Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Go Ask Aunt Becky


What makes a blogger a great blogger? You’re awesome and I’m fascinated on a daily basis when I read your blog. I have a blog, and I imagine I have a few readers at least, or I hope. I get 2 or 3 comments every time I blog, which excites me…but what can I do to get more people to comment on my blogs, and how do I go from just having a blog to having a great blog?

Well, first, thank you kindly for your sweet words. Flattery will, as you well know, get you everywhere with me, so would you like to come over so that I can maybe wax your car and cook you a ten course lunch or something?

First, my not-so-inclusive-list-of-Blogging-For-Dummies-Tips

Blogging is a tricky thing to quantify, because although there are a lot of “experts” who write articles about it on google, as any quick search will pull up, most of them don’t have jack shit to say. Seriously. I totally don’t have jack shit to say either, but I have never claimed to be an expert on anything whatsoever.

Except AWESOMENESS! And winning at LIFE!

But since you asked, I’ll try to answer. If you’re talking about starting a blog about a niche market, though-knitting, gardening, cooking, technology-make sure that you scour those site and stick with that topic. Join a forum about said topic and try to connect with like-minded people. But don’t expect people interested in Linux to be wowed by your Orchid Lovers UNITE!!! (or UNTIE!1!!) blog.

Cross pollination rarely works unless you have an established core audience, and even then, they’re probably not reading about your Fantasy Football Picks if they came to read your cookie recipes.

If you’re talking about personal blogs, like mine, well, it can be a really tricky niche to break into (with the saturation of blogs onto the web, let’s face it, they’re ALL tough to break into) as well.

In the blogging world, you need to have a product that other people want.

Some people offer advice. Or recipes. Or humor. Or pictures. Or tips and tricks. Or porn. Or escapism. If you can successfully offer this to people, you will have a great blog.

I’d start off by just… writing. Stories are a good place to start, but not everything makes a good story and not every story needs to be told. You’ll learn what works by reading what other bloggers that have been at it awhile do. The best personal blogs offer readers something that they are able to relate to.

Unfortunately, there is no THAT WAS EASY button when it comes to blogging.

Blogging successfully takes a lot of work. It’s mostly unpaid, it opens you up to all sorts of criticism and it’s about as glamorous as saying that you clean toilets with your tongue for a living. I spend hours a day blogging, writing, reading, commenting, tweeting, and keeping up with my friends and readers.

And as for the comment quandary:

If you want comments and you want to build a Loyal Internet Army, the only way that I know of (save for inviting the spam bots in) is to comment until your fingers bleed on other people’s blogs.

Go to Google reader, hook yourself up with one, add a bunch of blogs, and comment like crazy. I’m a hell of a lot more likely to keep tabs on people who are loyal to me and I know that other people feel the same way. When I started blogging here, I had been blogging elsewhere for several years prior, and my friends (ACTUAL friends, as in people who personally have squeezed my hot ass) followed me here.

It took at least 2.5 months of solid comments and near-daily posting for a single person other than my friends to comment here. So before you feel too self-conscious about your own lack of comments, do remember that. That alone should keep you warm on many a cold night.

Also, a technique for getting comments much less distasteful than outright begging (or whining) for comments is asking a question or trying to engage your readers. If you want to build a loyal community, you should make sure to foster that part of it. Build your blog roll, know your readers, comment like mad.

If that is too much work for you then you probably won’t have a Blogging Empire.

But blogging, they say, is SO like 2002 anyway, so maybe that’s a good thing.

Besides, who the hell am I to tell you anything?


Does The Daver ever totally freak out on you about your posts? My husband is having a hard time living with me when I write even a whisper that involves him. We normally get along pretty swell, except when he is featured in my blog. Then he gets paranoid and angry. Does the Daver every say, WTF, Becky?!

Will you be shocked to learn that my answer here is actually a “no?”

Hear me out: as I’ve said on countless occasions, and what will serve as Exhibits A, B, C AND D at my trial, Dave plugged me into a blog so that I would stop talking to him. When you see how prolific I am, this must make some sense to you.

