stress over it.

    Good luck!

    Well said. This is what worked for Ben and this is what we’ll do with Alex. He’s obviously not ready. No questions there.

  43. On September 7th, 2009 at 8:25 pm Whitni Hitchcock Says:

    HAHAHA! My boyfriend and I were sitting here reading this together (because he is massaging my back, oh yeaaa) and he wants one of these for himself. “‘Cause it would be so cooool!” Direct quote. Ha. I think you two need to meet.

  44. On September 7th, 2009 at 8:54 pm Pete in Az Says:

    Let me get this straight…

    They make a toilet that looks like a soccer ball and cheers when you take a dump?

    (tries to hold a straight face)


  45. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:26 pm Rachel Montoya Says:

    We are potty training to…

    this video is genuinely helping…

    I love getting applause for shitting too!

    It’s the only reason TO do it!

  46. On September 7th, 2009 at 9:47 pm Tracey Anne Says:

    Aunt Beacky, I can’t find Mommyonbored the website anymore, did she talk it down due to the idioots form the news article??

    Oh, Baby on Bored? She’s still up, I think!

  47. On September 7th, 2009 at 11:55 pm Kelly Says:

    ok…gotta know…does the thing cheer when you pee? cause I’m getting it for my husband!

    I think it cheers whenever you want it too. Rock ON.

  48. On September 8th, 2009 at 5:37 am tiffany Says:

    Happy Birthday to The Daver! The 8th is also my birthday…

    The coolest people were born today!

  49. On September 8th, 2009 at 4:39 am Kristin Says:

    Absolutely no potty training advice whatsoever. Gabe has flat out refused ever since he had his “stuck in the potty” nightmare.

    And, Peace out Mimi.

    Absolutely what I am afraid of.

  50. On September 8th, 2009 at 7:27 am Jen Says:

    She’s so cute.

    Aw, THANKS.

  51. On September 8th, 2009 at 8:29 am Badass Geek Says:

    Personally? I think cheering post-BM would be really enlightening.

    I think so too! We should investigate this further.

  52. On September 8th, 2009 at 7:36 am Mel Says:

    HA! Actually, my 2 year old has become my own personal “cheering section” when I’m in the bathroom. “Yay Mommy” with clapping even for whatever I do. Kind of makes a woman self conscience, haha.

    Bwahahaha! I bet!

  53. On September 8th, 2009 at 8:42 am SciFi Dad Says:

    If you take a two-flusher does it do the wave?

    Or The Hustle.

  54. On September 8th, 2009 at 8:18 am Allie Bear Says:

    Awwww, so cute!!!! As for potty training advice, I finally managed to block that portion of my children’s lives from my memory. All I can say is that is was hell and I hated it. Sorry, no words of encouragement here.

    I operate under no illusions about it. It will suck. Hard. Kind of like trying to get Alex into the bathtub, which is a full-contact sport now.

  55. On September 8th, 2009 at 9:17 am Tricia Says:

    For what it’s worth, my sainted sis-in-law, mother of 8 (yes, 8) told me that the only trick is knowing when they are ready… if you push them before they are ready it is sheer hell, but if you wait they will basically train themselves. I still have no idea what the fuck that meant. My son was motivated by oohs and aahs for the poopies (done the old-fashioned way, no cheering toilet seats 10 years ago) and had to run around the house bare-assed every day for 2 weeks but then it was done. He had no accidents in those 2 weeks unless I put underwear, training pants, whatever on him. Had to be nekkid from the waist down. Oh – and at the time, Brazelton said to teach boys sitting down, not standing, otherwise you’d regret it. So I did it that way and it was awhile before he even knew that boys could go standing up…which was fine by me.

    Your daughter is absolutely delicious! Completely adorable.

    Yeah, I think you’re right. I’m not going to push the poor guy. Even if I AM jealous of the cheering from the potty. I guess I could make my own cheering section. I’m sure Alex would be happy to oblige.

  56. On September 8th, 2009 at 10:51 am Melissa Says:

    My son WOULD NOT potty train for like months. So, my mom buys some of those ugly ass Gerber thick underwear and in one day (I kid you not!) it was over. I think it was so he could quit wearing those ugly ass underwear, but hey, whatever works!

  57. On September 8th, 2009 at 10:53 am Kendra Says:

    I find the cheering toilet hilarious and scary. I don’t know how my kids would react to it. Can you remove the batteries?

    Both my kids have potty trained at about 3 1/2. With my oldest, I was worried that either or he or I must be broken, since this wasn’t working out. But now I know this is just how it’s gone with us. We’ll see if it’s different when the girl is old enough to try. At the moment, thanks to recent boy PT’ing, she is constantly walking up to the toilet, lifting her shirt, and leaning into the toilet saying “Potty!” She’s going to be mighty confused when the time comes!

