Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » Celebratin’ Easter The Right Way.

Celebratin’ Easter The Right Way.

April25

Purchased at the pharmacy on Saturday night:

1 box vinyl gloves (in a kicky purple!)

1 bottle Maalox regular

1 bottle Maalox extra-strength

1 bottle body lotion

1 bottle Imodium

1 bottle Pedialyte

Tin of Bag Balm

1 box Chewable Pepto-Bismol

Air Freshener Spray

The teenage cashier looked mortified as she rang up my purchases until I said, “oh we’re just having a party tonight. Celebrate the whole Jesus-Thing.”

Then she looked very, very frightened.

————

How was YOUR Easter, Pranksters?

posted under Aunt Becky Has VD, Why Mommy Needs Vodka

45 Comments to

“Celebratin’ Easter The Right Way.”

On April 25th, 2011 at 11:10 am Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] Says:
Someone needs to send me to your house so I can take care of you.
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:45 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
No SHIT. I mean, heh, not quite like THAT.
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:12 am Misfit Mommy Says:
Wow, you just described the contents of my kids’ Easter baskets!

Eerie…
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:14 am Nancy P Says:
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:44 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
Lucky kids!
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:13 am Jana A Says:
Happy mothereffing Easter, y’all! Please get the sickies out of your house!
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:44 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
Dude, this is bullshit.
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:19 am Mary B Says:
The vinyl gloves reminds me of The Summer My Son Decided to Stop Pooping or Why I Didn’t Have a Fourth Child.

I bet you don’t want to even think about chocolate.
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:22 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
Blech. Chocolate. Blech.
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:31 am Lakegypsy Says:
That’s like the time I went into a Walgreens and purchased.

Roll of duck tape.

20 feet of rope

large black plastic bags

and a chainsaw.

I told her I had some loose ends to wrap up at home.

Happy Monday!!!
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:44 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
God Bless Monday’s.
On April 25th, 2011 at 9:25 pm Pete In Az Says:
You can buy a chainsaw at Walgreens?
On April 26th, 2011 at 9:39 pm The Anonymous Asker Says:
Dude. I need your help. 😉
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:51 am Joker_SATX Says:
Here is hoping you and the kids got over the crud quickly. Those are chocolate bunnies no one wants to have…
On April 25th, 2011 at 12:01 pm melanie Says:
oh my…..there are no appropriate words
On April 25th, 2011 at 12:02 pm Andie Says:
Should have thrown in a box of condoms and a personal enema, just for extra shock value.
On April 25th, 2011 at 12:08 pm Suniverse Says:
Sounds like a typical Saturday night. Except my gloves are pink.

Hope you’re all feeling better and less . . . explosive.
On April 25th, 2011 at 12:23 pm VEG Says:
Oh my, I just, I don’t even…too…many….jokes….head asploding now…
On April 25th, 2011 at 12:28 pm Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:
Sickies for Holidays is no fun!! I hope you all get better soon. And I love terrifying the teenage cashier’s it makes my day, night etc..

If it makes you feel any better at all, the bob Ross Bunny Card hand my mother in law all in an uproar yesterday it was priceless, then I proceeded to show her the rest. it was one of the better Easter’s I’ve had watching her meltdown.
On April 25th, 2011 at 8:01 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Please tell me you have a video of this.
On April 25th, 2011 at 12:39 pm thepsychobabble Says:
I read that as “in a kinky purple”
On April 25th, 2011 at 8:52 pm Hannah Says:
lol! ME TOO!
On April 25th, 2011 at 1:10 pm Pam Says:
Can you imagine being a friend of the cashier and listening to her tale after work? LOL

Our Easter was GREAT because all of our lovelies were HOME!
On April 25th, 2011 at 1:37 pm leanne Says:
Best shopping list ever.

Easter was pretty good. Only one child on antibiotics — double ear infection AND pink eye (because why have or when you can have AND?). May the germs leave our houses quickly!

Though today I’ve got a plumber at the house who is whacking apart the old cement utility tub in our laundry area and replacing it with a new non-cement one that I hope won’t leak or overflow.
On April 25th, 2011 at 2:08 pm The Sweetest Says:
Sounds about right. We weren’t barfin’ and poopin’ but there was more than enough hackin’ and snortin’. Why does everyone always have to be sick n Easter? Maybe this is the last of it. A last hoorah for winter.
On April 25th, 2011 at 2:22 pm Amelia Says:
Same exact Easter I had. And it can kiss the cellulite on my white ass.
On April 25th, 2011 at 2:50 pm Jolie Says:
priceless. I think you should have added feminine products, a pair of scissors, SOS pads, maybe some cheetos and a gallon of milk just to round it out. Nice, random, thoughts. And ask for a price check on the tampons. Really make that teen work for her $7.25/hr. I see it as an incentive to stay in school.
On April 25th, 2011 at 3:10 pm Gen Says:
Sounds like celbrated Easter the same way. I think the bubonic plague is consuming the Chicago area children.
On April 25th, 2011 at 4:08 pm Mrs Woog Says:
Nicely done x
On April 25th, 2011 at 4:40 pm Kristy Says:
Why do people get all sensitive when the word “Jesus” is mentioned? Geesh. I celebrated Easter Sunday by putting up a post called “Smut and Filth.”
On April 25th, 2011 at 8:00 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
Porn ‘n’ Eggs?
On April 25th, 2011 at 5:43 pm Dawn Says:
How was my Easter? Much less digestively challenged, shall we say.

Hope all are well soon.
On April 25th, 2011 at 6:26 pm SoberJulie Says:
That would have scared the poop outta me too 😉
On April 25th, 2011 at 6:36 pm JimRom Says:
And this post is a perfect example of why I check your blog on regular basis. Best part, I would have made the exact same comment…
On April 25th, 2011 at 8:03 pm Que Says:
What??? No Best of the Joy of Painting DVD? I’m so disappointed.
On April 25th, 2011 at 8:14 pm Sandra Says:
Could I borrow some of that Maalox….burp…
On April 25th, 2011 at 8:27 pm BK Says:
You know they have a vaccine for rotavirus now. It works great for the children, but they might want to also vaccinate the parents. I just spent 6 days getting over rotavirus myself.
On April 25th, 2011 at 10:43 pm Tracie Says:
NO fun at all. Hope y’all are feeling better today!
On April 25th, 2011 at 11:40 pm A Field of Dreams Says:
Can you put up a translation in Australian please. For most products I have no idea what you’re writing about. I can google but who could bother.
On April 26th, 2011 at 6:22 am John Says:
I ate lamb, the first non-seafood meat I’ve eaten in a year, on Easter. I needed that Maalox. But, it was so yummy

Hope everyone’s feeling better now.
On April 26th, 2011 at 8:22 am CC Says:
Holy S!!!! What is really going on in your camp?!?!
On April 26th, 2011 at 8:59 am erin margolin Says:
Your Easter sounds fantastic! oy. And far better than my Passover, wherein my husband referred to my first ever homemade matzoh ball soup as “Stone Soup.” snort.
On April 26th, 2011 at 10:22 am Wombat Central Says:
What, no K-Y?
On April 26th, 2011 at 12:06 pm Painted Maypole Says:
ha ha ha ha ha.
On April 27th, 2011 at 6:55 pm Muay Thai Los Angeles Says:
All you’re missing is a trashy magazine, pregnancy test and bottle of vodka. I wonder what kind of conversation she had when she went home later that night about your purchases?
-AVa