If you do go back into the archives during a particularly boring masochistic (or is it sadistic? I cannot be sure.) day, you’d note that I did, at one point talk about The Daver more than I do now.

I’m not sure if I got more self-absorbed or if The Daver got more boring, or a little of both, but I just sort of…stopped. Maybe it’s because I don’t see him much anymore, or maybe because our private time is private and while it does appear that I do let it all hang out, I don’t really, I don’t know.

One time and only one time have I written anything scathing about The Daver and it was on the day before my birthday last year (I won’t link to it, but if you’re industrious, you can find it) and he told me that he just didn’t read it.

It’s weird, I guess, since Daver is really a private guy and I would probably let the mail-man examine my cervix if he asked nicely and it were for med school class or something, but we have it worked out pretty well. I suppose he trusts me not to fuck it up too badly or he knows that he has enough blackmail material on me to shame me underground for years.




Anything you other bloggers out there care to add?


As always, ladies and gentlemen, feel free to submit your questions to Ask Aunt Becky (the linky-poo on the sidebar). I have been trying answer them in an order that makes sense, in case you’re wondering why I haven’t been answering your question.

posted under Go Ask Aunt Becky
62 Comments to

“Go Ask Aunt Becky”

  1. On September 20th, 2009 at 1:05 am Notesfromthegrove Says:

    I wrote a post a little similar to this yesterday, dedicated to YOU, of course.

    Nighty night!

    Moi? *blushes* Can’t wait to delve into my reader!

  2. On September 20th, 2009 at 1:17 am Jenn Says:

    100% right on the comments thing. It’s just like love (aww), you’ve got to give it to get it.

    Absolutely. There is no quick fix here. I get asked this CONSTANTLY and people seem disappointed to learn that there’s no plug-in to direct hoards of commentors over. Nope. Tons of work, like any hobby.

  3. On September 20th, 2009 at 2:04 am Kelly Says:

    I had a wedding blog….which I adored and which appeared to be quite successful, Only it seems somewhat Ironic to keep said Blog when I left my fiance at christmas! I miss it though, it becomes a massive part of your life and It is hard work starting it up….But its harder letting it go πŸ™ – It wasnt so hard to let the fiance go though!!

    Oh no! I’m so sorry! That’s awful news.

    You should start a Life After Wedding Planning blog. I would totally read about it all.

  4. On September 20th, 2009 at 6:07 am Caron Says:

    I have been blogging since about 2000 or 2001 for family and friends. It wasn’t until this recent stint that I realized the blogosphere is a community. I’ve met some swell people! I also have deleted a couple blogs from my blogroll. Where was I going with this?

    My husband liked that Dave wanted you to talk to us. I totally figured he would relate to that. He actually laughed. Yes, if I blogged about him, the first post would be his lack of a sense of humor. But that seems so snarky if you don’t know him.

    Oh, comments! That’s where I was headed. You need to introduce yourself and comments are one great way to do it. See? I can be succinct.

    I remember being all nervous about commenting when I first started blogging here, and now I’m all, “fucking…WAIT, can I swear here? SHIT.”

    It’s a wonder I don’t have advertisers beating down my door. Or is it? Considering I locked it pretty tightly…

  5. On September 20th, 2009 at 6:23 am Badass Geek Says:

    Blogging is hard work, but one needs to do it for the right reasons to succeed. You’ve brought up some good points here.

    Thanks, yo! It IS hard work, if you want to do it well.

  6. On September 20th, 2009 at 7:05 am Minnie Says:

    Dear Aunt Becky,
    How come everytime I invite you over for drinks you never get back to me?
    I promise that I won’t make you hold my hair when I ralph.
    Anxiously awaiting your reply,


    Dear Minnie,

    On my way.

    Aunt Becky

  7. On September 20th, 2009 at 6:14 am DG at Diaryofamadbathroom Says:

    All good advice. I have run into the husband objecting to certain content issue as well and I am just a little more careful about what I put out there about other people. As long as the post consists of some “Diary is an asshole, here’s why . . ” post, everyone is happy.

