Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Go Ask Aunt Becky


Aunt Becky Mommy Needs VodkaDear Aunt Becky,

Hypothetically, let’s say you have an obese ‘friend’ (more than acquaintance, not BFF’s). You see something that you think would interest them because of their size, like a show or a blog. Do you tell them about it knowing they’ll make the connection to their size? Or just keep it to yourself?

*whistles* Oh Prankster, this question seems positively fraught with peril.

My dad gave me two pieces of advice (he’s given me WAY more than that):

1) “Put on some goddamned pants, Rebecca.”

3) Don’t ever talk shit about the in-laws, ask if someone is pregnant unless the baby is hanging out of their vagina, or bring up weight.

Recently, I got a PR pitch, something that rarely happens to me because I swear a lot (because swearing = awesome), so I was a little flattered. This company was offering me free plus-sized clothes.


I’m not plus-sized. I don’t know that you’d know what I weigh or what size I wear by reading my blog or anything, but this was a little…awkward. It didn’t hurt my feelings or anything. I mean, I’m more offended when someone expects me to jump up and down for a $5 box of chocolates, but if I’d gotten the pitch when I still losing the baby weight? I might not have liked it. No, scratch that, I’d have cried. I was really sensitive about it.

So, I don’t know that I can tell you what you should do since I don’t know you or her or your relationship to her, but I’ll tell you that I ignored my dad’s first rule (pants are bullshit, after all), but I do try and follow number two. Unless she’s asking you for referral, I think this is better left alone. Hurt feelings aren’t easily mended.

Pranksters? Advice?

Dear Aunt Becky,

The night I was born, my mother called my father at 1am in the morning saying “This baby will not go to sleep!” And I basically haven’t slept ever since.

Quite literally from the day I was born, I’ve been an insomniac. Actually, even worse than an insomniac, I’ve been a nocturnal insomniac. A term I’m 20% certain I made up, meaning I’m about 99% more likely to have luck falling asleep during the day than at night. No matter how exhausted I feel during the day, the sun goes down and suddenly I’m wide awake. I’m not sure if I’m a vampire or an opossum, but either way, it’s ANNOYING!

I’m 20 1/2 years old and this thing has been messing up my life my. whole. life. I would rather like to NOT go through the remainder of my life feeling like a zombie. As I have everyday of my life thus far. And sleeping pills are NOT the answer! So speaking to a fellow insomniac and fellow merry pranksters, are there any magic tricks I can try or voodoo people I can see? Because my internal clock really needs to be reset.


Sleepless In A City Other Than Seattle

Oh Prankster, my Prankster, I’d love to churn out something flip and witty and coy about insomnia, but I can’t because I haven’t slept properly in weeks.

Like you, I’m nocturnal. I’ve spent thirty years trying to reverse this. Thirty years trying to fit into a world that doesn’t operate on my schedule. And you know what I’ve learned? I can’t.

I also go through cycles where sleep doesn’t come no matter what I do. Insomnia is a wily bastard. I have no doubt that someone like Heath Leger, who reportedly suffered insomnia, was just trying to get some freaking sleep.

As for curing your insomnia, I wish like hell I had anything of substance to offer you. I write (in my head) when I can’t sleep. I take sleep aids. I’ve tried a bedtime routine and chamomile tea and candles and visualization and meditation and relaxation and exercise and sex and melatonin there’s nothing that’s much helped me. I’m a shitty sleeper.

Tonight I’m certain I’ll be up with some catchy commercial jingle in my head because it’s not bad enough that I can’t sleep – I have to hear the Turn The (fucking) Tub Around song while I lay in bed watching the minutes tick by growing more and more irritated with each passing second.

Maybe I’ll catch you on IM sometime.

Pranksters? Any advice for Sleepless and Your Aunt Becky?

So, Pranksters, I have a Go Ask Aunt Becky question up over here and it’s about cosmetic surgery. As in: what would you tell your daughter if you were going to be getting a boob job? I haven’t been able to look at the comments because I’m terrified that I’m being shredded in them. Plastic surgery, it seems, is one of those things that people get very up in arms about.

And, as always, please feel free to pick up where I left off in the comments. I’ll be interested to hear what you have to say in response to all of these questions. Because, obviously.