    I completely agree with waiting until they’re ready. With my oldest, we finally went “bare butt” for a few weeks while he figured it out (like you, I stay home, so it was more practical than if I’d had to send him to day care with no pants on!). With my middle one, we were camping a few weeks ago and every time I went to the bathroom, we all had to traipse down to the bathroom together. So he decided he had to go every time I did. When we got back, I just put on the underpants. And after a day or two of the occassional accident, he’s even sleeping in underpants now! So much better than weeks or months of setting the timer for trips to the bathroom, which I’ve also done. I have used (and have, if you want them) charts to keep track of potty times and accidents. They were helpful the first time, less so the second. Feel free to email me if you’d like a copy. But my advice would probably come down to: disregard all the people asking why he’s not potty trained yet, know that he’ll do it eventually, and wait until he’s really ready, because it will be way easier.

    Good luck!

  58. On September 8th, 2009 at 12:26 pm Heather Says:

    We bribed him. At daycare they give him skittles and stickers and stamps. At home I give him chocolate. (He is a boy after my own heart that one….) It totally worked too. He would say he didn’t want to and I would say but you get chocolate if you go and off we would go.

    Of course, I think they have to be ready too…. 🙂

  59. On September 8th, 2009 at 11:58 am Mrs Soup Says:

    I love Carter’s bug prints. Such a cute outfit, with the hat and everything!

    Digging the cheering potty! How awesome…there HAS to be big kid options like that somewhere….

  60. On September 8th, 2009 at 1:36 pm Amanda Says:

    Okay – I’m gonna share with you the ultimate potty training secret.
    I say that cause it’s worked with both my older girls and honey, they couldn’t be MORE different than if one were, I don’t know, asian and one were, I don’t know, caucasian (wow a RHYME and the ability for judgementals to come and visit!)

    Here you go:
    Step 1: Decide that you insane and willing to go to whatever lengths it takes to get rid of the diapers.

    Do not get discouraged – note that usually this one steps takes a couple of starts.

    Step 2: Determine what EVER it takes to get your child motivated to perform. For me – that was the promise of an M&M everytime they made potty although strangely two of mine also required a picture to be taken every time they were on the potty – with panties on their head. Do not laugh at this. It worked..keep in mind too that was before digital cameras so I have several picks of daughters 1&2 with panties on their heads sitting on their little potties.

    Do not be discouraged – please know I found this part awful too.

    Step 3: Resign yourself to a week, maybe two of going nowhere. At all.

    Do not be discouraged – it’s only a week.

    Step 4: **And this is important**. Make sure that your child has some sort of panties that they covet as much as some women covet others partners. For us it was Little Mermaid panties. Insist that they pick out and purchase the panties.

    Do not be discouraged – size here is important – they cannot be baggy.

    Step 5: Wake up and take off diaper. Put on panties.

    Step 6: Take child to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes – all day – until nap. If you have success use the M&M and motivation bonus. If you have an accident in between even though child has already gone still go back to the potty to sit while you go and get clean things to wear **and this is important!** Why? Because as they begin to associate peeing with being wet they may stop before they are finished and you might just get a success anyway.

    Step 7: repeat Step 6 over and over until nap.

    Put on diaper.

    Step 8: Go back to step 6 and repeat until bedtime when…

    Put on diaper.

    Some people don’t like the M&M part but honestly, for me, it worked great. I carried them around in a big heart shaped tin and when they went they got a candy.

    It takes a whole week though – honestly.

    Hope it helps!

  61. On September 8th, 2009 at 4:40 pm Kristine Says:

    Potty training from someone who just did it. Just switch to underwear – you will spend roughly 2 days changing his underwear before he figures out that when he pees he gets wet. And then you’re on solid ground. Of course, he has to actually want to use the potty too – we used M&Ms and lollipops for pee and poop respectively. And that’s all I’ve got. But honestly – if he’s not interested, it won’t happen is the bottom line.

    Mimi is beautiful!

  62. On September 9th, 2009 at 5:21 pm Alicia Says:

    Wish I had some sage advice on the potty-training, but I’ve only trained two. One was 3 1/2 when I FORCED it, and the other was a girl, so, yeah, I don’t think I’m doing it right. #3 will be 3 in May; maybe I’ll try then?

  63. On September 9th, 2009 at 7:11 pm MamaSkates Says:

    that cheering potty would scare the hell outta me too!
    only advise i ever got that was worth a damn was the “they’ll let u know when they’re ready” advise…it’s really true – they won’t dig the training thing until they’re damn good & ready 2 use that potty! he’ll get there…

  64. On September 9th, 2009 at 10:52 pm Nicole Says:

    GOOD LORD could she be any cuter?! I love the look – catching a smile on Briar’s face when I whip out the camera has become a game of chicken that I often lose.

    I’ve got nothing on potty training. Cooper decided (of his own free will) a week after his 3rd birthday that he was done with diapers and wanted to wear big-boy underwear. That was it – he never looked back. Maren was also all about the big-girl panties, and made the same decision – she lurves her some princess panties (and really, who doesn’t?!)

    We did rewards for a long time with Cooper, and while he was into it, it really wan’t until he made the decision for himself (which I know is of no help, because if it really worked that way, I know lots of kids who would be asking their college professors to change their Huggies.)

  65. On September 11th, 2009 at 11:03 am Katie Says:

    1) I am totally inventing one of those for adults. Men will clamor for something that applauds when they crap.

    2) Mimi is just gorgeous.

    I think that I would love anything that cheered me on. For anything, really.

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