Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Fresh Ink


Today, Pranksters, rather than sit around on my ass, watching cats do wacky things, I had an appointment downtown to get my tattoo “worked on.” Some may say “finished,” but those motherfuckers would be wrong. My tattoo may never be finished.

In several blood-stained hours, my tattoo went from this:


To this:



Someone pass me the Vicodin. Then entertain me with your tattoo stories while massaging my feet.

posted under Aunt Becky Has VD
68 Comments to

“Fresh Ink”

  1. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:25 pm greengeekgirl Says:

    Really gorgeous!

  2. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:26 pm Joker_SATX Says:

    OMG! THAT! is fuckin beautiful!

  3. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:28 pm PBBDesigns Says:

    Wow! Awesome!!

  4. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:29 pm Caroline Says:

    Got my first tattoo at a very critical point in my life. Had been through a very difficult point in my life and had considered suicide at one time. Was unsure as to why God kept me alive, until I came across a passage in the Bible from the book of Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” At that moment I realized that even I didn’t understand what was going to happen in my life, a God much greater than me had a handle on things even when I didn’t.

    I wound up naming my son born 2 years later Jeremiah after his father left us when I was 20 wks pregnant.

  5. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:30 pm jlhpisces Says:

    that is gorgeous!!

  6. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:31 pm Katie G Says:

    Really awesome. I’d love to get a back tattoo. I have three small ones and want to get more, just not sure what I want or where I really want to get one. I’ve gotten all three of my tats in Maui, one for each trip we’ve taken there (it just worked out that way) and I’m going in September for my honey moon, so I feel like I HAVE to get another! Can’t commit to a design/location quite yet.

  7. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:34 pm Tiffany D. Says:

    I got my first tattoo the day I turned 18. My dad took me 🙂 He and my mother figured that since I was going to do it anyway they’d rather I go to someone they knew. I got the design my mother suggested, a dove, on my ankle.

    I got my second after my younger brother died. He used to call me Spartacus to bug me, so I got a roman gladiator helmet on my bicep.

  8. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:34 pm jess Says:

    That is one gnarly ass tattoo…its beautiful! And my tattoo stories are completely boring. My first I got right after I turned 18 (in this sceevy looking house, but it was legit) of a butterfly, to remind myself that change sucks but it usually turns out beautiful, and its about the size of a 50 cent piece, and I thought the tattoo guy was gonna kill me if I said ow one more time. The 2nd I only like bc my best friend from high school and I went on my 21st bday, right after we decided to get an apartment together, and got matching tattoos. Unfortunately we didn’t really know what to get so she picked out a stupid daisy and I don’t really like it. Before kids it was about the size of a dime…now its, ahem, about the size of a quarter…sexy. so there ya go, hope I helped you forget about your pain for a minute!

  9. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:38 pm Marie Says:

    I have a single tattoo. It’s only probably 2.5″ x 2.5″, but I think it’s pretty badass.

    1. I got it when I was 16.
    2. My GRANDMA had to sign for it
    3. It’s a biohazard symbol on my left bicep. I work in the food industry. >:)
    4. I earned it. Survived necrotising fasciitis, at a time when other people were losing limbs to it. I didn’t even scar… so I got this tattoo as my little war monument.

    YOU, though? Shit. YOU are badass. That’s got to hurt like mad. Vicodin chip cookies and Vicodinis?

  10. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:39 pm Anastazia Says:

    First off, That is beautiful! I have several tattoo’s 6 little konji on my noggin. An angel on my shoulder in memory of my mommy.(Yes, my mommy.) And on my left arm I have a dragon butterfly I created in memory of my twins that passed away from CF. The dragon part is for my son, and the butterfly part represents my daughter. I also have a lotus with a rising sun inside of it. Just to remind me to breathe, and enjoy the view in life. The next one is to honor my beautiful baby girl I just had!

  11. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:39 pm Karen Sugarpants Says:

    That is gorgeous!

  12. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:40 pm Kristin Says:

    OMG, absolutely, stunningly beautiful! I have been contemplating what to get done next.

  13. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:42 pm SmartOneKym Says:

    That is GORGEOUS. Mad props to you, because I just finally got my first tattoo Saturday and it is wussy compared to that piece of awesome on your back. I blogged about it here: I have Vicodin with some extra-credit pain meds in it. I’ll share.

  14. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:54 pm Melissa Says:

    I like it more every time you go!