Blah, blah, blah, BLOGGIES.

posted under Go Ask Aunt Becky
41 Comments to

“Go Ask Aunt Becky”

  1. On February 6th, 2011 at 12:35 am C Says:

    I don’t know what to tell you. My schedule is completely a mess now as well. I have anxiety that makes sleeping a challenge and have recently developed what I like to call the ‘Hours of Darkness.’ Between the hours of midnight and sunrise I absolutely cannot sleep unless the circumstances are perfect (which usually means if I happen to fall asleep on the couch while my significant other is playing video games.) Elsewise, there are a million and one terrifying reasons that enter my head for not sleeping as soon as I try.

    I do love me a good mid-day nap though!

    And…that was no help, but I hope you find something that works for you.

  2. On February 6th, 2011 at 1:07 am malinda Says:

    i refuse sleeping aides also… 3 beers or ‘drinks’ n i could almost fall asleep…. 6 pack- good n plenty!! but who want 2 b an alcky? Not me!! if no more drama arrised?? get the point? i always thought i had ADHD…. still kinda think i do, but i have learned how 2 use it 2 my advantage…

  3. On February 6th, 2011 at 1:41 am Nate Says:

    Not sure it’d qualify as a fix for insomnia, but the best means I’ve found for reseting a sleep schedule, for myself at least, is actually to force myself to stay up for several days in a row, and then go to sleep a few hours before my target bedtime. I’ve personally found this to be more effective than going to bed at a prescribed time a as a fix.

  4. On February 6th, 2011 at 3:37 am andygirl Says:

    for the first prankster- I think it really depends on the friend. my very bestie of besties is overweight and can talk about it with certain of us. she’s got a sense of humor about it too. I could send her something she’d appreciate and she wouldn’t get hurt. but if someone else did, she might. BUT my other bestie also struggles with weight a bit. she makes jokes about it but I never bring it up because I know she’s trying her best and is sensitive about it and I also think both my ladies are gorgeous as-is. my advice? only you know your friend, but always err on the side of caution. better to leave it alone than hurt feelings.

    to the second- woman, I hear ya. I am an eternal insomniac. it’s effed up my life for years. best advice? either give in or fight it. you can always get a nocturnal job. retail closing shifts and night waitresses are always in demand. I now work from home which means I don’t make much money, but I do make my own schedule. it helps. but? if you have to fight it, the best things that work for me are: valerian root, benadryl, and reading. I have to read something before I go to bed or I can’t turn off my brain. and give yourself a break. if you can’t sleep, don’t force it. that’s just miserable.

  5. On February 6th, 2011 at 9:26 am Dark Mother Says:

    I just read your comments after I commented and basically said the same as you, but you are a much better writer : )

  6. On February 6th, 2011 at 3:49 am TeDiouS Says:

    I have always been a bad sleeper as well. If you CAN sleep during the day, though, and it is just at night that you fail, Sleepless, why not try to do just that? Sleeping during the day is better than not sleeping at all, and it IS possible to shift your life around to manage that, especially if you are on your own. If you are in school, take nigh classes, find a night job, etc. At least you will still have a life and be able to sleep during the day.

  7. On February 6th, 2011 at 4:30 am Angela Says:

    I’m a terrible sleeper, always have been. I’ve been a night owl since I was young, but my kids wake up at the ass crack of dawn so I probably average 4 hours of sleep a night. Sometimes I can catch a nap during the day since I work from home.

    One thing I’ve found is not to fight it. I sleep when I’m tired. When I toss and turn and lay awake for hours I end up getting a headache, so I just get up and read or something and just catch up later. If I have to sleep, I like Benadryl/Tylenol combo as far as meds go since it’s short acting–I take it about an hour before I want to fall asleep.

    Right now it’s 4:30 am here WIDE AWAKE!

  8. On February 6th, 2011 at 6:29 am Leslee Says:

    For the question about the friend who’s overweight – If you are REALLY concerned about the connection to her weight being made, then DO NOT suggest the website or blog or whatever it is. Just cuzz someone is fat does not mean that they are going to like something that is fat oriented and it is extremely offensive to have someone just assume that it would be, ESPECIALLY if that someone making the suggestion is not a fellow fattie (which I am assuming is the case simply based on the question). As a fattie, I can tell you that it would piss me off quite a bit, but it would also hurt my feelings more than I care to admit. Now, if you still feel like you want to suggest whatever it is you found, maybe approach it as being something that might interest her due to it’s humor or something like that – ANYTHING that does not center on it making you think of her cuzz of her weight.

