Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Et tu, Jamie-Lynn?

December20

Unless you live under a rock, you know that Britney’s 16-year old sister is pregnant. People are outraged, inflamed, irate and disgusted by this. What kind of mother would allow this to happen, they scream, look at what a mess Britney is and now her sweet younger sister is going down the same path! Heathens!

I can’t say I agree with them.

It’s unfortunate, yes, that a 16-year old girl is pregnant because no one (at any age, really) who has a child understands precisely what that means until they are born. Babysit for a couple of hours and you may THINK you know what it’s like, but it’s a mere glimmer of what having a child involves. I’m no martyr and I don’t mean to imply that it cannot be handled, I just mean that in the same way that you can not know how it feels to go hungry, REALLY starve unless it has happened to you before.

What makes me feel sorriest for the poor girl is not her name (although, COME ON, it’s TERRIBLE), but that she’s in the process of being ripped to shreds by everyone on the planet, and will continue to be. I have a personal axe to grind with those who are complaining bitterly about her pregnancy as these are the same people who would have been more aghast at the thought of her aborting it.

As we all know, most people do not wait until marriage to have sexual relations. I’m sure that there are people out there who do, but I do not happen to personally know any. Maybe she shouldn’t have been having premarital sex, but in that case, no one should. Abstinence is obviously the way to circumvent any of these scandalous situations, but we’re all aware that that policy doesn’t work. You tell a teenager who is chock full of hormones NOT to have sex over and over and the minute they have the opportunity, they’ll be all over that like white on rice. Weren’t you?

(as an aside, have no fear: I have The Sex Talk planned out. I have my materials ready and will arm my son’s with the most information possible so that they are able to make the best desicions that they can when the time comes. Forewarned IS, afterall, forearmed. I have a number of pictures of STD’s, anatomical pictures of the sex organs, and am planning to scar them for the rest of their lives with liberal usage of the words “clittoris,” “orgasm,” and “horny.” Be very, very, VERY glad that I am not your mother)

As I wasn’t in the room when the deed was done (thankyouGod), I have no idea whether or not they were using protection. And hell, even if they were, accidents happen, one turbo sperm gets lucky and babies are concieved. In my opinion, it’s lucky that there aren’t MORE accidents. Because in all seriousness (especially at that age of peak fertillity), it could have happened to any of us who were having sex at or around that age.

I was a couple of years older than she when I had my first son, but I still got a lot of flack for it. People were THRILLED to learn that I hadn’t aborted him, but scandalized that I was pregnant outside of marriage. Maybe it hit too close to home for comfort for them, but they were naive to believe that I was the only one who was having The Sex. I was just the only one that they knew who got a bun in the oven (and yes, I was on OCP) while doing so, which was something that could easily have happened to any of them and/or their children.

While I feel somewhat sorry for Jamie-Lynn, I am also proud of her for taking responsibility for her actions in the way she felt most appropriate (this is NOT to imply that I am being all pro-life. Far from it. But we wouldn’t have heard had she aborted the fetus, so I wouldn’t be able to say that I am proud of her for taking responsibilty for THAT.). At first glance, I was a bit disgusted with her cover story as it seems a bit cash-whoring, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. She was going to have to address her burgeoning belly at some point in time, so why not do so on her own terms?

My only hope for this situation is that she is able to raise her child outside of the public eye, so that he or she has the chance to grow up as normally as possible. Despite the flack that her mother is getting for this, I am sure that she will do all that she can to help her daughter and grandchild make it through. Lord knows, they have the money to hire a bunch of nannies and nurses to help with all of it.

We shall see, we shall see.

Obviously, this is my opinion. What is yours?

15 Comments to

“Et tu, Jamie-Lynn?”

  1. On December 20th, 2007 at 12:25 pm Ashley Says:

    The part that kills me is the article on CNN about “What will you tell your kids about Britney’s sister’s pregnancy?” All the responses about single parents and morals and their kids won’t be watching Zoey 101 anymore and Nickelodeon has a moral obligation to cancel the show. Come off of it already. People have sex. Teenagers have sex. YOUR teenagers will prob have sex. The only obligation at all is that of the PARENT to teach their child. And hey, maybe some of these ultra conservatives will get their wish and their children will remain “pure” until their wedding night. An no distrespect to that. Then again, and prob more likely, the kid in question will have their fair share of The Sex with a variety of partners prior to the aisle walk. And people in glass houses…

  2. On December 20th, 2007 at 12:26 pm Ashley Says:

    Sorry, I have now out my soap box away for the remainder of the week.

  3. On December 20th, 2007 at 12:41 pm SaraS-P Says:

    OKay, I must admit I have ranted about this today. But not at her decision to keep the baby. I worry about the media glorifying teen pregnancy, but I have been surprised by how many people are upset she is keeping it since they think she’ll obviously be a horrible mom. Maybe. But we don’t know that for certain. Just because her sister is a train wreck and she is young doesn’t guarantee anything.

    And what’s with saying Lynne Spears must be a horrible mom because of this? Teen pregnancy happens all the time in all sorts of families.

    I am still jealous of her fertility. I am human after all. And I wish she wasn’t on the cover of a magazine. It just sits badly with me.

