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Every Day I’m Shufflin’


Back before my life became a Telenovela – which may or may not be an insult to Telenovelas everywhere – I’d signed up to do the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Walk in Chicago.

In case you’re unawares, I’ve been working with mental illness-y stuff for over two years at Band Back Together, trying to reduce the stigma of mental health and other traumas through the power of written word and appropriate resources so that we may all grow, learn and heal.

So this NAMI walk, winding through some of the most beautiful parts of downtown Chicago (not a dead rat to be seen anywhere!), I’d completely forgotten about, what with the impending move (which may or may not occur two weeks early), the dissolution of my union, packing, and trying to maintain some semblance of sanity (shut UP, I am sorta sane). Thankfully, our ever-present hero Dawn was around to remind me.



Dawnie, July 27: “Do you want to just go from my house? You can drive here and we’ll go.”

Me: “Huh? Your house? Sure! Can we order pizza?”

Dawnie: “You don’t remember?”

Me: “I remember pizza!”

Dawnie: “THE NAMI WALK!”

Me: “Isn’t that next year?”


Dawnie, August 8: “So you’re meeting me at my house and we’ll go park downtown and walk to the area of the walk.”

Me: “WALKING? Should I wear my fuck-me pumps?”

Dawn: “I.Am.Going.To.Kill.You.”

Me: “What? They’re a PRETTY shade of blue.”


Dawnie, September 1: “So Erin and Maggie are meeting at my house on the 15th. We’ll carpool.”

Me: “K.”

Dawnie: “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

Me: “Nope. Will there be cake?”

Dawnie: “You’re fired.”

Me: “Second time I heard that today.”


My pea-brain can only handle so much information at once, so it’s safe to say I didn’t TRULY remember the NAMI walk until Thursday, when I was all, SHITFUCK how did I forget that? and both Dawn and The Guy Formerly On My Couch reminded me that my memory is like a block of Swiss cheese.

Which is why, on Saturday, not one, not two, not three, but at least 15 people reminded me to wear “sensible” (read: boring) shoes for walking a 5K. The Guy Formerly On My Couch went as far as to come over ahead of time and made sure I was not wearing gaudy flippity-flops or those awesome Strawberry 4 inch heels. He just subtly put my running (HA! LIKE I RUN!) shoes in front of me and stared pointedly at me until I put them on.

We arrived at Dawn’s with enough time to notice this:

every day I'm shufflinIf THAT’S not therapy-provoking, I don’t know what is. It’s also a handy way to ensure NO ONE EVER will steal your car. Because OMFG no. Clowns make me scared in my no-no square.

It was a good thing we were walking for mental health.

On the way to the city, I performed my dramatic re-readings of various emails, much to the delight (read: horror) of my car mates, which made me wish I had some old crappy love letters to do this with – it’s one of my favorite things to do at a party, besides yell randomly, “NO I DON’T WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR RASH.”

When we got downtown, we made a beeline for the NAMI 5K, held somewhere in Grant Park.

every day I'm shufflin

While I’ve never been one to walk (or run) for a cause, I have to say that it was pretty empowering, even if there were no snacks to be had. (WANTED SNACKIES!)

Mental illness is one of the only illnesses in which you’re actively judged for having. It’s our job – high heels or not – to reduce that.

I think we’re off to a good start.


Wrote this about dreaming big and the importance of NEVER giving up your dreams.

20 Comments to

“Every Day I’m Shufflin’”

  1. On September 17th, 2012 at 10:28 am @mommywantsvodka Says:

    Every Day I’m Shufflin’

  2. On September 17th, 2012 at 3:35 pm Cynthia Medina Says:

    I think you should have worn your F Me pumps and let them fireman carry you:) Glad you made the walk.

  3. On September 17th, 2012 at 3:40 pm Cynthia Medina Says:

    But wait. No snacks? Seriously? No snackies for Aunt Becky's? Aren't there laws? Demand a new charity! Wrong on every level.

  4. On September 17th, 2012 at 10:51 am Carol Anne Says:

    OMG that clown? I’d cross the street to get away from it. Creepy, way too creepy.

  5. On September 17th, 2012 at 11:32 am Brittany Says:

    That clown was bad-ass. It also made my no-no square quiver in fear! Good job doing you’re awesomeness with the walk love!

  6. On September 17th, 2012 at 11:39 am roxie Says:

    You shoulda called Jimmy Johns! 🙂

  7. On September 17th, 2012 at 5:11 pm FFW* (Fearless Fibro Warrior) Says:

    Depressing black shirts are NOT appropriate for a walk designed to keep people from eating a pound of sedatives. Just sayin'. (Can't tell I'm off my meds, can ya?)

  8. On September 17th, 2012 at 5:53 pm Angie Rayfield Says:

    I'm on the "What? No SNACKS?" bandwagon. That's a crime. There should always be snacks. And vodka. Or maybe vodka snacks. (I'm pretty sure that's why jell-o shots were invented. Why have snacks and a drink when you can combine them? So much more efficient.)

  9. On September 17th, 2012 at 11:21 pm Clay Thomas Says:

    I have that mask. Really.

  10. On September 17th, 2012 at 1:57 pm Grace Says:

    Glad you got out there!

    Creepy clown mask may or may not have made me pee my pants a little…

  11. On September 17th, 2012 at 2:21 pm Tracie Says:

    Clowns don’t generally bother me….but that one is pretty disturbing.

  12. On September 17th, 2012 at 3:02 pm I Honor The Crazy In You Contest Says:

    […] I am (cough, cough), I was reading Becky Hark’s post today over at Mommy Wants Vodka entitled Every Day I’m Shufflin’. She mentions the great work she does through Band Back Together fighting the stigma of mental […]

  13. On September 17th, 2012 at 3:04 pm Pete In Az Says:

    Should’ve brought the chainsaw.

  14. On September 17th, 2012 at 4:16 pm Kana Says:

    Is it okay if I steal “scared in my no-no square”? I feel I might have earned it after surviving the Mt Dew sinus enema I suffered upon reading that. (Breathe, drink, or laugh; do not think you can multi-task all 3) But I wanted to check first…who knows what else you may be able to do to me from hundreds of miles away? 😉

  15. On September 17th, 2012 at 4:28 pm Triplezmom Says:

    I think it’s awesome that you did this and that you even wore sensible shoes. I used to volunteer at the Alzheimer’s Walk and we gave out snacks, though. We need to talk to NAMI about this.

  16. On September 17th, 2012 at 5:49 pm Snowflake Says:

    Call me next year and I’ll come walk with you. In heels.

  17. On September 17th, 2012 at 6:28 pm Becca Says:

    Thank you for standing and representing all of us who struggle with mental health issues. I wish there were things closer that I could participate in, but alas. You are an awesome girl, hugs!!

  18. On September 17th, 2012 at 7:34 pm Joules Says:

    Loving the Abbey Road-ish Band shot, but where’s your lovely mugs? Y’all kick bootay for standing up for the lot of us mentally ill folk. Thank you!

  19. On September 17th, 2012 at 8:31 pm @mommywantsvodka Says:

    Every Day I’m Shufflin’ – this time? For mental health. cc: @NamiMass

  20. On September 17th, 2012 at 9:37 pm @MotherUnadorned Says:

    RT @mommywantsvodka: Every Day I’m Shufflin’ – this time? For mental health. cc: @NamiMass

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