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Brothers And Sisters And Doctors


The pictures, they speak for themselves:

AW! Lookit! Alex is FEEDING THE BABY! What an awesome big brother!

Oh, and there he goes, trying to pick out her eyeball.

Kids. I tell you.


To answer your burning questions, I present to you an abbreviated post! Hooray for small bits!

So, why the hell didn’t the doctor tell you about the encephalocele?

Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not sure if the whole litigation-happy climate made him wary of telling us anything before he knew for sure or not. I’m feeling much better about it today after being nearly bowled over by the news yesterday. Dave, predictably, handled it much better.

We went into surgery thinking that this was fluid-filled, which in retrospect, makes no sense so the news that there were actual glial cells inside that pocket was completely shocking to me. And it made me feel oogly inside.

Kinda creepy when you think about it.

Well, what does this mean for her development?

No clue. She appears to have all of her mental facilities intact, but she’s only 5 weeks old. The age when they sleep, poo and eat exclusively. So measuring milestones is an impossibility at this moment. She does eat, poo, sleep and wiggle which is a good sign. And when she looks at you, the lights appear to be on and someone appears to be home.

We have been flagged by the county (her diagnosis, not my shabby parenting) and will be followed by a public health nurse. That in addition to my own nursing experience ought to be able to ascertain any issues as they arise (or don’t. Let’s hope) and get her into proper treatment as needed. We’ve had much experience with Early Intervention, so I’m not scared of that.

We’ll handle it either way.

How are Alex and Ben adjusting to their sister?

Shockingly well, truth be told. Alex is a consummate Momma’s Boy and I was most afraid of how he’d take to having to share my attentions, but so far so good. Providence smiled upon us and we were able to enroll him in some in-home care 3 hours a day after my neighbor recommended her sitter. Who is awesome.

This seems to help.

A couple of months before Amelia was born, we’d bought another doll for Ben, who is nurturing it and loving it just the way he did with his first doll (bought when I was pregnant with Alex). Yes, my son plays with dolls and no, I don’t think that’s stupid. He may be a father some day and I want him to know that men can nurture as well. He’s loving having another sibling.


Anything else I failed to answer? My brain is mushy and stupid right now (okay. My brain is always mushy and stupid. I admit it.) so ask away.

39 Comments to

“Brothers And Sisters And Doctors”

  1. On March 11th, 2009 at 3:51 pm Kristen Says:

    What sweeties your boys are. Alex’s hair is so freaking cute! And What the Hell??? I can’t believe they kept you in the dark. She is still in our prayers and will continue to be.
    (My boys have dolls too, I totally agree. Though the dolls do not get as much nurturing as I would have expected, they are sometimes subbed in for footballs. On the other hand, they are extremely nurturing to their younger sibs, so it is all good.)

  2. On March 11th, 2009 at 4:35 pm deb Says:

    Nothing I can think of. But it’s ok if he pops her eye out. She has another one. Who needs “2” eyes anyway? Sounds a little excessive to me.

  3. On March 11th, 2009 at 4:37 pm Miss Grace Says:

    At least he doesn’t take all of his baby’s clothes off and then throw him out on the porch…

  4. On March 11th, 2009 at 4:38 pm Cathy Says:

    Man, I do know how you feel about oogly. Somewhere about 10 days after birth, we learned that we were, in fact, squishing our fingers into the dura every time we fed him. We just thought it was swollen from … well, who knows but they SAID his head was swollen and it would go down, so we just attributed the squish-factor to that. After we found out we were touching his BRAIN TISSUE not just fluid on top of bone …. ew. We totally kept hats on him for a solid 2 months just to be able to tell ourselves “it’s the HAT squishing NOT HIS BRAIN”.

    And hey, eating is a milestone not to downplay. She’s doing exactly what she SHOULD be doing, and that is a huge relief.

  5. On March 11th, 2009 at 4:58 pm Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy Says:

    Wow, you are holding up exceptionally well. Bravo, my friend. I will keep everything crossed and send tons of positive vibes out that all is well with pretty little Amelia.

    And I think it’s AWESOME that your sons play with dolls. For sure.

  6. On March 11th, 2009 at 6:00 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    Amelia obviously picked the right mother for her who gave her the right family.
    Beautiful children.

