Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride



My Girl,

Today at 4:3…uh, erms, *mumbles incoherently* you will be four years old.

robin waits on the sidewalk

The squishy maternal part of me wants to throw you back into a onesie and one of those wee diapers that nearly engulfs your tiny bum and turn back the clock four years to the time when my youngest baby was actually a baby. The other part of me wonders how it’s only been four years since you rocketed into this chaotic world.

I still have to pinch myself to make sure that I’m not dreaming – I have a daughter. Me! A daughter! I’d always expected my household to be full of boys, stinky socks, and fart jokes (I’d also planned to name house plants after my television husbands, which, frankly, is neither here nor there). I never expected to be lucky enough to become the mother of a daughter.

But here we are, four years into it, and I can’t imagine my life without you by my side.

I wanted to start this letter to you, my Sweet Girl, by telling you how sorry I am. I wish that things between your Dad and I had managed to work themselves out. I know it’s confusing right now and I know it well, but I have to believe that this is what’s best for everyone. My hope is that you’ll learn from this experience that you should never settle for anything less than what you deserve out of life, out of a partner, and that you won’t be afraid to say “no, this isn’t working,” and change your life.

Because you, me, everyone – we all deserve the very best. That’s why you’ve got to take life by the balls, make it your bitch and never let anything get in your way. Ever.

You’re more like me than simply the way we look. We both share the opinion that glitter is mandatory for something to be truly beautiful, you happily wear a pair of ridiculously adorable and incredibly uncomfortable shoes just because they’re pretty, and you don’t sway your opinion, once your mind has been made up. You’re a spitfire of a person, and you’re going to be one hell of a lady. Surviving the insurmountable odds that you did, well, I can’t help but wonder what you’ve been put on this planet to do.

I can hardly wait to find out.

My Girl, I hope that you learn to stand tall and stand proud, knowing that what you do is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. Don’t let anyone else tell you different. Take criticism as a sign to do more, be better, and show people what you’re made of. Don’t stoop to spreading rumors, calling names, or lying to make a point  – it’s unbecoming and it’s tacky. Knowing that you’re in the right, well, that is enough.

Never let anyone tell you how you’re “supposed” to look or feel – your feelings are your own, looks change, and if someone thinks that you’re “supposed” to be doing something different, well, it’s clear that they don’t know you. Truly their loss.

Loves in your life may come and go, sort of like busboys filling your water in a crowded restaurant, but the greatest love, and the one person you matter to most, well, she’s not going anywhere. That would be you, Lovie. You don’t need the love of anyone but yourself to make it through the day, and if someone makes you feel otherwise, he or she isn’t worth your time or energy.

Accept that your journey may never be easy, and if it’s not, don’t fight it. This is your life, your story, and you can be the victim or you can be the hero – your call. Use your experiences to help others; to be better, rather than wallowing in your story. Grieve your losses, nurse your wounds, and come back to the world better and stronger than ever.

Be kind to those you meet, even if they are unkind to you. You never will know how that spot of kindness will affect those around you. No act of kindness is too small.

Don’t take people at who they say they are; their actions will speak volumes while their words are just those: words. Accept one unalienable truth: most people are good, and no matter how angry you are at them, know that they were simply doing the best they could. Same as anyone else.

Speaking of choices, don’t put too much stock in the wrong ones you make. Mistakes are your way of learning what works and what does not, and what you learn from the wrong choices you make is often volumes larger than you do from the right ones.

Never be too proud to apologize when you’ve hurt someone. You don’t need to crawl to the Alter of Your Wrongness, but you should always own up to what you’ve done and how you’ve hurt someone. They can choose to accept your apology or ignore it, but either way, you’ve done your best to make things right.

And when you’re done, my sweet thing, changing the world, don’t forget to call your Mom. She loves you so.

Love always,


28 Comments to


  1. On January 28th, 2013 at 11:43 am Aunt Becky (@mommywantsvodka) Says:

    Today, my warrior child is four:

  2. On January 28th, 2013 at 11:56 am Kathy Says:

    I teared up just a bit. This is beautiful. I love you and my mini me’s twin!

  3. On January 28th, 2013 at 12:01 pm Rachel Says:

    Beautiful. Simply beautiful!! Happy Birthday, Amelia!!

  4. On January 28th, 2013 at 12:13 pm Joules Says:

    HBD, Mimi! Happy gave birth day, mama!

  5. On January 28th, 2013 at 12:41 pm The Comedy Ninja (@ComedyNinja) Says:


  6. On January 28th, 2013 at 12:48 pm Robyn Says:


  7. On January 28th, 2013 at 12:49 pm nikkiana Says:

    Happy birthday, little lady!