    Thankfully, I was able to cut my teeth with people who, while many didn’t LIKE me, weren’t quite strangers. I had bumpers and training wheels for my first blog. Also, I used to be more offensive.

  8. On September 20th, 2009 at 6:32 am kyslp Says:

    My Hubs is not too keen on being blogged about but he only spot checks the blog every now and then. So I kind of do whatever I want and wait to get caught. (Kind of like high school.)

    I like to comment on blogs – if I feel like I have something to say about the topic or if it was a particularly great entry. Before I started my blog, I read tons of people and rarely (to never) commented. Now I do comment. Not necessarily to get people to notice me but because I understand that comments are the only payment most bloggers get.

    I comment because I like to say, “I was here” (case and point: me flipping out at you on twitter that I couldn’t comment on your blog) and I know how much it means to bloggers to hear from people who read them. I read every single one of the comments that I get, I’m trying to respond to them (anxiously awaiting threaded comments for this clunky-ass theme) and they all matter. Even the ones that aren’t flattering.

    Comments are awesome. So are you. That is all.

  9. On September 20th, 2009 at 8:09 am TheBeerLady Says:

    Aunt Becky, you are an inspiration! I have a blog. You notice I don’t say that I am a blogger. This is because I tend to post something once every blue moon when I remember that the purpose of a blog is to write on it. I suppose that under the circumstances, I should be neither amazed or surprised that I do not a legion of dedicated followers waiting breathlessly to read my peerless prose and to click on my Google ads and make me rich.

    Actually, the legion of dedicated followers would be nice, but the waiting breathlessly would be a bit of a worry. Now I have a mental image of someone turning blue and falling into their keyboard waiting for me to remember that I even HAVE a blog. And shoot, I blog mostly about beer and cocktails (or the things that occur to me after consuming the aforementioned items). You’d think I’d have plenty to say, wouldn’t you?

    In reading your comments, you always make me wish you blogged more. You have an awesome voice, my friend, and you make me laugh! The mental image just killed me.

    And thanks for not calling me a fucking assbag. I hate answering blogging questions. I feel like such an tool, because who the hell am I to tell YOU anything?

  10. On September 20th, 2009 at 7:59 am Love Says:

    Thanks Aunt Becky – you are the Yoda of the blogosphere. I have been awaiting this answer about The Daver for weeks, but now I just feel jealous because my husband reads all my blogs and is not The Daver. But don’t worry – I only stalk Oprah. The Daver is safe.

    My husband is a super conservative Catholic boy and I used to be somewhat Catholic but now I just write about my lust for gay friends, porn, big boobs and spontaneous orgasms. And these are not topics he is usually into discussing with me, so that could explain his un-The Daver-ness. Maybe I’ll get bored of those topics at some point and write about Vatican II. That should probably get him aroused — and ensure nobody ever reads my blog again.

    Because The Daver is so private, I’m shocked that he’s okay with me vomiting onto the computer daily. Really, I am. Pretty sure that everyone he knows and everyone I know reads it here. Honestly, I still don’t know how he puts up with me.

  11. On September 20th, 2009 at 8:05 am moonduster (Becky) Says:

    I have too many blogs to list, so I can honestly say that the only thing your missing in your list is “frequent updating.” The blog I write in the most, my diet blog, gets more visits and has more followers than the other blogs that I only post in sporadically.

    *smacks head* SPOT ON! I’ll add that one and give you credit. Thank you.

  12. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:13 am Scatteredmom Says:

    Something to add re: the blogging…blog for yourself. Be the best YOU that you can be. Sounds sorta dumb and all, but I found that kept me going when traffic sucked.

    Plus in the beginning I didn’t look at my numbers. When I finally did, I realized what sort of posts people liked, and what they didn’t, so I wrote more of the type that got lots of hits.