  4. On December 20th, 2007 at 12:51 pm Chris Says:

    For me, it’s less that she actually got pregnant and more of seriously, what the hell was her mother thinking letting her 16 year old shack up? It’s not like The Britney was so responsible that it never crossed her mind that this could happen…

  5. On December 20th, 2007 at 1:26 pm Karen Says:

    Ok, yes, teens have sex. Though I wasn’t having sex at 16, I know that kids do. And in theory I feel no differently about Jamie-Lynn getting pregnant than I do about anyone else getting pregnant at 16. However, when you take on the public role of being a moral Christian, southern good girl, then we are going to mock you when you fall flat on your face.

    Maybe it is not fair. But when you accept the benefits of fame, you have to accept the negative aspects of it too.

  6. On December 20th, 2007 at 12:42 pm becky Says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more, duder. I just had to turn of the news because I was so disgusted with their discussions about it. Seriously, it’s not THAT scandalous.

    Couldn’t they have found a litter of cute kittens who were adopted by a dog to report about?

  7. On December 20th, 2007 at 1:20 pm tony Says:

    It has always been my thought that society has it all wrong on this. Is there any species on the planet, other than people, that waits to reproduce, despite being ready to do so? We are fighting a few million years of evolution that say ‘REPRODUCE NOW!’ Man against nature…I always bet on nature.

  8. On December 20th, 2007 at 1:40 pm becky Says:

    Sara, I dig you. It MUST feel like a mockery to those who aren’t able to fall pregnant immediately. This makes sense.

    Tony, you’re right: it IS an evolutionary thing involved. It’s no wonder that teens have sex, that’s what they’re programmed to do.

    Chris, I don’t think that they DID live together. I think that was a misrepresentation of the whole deal. Apparently, she lives with her mother.

  9. On December 20th, 2007 at 3:44 pm Kristine Says:

    I honestly don’t think she can win for losing on this one. If she keeps the baby she’s “glorifying teenage pregnancy” had she aborted the baby she’d be a “murderer.” Honestly – I don’t think Nick can write a teen pregnancy into Zoey101 and keep the show alive anyway. So she essentially also lost her job. Sure they could tape around it like they do in other shows, but why bother when you can humiliate a girl in the public eye instead. It would be more fun that way. [I should note that Nick has not said anything that bad, it’s been the rest of the media.]

    I think the backlash against her mom is because she had a parenting book that was supposed to come out about the time this baby will be born. And oh how ironic! [when is someone going to invent sarcastifont?] As if her mother would be any more capable of predicting a teen pregnancy than any other mother of a pregnant teenager.

  10. On December 20th, 2007 at 4:01 pm Chris Says:

    Really? I heard they were living together and I’m much more apt to string up Lynne Spears for letting her baby shack up and then being shocked than I am for J-L getting pregnant on her own. Yeah, kids will sneak around and have sex, but that doesn’t mean that parents should ENCOURAGE it.

    (as an aside, have no fear: I have The Sex Talk planned out. I have my materials ready and will arm my son’s with the most information possible so that they are able to make the best desicions that they can when the time comes. Forewarned IS, afterall, forearmed. I have a number of pictures of STD’s, anatomical pictures of the sex organs, and am planning to scar them for the rest of their lives with liberal usage of the words “clittoris,” “orgasm,” and “horny.” Be very, very, VERY glad that I am not your mother)

    That was my sex talk. 27 years later, no baby. Still goin’ strong. Trust me, this one works.

  11. On December 20th, 2007 at 4:58 pm MsPrufrock Says:

    I’m a liberal-minded person, but I have to say unplanned pregnancies piss me off to no end, especially when they happen to teenagers. I know it’s the infertility talking, but seriously, how often do condoms break and/or birth control fails? Certainly not as often as to correlate with the high number of unplanned pregnancies. I accept that accidents happen, but jesus, learn how to put on a condom, or figure out how the dates on your pills work.

    As a mother, I kinda sorta get secret pleasure out of how hard people like Jamie-Lynn (you’re right, horrible, ghastly name) will find motherhood. Shit, I nearly slit my wrists a thousand times, how will a 17 year old cope?

    I’m evil, and my handbasket is already packed for my swift journey to hell.

  12. On December 20th, 2007 at 7:50 pm Cricket Says:

    “I have a personal axe to grind with those who are complaining bitterly about her pregnancy as these are the same people who would have been more aghast at the thought of her aborting it.”

    True this. There’s no way to play it without criticism.

    I think any time Mommy and Daddy are so arrogant as to name their kid after the both of them, it’s bound to go haywire. Had a SIL’s sis named Barbara Jo who actually went by BJ. That Bible belt blinder system is fast in place.

    My first thought when I learned of the pregnancy and their ages was about the statuatory rape deal, but I just read that they are 23 months and a few days apart. Aparently that two year mark would have kicked in some bad mojo.

  13. On December 21st, 2007 at 5:18 am calliope Says:

    what? she’s pregnant??
    I hardly knew, what with all of the constant media coverage of the war.
    blah.
    I think celebrity is such a drug and it makes my gut turn that so much attention is going towards something that should be so, so private.

  14. On December 21st, 2007 at 9:05 am Kristin Says:

    The situation absolutely should be a private matter – unfortunately, JL decided to sell the story to a gossip mag – so I don’t have a lot of sympathy.

    Funny aside – We at the office are calling it The “Bible Camp Baby.”

    I have already packed my bags for the inevitable trip to Hell.

  15. On December 21st, 2007 at 11:34 am becky Says:

    Kristin, bwhahahahahahahaha!

Email will not be published

Website example

Your Comment:

My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!
My site was nominated for Hottest Mommy Blogger!
Back By Popular Demand...