Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Friday Is (Sometimes) For Favorites


Even I realize that my blog has gotten somewhat Gloom and Doom in the past couple of months, and that’s something that bothers me quite a bit. Although I may appear to wear thick liquid eyeliner and listen to The Cure while weeping about my past loves (or something), it’s really not who I am. Shock to the ole system, I know, I know.

But I was thinking that if Oprah can have a “Favorites” show, I can occasionally showcase my own favorite things. Because my blog isn’t self-indulgent enough, right?

1) Burberry. Now, I love the Burberry plaid so much that I might want to wrap myself in it and get married to the pattern. I was fortunate enough to have this Christmas be the Christmas of Plaid, so I’m frequently able to display JUST how I feel about Burberry. In the wintertime. In the summer? Probably not so much.

2) Vinegar. So, I don’t JUST drive The Daver insane while I’m incubating baby sausages, I tend to spread out the love over the course of, well, our lifetime, and as such, I frequently have cravings. Often they involve copious amounts of plain, cheap-ass, vinegar (did you know that they make DESIGNER vinegar? I HAD NO IDEA), which I sometimes maybe a little I’m not saying for sure…Okay, I drink it plain sometimes. There. HAPPY NOW?

3) Pedicures. I’m not much of a fan of such things as going to the spa or even getting my hairs did, but I do enjoy a good old fashioned pedicure given to me by someone who is simultaneously rude without speaking a lick of English. Did I say I loved that part? Because that’s a lie.

But I *do* like paying someone else to take care of the monstrosity that is my feet in the summertime. I’ve been trying to make it a monthly habit to go and get one, just me and my trash-tastic magazines, but I’ve been somewhat lax since my foot was hurt. It’s my birthday weekend–why yes, I spread my birthday into weeks ahead of time. Dave adores it–and maybe that’s what I’ll do.

Anyone wanna come with?

4) Purified Water. St. Charles water is notoriously disgusting, but I’ve put up with it and made do for years, adding lemon juice or lots of ice to make it more palatable, but these days, I cannot stomach the flavor. Yeah, go ahead, laugh at me: I don’t like the flavor of my tap water.


So I found a great alternative: Jugs ‘o’ Water! Who knew it could be so tasty and delicious?

5) My Birthday Weekend. I was so worried that I’d spend my birthday weekend sitting around and feeling sorry for myself (okay, okay, attached to the cross) because no one remembered it. And by “no one” I mean “The Daver” who is terrible, TERRIBLE about these sorts of things.

But with the help of my enterprising sister-in-law, a pilgrimage has been planned. A pilgrimage that involves both “tapas” and “omlettes.” As you might imagine, this makes me very, very pleased.

Now if only I could have birthday creme bruilee rather than birthday cake, I’d be one happy fat bitch.

6. Hilarious Television Reenactments. Especially those on Crime Shows or Ghost shows. Because they often put “reenactment” on the bottom, JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN’T AWARE THAT THERE WAS NOT A CAMERA CREW THERE WHILE SOMEONE WAS MURDERED.

All right, my party people, tell your Aunt Becky what some of your favorite things are.

posted under Cheaper Than Rehab
48 Comments to

“Friday Is (Sometimes) For Favorites”

  1. On July 11th, 2008 at 12:22 pm giggleblue Says:

    grocery stores.

    cupcakes from sprinkles.

    book stores.


  2. On July 11th, 2008 at 12:26 pm -Seraphimred- Says:

    My husband. (ok I’m in a sappy mood…bite me.)

    ben and jerrys willie nelsons peach cobbler ice cream. cause I’m a fatass.


    my wii! honestly. get one. its cheaper than crack and just as addictive.

    my doggy.

  3. On July 11th, 2008 at 12:35 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    Wait… you drink vinegar?

    OK, there’s nothing I can say to follow that up.

  4. On July 11th, 2008 at 12:37 pm Wishing4One Says:

    – A good pedicure, by an english speaking person or not, it doesn’t matter to me. Wait, no english IS better.

    – Great comments on my blog left by yummy bloggers

    – That first cup of coffee when I wake up

    – my i.pod classic

    – lots of other lame shayt too, won’t bore you.