    Also I found that chatting w/lots of other people on Twitter and making connections, commenting lots, etc helped. My traffic now is the highest it’s ever been. THREE years later, lolol.

    Hubs and Jake don’t care if I blog about them. I usually tell them before I do, and ask if it’s okay. They always say find or they even will suggest things. At first they were a little wary, but now they don’t care at all.

    OH! I finally bought my own domain. I am the blogging goddess, here. (lolol…RIGHT)

    Blogging for yourself is key. Anyone blogging to get sponsors or marketers is someone I don’t read. Period. If I want a commercial, I’ll watch television.

  13. On September 20th, 2009 at 8:28 am Stone Fox Says:

    oh Aunt Becky, you are so lucky to have a The Daver. the last thing i wrote about my husband was funny, but he got super pissed that i wrote about him and flat out told me that i WAS NOT ALLOWED to write about him. to which i replied something to the effect of YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. we are really mature when we fight.

    i won that round, because the next morning he apologized for being an asshole.

    so basically, my advice is if you’re going to write about people in your life, don’t tell them. they’ll just try to oppress you.


  14. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:05 am Marinka Says:

    I read your advice about blogging and comments and it was very good. I don’t know what to say, so I thought that I’d say that. I hope that you visit my blog.

    I’ll be sure to comment heavily, subscribe to you in 37 readers, tell my own readers about you, tweet you, FB you, Digg you, SU you and overall pimp the shit out of you.

  15. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:07 am Mimi Says:

    Bald-faced lie. The reason you get a lot of comments is because you are better than us. You bitch. On that note, I lurve your design. πŸ˜‰

    Fuck yeah, I am, Admin.

  16. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:13 am ainebegonia Says:

    Seriously Aunt Becky, you need to swipe some of the Daver’s DNA so we can start trying to clone him. It’s simply not fair you have the only one.

    He does have a brother…

  17. On September 20th, 2009 at 10:17 am Lola Says:

    Well, I had something to add when I viewed this in my Reader, but then when I got here and saw Aunt Jemima, I got hungry for waffles. Later…

  18. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:21 am injaynesworld Says:

    Writing anything is hard work. You make it look effortless.

    Thank you very much. I love writing, I love blogging, I love everything that I do.

  19. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:23 am Mrs. Spit Says:

    You also forgot to mention something you are spectacularly good at. . .

    Be a friend.

    GOOD ONE. (and thank you.) A good thing to remember.

    You’re gonna reap just what you sow.

  20. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:25 am Kristin Says:

    Hehehe, I one upped you. Not only does Vic not care if I write about him, I got him to start a blog.

    Ha! Daver has a blog: He updates it about as frequently as I write about my love for Britney Spears, but it’s there.

  21. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:40 am Ginger Magnolia Says:

    Ok, your first comment to the first commenter? I totally read that as, “I can’t wait to shave my reader.” I was all WTF, man?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Hahaha.

    I just wanted to say that and that I love the ~dance party~. Shook my moneymaker, I did.

    *does the Sprinkler*

  22. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:42 am Ashley Says:

    I feel that something else should be mentioned…

    I know that you don’t like to be Becky Ball-buster (ok, sometimes you do, but we agreed that we’d keep that private. What happens with Ben and Jerry stays with Ben and Jerry) but sometimes people just don’t have a talent for blogging. And that’s ok. I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t be any good at making gourmet goat cheese, or regular goat cheese for that matter, but not everyone can be good at everything.

    Except you, my beloved Aunt Becky.

    Also, I’m lucky enough not to have to worry about Erf getting upset about whatever I post about him. For one, he doesn’t read my blog. And two, I’m pretty honest with him in regards to what I say about him on my blog. I wouldn’t want to hurt him anyhow. Erflet, on the other hand, can’t read yet… So he makes an excellent source of good material. πŸ™‚

  23. On September 20th, 2009 at 10:06 am Beautiful Mess Says:

    I am SO in love with my Reader. It isn’t even funny! I remember you saying one time how you wanted to make out with yours and I was wondering WTF a Reader was. Then I saw the light…..a choir of angels sang, there was light streaming from above, and I was wearing a white flow-y dress. It was a beautiful moment. I think you pretty much covered everything on how to get your blog read. Commenting on other blogs does matter, but it shouldn’t be “oh hey, nice post. Have a great day!” Or some BS like that.

