Go Ask Aunt Becky
My daughter Sara met this girl Abby when they were only about 2 years old. My daughter fell in LOVE with Abby. So the mom and I exchanged numbers and for the past 3 years we’ve had about 3 or 4 play dates per year.
They are a super nice family and I love them, I wish we could get together more often….but busy times, busy people.
Anyway, I think I can sort of tell that Abby sort of thinks of Sara in a …’could take this friendship or leave this friendship anytime’ sort of way.
They are only 4 and 5 years old. When they are together they play really well. But it just makes me wonder. Why does my daughter LOVE this child so much and this child is sort of indifferent?
On the other side of that, another friend my daughter plays with, Cindy, loves my daughter Sara so very much. And of course Sara is a bit indifferent.
I just always wonder about that. Tell me what you think about it all?
(Names have been changed to make me feel clever)
I *love* changing names to make me feel clever, Gentle Reader! That’s full of the Awesome that you do too. Except I can never remember what I changed names TO, which is why I blog under my real name. Otherwise, you’d get wickedly confused when I called my son 74 different names in a single sentence. I’m clearly no genius.
But, tell you something you DIDN’T know, right?
ANYWAY.
Kids? Are fickle and weird creatures. That’s probably the shortest explanation I can give you. I’m sure a child psychologist could give you some more insight into WHY they’re weird and twitchy like that, but that’s just what they do.
Let me give you an example.
Ben (who is 8) has a best friend who lives in the neighborhood. All summer they were joined at the hip, and, in fact, they are in the same class in school. But they haven’t really played together since the end of August. Why? I HAVE NO IDEA. Ben has no idea.
Until this week, when they’re suddenly best of friends again.
No idea why.
So my answer is this: kids are weird and squirrelly.
Aunt Becky, I need help! I don’t know what to talk about to people anymore! I just had my second baby on Halloween, and it seems like since then, all I can think to talk about are REALLY inappropriate things. Like, the other day, I seriously considered changing my Facebook status to “Mommy’s nipple is super sore from nursing”. WTF?! I know this isn’t appropriate! My DAD reads my status!! But right now, I’m crazy enough, I’d probably tell him to his face. This is insane! Will this wear off? Is there a support group? People who don’t mind listening to this tmi minutia?
Thanks!!!
Oh Gentle Reader, I think that you’ve already FOUND that support group here. Or, at the very least, you’ve got a friend in Your Aunt Becky. Because you’re asking the same person who, just this week tweeted,
“My quest for honey uncrustables has been so far in a sad, sad word: fruitless. That so sounded like an exotic STD, didn’t it?”
and
“Sometimes, when I look like I’m staring into space, I’m really just imagining what I’d if I had a third arm.”
So, I suppose that what I’m saying is this: we’re all entertained by pointless TMI minutiae. Or, if we’re not, I have 4,668 people who follow me to point and laugh. Which is entirely possible. In fact, it’s likely.
If it bothers you, try picking up a newspaper and just reading the headlines so that you can talk a little bit about what’s going on in the world. Your brain will grow back once you start sleeping some more, I promise.
And I’m kind of a lost cause. But hey, I’ve got my Uncrustables, so I’m happy.
Dear My Band of Merry Pranksters,
I am in the middle of feverishly working on getting my new site design up and running and I need your help. What are your favorite posts that I’ve written? I know, I KNOW, I ask so much of you.
xoxo,
Your Aunt Becky
——————-
P.S. If’n you’re going to BlogHer and want to vote to see The Mouthy Housewives and Your Aunt Becky (Sherrick Harks) speak, today is THE LAST DAY to vote for our room. So, go here, vote and let the people speak! Or not. Whatever. I’ll still BE there. Maybe I’ll speak in my OWN room. BY MYSELF.
Sara’s mum- I’ve observed the love-obsession thing in quite a lot of kids over the years- it’s amazing how hard some of them fall for each other, and then just like Becky says, they’re suddenly over it. I think most of the times I’ve seen that kind of relationship, one of the kids is really obsessed with the other, and the other couldn’t care less.
My daughter is only 15 months old, but I’m already seeing the same thing happen with the kids in her daycare group. She’s one of those kids who finds everybody interesting- but nobody more interesting than anyone else, so she’s happy to go about her day doing her own independent thing without becoming very attached to any other kid. And this “Miss Independent” approach seems to make her super-attractive to all the other kids- a couple of them follow her like little flies, wanting to be wherever she is, wanting to do whatever she does- it’s amazing.
In short, I think that (just like in adults) there are different personality types in kids, and that some personalities are magnetically attracted to others. I’ve noticed that being confident and happy in yourself seems to be a high commodity in kid-land- which I guess is actually just the same for adults, though we don’t tend to go googly-puppy-love all over each other when we get a girl-crush 🙂
just as i read this post the ambien started kicking in. and i wanted to speak on the little kid dynamic too! woo fading fast though…getting loopy…this is kinda fun! too bad my husband isn’t awake so we could find out what tiger woods was talking about!
I’ve often wondered from an evolutionary standpoint why we mothers haven’t developed a third arm yet? Surely it must be coming any day now.
As for your posts, they’re all my favorites. Not very helpful, huh? I could not choose one fave just as I could not choose one favorite child. Wait, that’s a lie. I totally have a favorite kid. But I love all your posts with fondness (though I often snort coffee out of my nose while reading them). Can’t wait to see the new design!
A few days ago my oldest said to me “Mommy, I have a new best friend!” The rest of the conversation reminded me why I try not to volunteer in the classrooms too often. I spend a whole lot of time going WTF?
Me: oh yeah, what’s his name?
LJ: Dunno.