  5. On July 11th, 2008 at 12:44 pm Karen Says:

    Rice Pudding

    Marathons of any tv show. Doesn’t matter which show really.

    Cheap white win in a plastic cup packed with ice.

  6. On July 11th, 2008 at 12:52 pm andria Says:

    I am going to link this to my blog. Sometime. I’m all out of writing ideas. I also like the burberry, but I have none, and vinegar is most awesome. You must get to Wendys and get their chili seasoning, it’s just spicy vinegar. Very good.

  7. On July 11th, 2008 at 12:55 pm Maria Says:

    Sometimes my mom steals me for Vietnamese pedicures when my son’s sleeping and someone is there to watch him. I always feel like such a supreme asshole. But then I get shiny toenails, which is cool because I have manhands from biting my fingernails since i was like, 3. So it’s nice for some part of me to be polished.

    What do you do with vinegar? I like pickles, moreso at the moment which annoys me. I don’t want to be a pregnancy-food-stereotype. BUT THEY ARE SO GOOD. I also like red wine vinegar on freshly sauteed spinach. To the point that it hurts your mouth.

    Tapas. Tapas are porn for my belly. I could eat tapas for hours on end. Preferably with Sangria.

    Also, cheese. Cheese is love.

  8. On July 11th, 2008 at 12:58 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    Mmmmm….music being played by friends I love in my clean, clean very old house which I also love.

    Having martinis and eating gazpacho from the garden followed by fresh peach sorbet that my daughter made. With my friends. Who play the music. In my clean house.

    Knowing I’m about to take a nap in my clean, clean house.

    Could life be any more perfect?

  9. On July 11th, 2008 at 1:05 pm theramblinghousewife Says:


    I’ve never had one, but I so desire one.

    If I got one, today and died tomorrow—I’d die a happy soul! 🙂

    Like, seriously.

  10. On July 11th, 2008 at 1:36 pm Candid Engineer Says:

    Your body must be deficient in acid or something and is begging you for some sweet, sweet vinegar. I enjoy vinegar on french fries, but that’s about it.

    My favorite things include:
    Macaroni and cheese
    J. Crew

  11. On July 11th, 2008 at 1:47 pm Kyddryn Says:

    Plaid makes my ass look twice as wide (from fifty to one-hundred acres in one fell swoop), so no plain for me. I do like a nicely draped kilt, though.

    Did you know there’s champagne vinegar? Yes, there is. It costs a second mortgage, but oh, my…

    Mmm…pedicure… Foot massage, leg massage, rude comments about my prickly getaway sticks in a language I don’t speak, massage chair…what’s not to love? Oh, wait – those cost money, don’t they?

    My grocery store had a water-filler-upper thingie – you bring containers of any size and fill ’em up, pay by the…erm…gallon? Quart? I have no idea, but it’s cheaper than regular bottled water, and it’s clean. I have a reverse osmosis system, because I am THAT invested in what I drink.

    Hippo Birdie two ewe
    Hippo Birdie two ewe
    Hippo Birdie deer ewe
    Hippo Birdie two ewe!!

    Reenactments are hi-larious! But don’t tell those Civil War guys that – they might make you eat some hardtack.

    Don’t ask an Aquarius for a favorite anything – it confuses us. We’re supposed to like one thing above any other? What? Why? We love them all!

    I do hope your birthday is faboo!

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  12. On July 11th, 2008 at 2:12 pm DOC Says:

    -Fall Sunday afternoons with Carolina Panther Football games on HDTV with at least 6 beers and my wife’s fabulous chili
    -Jimmy Buffett concerts live. I listen to EVERY SINGLE ONE! (eat your heart out or get a Sirius sat radio)
    -Making people giggle by giving them fun stuff on my blog.
    -Hearing my son’s very primitive 13 month old english saying “Hi dad”
    -My seat on the couch… I am foverer having to shoo the dog out of it (he tries to sit there just for spite)
    -BJs Wholesale (I should have invented it)
    -Harry Potter books (call me whatever you want but I loved them and I still think that maybe she will write some more) I will probably read all 7 of them again in August, thats my new tradition
    -Oh and my little routines… OCD talking here.
    there are more but I have bored Aunt Becky and the internet enough for one afternoon.