    Have a Great Sunday Bex ;o)

  24. On September 20th, 2009 at 10:35 am Melanie Says:

    I think that I am careful with what I say about my partner because I don’t want to regret it tomorrow. While everything I say is 100% honest, not everything I feel needs to be said. It’s my own personal guidelines for blogging.

    I have a small, but solid bloggy following, and I believe that it is 100% because I am honest in my blogging, even if it’s painful, and people gravitate toward that.

  25. On September 20th, 2009 at 10:56 am Christine Says:

    It’s funny, I think my husband is hoping that someone will say to him, “Oh my God, you’re totally Christine’s husband aren’t you?”. Unfortunately he’s going to be waiting a long, long, long time if my stats are any indication of who’s paying attention to me… oh well.

  26. On September 20th, 2009 at 11:17 am Amanda@LadyScientist Says:

    My husband doesn’t mind if I blog about him, but I don’t do that frequently. I’m just too self-absorbed to do that. I mean, after all, my blog is all about ME, right?

  27. On September 20th, 2009 at 11:17 am Calliope Says:

    dude. I have been missing out on posts! My google reader doesn’t seem to show your new posts anymore. Is it me???
    As for comment love- you are the Queen.

  28. On September 20th, 2009 at 11:19 am Kori Says:

    I have nothing of use to add; I mean, I have been blogging for coming up on three years and I still only get about 20 regular commenters; and I am still thrilled, but it takes a lot of hard work AND patience to build up any kind of a readersip. Also, I wll add here that just because they aren’t commenting doesn’t mean they are not READING, which for me is the point. I want people to read my words, even if they don’t comment. Maybe some days there is nothing to say, or maybe they just like to lurk, and that’s fine. Every once in awhile I write about something that strikes a note and they come out of the woodowrk, but mostly not. So i guess the REAL advice is that if it truly matters how many people READ, she should set up a stat-counter or analytics or something. When I moved to wordpress from blogger, I never enabled my stat-counter because I started writing for the readers and not myself, but it is really important for some people.

    Hm. Right, I REALLY have nothing to say.

  29. On September 20th, 2009 at 11:50 am Dora Says:

    “He does have a brother…”

    OOOOOH!!! Do you think he’d be interested in a 46 year old, single preggo? (BTW, everyone says I look about 10 years younger than I actually am.)


  30. On September 20th, 2009 at 1:45 pm Nicole Says:

    Awesome questions and responses! I am going to send the link to this post to my husband . . . he is constantly dropping the hint that he would love it if I wrote a book (or something equally payable), but doesn’t quite get that that takes time – a lot of time. And like The Daver, he likes that I blog because it cuts down on my need to tell him EVERYTHING. (He would probably think differently if he actually read my blog . . .)

  31. On September 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm Mama Bee Says:

    You are SO good at comments! I’m always so excited to see what you are going to say on my blog and yet I suck some serious monkey balls when it comes to commenting on other people’s blogs.

    I think I’m convinced that I have to come up with the funniest and most witty comment ever or somehow the Internets will ban me and then I will have to crawl in to a dark hole and die because what else is there to live for besides my laptop?

    Well, I guess I’d still have my TiVo.

    And my family, but ::shrug::

  32. On September 20th, 2009 at 3:10 pm Jane Lively Says:

    Did you ever know that you’re my hero, Aunt Becky?

    Us gals over at FourJugs started a blog 1) as an outlet to get us to get one of us of facebook so much, and 2) to create a shared project that would be so much effing fun we’d need to wear Depends after all the laughter. And thus far, we’ve been a success. But look at our 1-2 business model. Hard not to achieve our oh-so-lofty goals. We still consider ourselves to be blogging plebes (no hazing, please), and do have a lot to learn. So many blogs to comment on, so little time.