  15. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:55 pm You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... Says:

    i have a tiny lightening bolt on the inside of my wrist. that was enough pain for me.

    you are brave.

  16. On July 20th, 2011 at 7:57 pm mommabird2345 Says:


  17. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:03 pm jeneria Says:

    I have 11 tattoos.

    The one that stands out the most in my mind (other than the first one which was done by a biker named Buckshot in Missoula, MT) is my 10 inch dragon that runs down my back. I had it done in Houston on a whim by a tattoo artist who visibly wore a handgun (this was right after Hurricane Katrina and Houston was flooding by “Katritians” as they called them and they were mostly gang members) and had a huge fight with his baby mama (well, his girlfriend the kid was someone else’s) and he did my tattoo, 10 inches by 5 inches full color, in under two hours. He was flying and he was pissed and it was the most pain I’d ever experienced from a tattoo. EYE OF THE TIGER!

  18. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:05 pm Megaboo Says:

    I LOVE it aunt Becky. It looks rigoddamndiculously awesome. The best part about being pasty is that colored tattoos look great. So what if you need sunglasses on to look at me outside without going blind. At least my tats are prettier than a fucking rainbow. Next tme someone makes you feel guilty for not being tan say that to them. Kick them in the cooter and run away!!!

  19. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:14 pm Jana A Says:

    Shit, that’s hot! Also reminds me I STILL have your fucking bra and shoes in my car. I’m a total slacker and HATE having to go to the post office. Tomorrow. I SWEAR I’ll go tomorrow.

  20. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:17 pm Anthony from CharismaticKid Says:

    I love tattoos on people, just not myself. I am always changing my mind about things. i would never want to regret something later on.

  21. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:27 pm Amy Says:

    I’m more awed that you seem to be topless outside. But the tattoo IS beauteous.

  22. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:28 pm Rebecca Says:

    You’r tattoo is incredible! I want one, but change my mind waaay too often to get one. If I do ever get one the idea that’s stuck with me the longest is a climbing frog on the inside of my wrist.

  23. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:36 pm marie Says:

    I got mine on my 29 and 364 day birthday. I’ve wanted one for a long time, but something representing my kids, but not too cheesy. Hubby said no way from the time we were 15, but hey, it’s my body. I set a weight-loss goal and was about 10 lbs from it and Hubby took me the day before my 30th. It was a surprise. I got all dressed up and he takes me to the tattoo parlor?? I practically had a panic attack…I wasn’t ready…the guy drew up a picture while we ate sushi (NOT in the same place!!) and I loved it so I went for it. Hubby also got one, which shocked me more than me getting my own. Mine is the celtic symbol for motherhood, two hearts intertwined unendingly. Your supposed to get dots for your kids, but I thought it messed with the flow.

  24. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:47 pm Kelli Says:

    OMG!!!!!! The tattoo is GORGEOUS!!! I have three tattoos (hearts on my foot, ‘shalom” in hebrew on my wrist, and shooting stars on my hip) and I am DYING to get another! I swear they are addicting! If my pitiful college-student funds allowed, I would def have more! I know some would say that it is not a good idea, as I got all three of my tattoos in less then a year, before I was 19 but they are all really important to me and I love them, but that is a whole other story..

    When I was getting the starts on my hip (my most recent), I made the really awesome choice to wear my very favorite shorts, not thinking that there would be ink and blood leaking out..not fun to explain to my mother (who did not know about the tattoo until after it was done)..another thing I did not think about was the fact that my taco would be on display for all to see..oh the awesome decisions that I make!!!

  25. On July 20th, 2011 at 8:52 pm MamaRobinJ Says:

    RIGHT. ON.

    I don’t have a tattoo because I’m a wuss like that. But I want to get one. Planning a specific one to celebrate kicking PPD’s ass.

  26. On July 20th, 2011 at 9:02 pm Christina Says:

    That looks amazing! I am so jealous!!! And mad props to standing the pain!

  27. On July 20th, 2011 at 9:13 pm A Field of Dreams Says:

    Ouch! but nice. I wish I had your balls…
    Loving the new blog look too!

  28. On July 20th, 2011 at 9:35 pm Lex Says:

    Your ink looks AMAZING!! And it’s an excuse to to take vicodin?! Double win!!

  29. On July 20th, 2011 at 9:48 pm Ms Dreamer Says:

    And this. This is why I fucking love you, Bex. Bitchin’ tat and some shmexy shoulders ya got there!

