Mommy Wants Vodka

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Go Ask Aunt Becky


Dear Aunt Becky,

I drop in on your site from time to time, but usually from an aggregate site that has become Anyway, my question is, what happened to the blogger whose picture showed her in old-fashioned curlers? I can’t remember her name and for some reason this is driving me crazy.

Thanks for your help and for your exquisite sense of humor.

Well, Prankster, thank YOU for the kind words! They’re much appreciated!

The blogger I think you’re thinking of is my good friend Jenny, The Bloggess. She’s full of the awesome.

Evening Aunt Becky!

While checking out the questions and comments on BnB to comfort and convince myself that I’m not the only one who doesn’t always really get motherhood it popped up with a link to your blog in the side bar! I was pleased to see it as I’ve been enjoying your blog for ages and hope others have been clicking through.


Dear Prankster Laura,

While I thank you kindly for your kind words and the referrer, I’m afraid that I have no idea what BnB is. In fact, I’ve spent a good deal of time trying to figure it out. And yes, yes, I AM compulsive.

Does it mean?

Bed and Breakfast?

Bread and Butter?

Banana Nut Bread?

Black and Blue?


Bad News Bears?

I simply do not know. So, Prankster Laura (or others), what, pray tell, does BnB mean?

P.S. I like to imagine it to mean “Black and Blue.”

Dear Aunt Becky,

I have no question but go have a look at what I found. Bob Ross finger Puppets  😀

..tonya cinnamon

Dear Prankster Tonya,

O.M.G. How have I not SEEN these before? I feel like my whole life has been a lie!

P.S. I require these for Christmas to be happy.

Hello, Aunt Becky!

Here’s a faithful viewer of your awesomesauce blog, asking for advice. I’m an 18-year-old girl, and I have a mother who’s been through a helluva though life. Born to a poor family, many of her best friends dying when they were just teens, two stillborn children and a divorce, just to name a few. She’s ultimately the strongest woman I’ve ever known. However, she never talks about those happenings in her past – only offhand mentions and some things I remember her telling me when I was just a tiny crotch parasite, asking everything about my mommy that could ever enter my tiny mind.

I would like to be as open with her as possible – after the divorce, the two of us lived together for 8 years, and despite living in different cities these days, we’re really really close – and would also like her to be able to talk about her past with me. Even though we’re so close, I sometimes get the feeling that I don’t know my mother at all – all we talk about is my life, my tiny problems. I’m not sure what I’m actually even asking for, just maybe some advice, on how to deal with her? How to bring up difficult subjects? Or should I never mention them at all?

Ever so thankful,

Dearest Elisa,

I hope that my daughter will grow to be as wonderful a woman as you. Your mother is beyond lucky to have such a lovely daughter as you. I just had to say that to start off with, or I might burst from your awesomeness.

Honestly, I’m getting teary.

Anyway, enough about my hormones. I’d simply go ahead and ASK your mother about those subjects. Tell her what you just told me: that you’d like to know more about her and feel like you’re as awesome a daughter as you (obviously) are. I’m sure that even if she doesn’t wish to talk about it, she’ll appreciate knowing that her daughter remembered her stories. That way the door is open for her to talk about herself, too.

See, Moms, well, we’re used to NOT talking about ourselves very candidly to our children. We can’t be effective parents if we’re always whining about our own shit. It’s not that I don’t want my kids to know me – even the ugly bits – but I think it’s easy to be caught in the rut of “my child is more important than I am.” Because that’s what parenthood is – putting someone else ahead of your needs most of the time.

But I think if you tell her what you told me, she’ll not only be touched, but know what an amazing job she’s done as a parent. Because she has.

Love to you,

Aunt Becky


Pranksters, please fill in wherever I left off. Especially the part about “BnB.” Seriously, I’ve been up all night long (alll niiiiiggghhhht longggggg) trying to figure it out.

posted under Go Ask Aunt Becky
16 Comments to

“Go Ask Aunt Becky”

  1. On November 27th, 2011 at 6:45 am Anna Says:

    I think that maybe it was ‘bumps and babies’ or ‘baby and bump’. Both of which are parenting forums which Laura mentions. Other than that I have no idea.

    Hope I am right so that you can get some sleep!!