  33. On September 20th, 2009 at 3:37 pm Mwa Says:

    You are fabulous! (I’m doing a little cheerleeder dance with pompoms for you – Go Becky!)

  34. On September 20th, 2009 at 3:46 pm Becca Says:

    I have a few commentors which makes me thrillled!!! I never actually thought anyone would read my pointless drivel, so the fact that I have three followers is enough to put me over the moon.

    The other thing is, how did you get the Daver to be ok with pictures and the like? I can’t get C to let me put up pics of any of us (except me), no matter what I do. I don’t even think she’ll let me put up pics of the dogs until she can fix the camera so there is writing imbedded in the pics. How can I get her to calm the hell down already??

  35. On September 20th, 2009 at 4:23 pm Jeni Says:

    Thanks so much for sharing your tips on blogging. I am still a relatively new blogger, and absolutely love it. Although, getting visitors isn’t really my primary goal. I’m more in it to give myself a place where I can just be me and talk about whatever is on my mind at the time. It was nice to hear ways to make your blog better, or at least more appealing. πŸ™‚

  36. On September 20th, 2009 at 4:24 pm Krissa Says:

    I think developing a style is important too, something I really am still trying to do. But I feel like it’s coming along…

  37. On September 20th, 2009 at 5:54 pm Cookie Says:

    I’m still a newbie when it comes to blogging, but I learned fast about the comments!
    Great blog!

  38. On September 20th, 2009 at 5:20 pm TeDiouS Says:

    I am very new to blogging, and was so proud, Aunt Becky, when you were the first person to comment on my blog, AND the first person to follow it who was not my fiance. Who doesn’t count. Or…DOES….but doesn’t.

    My Guy is also the one who convinced me to start the blog in the first place. He seems to think I have a lot of interesting things to say, and that I need an outlet for all the stress of trying to get a Visa to go live with him across the world. And I guess maybe I do sometimes have interesting things to say. The problem for me has been learning how to actually get those things written down effectively in a way that I am willing to share with the world. Journal entries and such are no problem for me…but I always feel the need to step back a bit when writing for the consumption of the internet. Generally, I allow myself too much distance, and totally lose any impetus to write on the subject at hand. I realize I need to become braver, let myself share more, be more spontaneous and less cautious. It would certainly help my post count, though I am striving to become better at that. Because I know myself I am more likely to stick with a blogger who posts regularly, if not necessarily every day.

    As for My Guy allowing me to write about him…he actively encourages it. Keeps telling me I can use the blog to vent about him if I need to. Trouble is, he is one of the good ones, and never does anything I need to vent over. Like, ever. Maybe that will change once we actually live in the same country…

    You think?

  39. On September 20th, 2009 at 5:27 pm kbreints Says:

    You are my Hero…. πŸ™‚

  40. On September 20th, 2009 at 6:29 pm Mommy on the Spot Says:

    Hi! I am pretty new to bloggering, too, and found your advice very helpful. One thing that has helped me out is to plug my blog on facebook. It’s only helpful if you don’t want to be anonymous.

    I have a follow up question: Is it alright to have the same blog at different places? For example, mine is set up at blogger, but I also want to post it at blogher and maybe wordpress. Any thoughts?

    And anytime you want to check out my blog, I’d be honored!

  41. On September 20th, 2009 at 6:32 pm Mama Cas Says:

    I’m pretty new to all of this, so I can’t imagine what I’d have to offer here. I’m trying to just remember that there can be consequences to what I write. If I happen to write about someone in my life being a complete asshole, it just might come back to bite me in the backside. So far, I’m trying to think in terms of, “Would this offend my mother? Or deeply hurt another person’s feelings?” Down the line, that line of thinking might change. Who knows.

    Hubs thinks blogs are for dorks, but he happens to be married to Queen Dork and he loves my writing. Honestly, when I’m writing, I’m writing to him. He’s my target audience….the rest is icing on the cake.