  13. On July 11th, 2008 at 2:12 pm Lola Says:

    Happy birthday, Mama!

    My favorite things include:

    Red wine, lots and lots of red wine.

    Thai food. No, I don’t understand the vinegar straight thing either. I love it, but I need another ingredient involved.

    Pirate’s Booty is my favorite snack that I can’t stop eating.

    My iPod.

    Showtime. It really is the best TV, very naughty TV.

    My new red swim dress. It hides most of my hideousness and yet is kinda sexy.

    My animals.

    My home.

  14. On July 11th, 2008 at 2:20 pm Jenn Says:

    Vinegar? That is fucking disgusting. Seriously, woman! I thought it was bad enough that I like ketchup on vanilla ice cream. Yeesh.

    I don’t like the taste of tap water either. Kent’s always like, “How can you not like the taste? It doesn’t even HAVE a taste!” Foolish people.

    I’m the one who forgets my birthday, haha. And our anniversary. Kent ALWAYS remembers, it’s a little bit embarrassing – for both of us. 🙂

    You’re my favorite thing. 😉

    I’ll do an entry like this soon. Because I can. Because I luuuurve you enough to dedicate an entire entry to you. And because you know I want to be just like you. Don’t you?

  15. On July 11th, 2008 at 2:39 pm gingermagnolia Says:

    Happy birthday!!!

    I’m with you…tap water is flat nasty.

    I love:

    The warmth of the sun
    The feeling of cool grass under your feet
    Pedicures ROCK! (If you can get over the fact that the people at the salon are probably talking about you in a language you can’t understand)

  16. On July 11th, 2008 at 2:46 pm vered Says:


    Pedicures too, but most of all massages. 🙂

  17. On July 11th, 2008 at 3:22 pm heather Says:

    Birthdays, birthday weekends, birthday months, anything birthday. You know I’m a birthday whore. Besides that, I love me some caffeine, baby smiles, baby laughter, and baby slumber. And since you admitted that you just drink plain vinegar, I will admit that sometimes, I just eat ice tea mix powder. Yeah. Weeeeerd.

  18. On July 11th, 2008 at 3:25 pm A Soldiers Girl Says:

    You drink vinegar??? Oh my….. 🙂

    I love me some pedi’s, too! Nothin like having your feet rubbed on by a complete stranger.

    let’s see, some of my other favorites:

    * Lemons
    * Long drives (except thru the woods)
    * Anything chocolate
    * Massages
    * Sleeping in
    * Any crime show on TV

  19. On July 11th, 2008 at 3:42 pm Heather Says:

    Apparently, your readers have an enormous amount in common with ME! Because it’s all about me. Right?

    I have to second Candid Engineer on the JCrew. Add raise her an Anthropologie.

    Seraphimred — I blogged this week about Willie Nelson’s Country Peach Cobbler (Ben and Jerry’s). If I don’t have some EVERYDAY, it gets ugly. Have you mentioned it here before? Perhaps — this was where I first heard of it, and now it rules my life. My gym thanks you.


    I’m also recently addicted to summer crime tv. Especially with the dramatic reporter voice overs. Da-dah…

    I do not like foot massages. Massage anything else, but not the feet. *shudder*

    Broccoli. I don’t know why. I steam and eat like 5 lbs a week.


  20. On July 11th, 2008 at 3:52 pm kc Says:

    Is the vinegar drinking a pregnancy thing or do you do this when you are not knocked up? I am suddenly confused and scared.

    My fave things:
    My Scooter
    My dog
    My amazing friends and family
    Live music
    Gummy bears
    Expensive, snob beer
    Sleeping during thunderstorms
    My disgustingly large TV
    Coffee with Vanilla soy milk
    My apartment
    My Aunt Becky

    I just read over my list and came to the determination that I am a man. Sex then baseball on a huge TV is seriously my heaven.