  7. On March 11th, 2009 at 5:12 pm Danielle Says:

    MAN! Your boys are so sweet! There is NO way Zilla would be OK with me having another child. He is a complete and total mama’s boy. He doesn’t even like it when I hold another baby. You’re doing a great job, keep it up!

  8. On March 11th, 2009 at 5:20 pm Io Says:

    I think that would kind of piss me off that a doctor lied to me. Scratch that – I KNOW it would piss me off.
    Your daughter is beeeeeeaaaauuuuutiful. Her skin is like plastic!

  9. On March 11th, 2009 at 5:21 pm Tiffany @ My Random Wisdom Says:

    that is why we have 2 case the over zealous caretaker picks one out!

  10. On March 11th, 2009 at 5:21 pm Tiffany @ My Random Wisdom Says:

    OH and I wish my kids were nurturing towards dolls..they would rather smack them off a wall *sigh*

  11. On March 11th, 2009 at 6:53 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    Just keep watching for messages in the poo. Communicating via bowel movements is often the first attempt babies make. Try to see images in her poo.

    In all seriousness, I’m sure she’ll be fine. I have no reason to give you, but I’m sure.

  12. On March 11th, 2009 at 5:53 pm kate Says:

    this is all very good, but the question i need answered is:

    have your feet returned to normal human sized ones yet?

  13. On March 11th, 2009 at 6:01 pm ainebegonia Says:

    I have no boys of my own, but one of my nephews had a lovely doll for most of his toddlerhood and almost into kindergarten, his brothers weren’t as lucky. He’s the most well adjusted of my nephews. I’d trust him with a newborn straight from the womb, I wouldn’t trust the other two with a dead cactus.

  14. On March 11th, 2009 at 6:02 pm ainebegonia Says:

    Oh and are your feet human size yet?

  15. On March 11th, 2009 at 6:03 pm tash Says:

    Jiminy, here I missed yesterday’s foofara regarding oogly brain matter.

    I’m with above that eating, pooping, sleeping, and looking at you are all supremely positive. And I read through the linky and I swear, it sounds like one of those things where one of a million outcomes is possible, one being nothing at all. I kinda hate those. Just point me to the nothing at all, ok?

    Your son is adorable. And I need the number of the person who did botox on the baby.

  16. On March 11th, 2009 at 6:29 pm swirl girl Says:

    don’t the her brothers try to pick her eyeballs out…those darn things are so hard to shove back in tthere! LOL at the pictures.

  17. On March 11th, 2009 at 7:59 pm Lola Says:

    Well, he’s certainly a lot nicer to dolls than I was! I’m going with the thought that the doc knew Amelia would be just fine so there was no reason to have you reading all the doom and gloom on the Internet. Yeah, I like that thought, and I’m sticking with it.

  18. On March 11th, 2009 at 7:02 pm mandy Says:

    I am so glad the kids are adjusting well. Madison was 14 mo when I brought Drew home, she wouldn’t come near me for a week after. Now though, they are so close and interact all day long together. My fear now is that he doesn’t know what to do with himself when she isn’t around. It’s cool and I am so so so glad they will always have eachother. Special.


  19. On March 11th, 2009 at 7:24 pm Kyddryn Says:

    “William has a do-oll, William has a do-ol, ’cause someday William’s gonna be a faaaather tooooooo…..”

    Great song, that. The Evil genius has several doll-babies, because why not?

    Amelia will be perfectly herself, which is all any child can be…so there.

    Is plucking the eyes out what comes after feeding? Dang…I was doing it all wrong…

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  20. On March 11th, 2009 at 8:34 pm heather Says:

    Amelia has a big brother who is trained in plucking out eyes – watch out boys. Kisses to the little pumpkin! All three of them, really.

  21. On March 11th, 2009 at 9:08 pm Ames Says:

    Looks like Alex will be the one to scare away the boys when they come “hunting” for his sister. I recommend further training in eye-plucking just in case this isn’t enough…

  22. On March 11th, 2009 at 8:45 pm Jenn Says:

    My FIL told me I was an idiot (in those words!) when I bought Monkey a doll for his first birthday. Now Boo has a gajillion (and two!) dolls and he plays with them just as much as she does.