    Insomniac – Oi. Before I got all knocked up, I was all about sleeping pills. And working third shift, though that fucked me up even more than simply being awake at home. Since getting preggo, I haven’t had any problems and can pretty much sleep whenever, wherever. So… Get pregnant? 😛 I’m teasing. I wish I could offer up some kind of magical cure cuzz I know how hard not sleeping sucks. If I find something, I’ll be sure to come back and clue you in, but you have to do the same. 🙂

  9. On February 6th, 2011 at 7:00 am Andy Says:

    1) as a woman of size who is trying to lose weight, I would be fine with suggestions/links from someone that I have discussed my weight concerns with. But if it was a casual acquaintance who I had not never talked to about weight/dieting before, I would likely be offended and hurt and feel judged.

    2) I don’t have insomnia like you folks, but Roiboos tea works wonders for me (and my 8 year old who is on ADHD meds and has trouble sleeping as a result). Good luck!

    Good luck everyone!

  10. On February 9th, 2011 at 8:48 pm Vinomom Says:

    What is Roiboos tea?? My ten year old ADHD doesn’t sleep either!

  11. On February 6th, 2011 at 8:48 am Nona Says:

    To the first prankster: Refrain from sharing the awesome blog or show with your acquaintance. She knows she’s fat. I’ve been fat all my life. I don’t need a newsflash from well-meaning acquaintances. Trust me on this.

  12. On February 6th, 2011 at 8:48 am Nona Says:

    To the first prankster: Refrain from sharing the awesome blog or show with your acquaintance. She knows she’s fat. I’ve been fat all my life. I don’t need a newsflash from well-meaning acquaintances. Trust me on this.

  13. On February 6th, 2011 at 8:54 am SharleneT Says:

    For the first question: Do NOT be a “friend” and give the site etc. If they joke about their weight — it’s probably because they want to get the jokes in first to lessen the pain of being made fun of and they ALREADY know they have a weight problem — just like folks who point out your pimples, like you don’t have a mirror. Believe me, they know, and will do whatever when they’re ready to and not before. If they’re your friend, be a friend. And, no, it’s like drinking too much at a party where you step in and refuse to let them drive a car. But, it is a situation they have to choose changing and there are a gazillion places, magazines, websites, they can find on their own. When the weight loss is successful (if that’s their choice), they’ll be more than happy to share it with you.

    Sleep problems? Since I was a babe, I’ve only required five hours of sleep per night. I don’t give a rat’s patootie what the ‘experts’ say is a good night’s sleep. If I’ve survived (very successfully, by the way) throughout my life on five hours, dammit, that’s what my body requires. Doesn’t matter how tired I am — five hours later I’m wide awake. I’ve had to adjust my bedtime hours to handle daytime work, but that’s because I sleep the minute my head hits the pillow (unless, of course, someone has better ideas!!!) But, what I did learn to do, years ago, is to take power naps. Rarely go beyond ten minutes, but am refreshed for hours. The power naps take me through major projects. Never had the sleeping pill habit, but then never listened to other people telling me what my sleeping habits had to be. If you’re young and only taking care of yourself, then adjust however you want to… but, if you have a family and other obligations, learn power napping so you can be alert for driving etc., and let your body tell you what to do. (Of course, I can fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow because I’ve never had an impure thought… just sayin’…..l0l )

  14. On February 6th, 2011 at 9:28 am Dark Mother Says:

    I am a fatty and I joke about my weight all the time. It’s not because I’m crying in my coffee in private, it’s because I joke about everything. Just wanted clear things up, not all fat people are self-loathing.

  15. On February 7th, 2011 at 4:57 pm McSarah Says:

    See I got the impression that the LW saw a cool blog about dressing a plus sized body or a great sale website for plus sized clothes. Still touchy, but not so much about weight as something you thought she would like that HAPPENS to also be for plus sized girls.

    Still it all depends on how good your relationship is with her. I would try the whole ‘i LOVE this website, you gotta check it out’ thing.