  21. On July 11th, 2008 at 3:53 pm PiquantMolly Says:

    Darling, never fear. I will protect you from the vinegar-haters. I love vinegar with a passion I save for very few potables. Delicious, delicious fermentation! I have been known to take swigs from the ol’ bottle now and then, I’ll admit it. I’m the type of person who only eats salad because of the amazing vinaigrettes I can douse them with. And balsamic vinegar? God, don’t get me started, you’ll have to start a new blog because this comment will get too long.

    I like the Burberry scent. A lovely musky vanilla.

    Also crushing on: any kind of limeade (especially ginger), havarti cheese, T-Tapp, freshly-flossed teeth, peppermint tea.

  22. On July 11th, 2008 at 4:09 pm docgrumbles Says:

    I love it when the reenactments feature actors that look nothing like the real person being interviewed or doing the narration. When it says “reenactment,” I want to shout, “No! I though the victim went through extensive plastic surgery since the incident!”

  23. On July 11th, 2008 at 4:12 pm trish Says:

    Huh. I thought when I clicked over from my reader I would find far stranger things listed in the comments. So I say this knowing that no one actually knows me who will read this so there’s no point in being embarassed.

    One of my favorite things is when my husband says something I don’t like and when he’s done talking I fart and say, And that’s what I think about that.

  24. On July 11th, 2008 at 4:17 pm Susan Says:

    I’m a vinegar lover, too! I can eat the malt vinegar from that nasty pirate’s fast food place until I have sores on my tongue. TMI? And balsamic vinegar? With an Arkansas tomato, fresh basil and fresh mozzarella? Good stuff! Not only does tap water have a taste, (mine is actually good), but when I was pregnant I could smell it everytime it came out of the tap – in the bathroom, kitchen, even running through the refrigerator. Pure torture.

    I also love chardonnay, college football and white cake with champagne followed by a carb coma nap.

  25. On July 11th, 2008 at 4:37 pm Coco Says:

    In no particular order, an odd list of favorites:

    New toenail clippers
    Rainier cherries (in season)
    Viggo Mortensen
    Getting ID’d when I buy alcohol (So the cashier doing it nowadays is normally legally blind, over 75, and/or not looking closely at me? So what?)
    “Dr G. : Medical Examiner”
    Really cold Pinot Grigio

    Of course, I must close by adding the obligatory note that hub and the kids are at the top, always, of every list. Because I am a suckah.

  26. On July 11th, 2008 at 5:22 pm swirl girl Says:

    The first bite of watermelon of the summer (not a chunk, but the triangle point of the wedge.

    Freshly washed newborn baby’s heads

    cheetos, crunchy preferrably

  27. On July 11th, 2008 at 6:46 pm mandy Says:

    You’re so funny, sometimes it hurts me.


    Happy Birthday, I hope it’s fantastic and wonderful filled with butterflies and ponies..and vinigar-just for you.
    Eat LOTS of carbs, for ME. Tell me how good it was. No, don’t.

    My favorite thing right now, and I just totally wrote this on someone else’s blog when they asked…is sitting in my fav comfy seat (MY seat) with Madison on my left knee and Drew on my right…just sniffin their heads and kissing them. I got to do it tonight for like 30 minutes and it was like salve to my spirit.

    I love the look after a pedi-but I HATE people touching my feet, they are so ticklish.

    I don’t know what else, but HAPPY B-DAY!

  28. On July 11th, 2008 at 6:57 pm Kymberli Says:

    Before I forget (because I have short term memory like that), happy birthday!

    The reenactments part cracked me up. Shows that are based entirely on cheesy reenactments irritate the snot out of me.

    Kym’s favorites be:

    1. commercials – the funny ones. I could watch funny commercials all day. (What the french, toast? Who are you callin’ a cootie queen, you LINT-licker?)