  42. On September 20th, 2009 at 6:39 pm Bluebird Says:

    I’m fairly certain that I first fell in love with you sometime around that first “how to” post about blogging. Someone else I read linked to it, and I read it, and was just like. . .


    Much love, Aunt Becky, much love.

  43. On September 20th, 2009 at 8:28 pm Stesha Says:

    Comment until you fingers fall off and then comment with your feet.

    Hugs and Mocha,

  44. On September 20th, 2009 at 8:29 pm Stesha Says:

    I meant “your.” See and extra comment!

    Hugs and Mocha,

  45. On September 20th, 2009 at 7:43 pm Aunt Juicebox Says:

    Ugh, my advice is to not even start a blog. It feels too much like rejection when nobody reads your posts.

  46. On September 20th, 2009 at 8:31 pm WebSavyMom Says:

    –>Just found your blog for the first time and it’s great. You’re right about the comment love…have to give it to receive it and even then it’s not a sure thing.


  47. On September 20th, 2009 at 10:27 pm Lauren Says:

    My husband doesn’t even read my blog πŸ™ Sometimes I think it’s because he doesn’t know how to read. Because husbands are stupid. And should fetch me a glass of water before I cry. Thank you.

  48. On September 20th, 2009 at 9:40 pm Liz Says:

    I am most entertained by snarky blogs. It’s why I can’t resist. You’ve even replaced cakewrecks for ‘blogs I check more frequently’.

    My poor blog is mostly a photoblog that took the place of a massive weekly spamming of friends and relatives with photos of my newborn first child. It continued until midway through a pregnancy with my second child when I realized there was an easier way to do it that wouldn’t clog up everyone’s inbox. I thought, “Gee, they’ll love me for it! Now they can look at my blog at their own leisure instead of having a full inbox or an hour to download!” Because, of course, we’re talking parents and grandparents who all have (had) barely functional internet service.

    Then I discovered that only my mother-in-law and some friends from a birth board ever read it. My mother-in-law would call me up and yell at me if I typed too many words. She only wants pictures.

    Now I only update when my ISP isn’t throttling me for exceeding my bandwidth. Stupid satellite internets.

  49. On September 20th, 2009 at 10:55 pm Maniacal Mom Says:

    The day isn’t complete without a little Aunt Becky. I resisted embracing social media…until a few months ago…and I am so glad I did! You are truly the highlight of my day and I can’t imagine a morning without a cup of coffee and Aunt Becky’s Blog.

  50. On September 21st, 2009 at 7:00 am SciFi Dad Says:

    Your mailman inspects cervices too?

  51. On September 21st, 2009 at 8:14 am TheOnlyGirl Says:

    Most timely and interesting. Thanks for the words of advice and the nuggets of wisdom! I was actually wondering about some of this stuff lately.

    I also find blogging therapeutic. Once I start typing it just keeps rolling out. Like those brilliant musicians that just sit down and play a masterpiece. Yeah. That’s me – a brilliant blogger typing a masterpiece. Sure.

  52. On September 21st, 2009 at 8:33 am positively present Says:

    I’m so glad I came across your blog via Drinking Diaries. After looking around a bit, I’m really impressed with your site and the blogging community you’ve developed here. Really great post too! πŸ™‚

  53. On September 21st, 2009 at 8:33 am positively present Says:

    PS — I also love the reference to Alice in Wonderland at the bottom of the page. I adore Alice in Wonderland, mostly because I feel sometimes as if I’m constantly going among mad people.

  54. On September 21st, 2009 at 8:51 am Dot Says:

    Do you have to keep commenting like crazy to KEEP readers? I’ve heard this and wonder if it’s true.

    The primary thing, I think, though I’m nowhere near as successful as the awesomely prolific Aunt Becky, is to think about what the reader wants, not what you want. If you want to write a diary, fine, but don’t pretend it’s a blog. It’s only a (successful) blog if what your diary says is of interest to others, and they aren’t going to be interested in the lack of raisins in your bran muffin this morning.