  16. On February 6th, 2011 at 9:25 am Creekwv Says:

    Sleepyhead should talk to a neurology based sleep specialist. Might be a form of norcolepsy, or some other central sleep disorder. I struggle with similiar problems, and that seems to be the closest I have come to a definition of the nighttime wakefulness, and miserable hits of drowsy in the daytime.
    Gets old seeing those bs ” 8 ways to a good nights sleep” articles and knowing none of those happy little solutions work for you.

  17. On February 6th, 2011 at 9:30 am Creekwv Says:

    Dammit, I misspelled narcolepsy. I’d like to blame it on the iPhone, or my three year old sitting on my head, but it’s all me.

  18. On February 6th, 2011 at 9:53 pm teki Says:

    Ever checked your thyroid out?

  19. On February 6th, 2011 at 9:25 am Dark Mother Says:

    About the fat girrrrrrrrl question. Being a fat girrrrrrrrl myself, I’d like to speak on behalf of all of us (jk, kinda).

    If I am bffs with someone (meaning they have seen me at my best and worst and have stories about me that could be used to blackmail me for my life savings) I would totally not be offended if my bestie suggested a show, book or whatever about fatty mcfattersteins. As you can see, I’m not sensitive about my weight and have many loving nicknames for my arse.

    However, if your friend is sensitive about her weight and/or is not your bff…zipper your lip.

  20. On February 6th, 2011 at 10:00 am Dana Says:

    Ummmm … yeah … I could write an entire blog post on that first question …

    Most of us who are fat are well aware of why we are fat. We eat too much (and of the wrong foods) and we don’t exercise enough. We would LOVE to think there is some magic bullet that would easily fix what most of us hate most about ourselves (just look at the multi-billion dollar diet industry), and for what we are judge on daily (most critically by ourselves) but we all know there isn’t. What we DON’T need is someone giving us “hints” that they realize we are fat too and they want to “help” us. PLEASE, for the love of bacon fat, DO NOT TRY TO HELP US UNLESS WE ASK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!!

    That is all …

  21. On February 6th, 2011 at 10:24 am sara Says:

    Oy, Insomnia. i write about what I have tried on my blog here:

    And how I weaned myself off heavy-duty sleep meds after taking them for well over a year:

    It’s just easier to link through than re-explain everything. I am full of the lazy. Since going off meds last fall, insomnia has crept back in to my life- once a week, then twice, then three times. It gets scary fast, because when I am tired enough I feel wild and desperate. Back to the therapist I go then. Other investigations I have tried since my blog entries:
    – Food sensitivities- I had an IgG blood test for the 20 most common food sensitivities, thinking that it was a problem with gluten or corn. Test showed slight reactions to peanuts and shellfish, neither of which I eat enough to cause insomnia. I also did 2 rounds of food elimination diets- dairy, then gluten- with no improvement in symptoms. But, there is a lot of evidence out there that food sensitivities can cause neurological symptoms like insomnia and anxiety. If anyone is interested I can provide references.
    – Colonoscopy netted no results beyond good ole IBS. But again, GI disease like Crohns, IBD, Celiac can affect sleep.
    – The nights I have insomnia follow the days when I only drank 1L or less of water. And follow days when I was especially sedate and didn’t move much. Although sometimes it follows days when I have exercised, so it’s not fool-proof.
    – We take a magnesium fizzy drink called Dr. Gillum’s (I think) Calm. It’s helpful when the problem is still low-moderate. When severe, it relaxed me but sleep didn’t come.
    – Hot showers/ baths apparently trigger a physiological response. Something about your blood vessels doing things (yeah, I should know what exactly but I can’t remember if they dilate or constrict.)….your body has warmed up in the shower. When you get out, your body needs to cool down to get back into homeostasis. The side effect of that is that you get sleepy. Basically a sweating-makes-you-cooler-type thing. This works best for me for the middle of the night wake up calls.
    – I’ve long suspected that my liver is not full of the awesome. Liver enzyme tests always come back fine, but I had malaria several years ago and ever since then, can’t quite metabolize things they way I should, esp. alcohol. I know that I took malaria meds and that the liver regenerates, so this makes zero sense scientifically, but it’s a hunch all the same. While pursuing my most recent theory (Candida overgrowth), I came across a few sites claiming that the liver is most active at night, between 11-3am, which fits well with the insomnia link. The idea is that the liver is churning out toxins at that time, which get into your bloodstream and affect your mind. HOWEVER, bear in mind I have not vetted this claim. I did a lazy search and couldn’t find anything suggesting that liver activity follows any circadian rhythm. It might, it might not. I generally don’t like to throw out things that I haven’t been able to validate. But, I know how desperate it feels to not sleep, so maybe someone else can find the info I can’t.
    Sorry about the long-ass comment. But I wanted to share everything I’ve tried- maybe you fit one of these solutions! May we all find the strength to refrain from throttling the co-worker who says, “I know what you mean. I didn’t sleep one night last week.”