    2. Berry Cap’n Crunch with chocolate milk, not white. I’m an equal opportunity milk drinker.

    3. T-shirts with stupid things on them.

    4. Cherry cheesecake

    5. sweatpants and thick socks (worn with said stupid t-shirts)

    6. Celestial Seasons Tension Tamer tea.

  29. On July 11th, 2008 at 7:16 pm birdpress Says:

    I also want to know if the vinegar is a pregnancy thing or a normal Aunt Becky thing! And who was it… Jenn? Ketchup on vanilla ice cream? Blech! I do like balsamic vinegar though.

    Happy birthday!!! 😀

    My favorite things of course include clean, sweet-smelling, fluff-dried, freshly-groomed dogs!

    Propel kiwi-strawberry “fit water” packets added to water from that filter that screws onto the tap.

    Maxwell House’s flavored coffee in vanilla and hazelnut.

    Newspaper delivery.


  30. On July 11th, 2008 at 7:42 pm honeywine Says:

    Straight vinegar? Seriously? Although I can’t say much, I used to drink the juice off the pickles (salt + vinegar yum), but that’s because Drs. are idiots and try to keep you on diuretics forever.

    Right now, I’m wondering if there is any pleasure left in my life. I remember. It’s this. Blogging is my very much frivolous (in they eyes of the SOBs around here anyhow) pleasure. I call it surviving until I can find enough time to write more fiction.

  31. On July 11th, 2008 at 7:55 pm baseballmom Says:

    Oh my GOD, vinegar…I love it. And especially rice vinegar, and sesame oil on top ramen. I love pedicures too, and getting my eyebrows done, good books, bookstores, cheesecake, smelling the coffee brewing in the morning, and cool summer mornings. Sprinklers, salsa sun chips, horseradish/wasabi, salt and vinegar chips, reality tv, special K, popcorn rice cakes, and PEANUT BUTTER, dogs, horses, and my kiddos. Sorry, stream of consciousness thing going on there…

  32. On July 11th, 2008 at 8:24 pm Sara Says:

    Sweet potato casserole.
    My chaise lounge.
    Waking up with nothing to do.
    Being outside with my kids watching them play.

    I’m corny and easy to please!

    The vinegar thing? I told the Hubs, and he said that that just makes you all kinds of awesome. He’s a vinegar freak too. I only like it as an astringent.

  33. On July 11th, 2008 at 9:28 pm heather Says:

    I love salt n vinegar chips. And for awhile I tried drinking cider vinegar mixed with water cuz it’s supposed to be good for your digestion. Well, it gave me heartburn.
    As for the water, I got a Brita pitcher and if the place caught on fire, that would be the first thing I grabbed.

    I love me family.
    I love me pets.
    I love me fabulous mattress.
    I love me comfy Disney tshirts.
    I love me some tapas. Damn, ya all know how to talk to a girl. Move over and gimme some pita.

  34. On July 11th, 2008 at 9:57 pm bri Says:

    Maybe this explains all the people in the world who don’t drink as much water as they should. Wes and I can never understand those people because we looooooove water. Love it. We use a Brita even though we have perfect, highly acclaimed NYC water. Seriously, NYC tap water is excellent on its own. But I like it perfecter than perfect and extremely cold.

    Favorites? Cookies. Cookies. Cookies full of cholesterol. Mmmmmm.

  35. On July 12th, 2008 at 2:41 pm The Milk Maid Says:


    sticking people with a 21 guage needle




    vodka, rum, and tequila (in that order)… which leads to

    you guessed it


    and tattoos.

  36. On July 12th, 2008 at 3:00 pm Jerseygirl89 Says:

    Happy Birthday – hope you get lots of vinegar. 🙂

    My favorite things (excluding my current pregnancy related obsessions, which will end in 16 weeks, not that I’m counting):

    Haribo Gummy bears (and only Haribo)
    Diet Pepsi
    lambic beer

  37. On July 12th, 2008 at 4:02 pm DrowseyMonkey Says:

    LOL – all fine things indeed 🙂

    Hey, you may be too young to remember this, but when “Unsolved Mysteries” first came on the air, there was a big uproar about whether or not the scenes were real “news” and sometimes the actors would get tracked down & thought of as being a criminal by everyday people who saw them out & about. Hence … they had to start putting on the screen that it wasn’t real, LOL. We were more naive back then.