    Also, Alex has way more hair than Boo. I’m jealous. 🙂

  23. On March 11th, 2009 at 9:00 pm Melanie Says:

    I think everything is going to be fine, I just have a feeling….. hugs to you all!

  24. On March 11th, 2009 at 11:00 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:

    Alex? Freakin’ adorable!

    Glad the boys have been so taken with their baby sister. Also glad that, five weeks or not, Amelia is doing what Amelia is supposed to be doing. I imagine nothing but good things ahead for her, and for those big brothers who look out for her!

  25. On March 12th, 2009 at 12:01 am Susan Says:

    She’s five weeks already? Wow, time flies so quickly! I’m sure she will be fine…you seem to be handling this so well.

    Oh, and if you ask my brother, I’m sure he will tell you that plucking out eyes is what brothers DO!

  26. On March 12th, 2009 at 5:28 am Betts Says:

    Amelia looks perfectly, and therefore, she must be perfect. My unexpert, unauthorized opinion is that everything will be fine.

  27. On March 12th, 2009 at 6:50 am Kristine Says:

    I have no problem with boys playing with dolls. In fact when I peek in on my son in day care, he is often toting around a pink purse – I assume practice for when he’s married and his wife make him hold hers…or he’s gay – either way is fine with me, I could use someone to help me with my wardrobe anyway. He does also play with a doll occasionally, so I fear I’m headed for him being straight and a father and I’m going to have to find someone else to help me with my clothes.

    I think the only way to be is to think Amelia is perfect (which she is) until she shows signs that she isn’t. At least that’s how I’m approaching it.

  28. On March 12th, 2009 at 8:01 am Badass Geek Says:

    Wait. So you’re saying that I act pretty much daily the same way a 5-week-old infant does?

    I think I need some help.

  29. On March 12th, 2009 at 8:02 am honeywine Says:

    I thought everyone was very PC about boys playing with “girly” stuff now? I mean, I know guys who carry around purses…ok, they’re “messenger bags”…yeah, right. But, hey, it’s better than the fanny pack M. used to wear on vacation!

  30. On March 12th, 2009 at 8:22 am ewe_are_here Says:

    We just bought Boo a baby doll for his birthday… he loves his baby and constantly tucks it into blankets and onto pillows… it’s very sweet.

  31. On March 12th, 2009 at 10:58 am wishing4one Says:

    If i had a son i’d let him play with dolls too. I know Ameliia is going to do great! She has to and she has you for mommy, yeah! xoxoxoxo

  32. On March 12th, 2009 at 11:24 am colleenfalling Says:

    My 18 month old son has dolls, too. He hugs and kisses them and then abandons them to play basketball. Typical male.

  33. On March 12th, 2009 at 12:37 pm heather Says:

    It’s perfectly fine for boys to play with dolls.
    Kids always adjust better than we give them credit for.

  34. On March 12th, 2009 at 1:31 pm Stacey Says:

    My boys don’t have dolls. But! They make sure the bigger dinosaurs are very nurturing to the smaller dinosaurs, so I figure that is something right?

    Glad they are adjusting well to having a sister!

  35. On March 12th, 2009 at 5:05 pm mumma boo Says:

    Oogly inside, indeed! But she’s going to be just fine and running circles around her parents and big brothers in no time. She will be plucking their eyeballs out in another year, trust me. Glad to hear that both boys are adjusting so well. You’ll all get into a rhythm soon. Cenzo plays with Cheeks’ dolls more than she does. Especially the Barbies. If you call “looking up Barbie’s dress and yelling “butt” at the top of your lungs” playing.

  36. On March 12th, 2009 at 9:59 pm CLC Says:

    Cute pix. What loving boys you have!

    And I am glad she is eating, poohing and sleeping, etc. All good signs of healthy normal baby!

  37. On March 13th, 2009 at 12:24 pm fidget Says:

    W.T.F.? SRSLY The doctor didnt TELL YOU? I just.. I’m flabbergasted by this. At your follow up appointment you should kick him squa in da nuts. Jesus.

  38. On March 13th, 2009 at 1:38 pm Daniel Says:

    Did anyone start the betting pool on how long the baby will keep her eyeballs?

  39. On March 14th, 2009 at 4:41 am birdpress Says:

    If I had a son I would absolutely give him a baby doll. Cute pics! You really are holding up well. I hope you have managed to get some sleep!

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