    Edit your work. Don’t use texting shortcuts constantly. srlsly. Quote one verse of a song, not six, one verse of a poem, not all of it. Choose the verse that most exactly makes your point. If you can’t find one, then you need to find a better song or poem. Remember that we’re all different and we don’t all love that song you played 50 times last night. πŸ˜‰

  55. On September 21st, 2009 at 9:39 am cara Says:

    I have to say I do blog about my husband, but I try to not bitch about him. Seriously I think people would get sick of hearing about how I felt like shanking my husband for thowing dishes in the sink 5 minutes after I load the dishwasher.

    That reminds me, I need to go blog. I think its been almost a week. YIKES!

  56. On September 21st, 2009 at 9:32 am The Expatresse Says:

    How about friends who make comments on your blog that are inappropriate or mention your spouse and kids by name? I figure I have chosen to put my personal life out there, but I refer to my spouse and kids by nicknames. If the time comes that they want to put their names out there, they can. Okay, anyone can probably figure out who I and they are with a little googling. But still. It drives me nuts. And they [these friends] sometimes make these L O N G comments that are better suited to an email to me.

    Drives me nuts.

  57. On September 21st, 2009 at 10:35 am Kristi Stevens Says:

    Great advice on the blogging question. When I first started my blog no one read it and I had no idea how to get them to read it. Then I discovered DivineCaroline which would take my work and every now and then other people read it. DC also provided me with other writer’s works to read since I didn’t have a clue where to find blogs that I might actually like to read. This is how I found Lindsay Ferrier at Suburban Turnmoil and I found Mommywantsvodka through a fantastic comment you made over there. So, the commenting thing – it works.

    Now on the Husband question, I have the same problem. My husband is HIGHLY uncomfortable with my writing – so I try very hard just not to write about him. I will occaisionally say he’s great or include a critical quote he made about me to make fun of myself, but that’s just about it. Bitching about him – no freaking way. I don’t need the rash of shit that would decend upon me if he read a rant I had written about him – and trust me, I have years of material on that topic that will just have to go to waste.


  58. On September 21st, 2009 at 9:46 am Vinomom Says:

    Commenting on other people’s blogs is absolutely the best way to increase your blogosphere. When I get a new commenter I can’t wait to click on their name and get to their blog and see what they’re all about.
    I don’t see how you keep up w/ 50 or 60 blogs though. Blogging can/does become sort of a job. There are times I feel guilty because so much time has gone by since I last posted. And I hate that feeling! But regardless of how often (or not) I post, I do have some loyal readers that will comment regardless.

  59. On September 21st, 2009 at 10:16 am Mrs Soup Says:


    I love you. I love your comments. I love your comments to comments. And I love coming in on Mondays to three new posts in my reader. It makes me a happy happy girl.

  60. On September 21st, 2009 at 11:18 am moonspun Says:

    I think that you did a great job answering the first question. But really, isn’t part of the answer WHO and WHAT defines great? I think my writing can be pretty darn great and that would still be true if no one read what I wrote. But if I am defining great by what others think is great…well…that’s different.
    And I am lucky to have a husband who supports my blogging, reads it faithfully and also occasionally comments. I’d not be able to do as passionately without his blessing. But that’s just me.

  61. On September 23rd, 2009 at 10:51 am Katie Says:

    Tip #11 – name your blog something that starts with A, because when people like myself find themselves totally busy and not able to get through all the posts in their reader, they start with A and sometimes it’s weeks before they even get to B, let alone M – or S!! Or Z!!

    Yes, I could go in reverse alphabetical order but that makes my OCD flare so technically, I can’t.

  62. On September 23rd, 2009 at 9:43 pm Megan Says:

    Um, Becky? You keep mentioning that Linux thing like we are all supposed to know what it is. But we don’t. Or at least I don’t and I’d like to think that I’m not the only one who doesn’t. And every time I read the word Linux on your blog, my mind immediately goes to Linus from Charlie Brown. WHAT THE HECK IS A LINUX?

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