  38. On July 12th, 2008 at 8:04 pm Amanda Says:

    Happy birthday!

    I’m in shock about the vinegar thing. I had no idea anyone in the world drank it!!! Something that nasty should at least get you drunk!!!

  39. On July 12th, 2008 at 9:07 pm magpie Says:

    hmm. i wouldn’t have pegged you for a plaid wearing vinegar drinker. fascinating.

  40. On July 13th, 2008 at 12:48 am chris Says:

    I’m not all the surprise that you drink vinegar…

    My favorite things…
    1) Mango smoothie or mango juice
    2) Old movies
    3) ESPN
    5) The Wild Thing With The Wifey

  41. On July 13th, 2008 at 10:53 am -Seraphimred- Says:

    I know I’m way late but I wanna make sure and say


  42. On July 13th, 2008 at 11:34 am Edward Says:

    Happy Birthday!! Don’t you just love being pg on your birthday? For the rest of your life you will say my 23rd (insert actual number) you know….when I was pregnant with baby sausagero. Aww yes I have atleast 5 birthdays like this lol!

    Ok my favorite things….um let me be real honest here:

    Good sound sleep or naps (something I have not gotten much of in 7 years since we have the little one’s are 6, 3 and 1 yrs old)

    Sex….just good hot sex anytime anywhere and anyway we feel like it. Perferably with some good porn.

    A good salad…a good salad can substitute when #1 and #2 are not possible. Oh and I perfer a restraunt salad. Somehow I can’t make my home salads and dressing taste like the restraunt salad.

    A good drink…either a stiff gin and tonic or a nice glass of red wine (perferably also before or after #2).

    good stimulating conversation perferably with my spouse Rick, and yes I like this anytime but this goes well with #4 and before or after #2 (but not during lol!).

  43. On July 13th, 2008 at 3:07 pm -Seraphimred- Says:

    I have a favorite I forgot to mention the last time I commented. (ok, ok I’m really bored…I’m not stalking you..honest I’m not.)

    Philosophy products. Oh my goodness. Heavenly! I’m currently obsessed with the grace lines. Its a body wash-shampoo combo, lotion, parfum, and body spray love.

    Amazing Grace, Pure Grace and Inner Grace. AG and IG are my absolute favorites!

    The first time I used Inner Grace my husband (then boyfriend) smelled it, and kept his nose in my neck for like a half hour straight.Its not overpowering or anything….I can’t stand those kinds of products!

  44. On July 13th, 2008 at 9:02 pm LAS Says:

    Next time you want a pedi – I’ll drive out and go with you!

    Oh, and I drink vinegar, and uh, I’m not pregnant. I have no excuse!

  45. On July 14th, 2008 at 12:18 am sara Says:

    I definitely have burberry and pedicures on my list as well! Hmm here’s a few more of my favorite things

    friends and family (corny I know)
    sunday mornings
    my scandinavian down pillow
    Grey goose martinis
    warm sandy beaches
    trips to Europe

  46. On July 14th, 2008 at 1:41 am chicory Says:

    a salad but ONLY if someone else makes it. Seriously, I won’t eat a salad that me or Klove makes, but a restaurant salad? BRING IT! Even if it only has things on it that we have at our home at a fraction of the price, it still tastes better.

    And I also hate the taste of city tap water. Must be from growing up on the untouched, unchlorinated, unfloridated deep well artisian water in my parent’s canyon. I’m permanently dehydrated because city water tastes like stale ass and yet I won’t buy water in earth-destroying bottles. You can only drink so much tea and iced tea to hide the flavor.

    I like sleep. Glorious sleep. And shaved long-hair black cats. The first few days after the shave when they’re all gray with black elbow-length gloves and hip-high boots and a full mane and little dipped tail.

  47. On July 14th, 2008 at 9:00 am tryingin2007 Says:

    hey! this was my idea. I’ve been doing friday pregnancy favorites for months now. I guess it’s only fair because I stole oprah’s idea.

    man, that oprah. she’s a clever one.

  48. On July 14th, 2008 at 7:19 pm Annie Says:

    reality TV


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