  22. On February 6th, 2011 at 10:45 am dulcibella Says:

    All you pranksters with sleep problems…have you tried going to a sleep clinic? Where (I think) they analyze your sleep patterns? They actually have one of those clinics in my rather small city so I am sure they are not hard to find.

    I am only asking to throw out an idea. I have absolutely no idea what it is all about and if they can come up with a plan to help you sleep or not. But they seem to be popular so some people are obviously making use of them. I’d be interested to hear about anyone’s experience with a sleep clinic.

  23. On February 6th, 2011 at 11:03 am TheBeerLady Says:

    I think Dark Mother said it pretty darn well (and I’m a member of the big girl club myself, although I’m shrinking). Along with a bit of a corollary – if you’re asking “Should I bring this up?” then you probably don’t know this person well enough to bring it up. BUT…(there’s always a but, isn’t there?)

    If it’s something you found funny/sad/dramatic/fascinating/whatever,
    recommend it to your friend because YOU liked it and you want to share it. If it’s something that doesn’t interest you but is about a topic that you know your acquaintance likes, recommend it because “Hey, I know you like blah blah blah and I saw this blog.”

    If the only reason you think your friend might find something interesting is because of her size, you’re probably wrong and shouldn’t bring it up. I can’t think of anything in the world that I like because I’m a fat chick. I like blogs that are funny or interesting or make me think. I like shows that make me laugh or cry or are exciting and dramatic and keep me on the edge of my seat. In other words, I like or dislike things for the same reasons that skinny people do.

  24. On February 6th, 2011 at 11:14 am JLK Says:

    To the first Prankster – the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You’re better off not going there.

    To the second Prankster – if you really want to fix it, see a sleep specialist. They have clinics all over the country. There is an official name for people who can only sleep well during the day, but I forget what it is. There are treatments that supposedly work really well.

    If you don’t necessarily want to “fix” it, but would rather learn how to manage and/or deal with it, I suggest getting a 2nd or 3rd shift job so you’re no longer trying to force yourself to fit someone else’s “ideal” schedule.

    And hell, I agree with the commenter above about getting knocked up. There is nothing like having a baby to force you into sleeping whenever and wherever you can. I used to have a really hard time going to bed before 1 or 2am, now I’ll go to bed before 10pm if the baby’s asleep. Ironically, I figured I’d be awesome at motherhood because I could easily stay up all night and sleep all day – but I was (luckily?) given a baby who sleeps most of the night most nights and all night the rest of the time, so I never got to use those habits to my advantage.

  25. On February 6th, 2011 at 12:10 pm JenniferB Says:

    Um I don’t have any advice but just wanted to let you know AB, that the comments over at your other advice post are great, I’d read them!

  26. On February 6th, 2011 at 12:17 pm kittyn Says:

    1st one- No clue,I just keep my mouth shut.

    On the insomnia for the second seekeing prankster (and Aunt Becky)… I dunno, but when you figure it out, tell me, mmkay? I’m currently sleeping (on a good day) between the hours of 5 and 8 am with an hour nap throwin in with the baby, if the other little allows it. And my normal middle of the night IM partner just got his sleep schedule normalized, so it sucks and is insanely boring now . Meh.

    Oh, I had some good luck about a thiurd of the time with laying down with both little people at their bedtime since I couldn’t fidget or I’d keep them up! So,if you’re desperate try sleeping with your kids? I have no clue 😀

    And they arent ripping ya open on your boob job answer, AB.

