Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Hot Child In The City


Now, my relationship with The Daver is not what one might even begin to call “romantic” in any terms. It never has been, and probably never will. We’re both ridiculously practical people, not prone to flights of fantasy OR ooey-gooey behavior. I’m fairly certain that if he were to bring home flowers (which I do love) I would become immediately suspicious that work had provided him with a free lobotomy.

I DID get Dave a flower for Valentines Day this year, well, it was technically AFTER Valentines Day and therefore cost $0.29 AND had the distinct advantage over all other flowers that it was both fake (it can last FOREVER, LIKE OUR LOVE!) AND played a tinny melody. Really, it was just a joke and took it as such.

Despite our lack of romantical abilities, we’re really are insanely fond of each other. I have no idea if this is a hallmark of a good marriage or not, but it is the way it is. Underneath (and often even during) the day to day crap, we really like each other.

The Daver has been working like mad on this work project-thingy that’s due to deploy this Saturday at 5am. And because it’s entirely likely that he’s lying to get away from the House Of Sickness And Doom that we currently live in, he “has” to “be in the office” on Saturday at 5am to TCB. (Say it with me now, Internet, “YEAH, RIGHT!)
This meant one of two things: either he gets up at the ass-crack of dawn and drives his sorry ass to the city OR he camps out in the city overnight. In a fever-induced haze, I suggested that having a City Sleep Over was probably the best option.

It’s just incredibly bad timing that this had to “coincide” with the worst bout of illness that I have had since I was a kid myself (seriously, I’m now positive that my intestines are really attempting to make a break for it now) that has now been passed onto my two darling children. I haven’t tried to test my theory, but I’m fairly certain that Alex could likely fry an egg on his stomach, so high is his fever. And Ben has actually missed school this week and laid about the house both quiet as a mouse and nearly catatonic (neither of which, I should have to inform you, are normal behavior for this child).

But despite our lack of co-dependence (likelihood is high that my blog would learn about Big News well before I bothered contacting my husband), it’s just an incredibly bizarre feeling to know that he will not be coming home tonight.

On the one hand, I am nearly giddy with glee that I can have the bed to myself (I can totally see why people have separate beds) ALL NIGHT LONG (all night looong!), but on the other, it’s a truly odd feeling to know that he won’t be home to hog the remote OR the couch.

I’m just jealous, I suppose that he gets to stay here WITHOUT ME. I kept telling him that they should put him up in a Super8 or Red Roof Inn, but NOOOO, it had to be here.


(To be fair, he did offer to have us come down and stay with him, but the last thing I want to do is to willingly travel with two large Hot Potatoes.)

So what should I do with my night sans husband? Want to come over and hang? I’ll make cookies (no, no I won’t. That’s a lie. But it sounded good, right?)!

23 Comments to

“Hot Child In The City”

  1. On March 14th, 2008 at 10:25 am b Says:

    I vote for an internet drinking party. Everyone start drinking around say…9:00 p.m. (kids are in bed by then..right?). My K is gone tonight too, I think she mentioned that she couldn’t wait to come home to a fresh, clean house. Guess that means I need to clean before the party.

  2. On March 14th, 2008 at 10:33 am KC Says:

    While eating cookies with fevered, sick children sounds amazing (no it doesn’t) – I, too, have to work Saturday AM. I will, however, be out your way Saturday evening and would love to stop by and say hello – provided you promise not to cover me in mucus.

  3. On March 14th, 2008 at 10:38 am Manny Says:

    Well, we’d come over and drink ourselves silly but my youngest has softball practice and she doesn’t like dark beer anyway. She’s such a lightweight. I hope the potatoes get better soon.

    Plus, you live like a bajillion light years away. If you lived in CA we wouldn’t have thisn problem.

  4. On March 14th, 2008 at 10:48 am Rayne of Terror Says:

    I love staying at the Palmer House. I love shopping on State Street while staying at the Palmer House.

  5. On March 14th, 2008 at 10:49 am Melissa C Says:

    he he he… well at least their pool is closed!

    But I hear you about the strangeness… we’ve been living together/married for about 17 years now… having the bed to myself is just ODD! (in a really, really good way!)

    Since I’m too far to bring a cake over… I vote for renting a movie that you never got around to watching because the Daver hated the sound of it, buy a box of cookies and mix yourself a nice tall hot toddy (for medicinal purposes of course!!)

  6. On March 14th, 2008 at 11:04 am PiquantMolly Says:

    Auuughhh! I just stayed in the Palmer House Hilton this past weekend! has fabulous deals if you ever want to enjoy a weekend there with the Daver yourself.

    GORGEOUS lobby, wonderful staff. He’s a lucky man.

    Do you live close to Chicago? I clearly have not been paying attention.

  7. On March 14th, 2008 at 11:15 am TheRamblingHousewife Says:

    I HATE it when my husband is away . . .

    It doesn’t happen often, but when it does I dread it . . .

    He helps me out so much!!

    I say throw yourself a big old pity-party!

    That’s what I usually do!!