  30. On July 20th, 2011 at 10:37 pm Satan Says:

    fantastic ink, yo!
    of all the tattoos that i have (i have a major back piece bigger than yours), and i have many (9), nothing has ever hurt as much as my smallest tattoo. it stretches across my wrist, right on all the ouchy bones. Never. Again. it continually bleeds out; i’ve had it retouched 3 times and it’s still spotty! i think i’ve given up.

  31. On July 20th, 2011 at 11:14 pm Leeanna Says:

    Absofuckingly beautiful!!! I wish I had the balls to get a tattoo. I have this thing about pain and needles.
    I love the way you changed your blog. Now that’s what I really need to do.

  32. On July 20th, 2011 at 11:40 pm Joules Says:

    Holy wowsers, that is gorge! I have four, but they are small and simple. I love them all particularly the lotus on the top of my foot, but they def did not require the level of pain and time committment as yours.
    Oh, and I have quite a bit of vicodin left over from a knee surgery and was a nail tech in a former embodiment so am a pro at foot massage. Just sayin.

  33. On July 20th, 2011 at 11:44 pm Kelly Says:

    The colors are just gee-orgeous. Love it–and that was some serious EyeoftheMotherFuckin’Tiger, girl. I feel like I need Vicodin just LOOKING at it!

    My tattoo story I always tell as one of the two positive side effects of spinal cord injury: 1) superior concert seating and 2) painless tattoo application. My brother was getting work done in the next station and kept asking “still can’t feel anything, Kel?” Then he called me a bitch while I laughed. It was fantastic. For me.

  34. On July 21st, 2011 at 12:31 am Barefeet In The Kitchen Says:

    Your art is breathtaking. I love it! I’ve been dreaming/looking/planning for a tattoo for 4 years now. I’m so horrible at making purchases and permanent decisions though. My best friend jokes that I may never actually get one because I can’t find anything that I like enough to want it on me forever. The girl might be right. :-/

    Oh yeah, and I’m a totally chicken thinking about the pain as well. But I’m pretty sure I can get past that if I could just find the right art!

  35. On July 21st, 2011 at 2:19 am Sarcasm Goddess Says:

    Wow, that is amazing! I’m not a big tattoo person, but that is beautiful!

  36. On July 21st, 2011 at 5:46 am starle Says:

    That is the single best tattoo I have ever seen.
    Just wanted to leave a random comment, because I read you every day and I haven’t said HI in a while.
    I live in the UK, so I always have a fresh new Aunt Becky post waiting for me and my coffee. Thanks!

  37. On July 21st, 2011 at 6:47 am Barbara Says:

    Holy crap it’s gorgeous!

  38. On July 21st, 2011 at 7:29 am jess Says:

    I would just like to say that you’re…amazing.

    I’m still quaking just thinking about it.

    You rock, woman.

    And you are TOTALLY the coolest mom ever. Seriously.

  39. On July 21st, 2011 at 8:11 am Jasmine Says:

    Beautiful!!! My artist is really talented. Her name is Jennifer Bilig from She has been working on my sleeve… you know, if I ever stop being pregnant long enough.

  40. On July 21st, 2011 at 8:15 am Tasty's Big Butt Says:

    I was a tattoo judge for a couple of years. The coloring is well done! Vibrant!

  41. On July 21st, 2011 at 8:31 am Anna Says:

    I have a tattoo in an unfortunate spot – my lower back. (At the time, when dinos roamed, it was NOT called a tramp stamp!)(And, it’s actually my mid-back but back then it was low and scandalous.) It’s a sun and looked like it was crying blood for a while. Bad. Ass.

  42. On July 21st, 2011 at 9:00 am Auntie Dee Says:

    I have three all in the obvious boring places: shoulder, ankle and lower back tramp stamp but I NEED a partial sleeve when I can stop having to feed my children and can spare a few nickels it WILL happen.

  43. On July 21st, 2011 at 9:50 am Leah Says:

    Love. It. You rock for sitting still that long and enduring that pain. My one tattoo is the size of a quarter and I want another but am a big old pussy.

    Go have a drink (or 20) that should help.

  44. On July 21st, 2011 at 9:51 am Mario Rubio Says:

    Suck it up princess. You’ve now got a significant portion of your back tattooed. Yeah, you can acknowledge it hurts, but no more crying about it. You chose to have this done to yourself.