  27. On February 6th, 2011 at 12:51 pm Natalie Says:

    I am a night owl… always have been. I have a baby, now 8 months old, and people think I’m crazy for not putting her to bed until 9am and we get out of bed at 10am. When she hit about 5 months old I started having insomnia again… laying awake at night. Even though I know I have a limited time for sleep! I always try to get up and do something when I’m laying awake…. learned the hard way, if I just lay there I’ll not sleep all night. At least if I get up and occupy myself I will eventually get tired.

    I really don’t have any more advice, but I wanted to say “me too.” I just can’t sleep at night. But then at about 5am I’m exhausted and I can easily sleep all day. I’ve always been like that. Mornings are terrible… when I was working it nearly killed me to get up early. I just don’t sleep well at night.

  28. On February 6th, 2011 at 1:15 pm Jolie Says:

    Prankster 1 – when in doubt, shut your trap. In fact, I think you need kudos for thinking BEFORE opening your mouth, so good for you. But yeah, don’t share. Words can not be erased.

    No clue about insomnia. I journaled for a bit to help slow down my mind. I’ve also watched reruns on TV Land to get something to refocus on then tried to fall asleep like that. Everyone has different battles to get to snoozeville, finding that trouble is sometimes hard, good luck.

    And AB – you should totally read the comments, and I quote: Becky gives excellent advice. – they love ya man!!!

  29. On February 6th, 2011 at 1:23 pm Squatlo Says:

    I’d rather try to put a cat into a coke bottle than mention any weight related issue with a female friend. You just don’t. Guys can clown about it, talk about anything, but because we’ve spent the past fifty years making the Twiggy-body-mass-index thingie send legions of otherwise healthy, happy women into therapy or eating disorders, I think it’s best left unsaid. If I could undo anything about today’s society that didn’t involve politics or religion (too many issues there to ignore) I’d see to it that people accept themselves as they are and not beat themselves up because they don’t match the magazine model ideal we’ve marketed to them. We’d be a happier lot of folks if we just chilled about the weight issues and loved life more.

    I try to sleep at night with a woman who runs in place, jumps,kicks, and thrashes like she’s being chased, raped, or tossed from a plane in her dreams. She’s also a third degree black belt, so when she gets in fights in her dreams I end up with bruises and cracked ribs… I’ve learned to “sleep” in a fetal position, carefully covering gonads, ribs, and eyes from her unpredictable dream sequences. I’ve not had a restful night’s sleep in the six years we’ve shared a bed… The only thing that helps is massive amounts of drugs or alcohol. Not for me, but for her. Then she sleeps, I can finally relax, and I don’t wake up in the middle of the night in fear for my life.

  30. On February 6th, 2011 at 2:44 pm Becca Says:

    Ok, about the first question, if you are truly besties than you should know how your friend feels about her/his weight. I personally am trying to live through fat acceptance. This is not a topic that I discuss. I am comfortable with my weight, and I am okay with not dieting. The one time that I tried to rationally discuss this with a friend of mine, she said that I really couldn’t be ‘ok’ with fat acceptance if I brought it up with her. That really hurt, so now I really just don’t discuss it. If you feel you really know her well enough than go for it, but if you have the slightest little question than do whatever you can not to hurt her feelings…

  31. On February 6th, 2011 at 3:00 pm Jamie Says:

    NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER suggest something you think someone would like because they are fat!! Weight is a way too sensitive topic. When I buy clothes as a present I even buy a size smaller then I think unless they specifically request an item in a size. I’d rather they had to exchange it then god forbid get them a size too big and thereby suggest I think they are larger then they are. If you recommend something to a friend have it be because YOU like it and thought they might too. Otherwise you’re just making assumptions on their interests based on superficial reasons. Never good. Inevitable doom will follow.

  32. On February 6th, 2011 at 5:31 pm Tiffany Says:

    To the Prankster with insomnia,

    Sleep clinics have done wonders for a couple of my friends that have had issues. Sleep clinics can be found almost everywhere these days and if you have one available to you, I would highly recommend giving it a try.