  8. On January 28th, 2013 at 1:21 pm Christine Says:

    “This is your life, your story, and you can be the victim or you can be the hero – your call.” Profounder words were never spoken. Wish my mom had told them to me about 40 years ago. You have three lucky kids, Aunt Becky. <3

  9. On January 28th, 2013 at 1:24 pm Lana Says:

    This gave me goosebumps. Your daughter is so lucky to have such a strong, insightful mama. Happy birthday to her!!

  10. On January 28th, 2013 at 1:25 pm Grace Says:

    So beautifully said. Give that gorgeous girl big hugs from the Dragon and me. Wish I could be there to celebrate in person!

  11. On January 28th, 2013 at 1:43 pm Tracie Says:

    Happy Birthday Mimi!! <3

  12. On January 28th, 2013 at 2:19 pm Triplezmom Says:

    Happy birthday Mimi! What a beautiful letter your mommy has written you.

  13. On January 28th, 2013 at 2:44 pm @KoreenOlbrish Says:

    This might be my fav blogpost I’ve ever read. i want to share it w my Six 🙂 “Four via @mommywantsvodka

  14. On January 28th, 2013 at 3:27 pm Sue J. Says:

    so so sweet. happy birthday.

  15. On January 28th, 2013 at 4:32 pm Mike Says:

    You have the most beautiful smile.

  16. On January 28th, 2013 at 8:53 pm Erin Margolin (@ErinMargolin) Says:

    Four: My Girl, Today at 4:3…uh, erms, *mumbles incoherently* you will be four years old. Th… via @MommyWantsVodka

  17. On January 28th, 2013 at 10:59 pm Kristin Says:

    Happy Birthday to the Amazing Amelia! I simply can’t believe it’s been a full 4 years since you took this world by storm.

  18. On January 29th, 2013 at 7:11 am Kimberly Speranza (Sperk*) Says:

    I wish a parenting figure would have written me something like this. 😉 Everyone deserves this kind of love, it just so happens that sometimes parents aren’t aware enough, or too afraid of their own stuff to express it. Inspired by your bravery. Happy for your little girl. Blessings.

  19. On January 29th, 2013 at 11:15 am chrisinphx Says:

    Whoa, 4 years already!! Happy Birfday Amazballs Little Amelia!

  20. On January 29th, 2013 at 11:44 am Emelie Samuelson Says:

    This is absolutely beautiful. I don’t know which one of you is luckier.

  21. On January 29th, 2013 at 5:32 pm Meg at the Members Lounge Says:

    You just carved in stone (or the interwebs) the most important lesson someone can learn: “own up to your mistakes and apologize”. Now, we should go needlepoint that on a pillow!

  22. On January 29th, 2013 at 6:50 pm Wombat Central Says:

    Happy birthday, Amelia!

  23. On January 30th, 2013 at 3:03 am Alexis Anne Says:

    This is beautiful. If I knew how, I would needlepoint every word of it into a beautiful creation for Amelia to have as a keepsake. Sine I don’t have any skills in that area, the print version will have to suffice, but it will do quite well. If you want, I can ask my cousin who went on a Mormon mission to translate it into Portuguese.

  24. On January 31st, 2013 at 3:14 am Alexis A. Rousseau (@TheAngelAlexis) Says:

    Four via @@mommywantsvodka

  25. On January 31st, 2013 at 5:14 pm Janis Says:

    This is beautiful, something that we can all take to heart, even though you wrote it for your daughter. I hope Amelia had a wonderful birthday!

  26. On February 2nd, 2013 at 9:07 am C. Lee Reed Says:

    Don’t blink…my baby just woke up a 16 year old. How did this happen? Happy Birthday Amelia.

  27. On February 13th, 2013 at 7:52 pm ben polk Says:

    I don’t know why I keep coming back to your blog, but I do. I say to myself, this person has somehow touched me with her words. And I am drawn in. It’s weird because under normal circumstances feelings and words are not my thing..but yet I am drawn in. Thank you.

  28. On February 17th, 2013 at 3:01 pm Natalie Says:

    Thank you for a beautiful letter to your daughter. I divorced my daughters dad 7 years ago and each day I remind myself and them to never ever ever settle for less than the very neat for themselves. Big hugs to you and your family.

Email will not be published

Website example

Your Comment:

My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!
My site was nominated for Hottest Mommy Blogger!
Back By Popular Demand...