  2. On November 27th, 2011 at 8:04 am Varda (SquashedMom) Says:

    OK, Aunt Becky, you have infected my brain with your obsession (happy now, darling?) and I’m Googling away and trying to figure out what the hell BnB is, too. It’s certainly not the Bridgehampton National Bank (although that would be way cool if they had awesome blog links in their side bar). Urban Dictionary thought it was the Bad News Bears, but you’ve already explored and discarded that possibility. Thinking, thinking, thinking… I’ll get back to you. (There goes my Sunday!)

  3. On November 27th, 2011 at 8:52 am Varda (SquashedMom) Says:

    Bullet Nose Bushing, Books Not Bars, BNB Kennel (Canadian Labrador Retriever breeders), Benzene-Nitrogen-Benzene, Bulk Nucleate Boiling, blood-nerve barrier, British National Bibliography, Brand New Baby, Banco Nacional de Bolivia, Bikes Not Bombs? … I still got nothing.

  4. On November 27th, 2011 at 9:27 am Monica Says:

    I’m going to guess

  5. On November 27th, 2011 at 9:49 am katrina Says:

    beer and bangers?……now i’m hungry….

  6. On November 27th, 2011 at 11:21 am Tracie Says:

    I MUST HAVE Bob Ross finger puppets, or my life will not be complete.

    BnB? I have no idea. But I hope someone figures it out, because it is going to drive me crazy.

  7. On November 27th, 2011 at 11:52 am Gia Says:

    Babies n Blogging? it’s about motherhood, and links to your site…

  8. On November 27th, 2011 at 3:17 pm Pete In Az Says:

    From Urban Dictionary:
    Bahala Na Barkada

    One of the most Dangerous Street Asain Street Gang. Dates back to the phillipines and all over california and everywhere. Bahala Na Barkaka is in tagalog which means Go ahead friends. Thry claim the Flue

    Others I found:

    British National Bibliography
    Aero Banobras
    Bad News Bears
    blood-nerve barrier
    Bulk Nucleate Boiling
    Bullet Nose Bushing
    Business New Brunswick


    Bed ‘n Breakfast
    Banque Nationale de Belgique
    Banco do Nordeste do Brasil (Brazil)
    Bulgarian National Bank
    British National Bibliography
    Black ‘N Blue (Rolling Stones album)
    Branch and Bound
    Books Not Bars
    Brew Not Bombs
    Booster Neutrino Beam
    Belgian National Bank
    Burt Neilson Band (Canadian rock band)
    Bank of New Brunswick
    Broiled-in-Butter (mushrooms)
    British North Borneo
    Berlin Neutron Ball

    How about this one?
    Branch and bound (BB) is a general algorithm for finding optimal solutions of various optimization problems, especially in discrete and combinatorial optimization. It consists of a systematic enumeration of all candidate solutions, where large subsets of fruitless candidates are discarded en masse, by using upper and lower estimated bounds of the quantity being optimized.

  9. On November 28th, 2011 at 11:25 am Grace Says:

    Ow. My head hurts now.

  10. On November 27th, 2011 at 5:26 pm swalumni Says:

    I may have bragged about my AB on babyandbump forums. Thats what I think it is. 🙂

  11. On November 27th, 2011 at 8:27 pm ScienceGeek Says:

    BnB is a rap artist. He grew up on 9 mile road, which is in Ohio and actually a lovely area to raise a family. His parents have been married for 40 years now, and they’re very supportive of him. Due to an unfortunate allergy, is unable to consume drugs or alcohol. Most of his songs are about his hobbies – growing bonsai and breeding six-toed cats – and his desire to find a nice girl to settle down with.

    He’s not a very well-known rap artist.

  12. On November 28th, 2011 at 8:58 am Holly Says:

    The eyebrows on that Bob Ross finger puppet look super concerned and not nearly as happy-trees-happy as I would like to remember him.

  13. On November 28th, 2011 at 11:27 am Grace Says:

    Ah! I’m a bad Prankster! I saw that Bob Ross finger puppet a few weeks ago. I thought of you, Aunt Becky, but didn’t think to pass the info on to you. I’m fired.

  14. On November 28th, 2011 at 7:33 pm Caroline Says:

    I’m going with Bullshit N Bollocks.

  15. On November 29th, 2011 at 8:48 am Alison Says:

    Of course the first thing I think of is Barnes and Nobles (BnB) because all I do is read!!

  16. On November 29th, 2011 at 3:56 pm Laura Says:

    I loved all the BnB guesses, it was indeed
    Now I want beer and bangers, but Frosties will have to do.

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