    If it is simply a matter of your sleep schedule being directly opposite of the societal norm. Then live it that way to the best of your ability. Get a night job, take night classes if you can, do your errands in the evening and sleep during the day. People who live the more common 9-5 daylight schedules can get preachy about your “odd hours”, so you might feel that you should struggle to conform. But there is nothing wrong with shifting your life around the hours that you function best.

  33. On February 6th, 2011 at 6:43 pm Andrea Says:

    I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who feels the same in regards to the first Prankster’s question. Take it from a big ol’ fat girl: DON’T. If you are absolute best friends — like for over a decade, I’d-give-her-a-kidney, 3 AM drunk dialing, delivery room cheering squad BEST freakin’ friends…maybe. If you wouldn’t give her an organ or bail money, DON’T say a blessed thing about her weight. There is no way this can go well, and you will make her feel like crap.

    Even those of us who have accepted that we’re going to go through life on the hefty side don’t need to be given “suggestions” for anything based on size. Would you ever suggest a book, show, website, whatnot to someone based solely on their race, or their disability/handicap/whatever? Of course not. I have a friend with CP – if I suggested something to him that I just knew he’d like simply because of his CP, he’d beat me with his crutch for assuming that was a defining characteristic for him. For good reason. He’d rather be thought of as a funny guy with great taste than as the guy with the crutches who would appreciate some suggestions.

    Here’s an example: a very close friend in college sent me one of those email survey things. The last question was “Say something nice about so and so”. She said “I think Andrea would be very pretty if she would lose 25 pounds.” That was 10 years ago — I’ll never, ever forget it, and I’ll probably never forget the feeling I had when I realized what she really thought about me. Do you want to spread that kind of feeling around? Just DON’T.

  34. On February 9th, 2011 at 8:59 pm Vinomom Says:

    I just had to comment at that last sentence – WTF?? She actually said that?? That is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard in my life and I am pretty damn outspoken and blunt. Only a dumb biatch would ever say such a thing to anyone.

  35. On February 6th, 2011 at 11:14 pm MannyRee Says:

    I dream of a world where we can all sleep when ever the hell we want to.

    That is all.

  36. On February 7th, 2011 at 7:55 am Camille Says:

    First, my parents were horrified by my insomnia but there was nothing they or I could do about it except suck it up. Try to get a job or shape your life in a way that embraces the quirk.

    Second, excellent advice about plus size friends – or anybody – for that matter. We should shut our whore mouths because why run the risk of hurting someones feelings big time?

    Third, the comments over at the breast augmentation guest commentary site are perfectly fine so far – no asshole comments yet. I think you did an outstanding job explaining your situation and feelings Becks…you rock.

  37. On February 7th, 2011 at 8:51 am Dr. Cynicism Says:

    To prankster #1: And we wonder why drama occurs so frequently among female friends…

  38. On February 7th, 2011 at 10:50 am Karen Says:

    Being a overweight girl, I can just say that I’d have absolutely no problem with someone bringing up my weight. I know that I am fat and I know that you know that I am fat. There is no use pretending that I am not fat. So if you have something that might interest me, please share. Fat is not all that I am, but it IS part of who I am.

  39. On February 7th, 2011 at 12:31 pm Dark Mother Says:

    You are fucking awesome! I feel the same way!

  40. On February 7th, 2011 at 9:19 pm Manda Says:

    Sleepless Prankster! I hear you!

    I’m not really an insomniac so much as nocturnal…but I have a couple of suggestions. First, get a 2nd or 3rd shift job. This can wreak havoc on your social life but it’s not too bad unless you have kids. This optimizes your daytime sleep opportunities.

    And when I can’t sleep, I watch a movie I hate. My body falls asleep in self defense. A few to try are Gettysburg, Lepruchan (or however you spell that) or anything with Will Farrell.

  41. On February 8th, 2011 at 11:05 am Jamie Says:

    Insomnia seems to be a popular topic lately. While I’m more of a night person and have Always had a hard time getting to sleep (a 7am speech class in college was REALLY rough) it’s generally nothing an Advil PM or Benadryl can’t fix if I really need it. However some people I know who do have bona fide insomnia were just discussing it and someone recommended the book ‘Say Goodnight to Insomnia’ and said it really worked for her. Don’t know if you’ve already heard of it. Might buy a copy for my aunt. I definitely get my nocturnal preference from her but luckily not nearly as severe. 😉

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