  45. On July 21st, 2011 at 10:06 am Triplezmom Says:

    After I got my 2nd tattoo -a small sunburst/moon combo with color – I swore I’d never get another colored tattoo again. OW. You are a goddess and your tat looks amazing. I think you deserve vicodin and vodka.

  46. On July 21st, 2011 at 10:08 am Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] Says:


  47. On July 21st, 2011 at 10:25 am Amy, LLA_Princess Says:

    this is awesome

  48. On July 21st, 2011 at 10:30 am Angie Uncovered Says:

    F——G LOVEEEEE This!!!

  49. On July 21st, 2011 at 10:39 am Pamela Gold Says:

    I’m addicted to tattoos. I have three but want at least 6 more. So far I have a celtic knot on my back that ties in a star/butterfly and my kid’s zodiac signs in it (got this one done in my kitchen by my friend’s tattoo artist husband), I have a seven pointed star on my left ankle (points: earth, air, fire, water, life, light, magick) at a great shop but the artists were all snobby and stuck up, and my latest which I got about a week ago is a Tim Burton inspired ladybug. It’s badass. The artist and I designed it together. It was by far my favorite tattoo experience yet.

    I think getting a tattoo feels like a really bad sunburn, over and over again. I love the feeling personally, it’s like a release. I’m already planning my next 2….

  50. On July 21st, 2011 at 10:53 am Skytimes Says:

    Fucking fabulous… I love it!!

    One time you complimented me on my badassness for my half-sleeve. I hand that back to you now… well deserved and with a side of eyeofthemotherfuckingtiger for the lower back.

    Technically, I have three tattoos. In my mind, I have tons more, but somehow my saved-up money miraculously turned into airplane tickets and months of traveling. Though when I got my first & smallest tattoo I was so nervous I forgot to eat during the whole day. I passed out after 5 minutes, just like that: face first down the chair. (A good advice if you want free bubbly, some sweets and heaps of embarrassment to come with the ink). These days I always arrive with a picnic hamper full of munchies…

    Hope the pain, ooze and itch will bugger off soon. It’s beautiful!

  51. On July 21st, 2011 at 11:34 am Emmy Lou Says:

    I’m one of those weird people who would never suit a tattoo, and that pains me more than ink-filled needles ever could 🙁 sad times for me! I could also never pick the “perfect” design because I change my mind more than Prince changes his name.
    I love my little brother’s ink though, every part of it has a sentimental meaning 🙂 I took some photos of them because they’re that awesome:
    I love the design you have, it’s so pretty!

  52. On July 21st, 2011 at 2:49 pm tracy aka @mamacreates Says:


    I got what I thought would be my last tattoo as my 29th bday gift to myself. I had a tattoo worked on to include some palm trees & a beach to represent my Nassau honeymoon. I wanted those palm trees….obsessed over those palm trees. My husband did the artwork , I endured the hour of feeling like I was being run through a meat tenderizer, and i loved the end result.

    Flash forward a few (ahem….several….) years, and I’m now obsessing over getting my daughter’s name & birthdate tattooed…… and filling out divorce paperwork.

    Life’s funny, no?

  53. On July 21st, 2011 at 4:43 pm Heli Says:

    Looks amazing!!!! I’m not sure I have the balls to do anything that cool but I did see someone at the Cubs game with a fake tattoo sleeves. Maybe I should do that until I get the guts! I love yours, I read some of the other blogs working up to this point and it just gets better and better!

  54. On July 21st, 2011 at 10:00 pm steph Says:

    Beautiful, beautiful! I just got my first tattoo today, as a matter of fact! Hadn’t even read your post yet.

    Mine is a heart with a (wicked) wolf paw in it. It’s short for “I <3 the Big Bad Wolf". I collect Little Red Riding Hoods because of my grandfather. When I was two, he started telling me a very gory story of Little Red Riding Hood. I LOVED it. (In fact, that's one of my earliest memories.) Whenever we visited, I begged for grandpa's version while my grandma hollered in the background that I would have nightmares.

    When I was three, he sent me a postcard from somewhere with a holographic Red and Wolf on it and a collection was born.

    So, on my right shoulder is now a very vivid addition to my collection. I want to show grandpa…but I'm going to have to swear him to secrecy so he doesn't tell grandma!

  55. On July 22nd, 2011 at 12:32 am kittyn Says:

    just got my first 2 done last month. boring tattoos overall, just my kids names done from ankle to mid shin up the outside of my legs. I am already planning what will end up around them to make them pretty though.

    the artist then promptly tried to talk my husband into getting a warhammer 40k sleeve done to cover some of his nasty home done tatts, so I don’t know who gets the next appointment.