Me: OK? What does he like to do?
LJ: Dunno.
Me: Is he in your class?
LJ: Kinda.
Me:….
Me: ….
Me: Well, I’m happy for you! I hope y’all have a great time at school!
Not only have I run out of words, I’ve also picked up Chickpea from school by now (different schools) and I’m now having this conversation:
Chickpea: MOMMY, TODAY WAS THE BEST DAY EEEEVER!
Me: Oh yeah, why?
Chickpea: You remember that girl that slapped me last week? She’s totally my best friend now and her hair is so pretty and we played at gym and I told her that my daddy has one eye that’s bigger than the other and my mommy only works to take care of us and wears hats.
Me: So how did school go?
Chickpea: IT WAS THE BEST DAY EVER!!!! We went to art and made crafts and then we sang songs in Spanish and then in PE we rode these little scooter things and did a relay race.
Kids are insane. That’s all I’ve really come to understand. They have no logic and no method and no linear thinking pattern. They’re just nuts!
Bwahahaha! And EXACTLY. I stopped trying to figure out my children YEARS ago. They make no sense at all.
Becky, I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago (my daughter has it on her blogroll). So I’ve read mostly your newer posts. I have skipped around a bit and read a few of your earlier posts.
This probably isn’t helpful but I like the whole mix. You have a very warm and readable style. You’re a fun and interesting read. Your warmth, humor, and candor is what draws people in. You’ve had more serious posts about your beautiful daughter, funny/cute ones about your boys, and completely random hilarious topics about about everything that most of us can relate to.
I like them all. ; )
Aww, thank you! I love you more and more and more every day.
I really enjoyed the post about your college outing in almost drag…but that may or may not be the result of my drag queen obsession. I’ll never have calves that could compare. *sigh*
Dude. I’ll never be as hot as a man in drag. EVER. SO SAD.
I guess we could all learn a thing or two from kids.
If things don’t work out, they just move on.
We tend to stress, analyze and rehash everything!
My favorite is the one where you told me how much you loved me. Oh wait…
That one is coming, I swear.
Thankfully boys grow out of fickle much earlier than girls do and holy cow brace yourself for those teenage years when fickle becomes a really long ride on a merry-go-round, only not so merry.
Favorite posts Music has soothed the savage child and What do you call a fish with no eyes.
I’ll add them to the list! Thanks!
Honestly, I like the whole mish-mash of what is posted here. Your posts about Mimi just make me melt and your smart ass posts always make me laugh. Just don’t change!
BTW, I’m going to BlogHer…can’t wait to meet you.
Dude. I just squeed around the room! AWESOME!
ButtSex check when you had to go to the bank and get it straightened out…..
Your cooking experiments….the Cake thing comes to mind….recently done………….
There are tons of favorites…I’ll need to think more about this…..ask this question again sometime soon
Ah yes, humiliating Pashmina was VERY awesome.
having watched my daughter go through friends(as both the dumper and the dumpee)like you go through uncrustables, i don’t get it either. i just want her to find one bff who she can trust like a sister and tell her everything and anything. and i want them to go through life and grow old together. wishful thinking i guess.
i love all of your posts obvs. but i’m with rebecca butt sex and the cake thing were hilarious. and i love the new line of greeting cards.
Aw, thanks. The greeting cards are fabulously fun to make. I just need a supplier of artwork. Unlicensed art is hard to find.
Best post for me is “They call him the king of the pumpkins.” But I don’t want to talk about it, because it makes my eyes runny.
I love that one too. A lot.
Yea, that whole kid/friendship thing is weird. One minute lil m talks about someone all the time and the next she barely remembers who they are. I like to think she is just filling her brain with other useful information, but that’s probably just wishful thinking. Maybe it’s a matter of energy…who knows?
I’m pretty sure kids are just weird and twitchy. I remember being weird and twitchy. Which was, you know, this morning.
You are my new girl crush. I only discovered this blog recently. Come to Australia. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease.
Oh, yes, Butt Sex Check is a must, along with the cake and Thai food experiments. Letters to your TV husbands also rank high on the list of comedy gold. For sheer emotional power, any of the posts re: Mimi’s diagnosis and how it’s changed you, especially the Girl with Curls Like A Halo. (It’s the freakin’ allergies, dammit!)
Kids are little fuckers when it comes to friends. The summer before seventh grade I became friends with two girls that lived on the next street. We spent every single day together. One of the girls was new in town and we were her first friends. Once school started they ditched me. And one of them stole a pair of my shoes. Those skanks.
Kids are weird about friends. Even my 3 year old will come home one day saying how Tarson is his best friend and Legon is mean and then swaps them the next week.
I think it is a case of too much intensity from the child in love. When my baby was 5 she started a Hip Hop class and made a friend in the first class. The second class she rushed up to her new friend and enveloped her in a bear hug…I could see the other girl thinking ‘get her off’! For the rest of the class she shunned my girl who was heart broken. We had a long chat about coming on too strong and in the next class my daughter made sure she kept her distance and danced with other kids in the class. Sure enough she became friends again with the first little girl, with less pressure on that child.
So, I’m completely behind the times on this post, but for the questioner with the mommy-tmi syndrome? I’m not a mommy, but I sit with a new mommy (ok, it’s her third, but this one is new now), and *more than one* mommy has come in to talk about breastfeeding and childbirth and the rest of that fun. Perhaps you should know more people in the medical community or military at large, because that’s where I work… a military clinic. Everyone’s happy to talk about falling asleep on ginormous industrial breast pumps and having their father walk in on that… 🙂 If it helps…
And that’s full of the awesome. Nothing wrong with that.