  8. On March 14th, 2008 at 11:15 am becky Says:

    Yes, Miss M, I live outside the city (in a suburb), but The Daver works downtown.

  9. On March 14th, 2008 at 11:39 am Ames Says:

    Oh I would give anything to have my bed to myself for an entire night. My plan is to load up on vicodin and call it a night early… though a few drinks and some cookies doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea. Maybe I’ll bake and send a few your way…

  10. On March 14th, 2008 at 11:43 am Doc Says:

    I am sticking up for the Daver on this one… Us guys need a night away from the wife and kids too… :p

  11. On March 14th, 2008 at 11:53 am Kyddryn Says:

    A whole bed, all for you? Wow. The one time I suggested that we’d be better off sleeping in our own beds, T acted like I offered to shoot his dog, kick three puppies, cut off his…umm…beard, yeah, beard…and leave him for a lemming.

    I’d spend the whole night wallowing in the bed with a good book and all the covers exactly the way I like them. With, of course, an occasional break to make sure the kidlets haven’t burst into flames or anything. But that’s me.

    I’d come bake cookies, but really? I’d have to have left two days ago to get there in time, and I haven’t got the hang of time travel, yet. Oh, well. I’ll bake cookies here and think about you, how’s that??

  12. On March 14th, 2008 at 12:28 pm Michelle Says:

    Well I think I live close enough to you (not in a weird stalking way, but I live in the burbs too)but my honey is just coming home tonight after being gone since Tues morning. But if necessary, for the tip on Gymboree husky, I will bring cookies and alcohol. Heck, I can see him the rest of the weekend!
    Hope you feel better!

  13. On March 14th, 2008 at 1:05 pm becky Says:

    Oh man, one of my aunts had her wedding at that Hilton. Gorge. I’m so sorry that you’re sick… intestinal sickness is definitely the worst, I think. When I have a night alone (which is more often than not, lately!), I usually like to just veg… which sounds like it might be beneficial to you. Camp out in that big bed, watch awful-but-feel-good movies, and I’d say order yourself a big old pizza, but maybe you’ll want to try chicken soup instead 🙂

    Hope you feel better and get along without Dave. I’m sure he’ll be “suffering” just as much in that big, fancy hotel!

  14. On March 14th, 2008 at 1:56 pm kbreints Says:

    ooohhh a night alone in the bed– just don’t freak yourself out — like I do!

    I hope that you get better soon! sick babies is not a fun thing!

    ….and I would not Dan senseless if he TRIED to stay away while we were all sick!

  15. On March 14th, 2008 at 3:11 pm Heather Says:

    E leaves once a year for a weekend work retreat and while I dread tending to the kids all alone at night, I *so* love having the entire bed! Though the time could be better spent if you all didn’t have the nasties right now.

    Hope the kiddies get better soon (and you, too!).

  16. On March 14th, 2008 at 3:40 pm Kim Says:

    I NEVER have my bed to myself. When MY fabulous hubby heads out of town (twice a year, trout opener and opening week of deer season)…the kids know they can snuggle in my space. I must admit, I love having them in there, and the dog sleeps on the floor, something comforting about having us all in one place when the security of the Grown Man in the house is gone….

    but I would LOVE to try a night alone in my bed…..

    make the sausages better, Budda….so Aunt Becky can rest.

    cookies dipped in Killians….that is the vote you get from your Scottish/Irish friend in Michigan….or Jack Daniels if it’s serious enough for that step.

    *hug, hug, kiss, kiss*

  17. On March 14th, 2008 at 9:08 pm Jerseygirl89 Says:

    Hubby is a gone a lot of nights and, um, that’s when I read a lot of blogs. Does that make me a loser?

  18. On March 14th, 2008 at 9:27 pm Chris Austria Says:

    There are times when I wish have the bed to myself but when it actually happens, I can’t sleep and I end-up watching TV all night…I guess I’d rather have somebody hogging the blanket all night than having it all but non to share it with. Marriage is funny this way.

    BTW, is everybody in the blogosphere sick?LOL

  19. On March 14th, 2008 at 10:56 pm kalakly Says:

    Welp, I’m late to the game and you’re probably tucked in and snuggled up with some tater tots after drinking, hopefully, lots of “medicinal” alcohol, with the appropriate spoonful of sugar of course.
    All I can say is when my H is away, I revel in the sweet spot of our bed, right smack dab in the middle, eat crackers, drink wine and LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) baby! Afterall, it’s all based on true stories, right? A girl need to know. I personally changed all my doctors to females after one too many LMN movies about docs raping their patients while they were drugged. But that’s a whole other topic:)
    Feel better kay??

  20. On March 15th, 2008 at 3:42 am Jenn Says:

    Well, you COULD fu@k Matt Damon. That’s my vote anyways, heh!

  21. On March 15th, 2008 at 9:11 am Angela Says:

    Cookies? WTF? What happened to vodka?

  22. On March 15th, 2008 at 9:13 pm LAS Says:

    Oh darn – I should have read this sooner! I would have made the cookies!!

  23. On March 16th, 2008 at 9:38 pm honeywine Says:

    Never…ever…lie to me about cookies!

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