  56. On July 22nd, 2011 at 1:47 am Miranda-Moms Bookshelf & More Says:

    I LOVE it! Very nice! I have 2 tats on my shoulders, a good vs. evil theme. I love it and plan to add more!

  57. On July 22nd, 2011 at 7:08 am Serial Swooper Says:

    Is there a tattoo-type? I think there’s a tattoo STEREO-TYPE but probably not actually a real “type”. I know this bc if there was too be a type, it would probably not be me. However, I turned 40 last week and the only thing that screams mid-life crisis is the fact that I got a tattoo slapped on my conservative ass. I sort of hate it. And I sort of love it. Kinda like Nutella.


  58. On July 22nd, 2011 at 1:30 pm Nancy P Says:

    Love it!

  59. On July 22nd, 2011 at 1:51 pm Cindy Says:

    looking good!

  60. On July 22nd, 2011 at 8:18 pm steph gas Says:

    i actually just got my first and second tattoos for my mom in the past week. one is a small shell on my hand that was done at a cancer fundraiser (tattoos for cancer, a couple of shops around here do it once a year) and my flash-style flower and sparrow with the good ‘ol ‘mom’ banner on it. just the first two of many to come.

    actually the big one had me in the chair for 2.5 hours which was my longest sitting so far. i had my first experience with tattoo flu and slept for like 10 hours straight. it also covered up a shitty black cat i had done when i was 18.

  61. On July 23rd, 2011 at 9:26 am Stuff I Starred Saturday – Top Ten Due To The Lazy « LucidLotusLife Says:

    […] Fresh Ink […]

  62. On July 23rd, 2011 at 6:13 pm Kerra Dawn Says:

    I have very large tattoos on the back of my knee caps that now cover a drunken mistake from when I was 18. To say the least it hurt. I rather give birth to 100 babies vaginally with no meds than ever do that shit again.

  63. On July 24th, 2011 at 10:57 pm Gunfighter Says:

    Holy cow, Batman!

    I love it, Becks… I really do. I suppose that shouldn’t surprise you, though, considering I have five tats and plas for quite a few more.

    Here is a link to my tattoo stories… and I will provide the foot massage along with your pistol lesson whenever you find yourself in my pat of the country.

  64. On July 24th, 2011 at 10:59 pm Gunfighter Says:

    I forgot to add that this is SMOKIN’ HOT!

  65. On July 28th, 2011 at 9:44 am brianne Says:

    That is badass and beauti-freaking-ful!!! Question though, do you not worry it may make your skin more appealing to some Buffalo Bill type character? Because I’m NOT a cross dressing seamstress psychopath, and even I kind of want to make a suit from your skin. Or at least just that tattoo’d part. Hehe, I’m just kidding, you forget all the skin peeling nonsense and just focus on the beauti-freaking-ful part of this comment. Kay?

    I wish I had a good tattoo story to tell. Alas, I don’t. I have 10 tattoos. I hate some, love others. I definitely want some covered, some added to, and a few new pieces. Non are as superb as your fine piece of art though I must say. Buffalo Bill would never want to wear mine…

    PS I think you are amazing and love your Band Back Together posts. ?

  66. On July 28th, 2011 at 5:25 pm brianne Says:

    Oops. Ignore the ? at the end, I do love you BBT posts, no question.

  67. On July 30th, 2011 at 8:47 pm katrina Says:

    very nice tattoo! i got my first tattoo after my dad died(it was very traumatic) he hated tattoos so it was a get you back sort of dumb childish thing(you died so i’m gonna get a tattoo “how ya like me now?” ) lol( on my neck ) as I got older i realized people die and it sucks so as a memorial to my father i got a large piece done on my ribcage (dumb because he didn’t like tattoos lol) but it was a way of healing, him dying was more painful than anything and so was getting my ribcage tattooed LOL then i went for more getting my back done my hip my foot and my whole other side ..tattoos are GREAT! oh yea a month after my dad passed away i had a child he knows lots of people with and without tattoos and he doesn’t really have an opinion on them he thinks some are cool some are not he thinks i’m normal cause thats what he grew up around … however his cousins think i’m the “weird” aunt with tattoos! LOL

  68. On August 4th, 2011 at 3:30 pm Beth Says:

    I know I’ve said it before, but this tat is just plain stunning. I loooooooooove it.

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